Beginning Note: I had several people request that I write more Gemma/Kartik fics, so here is another very short one. It is set around the second book, right after Christmas. Please read, enjoy, and review! Thanks!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They are owned by Libba Bray. Any mistakes are my own.
Something Worth Loving
She lies in bed, thinking about him. About his thick curly hair, long lashes, and intense brown eyes set under heavy brows. He smells of India and of heartbreak. His kisses that burn like fire. Kisses that are forbidden.
But the forbidden is what makes everything so sweet she supposes.
She turns and stares out her window in to the cold and foggy London night. She was foolish to say the things she had said and now he was gone. She presumes he is in the hidden room in the pub that reminds him of home or with the brotherhood that will treat him like a disposable rag the rest of his life.
She gives an unladylike snort. Some noble calling. What kind of destiny is it to be walked all over until you died or were killed in service? That is something she could never accept. It was why she did not fit into the world she was born into.
She was already changing things with the magic. She would never be powerless again. She would be no doormat for the brothers of the Eastern Star or the Order.
Ann's life is changing already, with each elaborate lie they tell. It makes no difference if no one knows the truth. Everyone is set on believing the illusion because it is what cushions them. The deeper they go, the more real it seems, thanks to the realms' magic.
Even Felicity is happy now that Pippa is with them again in the realms, even if that is an illusion too.
If the illusion is real enough to everyone else, why should it be any different for her?
Why can't she see beyond her father's fondness of disappearing into an opiated stupor, or beyond Thomas's blind ambition, or Grandmama's inability to see how broken they all are?
If everyone can lie to themselves and believe it to be real, why can't she?
She could fix everything. Make her family happy again. She tucks the thought away for later. She might one day be able to unbreak what has already been broken by her mother's death.
Her heart hurts with every beat as she thinks about what she cannot fix with the magic. How she wishes she could turn back time and stop herself from saying the rash things she said.
The warmth that had been in his deep brown eyes had disappeared in an instant and his beautiful full lips tightened into a frown. How she wishes she could have pressed herself against him again and kissed him until his frown vanished and her head spun and her knees went weak. She wishes she could make him come back to her. To see her as something worth loving.
She fiddles with her mother's necklace, her heirloom, and she listens to the sounds of the servants turning in for the night.
Is she something worth loving? She is unsure, this girl stuck between two worlds.
The remnants of the magic pulses in her veins and she clenches her fists tightly, feeling her nails biting into her palms. This magic is hers for a reason. She resolves to find a way to make him come back to her and to find a way to make him stay with her for good.
She will show him she is something worth loving. That she would throw the life she is entitled to away to be with someone as forbidden as the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge.
Ms. Moore had always said there was a choice in everything that they did.
She'd gladly forsake Eden if it meant spending the rest of forever wrapped up in his strong brown arms, finally feeling loved and finally feeling deserving enough to be loved.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed my super short fic! I love Gemma and Kartik. They're adorable together. Please leave me some love!