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What I Did For Love: Chapter eleven
****End of flashback****
People say that your whole life flashes before your eyes right before you die like a movie. They say that all the things that really matter, all the things you really love, comes to you in scenes, pieces and bits, in a random order, causing you the ultimate happiness and this part of the movie is called Paradise. And then as the bright light takes your soul away, those scenes slowly fades, like some old film lost in a wooden closet until there is nothing left but the silence of death, causing you the ultimate misery and this part of the movie is called Hell. You can't avoid it, you can't postpone it.
…it's not true.
No, my life didn't pass in front of my eyes. I didn't see any flashes of my past or special moments. I didn't see my parents, Maxwell, Miss Fine or the kids and I didn't see any big long tunnel with a bright light at the end. In fact, I didn't see anything at all really, but I swear to God I heard…a voice…her voice…calling my name and saying something about a promise.
Oh yes, the promise. I had promised to her… I had promised to my C.C.…
…and with that thought, my eyes flew open.
She was there … my blonde angel was there, above me, holding my face in her warm hands, so very warm against my cold skin.
"The ambulance is coming, but you have to hold on!" She said to me as a hot tear slide down her cheek and into my lips adding a hint of saltiness at the metallic taste of blood that filled my mouth.
Sure I had seen her a lot of times sad and even more times mad, I maybe even saw her cry a time or two but I'm not even one hundred percent positive of that. What I did know for sure is that I had never seen her cry like that because of …me.
"Please, Miss Babcock, please don't cry my body is a little cold and numb, but I think I'm better, I can't feel pain any longer." I told her trying to calm her down, but she didn't response to me, quite the opposite. She was acting like I wasn't there. She was totally ignoring me. Maybe she was mad at me, maybe was blaming me for all this mess or maybe she was just scared or maybe shocked…so many maybes.
I tried to raise my hand, I tried to touch my roughed fingers to the velvet of her check, to ask her what was wrong, but I found that my hands were pinned under a heavy, unmovable force. "It seems that my body is more numb than I thought." I told to myself.
Then I noticed that someone appeared to be watching me, someone besides C.C., just a few feet away. My vision was a little blurry, but I recognized the uniform he was wearing almost instantly, he was a police officer. He seemed rather young, not more than twenty-five and had a sad expression on his face while he was looking down at my body and talking into his radio. An expression of relief crossed my face for the first time in days. The police had indeed came here after all, which means that my C.C. is save, but then where that scum is? I opened my mouth to ask C.C. if he escaped or got arrested by the police but the young police officer interrupted me, "is he okay, Ma'am?"
C.C. glanced at him like he was insane, only for a moment before returning her eyes at me."Does he look okay to you, you moron? And where the hell is that damn ambulance it should be here by now?" She yelled angrily, sending chills down the boy's spine.
"It's coming, Ma'am, I just talked to the driver on the radio."
"It better get here fast or help me God I'll throw him into the back seat of the limo and I will drive him to the hospital myself if I have to."
I was ready to make a joke, -that she barging like a dog at the poor kid- when her fingers slide to my neck, checking my pulse. Then she leaned forward and violently shook my shoulder and shouted, "Listen to me, dust mop. Don't you dare die on me! I swear, if you die on me, I will follow you into heaven and I will kill you with my bare hands."
"But I had read in the Bible that God forbidden you to return back when he kicked you out of heaven?" I teased her, trying to lighten her mood a bit and to help her see that I felt well enough to crack jokes. Then I was waiting for a zinger, and nothing. I even set her up again, I said, "don't make me get ugly" but the zinger never came. That was the moment when the truth hit me full force, she couldn't hear me. No one could. Oh no, this could mean only one thing…that I'm…I'm …dead!? The words came out sounding more like a question than a realization but they socked me all the same. But if I'm dead why am I still here? I asked, feeling panic rise up inside of me."Calm down," I whispered to myself. "Calm down and think," I said a little louder, knowing now that nobody could hear me anyway. Maybe I'm trapped in…what do they call it? Oh yeah, 'the In-Between'. They say that it's the state in-between life and death and you cannot pass on to the afterlife or turn back until someone 'up there' -God or Angel or whatever- decide your place, your fate. I'm not sure if this is meant as a reward or a punishment, but I know that if this is true then there's nothing else for me to do other than to wait and watch things happen without be able to intervene.
Thus, I decided to focus my eyes on C.C.'s and finally my panicked body relaxed slightly. I stared into C.C's eyes for what felt like ages, but in reality couldn't have been more than a few seconds.
She knew I had lost too much blood. She knew I was leaving. She could feel my pulse weakening, but she was stubborn…so stubborn to admit it. She just shaking her head in denial while she was yelling at me over and over again, "No, you're not going to die. I'm not letting you die." She was not ready to say goodbye to me, but neither do I to her. Not now. Not never.
"You promised me…you promised me that you will try…" C.C.'s voice came out in the most broken whisper I had ever heard in my life.
And I had tried, really tried, like I had promised her to but I just couldn't…it wasn't up to me anymore. Promises are made to be broken. A voice echoed inside my mind and the word 'broken' repeated a few times. I wanted to scream at the voice to shut up, but that would take a lot of energy and I had almost none. I felt myself slowly drifting and I could tell that this was it. The decision had been taken. "You should let me go now, C.C. It's time." I whispered while my eyes caressed her face, trying to memorize every little detail, every inch of her porcelain skin. I wanted to take that image with me.
C.C. felt a sob welling up in her throat and escaping it before she could stop it. "Please, Niles, I beg you, don't go. Don't leave me alone. Please wake up. I need you."
"Nonsense's you are C.C. Babcock the strongest woman I ever know. Always have been, always will be. You going to be okay, everything will be okay. You don't need me, you don't need anyone."
"I know it's selfish, but I don't want you to go," C.C. hissed. "I -" She didn't need to finish her sentence. We were both aware very well of the word that completed it but she pulled me up closer to her chest and brushed her lips against my ear as she whispered, "love you" before she sobbed again, resting her forehead to mine. I couldn't feel physically pain anymore but somehow at that very moment I did, I felt her pain. What an irony! I've been waiting forever to hear those words coming out of her mouth and now that I finally heard them, those words caused me pain.
"I love you, too." I whispered but she didn't hear me. She didn't hear the matching pain in my voice while I was falling farther and farther into the dark abyss, taking our chance and all the what-could-have-been's with me. Faintly, I could make out the sound of distant sirens. They were coming, but it was too late… I was gone.
To be continued…
A/N: Oh, poor Niles *sigh* I really, really hate myself right now and I guess you guys hate me too but before you caps lock me to death I just wanna say, in my defense, that this story will have a happy ending just like you asked me to, so pretty, pretty please bear with me until the next chapter, thanks!