For Ninja Sheik; here's one for the fan club! Maybe…(sigh) How do I even get a registration for that thing!

For Ocean Eve; you're flippin' great! But so is my cat, so you're second place. Sorry.

.,.,.,.,.,.,.

When I lay my head down to go to sleep at night.

My dreams conceive of things that make you want to hide.

Don't lock me in your tower.

Show me your magic powers.

I'm not afraid to face a little bit of danger, danger!

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

Wake up…

Something was above him, lulling him from the dark prison, filling his stiff limbs with life. It was warm and wanting, but very unfamiliar and unclear.

Come on Orochi, wake up…

The calling gave him the potency to open his eyes. There was light everywhere, but there was something blocking the direct source of it. He had to blink several times in order for his eyes to fully adjust to the unfamiliar surroundings. With each flex of his eyelids, the person above him became ever so slightly clearer.

The hair was a purplish hue, glowing intensely due to the light. Glistening under the beautiful locks was a well-sculpted face, no doubly that of a woman. Her eyes were smiling, as was her mouth, and even the hands that were caressing his face.

His weak hands extended out to grasp the one's touching him, the intention of breaking them along with the person they belonged to.

"Whoa! Easy tiger, save that for tonight!"

Orochimaru's senses went into hyper-drive at the recognizable tone in the woman's voice. The hazy aspects of the mystery woman suddenly became vibrant.

"…Anko?"

The woman grinned, signifying a correct answer. "Morning babe." She leant down and kissed him on the lips, feeling a violent lurch from him as he shot up and pressed himself into the headboard.

He franticly searched over his surroundings. Other than the woman clad only in black bathrobe, there was an orange room glowing fire due to the sunlight of the open window that set in a warm spring breeze. The sheets that had slipped off of Orochimaru's bare chest were also a charming color of rose red. This was not the cold, gray lab he had been in just moments before.

Anko chuckled at her bed-mates frigidness as she slowly tossed her leg over his hip and sliding up to his waist and placing her hands on his twitching shoulders. "You…all right?" she purred as she leant down to gently caress her lips with her own.

Orochimaru's hands shot forward, throwing Anko off of him. He stared at the heap on the floor for a few seconds before throwing the covers off and stalking to the window to throw the curtains open. His eyes searched the bright, flowery scenery around him for something that would ease his racing mind. But there was no mistaking where the four faces carved artistically in the overhanging mountainside where located.

He was in Konoha. He was in his former home-land inside his ex-students bedroom and was totally and utterly screwed.

Anko slammed her hand on the dresser she had used to hoist herself up with. "Here's a dumb question: What the Hell is your problem!"

Orochimaru scowled at her defiance and approached her rapidly, grabbing her arms and shaking the answers to his questions out of her. "You have one second to tell me what the Hell I'm doing here or so help me Anko I will-" he stopped shaking her to examine the golden band attached on his ring finger. He grabbed Anko's hand and discovered that she was wearing one just like it. He enhanced his glare on her. "What kind of sick joke is this?"

Anko snatched her hand from his grip and hurled her fist into his jaw, knocking him into the dresser where several objects crashed with him.

He was utterly shocked, and just the slightest bit afraid. "Okay no need to panic, I'm just in Konoha with my apparently psycho ex-apprentice who looks, sexy and ready to kill me…wait what?"

Anko used her foot to push Orochimaru on his back, pressing into his chest just over the heart. "Firstly, get a fucking grip, and secondly, if you ever put your hands on me like that again, I'm going castrate you and mantle your penis on the wall, got it?"

Orochimaru rolled away from her, taking her threat to heart and keeping his hands to his self as he stood. He looked around again at the room and the irritated woman glaring at him. Maybe he was under some wacky genjutsu? He racked his brain for plausible explanations, but his memory was scrambled.

A knock at the door sent a wave of uneasiness to both parties.

"Mom, Dad, get out here before we're late!" an overexcited voice called. It sounded a lot like a softer Anko.

Orochimaru looked at Anko in shock. "You have a child?"

Anko slapped him across the chest with her bathrobe before unwrinkling

the silk material as she searched for a less risqué outfit.

"What's all this "you" crap? She's your daughter too! They both are!"

"Both…mine…what?"

"Mommy! Daddy! Gotta go!" a slightly peppier voice rang. There was an alliance of giggles and then silence.

That was it; he had to get out of there before he completely lost his mind.

He jumped up and threw the door open, immediately being attacked by a vicious creature with a banshee-like wail.

"Good morning Daddy!" the little monster greeted him with a grin full of sharp, bloody fangs! It dug it's sharp, blistering claws into Orochimaru's leg, shrugging at it, trying to rip it off!

Okay…a bit of over exaggeration on his part. The creature was actually a little girl, an ADORABLE little girl at that. She hugged his leg as if it were a stuffed toy, as if she was familiar with him. Her teeth were red, but not from glistening blood.

"Mai, what have I told you about eating candy in the morning?" Anko warned as she gently pulled the four year old off of her defensive father. Something was up with him and she was not about to let her children step into the fire of it.

"But it was right there; and I was SO hungry!" The little girl explained, smirking devilishly.

A door slammed and an older version of the child appeared, her hair was a black, waist-long waterfall compared to "Mai's" mass of dark black-purple spikes she had for hair. She was carrying two differently wrapped bento boxes, smiling brightly. "Here's your lunch Mai."

The spiky-hair youth beamed. "My box! My box!" she grabbed the box coated in pink and yellow butterflies and hugged tightly.

The tall one smiled along and proceeded to pass out the other, flashing the brightest smile her mouth could muster when she came up to Orochimaru. "Here you go Dad!"

Orochimaru felt like fainting. "This is too bizarre…"

What the Hell was going on? Who were these girls that were calling him "Daddy!"? Why was he in Konoha with Anko, the one girl in the world who hated him more than every person in the village combined, with a wedding band on his finger and two possible children who were starring at him like he was losing his mind? More importantly, why was his ass so darn sore?

He fell back on the couch, holding his head.

"Open wide."

Orochimaru looked up just in time to see Anko shove a thermometer in his mouth. He immediately spat it out, glaring at the woman frowning at him. "I am not a child!"

"Then quit acting like one in front of some!" Anko snarled between clenched teeth.

Orochimaru shot up and grabbed Anko's shoulder. "I don't know what kind of joke you and those bastards over there are trying to pull, but when I shake it out of you, I'm going to break their necks before I break yours! Got it?"

The oldest of the two girl's grabbed the little one and pulled her far back, her eyes wide and confused.

Anko's eyes burned with fire. He could threaten her all he wanted, but when it came to her girls, she was damn "Anko the Mama Bear!"

With barely any movement, she grabbed Orochimaru's arm, turned her back on him and flipped him over her shoulder where he landed into the glass coffee table.

He could make out a faint shriek from one of the girls as his spinning head slowed down. Anko was staring, no, fuming, down at him. She grabbed a fistful of his flawless hair and yanked his wide eyes up to her blood ones. She lifted her gaze only a moment to direct the oldest of her daughters, "October, get Mai out of her and call ANBU! Tell them I'm about to kill your father and mantle his throat!"

"What's mantle mean?" Little Mai whispered. October ushered her out the door. "Not now Mai; Mom's P-to-the-O."

The room became still when the girls left.

Orochimaru's head was spinning and he saw black clouds begin to form out of the corners of his eyes. This wasn't right. He should have been able to fight off such a puny attack, be back on his feet in a second. Somehow though, his inhuman strength was gone. He couldn't feel his dark power coursing through his veins or even think of a jutsu to cast. He fell deeper into the darkness with only his irate to keep him going just a moment longer.

Anko's glare suddenly hovered over him. She was utterly beautiful in red.

"You're dead when you wake up."

The darkness eloped him, but out of habit, he had to have the last word in. "Same to you…"

.,.,.,.,.

"I can't explain it in the least. He was fine last night but this morning he woke up like an escape psycho patient."

Orochimaru's head was swimming as the soft muttering of voices brought him back into reality. It took him several painful blinks to adjust to the angry lights hovering above his head. He turned away and discovered gray walls and starchy white sheets. He smirked.

"It was all a dream, just a short-lived, exhausting dream…"

The door opened and to add to his relief, Kabuto enter.

"Oh, glad to see you're awake Mr. Orochimaru."

Orochimaru frowned at the new title. "Enough with the crap Kabuto. You know how to address me."

Kabuto quirked an eyebrow at him in question. "Um…I suppose. Any way, other than the scratches your blood pressure is a bit high, so I'd suggest a little less activity on your part." he smirked eerily, "All activity."

Orochimaru sucked in his breath.

Kabuto laughed. "Sorry sir, I've been saving that one for the right time. Your wife thought it was funny."

Orochimaru now twitched, glaring daggers at his medical nin. "That woman," he snarled with malice as he threw the covers off of his legs, "is not my wife. You know that, so stop playing this pathetic game!"

"Um.." Kabuto glanced down at his clipboard, reading Orochimaru's diagnosis.

"Damn, what happened to us? We were studying blood samples and then suddenly I wake up in Anko's apartment where all kinds of other-why are you staring at me like that boy?"

"I um…don't…Tsunade!"

"Kabuto!" Orochimaru clawed at him.

Kabuto lunged the clipboard at him, barely missing. "Lady Tsunade you're needed in here right now!" Kabuto called as he used the door as a barrier between him and the angry Snake Sannin.

Orochimaru stood to chase the idiot boy for answers and explanations but was instantly brought down by a searing pain in his head. "Damn you Anko!"

"Language please."

Orochimaru lifted his eyes to see his former comrade Tsunade enter in normal attire.

He smirked. "Long time no see."

She shrugged as she looked at the clip Kabuto had disregarded and smirked at its contents. "Looks like you've finally snapped!"

Orochimaru rolled his eyes. "Enjoy the sight while it lasts. I'll be out of here in no time, and I'll be sure that you are one of the first I slaughter when I come back to drown this miserable village."

Tsunade cringed at those words, frowning at him. "That's a dark joke, even for you."

"It's more of a promise, dearie."

Tsunade was ready to retort again when the sound of quarreling echoed into the space less hospital room.

"What caused your argument?"

"Oh like you don't know! Forget this, I want to check on my husband!"

Anko burst through the door, now clothed in black shorts and a tight mesh shirt, and, much to Orochimaru's horror, Hiruzen Sarutobi trailed in behind her.

"What…"

"Anko, please, this is a hospital." Hiruzen instructed.

Anko flopped down on a stool at the end of the room, away from everyone. "Who am I going to bother, the morgue inhabitants?"

Hiruzen sighed and turned a more gentle look to the pale Orochimaru. "So, how are you?"

"What the fuck are you doing alive? I killed you!"

Hiruzen's pipe stopped mid-smoke. Tsunade flinched from her comrades brutal 'jokes'. Anko only rolled her eyes.

"Tsunade…"

"He's suffering from some sort of head injury, we believe at least. Everything looks normal so that's about all we can conclude."

"Alright, I have had enough of this!" Orochimaru exclaimed. "You've caught me, you win, but drop the damn charade already!"

The inhabitants of the room stared at him oddly

"Want me to knock him out?" Tsunade whispered.

Hiruzen shook his head and stepped forward. "And what charade is this, Orochimaru?"

"If I weren't so weak, I'd kill you again. You," he looked toward Tsunade's direction, "and every other moron I've seen today is trying to make me think I've lost my mind. You're suppose to be dead, I killed you four months ago," he looked at Tsunade again, "And she's suppose to be the new Hokage."

"I kind of like this tale of his." Tsunade grinned at Hiruzen.

Orochimaru turned to Anko who was sitting quietly with her knees to her chest. "And she even went a step ahead of all of you. She planted me in her bed and tried to seduce me into thinking that the two bastards she has are mine."

"Hey!" Tsunade burst in, "I helped bring those girls into the world. Only your kids could be born with hair dark as theirs."

Orochimaru was ready to retort when a hand slapped down on his shoulder. He looked up and caught Anko's furious gaze, readying himself for whatever hit she was going to give him. Instead, she leant down until their faces matched up.

"You are Orochimaru, top scientist in all of Konoha, expert Jōnin and squad leader, October's and Mai's father," she ran an affectionate hand over his cheek, "and my husband."

Orochimaru pulled away. Those words sunk in slowly, causing no effect but bringing forth questions.

"And Kabuto is…?"

"A special medical ninja, apprentice of Tsunade and partner of Shizune. Other than a few hospital visits, you two have no other connections."

Orochimaru rubbed his temples, frustration eating him alive. "That's not true. I am not this person." He looked up and glared at the people watching him. "I am Orochimaru, leader of the sound. I've killed enough people to create three populations for this village alone. I've studied every jutsu I could get my hands on, and used a majority of them. I've turned human beings into monsters-" his head shot up and he turned to Anko, the only key he had to prove to everyone that he knew what he was talking about. He jumped up, ignoring the pain, and grabbed Anko, pulling down the shoulder of her shirt while she yelled at him.

His eyes widened.

The curse mark was gone.

He spun her around and searched the other shoulder in case he was mistaking.

Tsunade grabbed Orochimaru and tossed him on the bed, Anko stepping back to clothe her bare shoulders.

"How?" Orochimaru growled, his attention focused solely on Anko. "How did you remove the cursed seal?"

Anko's angry eyes shook. "Orochimaru, sweetheart-" Tsunade stopped her, shaking her head.

Orochimaru felt sick. What was this? Was he under some powerful genjutsu? It sure as Hell felt like it! Maybe everyone else was under a jutsu and forced to believe that he was one of them. That would at least explain Kabuto's betrayal.

"I don't know what the Hell's going on," Orochimaru seethed, "But somehow, someway, your plot is going to snap, and you will all regret this idiocy."

Anko stepped past Tsunade's safety. She stared at the man she was calling her husband, both sorrow and anger coursing through her. She leant down cautiously, brushing a lock of his night hair away before kissing softly on the temple.

Orochimaru felt a pressure press into his stomach at the feeling of her lips to his flesh.

"Please," she whispered, "Orochi, come back to me."

He watched a bit startled as she pulled away and rushed out of the room, going home to her girls no doubt. Their girls?

Tsunade shook her head and left as well, disgusted.

Hiruzen began to pull the door to a close. "We're keeping you here over night for observation. Behave yourself."

A dense silence pasted now that Orochimaru was alone. He stood and crept to the door, listening for voices. Hearing none, he turned the doorknob. Locked. Brilliant.

He sighed and returned to his bed.

"Alright, perhaps this is all just a horrible nightmare that I will wake up from. Yes, that just might work."

He crossed his legs and arms and laid back on the thin pillow. He smirked, feeling as if he still had all the power, even if he currently had none.

His eyes burst open when a side-thought fled through his exhausted mind.

"Ah! Where's Sasuke?"