Summary: Fairytale AU Thor has miles upon miles of shiny golden hair and lives in a magical tower. Tony is a shameless thief with a fat horse named Steve. Loki is terribly jealous. Clint is a parrot and King Fury has his eye patch stolen. SLASH HUMOR

Rapunzel ONE

Thor was a boy.

Thor was bored.

Thor was in a dress.

And Thor lived in an enchanted tower.

Oh did he mention he also had miles of long golden hair? Yeah, add that too.

"Hayaaaa!" Thor bunched his skirts around his thighs and took a flying leap at the open floor-to-ceiling window at the top of his tower-

And bounced right back inside in an explosion of pink and lavender laces. The green glow of the magic barrier faded slowly out of sight and Thor flopped upright again. A faint smoky scent lingered in the air. His eyebrows were somewhat shorter than they were before the leap. Thor huffed. Last time he had tried to follow Loki out of the tower; his lips had swollen to the size of bananas.

"I'm bored! AHHHH!" Thor let out a bloodcurdling scream and threw himself back down to the floor atop the coils of hair. He chewed on a strand and stared off into space.

Natasha padded onto his chest and settled herself down atop him lazily. Clint flapped his wings somewhere up in the rafters.

"Stupid girl!" he squawked. Thor pried off one of his lacy slippers and hurled it at Clint. The parrot screeched and scrambled for cover.

He'd been given Natasha as a seventh birthday present and he loved his black cat dearly but acquiring Clint had been something of an accident.

Loki had come back with a struggling bundle over one black-robed shoulder, slapped the flailing bird onto the kitchen table and threatened to gut it if it kept on talking. Thor had thrown himself at Loki and given him his saddest, biggest puppy eyes before Loki reluctantly allowed the nine-year-old to keep it as a companion. It was an added bonus that Clint was an extremely intelligent bird. But lately he'd acquired the nasty habit of spewing insults at Thor. It was kind of annoying. But they were his only companions during Loki's absence.

"I want to go out. You know, explore and stuff." Thor sniffed. Natasha purred and nosed at his hand. He smiled down at her. Clint shuffled closer and seated himself in a nest of thorn's hair. Thor looked around him. The tower remained untouched by time. The messy finer paints in the corner were a testimony to Thor's childhood times when he'd sit in Loki's lap while the sorcerer braided his long golden hair into a neat rope that hung down his back and pooled in his lap. Nowadays, Loki was never around. If he were, Thor would probably be a lot less bored. Just thinking about the tall handsome dark haired man made his chest tingle in a strange way and brought a blush to his cheeks. That had never happened before.

"I've lived here my entire life..." Thor trailed off and looked up at the wall above the fire place. It was carefully covered with a blank canvas but he'd memorized the contents behind it a long time ago. Clint shuffled into his lap.

"Just once, I want to see the glowing stars for myself."

Tony was a thief.

Tony was a vain prick of a man.

Tony was running from the palace guards.

He was also the proud owner of the most stubborn horse in all of Midgard.

Tony slapped his horse's huge haunches impatiently. "Come on Steve! Move faster! They're gaining on us!"

Steve let out a stubborn huff and trotted a tiny bit faster. Tony quashed the urge to strangle himself with the semi-automatic reins he'd invented.

This time, he'd only stolen Fury's favorite eye patch out of pure cheek. There was nothing to be gained by flitching the flimsy piece of pink fabric adorned with unicorns and sparkles. The only reason Tony had done it was to annoy the king of Midgard. Well, he also took a diamond tiara with a jewel the size of a robin's egg. Never say that Tony Stark, King of Thieves, came back without his pockets brimming with gold.

The king's men were gaining. In desperation, Tony leaned down and whispered "alright, I apologize for calling you fat." in Steve's ear and the horse visibly brightened. They moved considerably faster after that. Tony felt cheated.

They took a sharp left turn, sending grass and stones flying as Steve charged down a slope. Tony turned to poke his tongue out at the guards.

"In your faces, ladies!"

Then he turned around and got a thick branch in the face. Steve pranced on, ignorant of his downed rider. Tony rolled to a stop, clutching his bag of treasures to his chest.

His face felt broken.

The guards were coming and he had to hide. Tony struggled upright and staggered to a nearby rock. He flopped onto it and a second later, the ground gave way underneath him.

"Mother fuc-"

When Tony woke, he was lying beside a clear creek. The water hummed and tinkled as it slid down the rocky slope. He was in a beautiful meadow. Flowers of all colors and vibrant green grass hummed of life. He checked his prize and breathed a sigh of relief. His stupid horse was nowhere to be seen and he needed to find a place to stash the items. Now where could he hide them?

Five seconds later, Tony saw the Tower.

It took him twenty minutes to scale the impossibly tall tower and Tony was out of breath when he finally heaved himself into flat ground. He glanced around cautiously. The tower was empty. He breathed out a sigh of exhaustion and pulled out the tiara.

Everything happened so fast he truly didn't get a good look at his assailant. There was a blur of gold and pink before something hard connected with the back of Tony's head. He went down like a rock.

Thor was still wearing the frilly dress.

But he was no longer bored.

Natasha nudged him and Thor reluctantly lowered his hammer. Clint had perched himself onto the stranger's shoulder and was pecking at his ear.

"Dead! Dead!" Clint squawked.

Curiously, Thor shuffled closer for a better look. He was in shock. No one in the last eighteen years of his life had ever managed to break past the barriers Loki had put around the tower.

The stranger stirred and Thor shuffled back, raising his hammer in defense. Natasha hissed and advanced with her teeth bared. The dark haired man lifted his head slowly and squinted at Thor, his face scrunched in pain.

"What the fuck was that for?" he moaned and tried to move. But it was a futile attempt as Thor had tied several loops of his hair around the small chair the man occupied.

Thor crossed his arms over his lacy chest and tried to sound menacing. "Who are you?"

The man snorted sarcastically. "I'm Prince Charming."

Thor peered closely at his face and dangled the strange sparkly circle of metal and the even stranger pink cloth in his fingers. "What this? And this?"

"Give that back!"

"Not until you tell me what it is and who you are!"

"Gods almighty, are you a boy? Why the hell are you in a dress?"

"Don't change the subject!" Thor lifted his hammer in warning. The man winced and shrank back.

"Alright, what do you want to know?" he asked warily.

Thor was about to speak when Clint screeched "master Loki is back!"

Thor panicked.

The only warning Tony got was a hammer to the face. Again.

Thor unwrapped his hair and shoved the limp man into a nearby closet, stuffed the metal circle into his skirts and rushed to the window.

The familiar sight of his most favorite person in the whole world made Thor's heart ache in a painfully good sort of way. He blushed and threw his braid down. Loki's spell made it impossible to teleport directly into the tower. Eighteen years of growing his hair made it long enough to reach the bottom of the tower.

Thor pulled Loki up and the exhausted looking dark-robed man allowed Thor to bury his face in his chest. Finally, Thor felt at peace.

"Have you missed me during my absence, pet?" Loki's smooth low voice was like velvet and honeyed chocolates. Thor nodded happily and tried not to draw attention to the closet with the unconscious man in it. Loki did not need to find out.

"Did you bring me anything from your travels?"

Loki laughed low and seductive. "Yes, precious. Of course I did."

He beckoned Thor to sit at his feet by the fireplace and carded log pale fingers through his golden mane. Loki had a special fascination with his hair.

"Sing to me, pet."

Thor did as he was told.

After securing fragrant flowers in Thor's locks and presenting him with a new set of paints and brushes, Loki sat back and closed his eyes. Thor studied his features quietly, his head in Loki's lap.

Loki was still the handsome young man Thor's earliest memories could provide. Time left no marks on his body or face. Dark hair the color of crow's wings framed a narrow face with stunning jade green eyes and a slightly hooked nose stood proudly over thin bloodless lips. Thor thought he was the most beautiful man he'd ever seen. Well, the only man anyway.

"Something on your mind, pet?" cold fingers stroked Thor's full cheeks and Loki regarded him with a cool calculating look.

Thor fidgeted with the edge of his gown nervously. "Well, I was thinking, for my eighteenth birthday, I would really like to get out of this tower and see the floating stars."

Loki's hands became claws against Thor's scalp. "NO!"


"No buts! We have gone over this millions of times, Thor. Keeping you here is for your own safety. What would your deceased parents say if they found out about your little scheme to endanger yourself?"

Thor bowed his head in shame. Loki sighed and gently drew Thor up to sit in his lap.

"How about another gown?"

Thor retaliated by sinking his teeth into Loki's neck.

Loki stayed for a little over an hour. Thor had finally agreed upon a beautifully decorated crystal dagger crafted by the elves as a birthday present. The trip would take Loki more than three weeks even with his magic. Thor wanted as much time as he could get.

"Promise you will behave yourself while I'm away." Loki stroked Thor's cheek with a smooth cool finger. Thor leaned into the touch and nodded obediently.

Loki sighed, "And never doubt that I love you, pet."

Loki's finger rubbed circles into the nape of Thor's neck and he closed the distance between them and kissed Thor on the forehead. His touch lingered longer this time and Thor felt Loki's mouth hover briefly over his own for a second before the sorcerer pulled sharply away.

When Thor finally mustered the courage to open his eyes again, Loki was gone.

Ten seconds after Loki's departure, Thor remembered the man in his closet. He dashed over to it and threw open the doors.

It was empty.

REVIEW? How was it? I feel a little anxious.