Forgive me, I accidentally uploaded an incomplete version of this, here is the full version.
This is an older story of mine that I found and wanted to post on Fanfiction, Tee-Hee!
One sunny day in Hyrule in outskirts of the Eldin province there lays a village by the name of Kakiriko…
"Hey! Hey Renaldo" Link shouted as he hoisted a cuckoo above his head. The cuckoo clucking and flapping in protest pecked Link in the eye.
"Argh!" Link yelled in that signature scream of his. "It hurts get it out, GET IT OUT!"
For once the cuckoo listens and releases its grip on Link's head .Unfortunately it then flew straight into Renaldo, knocking him over into the fence he was fixing. The fence turned out to be holding in a herd of very angry boars. The boars, happy to have an escape route stampeded right of Renaldo and into the distance.
Meanwhile Link had avoided the stampede and was now skipping joyfully across Hyrule Field. In his little happy land Link was oblivious to the nearing mud puddle…
"Argh!" Link screamed (yet again) in his signature scream."My leotards! They're all dirty."
Out of nowhere a red chu-chu appears.
"Billy-Bob!" Link exclaimed, "You came back for me!"
Narrator hops into the now frozen scene.
"In previous experiences, Link and Billy-Bob the chu-chu have had many great adventures. These included, rescuing Colin, a young boy from Link's hometown of Ordon, from the bokoblins in the forest. Saving princess Zelda and vanquishing the evil stalker, Lord Ghirahim!"
Sadly, Billy-Bob died at the hands of Ghirahim.
"Wait a minute," Link shouts as the truth finally dawns on him, "I'm a fairy!" And he magically teleports to Tingle's Rosy Rupee Land.
While walking through the flower selection Link bumps into a small figure crouching over to examine the Ordon flower.
"Oh my god, I am so sorry!" Link exclaims. The figure turns around and licks his lips.
"Ahh!" Link screams, "Ghirahim! What colour of lipstick are you wearing today?"
"Purple!" Ghirahim answered with pride, "I got it from the built-in lip-gloss dispenser in my tongue.
Link paused thoughtfully, "So that's why you always lick your lips." Link cried in delight. Ghirahim checks his watch.
"Oh no, I'm going to be late for my evil laugh! . . . Ho-Ho-Ha-Wa-Ho!" Ghirahim laughs evilly.
"I will destroy all of Hyrule! Bwa-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!"
Ganondorf appears magically in a puff of pink and yellow daises!
Link glances at Ganondorf, unsure how to approach. . .
"Uh . . . Ganon, I . . . like your uh . . . outfit."
Ganondorf glances down, uncertain what to expect.
"Ayrgh!" he screamed in his signature bellow. "What kind of a sad little bobokin did this to me!" he shouted in despair. "My tutu, it's not supposed to be blue, it's supposed to be pink!"
Just as randomly as before, Link magically teleports out of Tingles Freshly picked Rosey Rupee land and into the entrance of Castletown.
Link tilted his head in confusion as he reads the giant flashing billboard. "Castletown? I thought this was Donut City!" Link shrugs. "Oh well." And he
frolics down to Malo Mart.
Meanwhile, in Malo mart there was a big commotion. Agitha had arrived and was now asking every one in sight if they had seen her boyfriend-a male pillbug.
"Excuse me Sir, have you seen my boyfriend? He's about two inches tall and three across. If you find him please let me know."
Narrator jumps back into the scene. He is wearing a purple tutu, a green body suit and is dancing in circles like the little girl he is.
"Oh", he said in embarrassment. "You weren't supposed to see dat".
The narrator pulls a cue card from his back pocket and starts reading what is written.
"Agitha is a young girl around nine years of age. She lives by herself in a small house in the back of Castletown." Narrator shrugs shoulders. "She thinks that she is having a ball. . . A ball for bugs. . ."
Meanwhile, Link was having a shopping spree. A shopping spree at Malo Mart.
"Yay!" Link shouted in glee as he bought yet another useless bunch of arrows. "You bought it cuz your smart! You bought it at Malo Mart!"
A Goron elder shouts loudly. There are two Goron elders in Kakiriko's Malo Mart. They cheer on Link whenever he buys something.
Narrator is suddenly in the scene. He has arrived in a poof of roses.
"Wow," the narrator says, "I feel real sorry for those Gorons. They probably thought it was a good idea to take this job. Unfortunately, Link-the-all-crazy is the only shopper at the store. His normal shopping list: 20 packs of arrows (200), 5 bomblings, 1 useless wooden shield – I mean who needs three shields? And 5 bottles of red potion." As usual the narrator magically disappears.
By now Link has finally finished his shopping and is blowing a piece of horse-call-grass. Sadly he has had no practice with it and does not know how to use it.
Two hours later…
'Oh my goodness!" Link exclaimed. "I'm turning purple! " Hmm… , Link thought in despair, maybe I should go and ask Zelda at the castle! Link hops on his horse Epona (who has now finally come to him)s back.
"Giddy-up horsey," Linkshouts, "Take me to the castle."
So they gallop off into the distance.
Unfortunately, Link forgets why he is going to the Castle. When he gets there he has convinced himself that he is going to blow it up. Link expertly equips his Hero's bow with some of the bomb arrows and Kapow. There is now a hole blown straight into the castle's wall… Twang! There flies another…Boom! By now the Castle is as good as destroyed.
Link brushes off his leotards and screams in his-the crow cuts in and shouts, "signature scream!"
"There's a hold in my tights!" Link yells in despair. "How am I going to fix this?"
"Well," said the mail man, (who, like most people, has randomly appeared), "You could get Ghiraham to fix them. He may be the best stalker ever, but he's also the best at sewing too!"
The day finally ends. Link is passed out on the floor in despair and Ghiraham is fixing Link's tights.
I know it's not my usual work, it's old, but I wanted to put it up here. So. . . That's about it!