***THIS IS A JOKE***

Once upon a time, in a mystical place called Aperature Laboratories, GLaDoS- that big ass robot that is turned in a potato and shit- was sitting in her room looking at the test subject's profiles. FOR SOME REASON she found a body of a person called "Whetly Merchant" or "Stephen Whotly" or even "Whatly Pendleton" or maybe "Arthur Weasley" or something because he doesn't have a surname and no one knows if Whotie is a name or surname so fuck it just pick a name and make it your headcannon no one gives a shit anyway.

She started to tease the metal ball in space and somehow she got him out of there. And the Space Sphere came together or not but who cares about him- he's annoying as shit and he's not important for the story anyway because he'll dissapear in the later chapters. So GlAdOs starts telling him about how he was a human before and as a punishment or something else she puts him in a human body. GLADOS then somehow manages to put his databank on a human brain and that is actually impossible but who cares this is portal and portal doesn't need to make sense RIGHT?

When he wakes up there's this all OH EM EFF GEE I HAVE ARMS AND LEGS AND HANDS AND EYES AND A DICK AND FINGERS AND MOUTH AND I'M SO BLOODY HOT DERP yadda yadda scene, and then there's this scene where he doesn't know how to walk or open his mouth and the fangirls go "awn" all over him. Then glados kicks him out of the facility and let him explore the humanity by himself. She seems to have completely forgetting that she had to punish the moron not fucking throw him out into the civilization without tracking him or anything or maybe she's just too OOC to know that.

And then he gets all his memories back all of sudden, and Hatly finds out he was the head leader of the GLODIS project and then he's like OH EM EFF GEEEEE IM SO SMART and then he walks into the city happy with life because he wasn't a moron anymore.

Then he does some silly shit that makes the fangirls shriek and yell "I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU EMBARRASING YOURSELF" and then suddenly he bumps into a slightly-tanned-grey-eyed-skinny-as-shit-but-still-fat-wearing-apertur-jumpsuit-and-with-hair-stuck-in-a-ponytail person and then there's this scene where he doesn't recognize her but she does even if she haven't saw him in human form in all her life but then the author comes with the excuse that's because of the sexay britishh accent. Whotlo starts saying more silly shit and rambling about how the sky is blue and how the clouds are white and how the grass is green and then she starts to cry because all of sudden he starts talking about her and then she runs away screaming and flipping her shit and he's like "WAIIIIITTTTTTTT" running after her.

He never catches up with her so he just don't gives a shit and then walks away. After a while he's living on a house and he has a important job like SCIENCE TEACHER because he was a scientist and he's smart lol

He goes to a class one day and HE FINDS HER AGAIN

OH EM GEE CLIFFHANGER REVIEW LIKE FAVORITE ALERT SUBSCRIBE PL0X IF I RECIEVE 100000 REVIEWS I'LL WRITE MORE!

***REMEMBER THAT THIS IS A JOKE***