Truth in Lies
Summary: Barney tells outrageous stories to pick-up women, but are they all lies? (Allusion to prior NPH role).
Disclaimer: This story was written for my own amusement and hopefully the enjoyment of others. I am not connected with the owners or copyright holders of any of the characters.
Ted walked in to MacLaren's Pub. He saw Barney at the bar hitting on some Blonde, she looked like a ten. "Respect," he thought to himself. Ted noticed that Lily and Marshall were sharing a burger in the booth and Robin was just watching Barney with a look that Ted couldn't even begin to describe and really didn't want to try to either.
As Ted walked by Barney, he couldn't help but listen to Barney's latest attempt at seduction. His stories, his lies, were always so entertaining. Clearly, whatever play Barney was using tonight was already in progress.
"How did you get so rich?" Blondie asked Barney eagerly.
"Well, I was something of a child prodigy and graduated medical school at fourteen. Since I was so young and still living with my parents, I was able to put all of my earnings in the stock market and, well, it was the 80's," Barney told the clearly dumb, gullible blonde, with a self-deprecating smile and a small shrug.
"Wow, that is so totally cool," she told him with wide-eyed admiration in a way that made Ted want to throw-up in his mouth. "What kind of doctor are you?"
"Well, I am pretty much retired now. Living off my fortune, but I was a Gynecologist," Barney finished the line by appearing to look her over with the air of a professional.
Ted couldn't take any more of the conversation and continued to walk over to the booth. He sat down with the others in time to watch Barney hand the girl a card, which he guessed probably said "Barney Stinson, M.D."
Barney walked over and pulled a chair up to the booth and sat with them.
"You let one get away?" Robin asked disbelievingly.
"Nah, I wasn't trolling for tonight, just padding my cache of bimbos for later," Barney explained.
"So what story did you tell this time?" Marshall asked with anticipation.
"Rich, child prodigy, gynecologist." Barney spoke in an off-handed tone.
"I don't remember that play," Marshall stated slightly confused, but mostly amused. "It's a new one, isn't it?"
"More of an old favorite," Barney smiled.
Ted just shook his head and chuckled, "sometimes Barney I don't know how you come-up with such outrageous lies."
"You really, really, should be ashamed of yourself," Lily added.
Barney glanced at Marshall, who was apparently still snickering at the idea of Barney as a Gynecologist.
"Well, you know what they say, the best lies have a grain of truth," Barney smiled enigmatically at the group.
"Grain of truth?" Robin snorted, "You? A gynecologist." She snorted again, "yeah, right."
"Well, if anyone knows the female anatomy, it would be Barney. . . " Marshall interjected.
Ted continued to shake his head.
Barney started to respond, but his phone rang a moment later. Barney glanced down at his phone and smiled, one of his rare genuine smiles, when he saw the name on the display. He stood up abruptly, "later guys". He answered his phone as he started to walk away from the table, apparently happy. "Hey!" After a pause he continued, "Sure if you are going to be in New York I would love to get together."
The gang all assumed Barney was setting up another date at this point in the conversation, but they never heard the rest as he continued to walk out of the bar.
"Absolutely, you'll stay with me. There is a great place here, Vinnie, you'll love it. It is called the Lusty Leopard. Just don't tell Janine."
Author's Notes: 1) Musicat had this story idea posted in her profile and I decided to run with it. "An How I Met Your Mother one shot of Barney Stinson trying to pick up woman by telling them he is a child prodigy who was able to amass large sums of money by practising medicine while living at home with his parents. Bonus points if you make Doogie a gynecologist."
2) Thank you for the help and advice of my brother, penname "Karl Skywalker" with this story.
This is a new fandom for me and one of the few things I have written in the last few years, I hope that someone enjoyed it.