Disclaimer: I wish I do own it. But sadly, I don't. Ideas are all mine, however.
stories of the dead
Could this be happening?
Katniss brushes the brown locks that falls on her daughter's face as the little one examined The Book. The Book, the one where Peeta had drew every picture of those they had lost and she wrote everything there are for everyone to know. And now, her daughter, who is no older than just a merely eight years old, so innocent, so sweet, is turning the pages on the book. Her blue eyes are skeptical as it observes the drawing of her father's. Her expression very much follows Peeta's.
Katniss has always fear this moment. Hell, even before this moment, she had feared the question other people kept asking her. Are you okay? What type of stupid question is that? Of course she's not okay. She's never going to be okay. Yes, she is happy with where she is right now, satisfied even. But okay? Fine? She is far from that. Whatever she is, she is broken. Especially on Remembrance Day, the day her dearest sister had died. She hates that day. Always does, always will. The day where people would give her these kind of looks like they understand her pain. Did they? 'Cause she doubt any of them have ever witness their only younger wonderful sibling got blasted off by an explosion right in front of their eyes.
But she never speaks of it. Their deaths, all the ones who she had lost, she only spoke it with her husband. And he would always hold her. His grip on her is strong and firm even though he's as broken as she is. He whispers only soothing words to her ears and for a moment, it feels like they are the only ones on earth. She cries sometimes, but he cries a lot more. He never likes crying in front of her, though. So mostly she would pretend to be asleep when he cries himself to sleep at nights. She caught him crying once behind her back, and the sight of him with his face all red and his tears are fresh as it falls down his eyes, it broke her. She was furious though as she grabbed him by his jaw and told him that if they're going to get through this together, just like he had always promised her, they're going to cry together and he had nodded his head, continuing crying on her shoulder while she held her. It was a nice change for once.
Unlike her husband, she mourns in her own way. Sometimes she would disappear in the woods all day or she would lock herself up in her room until nightfall. She tried living for those who they had lost, but it was hard. It's never the same when they're alive. She would never get to see Prim's smiles anymore. She will never get to be amazed by another of Rue's hidden talent. She will never get to hear Finnick's laughter anymore. She will never wear anymore of Cinna's amazing designs. She will never listens to another one of Bogg's orders. She will still be alive, breathing and pretend like it's normal- but it's not. And sometimes, when it is so hard to live for them, she sings. It's slow and only for her to hear, because it's not meant for a show, it's meant for them. She knows it's pathetic. She told her husband of it once, and he grabbed her hand, sternly telling her that it's not pathetic. In fact, it's the most purest way she could ever mourn... and it's fine. Because what Peeta says is always right to her, somehow.
And it made her falls more deeply in love with him than she did before, if that's even possible.
She had always known that a question of are you okay would always tears her apart. Because she aren't, but how is she supposed to explain that to all of them although they might have known it all from the medias? So she doesn't answer. She never does. She always give them these looks and instantly, they would shut up.
But as her eldest turns the page of The Book once more, she knows it's time. It's time to be brave enough and answer any questions that might comes out from their lips. It's time to not shatter and make another scene in front of her children. She had done that a lot, her husband too- made a scene that would scare people half to death if they don't know them well enough in front of their children. But somehow, none of them seems to take it personally. It's like they could understand what their parents have been going through and it's okay, it's fine. Katniss purses her lips together and have to contain herself from bursting into tears. They're way too young to understand the pain she and her husband (and most of the people in Panem) have been going through, but yet they grow up accepting it. Could it be possible for her children to be much more stronger than she ever is?
Her son shifts besides her and his blond curl tickles her side, as his silver eyes concentrates on whatever it is his sister is doing. His concentration follows Peeta's, which amuse Katniss silently.
After so long, the girl looks up to her mother, her blue eyes widening. "Mommy?" Her voice is gentle and sweet, but questioning and wondering, like a child should be. For just an eight-years-old, she seems to know a lot more than she ever intends to. Her brown locks once again falls into her face, but she doesn't bother to push it away. "Can you tell me more about Aunt Prim?"
Just when she thought she would weep or cry, like she had expected she would be, she doesn't. Instead, she takes a deep breath, looks into both her children's small faces and begins to tell the story of the sister she had lost. The Aunt both her children will never get to meet, the Aunt her eldest was named after. She tells them of her smiles, of the moments she could remember as they grow up together, of her cheeky behavior, of what she swears she wouldn't forget while her children stare back in awe. She tells them of all the amazing stories, of how small yet so strong her younger sister is. She tells them of when Prim was alive, and avoid telling them of how she really died.
Then she tells them of Rue and how Katniss is still amazed by all things her. She tells them when she met the small girl and how she had grown to know her, the real her. She tells them of how she met Finnick and his laughter is still ringing in her ears sometimes.
At this, her son's silvery grey eyes lit up, "That's Nicky's dad, right mommy?"
Katniss smiles and bends down to kiss the boy's forehead. She continues on telling of how Finnick had helped her and she had gained her trust on that guy. She tells them how she once bumped into him and he danced while wearing his underwear, and her children laughs. She tells them of when Miss Johanna had called her one day to tell her that Miss Annie's had given birth to Finnick "Nicky" Jr, who is now like a big brother to her children. She tells them of Cinna, oh how wonderful that man truly is, and the things the man do for her. She continues on by saying how she had survived with the help of Cinna's amazing designs. She tells them the man her son's middle name is named after and she couldn't be even more prouder on herself in that moment. She tells them about Boggs' leadership and how his voice is still there in the back of her mind ordering her to keep moving on and never ever gives up. Her children smile and laugh and even cry as she goes through her story, not knowing where it is supposed to end.
It does, however and when she looks down, both of her children stare back at her, gaping, a smile plays on their faces.
Their deaths, all the ones who she had lost, she only spoke it with her husband. But now, as her children bursts into chatters of how amazing the story she had told them a second ago, she could have not been even more glad than she is before. She glances her eyes up as she lets out a breath she never knew she has been holding. Then, she meets her husband's eyes. He's leaning against the doorframe, his blue eyes are staring down at the scene.
"You're home," she breathes, smiling through her words.
Peeta nods, chuckling, "I am."
The girl and the boy both turn to their father and stand up, running towards him. "Papa, papa, you're home! Mommy just told us..."
Katniss smiles when Peeta picks up their son and listen as both of their children attentively retold him the story she just did. Some parts of the story was exaggerated but neither does she nor her husband bother to correct them. Instead, Peeta listens and nods his head, acting as if he's curious and only hears the story for the first time in his life. Katniss couldn't but to laugh softly at her husband's obviously-fake acting. Maybe this is better, she thinks to herself. Maybe this is a better way of mourning over them. She glances at her children, who is still chattering away to their father. By keeping their stories alive.
Just love Peeta and Katniss so much, I couldn't help but to make a one-shot out of them. And I really am in love with how they are with their children. Please, do leave a review if you may.