It was an odd feeling, this Fire in his veins. He could feel It, sizzling inside him, flowing throughout his body in a stream of blood. And then, sometimes, It flickered to life on his skin, a burst of light that responded to his passions. And he hated that fact, that the Fire was keyed to his emotions. Back when he was a Wayland — back before Clary — he was a master at keeping his real feelings in check. No one would know, and sometimes he liked to think he would have been able to fool the Fire, too.
But now he couldn't do anything, and that just made him more pent up and angry. He was angry he couldn't touch Clary without the fear of hurting her (just like in his nightmares); he was angry that he had to be watched all the time, by Jordan or Jocelyn or Mayrse or Alec. Alec, come to think of it, actually wasn't a very good 'chaperone', considering he was always moody and depressed due to his break-up with Magnus (though it was technically his parabatai's fault, not that Jave would ever tell him that.) And he was angry that everyone seemed to be keeping secrets from him, or at the very least not telling him the whole truth — Isabelle, for example, who always seemed to be running errands for her mother, or Clary, who would sometimes look at him with a haunted kind of look in her eyes, and he was terrified of what that could mean. He remembered nearly nothing of what had occurred when he'd been under Sebastian's control, and he worried what had happened to Clary when he was away.
He supposed he should also have been angry at Clary, for forcing him back under Sebastian's power, but he just couldn't bring himself to be. He could never be angry at Clary for doing something that kept him with her. He wasn't even mad she had stabbed him — stabbed him with the judgment of Heaven, injected his veins with the Light of God — because he would so rather be dead and free than living as a dark puppet. And his survival, at least, proved something he many times had doubted of himself: that he was good. He had been appraised by angels, and found good. One couldn't get a too much better assesment than that.
But as he was good, as he belonged to Heaven, he knew Sebastian was a creature indebted to Hell. Had he been stabbed, he would have died. But the son of the Morning Star (Clary's brother, true, but more his than Clary's) was still alive, still plotting, still creating a twisted form of Nephilim. He wondered if Amatis could ever be saved; he wondered how Luke would handle it. They'd never been close, Clary had told him, but it seemed their relationship was improving.
(He wondered how he would handle it. If Amatis fell, the last closest living link to his real father would be lost. Under different circumstances, Amatis might have been his mother. He didn't know what to feel about that.)
He had so many reasons to be angry, so many reasons to hate. And he was. He did. When he thought of Sebastian, he was consumed with a blinding fury that he could hardly control. But he told himself that this was good; he could use this rage. Sebastian wanted to burn down the world? Well, Jace was the one with the fire, burning and boiling in his blood.
Come get me, big brother. And I will show you what it means to burn.
A.N- And so ends my second three-shot featuring Team Evil. I really like this Jace piece better than the last one, in Valentine's Brood. So let me know what you think about it — oh, and I'm debating whether I should change the name. I might even put a poll up for it. Should this stay as Heaven Is Falling, or should I change it to:
a. Heaven Is Falling — Snippets from Team Evil
b. Team Evil
c. Valentine's Creations
Let me know! And (this will make more sense for those who have read TID) do you guys realize that most of the known parabatai pairs have been Carstairs/Herondale? The original, of course, with Jem and Will, then Jem's cousin Cordelia and Will's daughter Lucie. Then we have, in the MI series, Cordelia Carstairs' descendant, Jace, and Cecily Herondale's descendant, Alec. And finally, in the DA series, we have the descendant of Allistair Carstairs, Emma Carstairs, with Julian Blackthorn, the Blackthorns (presumably) being descended from Lucie Blackthorn neé Herondale. Bam!