DISCLAIMER: I do not own
A/N: A huge thanks goes to all my faithful readers
The Doctor, a weary soldier, was still fighting a war, his own war. Inspecting his arm he felt a fistful of emotion bundle up within him. It was a shameful, and weak thing that he had done in his wife's lack of presence in his life. He trailed his fingers along the thick, and plentiful scarring on his arms. It was a sickening sight that terrified the hell out of him.
The usual destructive pattern that had taken hold of his life from his very first breath had taken a turn. It was now himself taking on the wrath of everything dark, and cold within him. The scars would forever remain on his body, until he regenerated, until he died. He wondered how close he had come to death from slitting his wrists with that rusting blade.
What truly scared him was the fact that he had been ready to die. Without the Ponds, and River in his life, things had started slipping out of his control, and now River and the Ponds were back, he didn't know what to do, or how to react.
What did they see him as now?
He had buckled under his own emotional pain, and had done such a classic human thing to do. He had forced more pain onto himself, and had watched as the emotional pain he felt for losing his second family had dwindled away into a big, black box. He had locked all those emotions away, imprisoning them for eternity. Seeing River, Rory and Amy again had opened up that box of terrors, and his mind was struggling to cope with immensity of the whole situation.
River was alive, and her parents seemed to have forgiven him without any protests. That was brilliant! It truly was _ but those emotions that he'd felt with there absence were still there, scratching beneath his surface, uncoiling from the dark areas of his hearts. That pain was still as real as it had been when he has started cutting into his arms, but at the same time, that pain, that torture, that hurt, it all felt so fake. He still felt grief ridden, though he knew that was simply ridiculous. River was waiting outside his room, she wasn't dead to the universe anymore, and yet he still felt as though in a way he had lost her.
He began scratching at his arm, subconsciously at first, but when he noticed what he was doing, he couldn't stop. He scratched at the scars so vigorously the fresher ones began to bleed. He knew that this was wrong, but he couldn't stop this. Part of himself wanted to punish him for all the wrong he has ever done, because surely if that pain within him was there, it was there fro a reason. He had caused the root of his pain.
" Stop." The command was spoken so softly it took him a moment for him to realize someone had spoken in the first place. He jerked his eyes from where he was scratching his arm, and found himself staring at his wife. He swallowed guiltily, and felt himself starting to tear up, "River _I _" His voice was weak from misuse, his throat burning as a ball of hot tears began to form in his throat. He quickly covered his now bleeding scars, " I'm _ I'm sorry." He found, much to his embarrassment, he was now sobbing. He felt so feeble, laid out on a bed, and crying like a child, in front of the woman who he loved none the less.
" Shh Sweetie. " Rivers arms were around him, pulling him against her. He shuddered at the intimate contact of the hug. Her hands were rubbing soothing patterns along his spine, and she was singing. It was a Gallifreyan lullaby that he had taught her on there wedding night. Her voice washed over him, and his tears subsided. He found himself lost in the swirling Gallifreyan words. After a while his body fell slack against her. She ran her delicate fingers through his hair and a placed a kiss upon his forehead, "Better?" She asked him, concern dripping into her voice.
He took a shaky breath, but just about managed to flash a smile at his wife, " You're here. You're really here!" He choked, sniffing her hair, and taking in that fantastic aroma that belonged to River, " For a moment I thought that _" He shook his head, " Never mind. Doesn't matter. Just being silly I suppose."
" Thought that I was what?" River questioned him in that beautifully alluring voice of hers.
" I thought that maybe I'd gone mad. I didn't think it was possible for you to be alive. I saw you die River _ how? _ I mean _ You're amazing. You, River Song, never fail to surprise me." He raised a hand and pulled at one of her springy golden curls, " You really are amazing though River."
River laughed, " I better be." She whispered , crawling by his side on the medical cot.
He looked at her, shock racing through his system, " River, how?" He asked her.
" I've been talking to the TARDIS. " River told him, she looked a little edgy, " She was able to save me from the library core. She won't tell me how she did it, or why. She said that we're not ready to know that yet, and that only when our final battle occurs will we be able to understand. I like to think she's getting sentimental in her old age and was missing me, but I think one of the biggest factors was you." She curled up against him.
" Me?" He asked, completely befuddled.
" She cares about you, you know?" She lifted his arm up, and placed her cool hand over his bleeding cuts," I think she was concerned that you'd do something even more foolish than you were already doing to yourself" River's eyes shined with the promise of tears, " I'm glad she saved me. If I hadn't have come then _ It might have been too late." One tear spilled from her eyes.
" Hey, don't cry. River, look at me. I'm fine." He caught the tear underneath his thumb.
" I heard you talking to dad earlier. You're not fine Doctor. But you had one thing wrong." She looked at him long and hard.
He gulped, " What's that?" He asked her.
" You're not a lonely God, because you're not alone. You've got me, and Rory, and Amy. We're not going anywhere any time soon. I can't promise you everything will get better over night, but my love, what I can promise you is that we're going to help you through it." A few more tears rose within her golden eyes.
His hearts thudded painstakingly loud as she tilted her head, and crashed her lips onto his. After years of being apart he and River had a lot of lost time to make up for. The kiss was just enough to tell him the truth within her words. He was no longer alone.
" Erm, is now a bad time." Rory interrupted, standing in the doorway in an awkward demeanour, blushing, and glancing down at the floor.
The Doctor pulled back and chuckled, " Nope. Come on in Pond." A minute later Amy cautiously crept in too, " Ah, Pond number two, welcome." He grinned a little giddily.
" Doctor _ Your arm_" Rory looked on in shock.
" It's nothing. It'll heal Rory." The Doctor assured the worrying nurse.
The nurse rolled his eyes, and pulled some antibacterial cream and a bandage out of a drawer, before proceeding to dress The Doctor's bleeding arm.
" Thank you Rory." The Doctor smiled appreciatively. Glancing up at the nervous looking Amy, he let out a low sigh, " I'm sorry that I snapped at you." He apologized. It seemed that's all Amy needed to get back to her old, confident self. She rushed forwards and hugged him, almost crushing River in the process.
" Mother." River squeaked.
Amy pulled away, and smirked, " Didn't take you long to start playing tonsil tennis with my daughter mister!" She said playfully, pointing at him, and narrowing her eyes.
" Amelia!" He exclaimed in shock, flabbergasted at use of the primitive term for kissing.
She laughed lightly, " Relax raggedy man, only messing."
Rory was, by now, a deep purple, " It's good to see things are back to being as normal as they ever were." He mumbled.
The Doctor laughed along with the others, though secretly, he was thinking. His thoughts of the past few years travelling alone paraded down on him.
Would things really go back to normal?
Please leave a review x
I'm planning on writing lots of Pond family moments. So if there was anything you would have liked to see on the show that we didn't, let me know, and I'll try and put them into this fic.