Hi all, the name's Aquariane ;) So umm, I got this idea a while back while I was listening to some music on my iPod and finally decided to write it. This story is inspired by the song Secondhand by Cassadee Pope, but I'll be adding my own twist and such to it. It's an all human Alice/Bella story so if you aren't comfortable with that I suggest you try reading something else.
I'm also going to include song lyrics (they may be altered a tiny little bit, such as replacing 'he' with 'she') and quotes that will go with each chapter to help people relate to the situation, it might help if you read the chapter while listening to the song. Hope you enjoy it :)
Disclaimer: I never have and never will own Twilight. It belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Nor do I own the rights to the song Secondhand, they belong to Cassadee Pope and her record label, I'm simply using it as inspiration.
I know that look, I know those eyes
He broke you down again, I'm not surprised
Every time you show up here again
Hands in your pocket, heart on your sleeve
Telling me all about what you need
Lean in close, well I'll take what I can get
I breathe you in, breathe you in, like my first cigarette
Breathe you out, breathe you out, turning off the regret
Don't worry baby cause it's all my fault
I'll take the parts that he doesn't want
I breathe you in, breathe you in, take the spark with the smoke
Breathe you out, breathe you out, feel the rush as I choke
I know it's worth it baby even if it's just secondhand, secondhand love
-'Secondhand' by Cassadee Pope-
The sound of heavy rainfall was the only thing keeping me company as I stood beside the kitchen sink, washing and drying the last few dishes. My body was aching. Work had been tiring. My boss wanted a bunch of new designs in by Friday and while I loved fashion, it was a real pain in the ass sometimes. As I dried the last one and placed it back away, I chanced a look at the clock.
10:30. It was that time again. I gave a quiet sigh as I moved to my room and grabbed a change of clothes - a loose fitting T-shirt and sweatpants - and a towel. Knowing her she wouldn't have thought about taking a jacket or umbrella. And knowing him he wouldn't have bothered to even drive her home. I let my teeth grind together and felt my hands curl up into fists by my side and I had to refrain myself from hitting something.
Why couldn't she see that he was a selfish bastard who didn't deserve someone like her?
I bit my lip. It was a question I had asked myself over and over again, and one to which I already knew the answer. She loved him.
No, she thought she loved him, and that he loved her. She was the kind of person who wore her heart on her sleeve. She gave him everything and everyone but her knew that he would never give anything back. Ever.
I went back into the kitchen and busied myself with starting to make some hot chocolate, making sure to add some extra marshmallows. She loved it like that. I smiled softly as I remember our high school days – when our lives were less complicated and we could just be. Back when-
The sound of my doorbell ringing brought me out of my thoughts. Making me way over to the door I hesitated as my hand gripped the doorknob. She would be a wreck; of that I was certain. The trouble was, I wasn't sure if I could stand to see her like that. Not again. But I knew she needed right now. Giving a small, resigned sigh, I opened the door.
She was barely standing. Her clothes were soaked through, her chestnut hair was a mess and stuck to her face and her mascara had smudged all over her face. She was shivering uncontrollably. Her lower lip trembled when she saw me and I fought back the nearly overwhelming urge to cry.
I didn't ask her what had happened – I already knew that. I simply let her in, pulling her shaking body against mine as she buried her face in my shoulder.
She clung to my body as I led her over to my room, sobbing the whole time. I rubbed my hand over her back soothingly, trying to get her to calm down as I got her changed from her clothes into mine. As I took her shirt off, my hands lingered on her bare skin for a moment too long, and I was suddenly overtaken by the longing that I had been trying so hard to supress. My heart ached. I wanted to kiss her, take away all her worries, her fears. I wanted to call her mine. I wanted to be able to tell her I loved her and to be able to hear her say it back.
But I couldn't. Not now. Not ever.
I snapped myself out of my daze and finished changing her, throwing her clothes into the laundry. I hurried to the kitchen and back and gave her the mug of steaming hot chocolate which she took gratefully. After she finished, I lightly lightly dried her hair with the towel and washed off the smudged makeup from her beautiful face. Then I let her lie next to me on the bed, my petite body spooning her larger one.
I knew I shouldn't like this, but I couldn't help it. She was so close, so warm. I let my arm make its way around her waist. She froze at first, but then a small smile overtook her face as she looked at me.
"Thanks Ali," she whispered, "you really are the best friend ever. I love you."
It was ironic, really. Just fifteen minutes ago I had been hoping for this very thing but now my heart felt like it had been ripped from body, torn up and then burnt to ashes. My throat felt tight, and I felt as if I was suddenly being strangled. She loved me. But she wasn't in love with me. And she never would be.
"I love you too, Bella," I choked out, managing to force a smile.
On any other day Bella would have noticed that something was wrong. She would tell me that even though I was smiling, it didn't reach my eyes. But today she just gave a small kiss to my cheek and lay down, resting her head on the pillow. Within a few minutes her breathing had turned even and she was fast asleep.
My cheek was hot. Not just hot, the place her lips had touched my skin was on fire. I brought a hand up to my face and felt a sudden tingling sensation. I glanced down at her face, allowing my gaze to fall over her eyes, her nose and then her lovely, soft lips. She looked so innocent, so peaceful. Pushing a stray strand of hair away from her face I gently brought my lips to her temple.
"I love you so much, my sweet Bella."
Then I wrapped the duvet around our bodies, buried my nose in her soft hair and allowed myself to fall asleep to the rhythmic beating of her heart.
A heart that would never belong to me.
So, I assume most people will have realised that the story is in Alice's POV and will probably remain like that. Also, this is and angst story, so that's why Alice isn't her usual, peppy self. Well, she can be, but right now she isn't… Anyway, I know it was pretty short, but I truly felt that this was the best place to end. This is a sort of prologue anyway. You'll also be able to find out more about their circumstances and such.The next will probably be longer, but not by much. As a writer I prefer to write short chapters rather than long ones. I'll update as often as I can, though I make no promises.
As a final note, what did you guys think of it? Please leave your thoughts and suggestions in a review – it helps me develop as a writer as well as gives me a reason to write more ;)
Until next time,