Thanks to the incredible beta Enjie, I got this chapter fixed and hopefully over time I'll get all the others as well.
When Sam was in Kindergarten, he didn't know what it's like to be around normal people who don't have fathers who are in the police force as a criminal profiler. He learned it isn't normal to know how to shoot a gun with those chubby fists of his, he learned that it isn't normal to know how to take down a fifth grader if he bullies Sam, and most of all… he learned that in elementary school you don't make friends by being different.
So Sam sat alone during recess practicing writing and reading big words. He studied because it took his mind off the kids who were running and screaming in enjoyment with each other. The kids knew their place and knew how to be normal without having to be taught. It was times like this where he wished he didn't have to be alone. Dean protects him; he's always there for his brother. But he has school too and he's a third grader, and doesn't want the girls to see him wiping his snot-nosed little brother's face all the time. It's embarrassing for him.
So when Dean asks how school is, Sam lies. He's been lying since he was three years old and hasn't found the courage to stop yet. He lied when Dean asked where he got the bruise, his brother loves his father and so there was no way Sam was going to admit to John's foul temper at his youngest son. He's not good enough to be a Winchester and he knows it but Dean likes him, so he will be okay for Dean so his older brother will like him forever. It's better that way. He'll be anything in the world if it'll keep Dean around.
That day the teacher told everyone to draw what they love most so Sam drew his brother, knowing he'll have to trash the picture before he goes home. John got mad the first time Sam started to draw because it cluttered their already cluttered house. He didn't like the pictures getting hung up on the walls; he hated them with a passion and told Sam constantly that the world isn't full of rainbows and sunshine. There are storms too, and because he knew Sam was scared of clowns, he told his youngest that clowns are everywhere. Sam didn't tell his brother about this moment either.
When his class went to the library for the first time… Sam ignored the teacher and went over to the big kid section. There he found something amazing… a book series that made his eyes widen and his chest warm up inside of him, as if someone began to blow hot air into it. When he went up to the librarian with the book, he had to prove to her that he could read it so he sat down in front of her, opened the book gently to the first page and began to read. "If you are… interested in stor-stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book." It stunned the librarian but then she smiled.
"I bet your mommy and daddy made sure you could read before you even got into school, isn't that right? I'll allow you to check out this book but if you have some trouble with a word then you should get a dictionary. It's a helpful book that will teach you what words mean. All you have to do is look up the word in the book and the read what is says by the word. It'll tell you the meaning. Here… I'll write it down on a sticky note for you. Have your mother or father buy a dictionary if they don't already have one." She explained making Sam smile and nod before taking the book off her hands. His teacher wasn't impressed. Ms. Barnes glared at him before sighing.
"Go ahead, take the book, but if you put one single smudge on it I'm calling your father." She growled. Her name is Pamela Barnes and she has never liked Sam. At first she was very sweet and he looked up to her like a mother figure but then when he started telling her about his life, finally opening up to someone about it… she called his father and he got into a lot of trouble. She claims to be psychic and says that Sam is going to cause a lot of bad things to happen in his life. Personally, he thinks she's a little late for that. He's already caused a lot of trouble for the people around him.
So he closed his eyes, held the book tightly in his arms as his brown hair covered his eyes. This just might be the best thing he's ever found. The book is called A Series of Unfortunate Events… and it's about three orphans who go through a lot of bad things after having a wonderful life. It sounds interesting and he wants to see these three orphans have a good life. It might give him some hope.
When school lets out he watchesall the other kids take the bus, get driven by their parents, or have their older siblings walk them home. Sam walked all by himself. Dean used to walk him home at the beginning of the year but a girl named Anna… well she's the latest girl that he's become infatuated with so he stopped walking his kid brother home so he could spend more time with the 'angelic' girl. Sam doesn't mind though.
He walked along the sidewalk and under the trees. When he was six months old laying in his crib… a burglar broke into the house. Apparently his wife just had a kid and they had no money for toys or anything at all really, so he broke in to steal some toys. But when he saw Sam, he paused and imagined what his own kid's face will look like when he sees the toys. That's when Mary Winchester walked into the room and before she could even scream, the burglar took out a knife and killed her. He escaped with the toys but was caught three hours later. Apparently his wife wasn't too thrilled with letting him near the baby when he was covered in blood. John broke apart after that, or at least all those pictures of him smiling… well that person doesn't even look like John anymore. Sam never really got the chance to call him Dad before he was forcing both his sons to call him John instead.
As Sam walked home he noticed an older boy following him. The boy had brown hair with blond in it and blue eyes; he was wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt with a button down flannel over it. Old tennis shoes covered his feet but he seemed completely content with himself. He has to be an elementary school kid, probably around Dean's age… but why is he following Sam? But he knows why. The boy wants to bully him like everyone else. It makes sense of course but he doesn't want it to. He doesn't want a stalker, a cruel man who just wants to torment him… he doesn't want that to be normal. It shouldn't be normal. Taking in a deep breath he hurried along his path and held the book protectively to his chest. He didn't put it in his bag because some boys in his class thought it'd be funny to pour juice in his bag. It wasn't funny, but the teacher didn't say anything and Sam didn't get the chance to clean it. Luckily Dean won't be home for a while and John won't be either. Sam will be able to take care of the mess himself.
The walk isn't long, it barely takes ten minutes, but the boy continued to follow him. He's never walked this path at the same time as Sam before so it's strange and he doesn't like it but what can he do? Going over and talking to the boy is too confrontational and Sam can't get any scratches or bruises. If he does then his brother will know that everything isn't okay. So when he got home he hurries up the front steps and got to the door and pulled out his key. Instead of rushing to open it he hesitated, it was just for a brief moment but there was still the hesitation. What can he say? He can't say the truth… his family will never forgive him. Who could forgive him for saying that he doesn't feel like part of the family? That he's six years old and feels like he's drowning just being around these people? No… he can't say it so he won't. He doesn't want to break things.
When Sam got inside his house he immediately locked the doors and then began cleaning his backpack. After that he finished his homework and started to read. He finished by first chapter an hour later and started to cry. The three kids… their parents died in the very beginning of the book. One chapter and it was all gone, they lost everything.
And some sick part of Sam wished he lost everything too.
During recess Sam read intently and tried to keep focused on the book instead of the other children. They have gotten used to him by now and so he barely catches their attention anymore. He's just another part of the classroom, a part they try to block out like sight words and writing out the alphabet. It's all normal kid stuff that they ignore knowing it doesn't do anything for them. He's not important and neither is their homework. They're in kindergarten which means they get to smile and act cute before finally getting thrust into the education system and get brainwashed by teachers. Sam Winchester doesn't want to be brainwashed, he just wants to learn about a world outside of self-defense and the monsters of this world. He doesn't want to know about men capable of eating other people, he doesn't want to know about women who kill their children for money or for love, and he really doesn't want to hear about children burning puppies on the side of the road. Dean may think it's cool and wants to stop it from happening but Sam doesn't want it to be happening at all. He doesn't want to hear about it.
He continues to read the book, nearly done with the last chapter which is good because school will be over soon. Ms. Barnes regretfully informed Sam today that he'll be moving onto the next grade. Sometimes Sam thinks that his teacher believes he's a cheater, but that might just be because she's still sure he's going to ruin everything somehow. She thinks he's going to be the death of her, but he's leaving her class soon, he's running out of time to be the death of her.
So Sam looks at the blue sky and the scattered clouds… and he wishes that he would get to middle school sooner. He doesn't like recess and would prefer to grow up already. Things are better for adults because they know everything. They know what they want and they know how to destroy everything too. They can choose for children too, like these orphans. They have no choice; these circumstances are forced upon them by adults.
It was on Sam's graduation day that he finished the book and returned it to the librarian. He cried and she asked why he was crying. He tried to tell her liked the book and that it was great they could leave, but this just made her smile at him. The smile made him cry harder because it looked like someone actually cared.
"I know what you mean. Good books can make you cry out of happiness. I bet you grew attached to the orphans and just wanted them to be happy. You are a very good boy Sam Winchester." She informed him softly and pat the top of his head.
When his father lectured him on how weak it is to cry, Sam didn't care. Because someone called him good and it's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to him.
He sat in his third grade class with a frown on his face while Michael discussed the importance of a stable environment to the teacher and Dean flirted with Anna in the hallway. The bell has already rung but Anna is going home because of a high fever and Dean never misses the chance to flirt with the weak. It's really sickening. "Nick… you should stop glaring at Dean Winchester. He's very popular." Michael informed him, apparently done with the tired looking teacher. Nick could care less. He almost wanted to go find Castiel and bother him but he's in the 'Dean is so awesome' fanclub too so it wouldn't help his mood. Even his little sister Anna seems to like Dean, if the way she's blushing means anything. Anna and Castiel both seem to be crushing on him but Michael simply wants to use him to become popular. To Nick's never ending amusement, Dean can't stand Michael's guts.
When school ends for the day, Nick ditches his siblings and left without them quickly. He prefers to be alone anyway and all this Dean fetishism is getting on his nerves. It'd be one thing if the guy was interesting but he's just some self-righteous man-whore who can't keep it in his pants… well he's a third grader so it's not so bad but it still sucks. But that doesn't matter because next year he might not have the idiot in his class. The education system is lost on him anyhow. But as he walked home he noticed a little boy with a large book in his arms. His backpack has an obnoxious bright blue K on it for kindergartner but the book he's holding is third grade level at the least. Nick read the title and then smirked audibly. The little punk is reading A Series of Unfortunate Events. Isn't he just asking for it?
The little boy is maybe three feet tall and has a mop of brown hair that seems to cover his face completely as he walks with his head bowed and clutching the book like his life depends on it. The kid is wearing a large red jersey and blue jeans with hiking boots on. The red jersey made Nick think of little red riding hood for some reason but as he continues to watch the boy he realized he liked the analogy… and that's when those big brown eyes met Nick's blue ones… and he saw the panic, fear, and annoyance there which intrigued him more than anything else the boy could have done.
So naturally, Nick followed the kid.
[r2] The walk was simple and led him into a rather nice neighborhood, not as nice as Nick's house but then again his father is a very powerful man who they never see. So he pretty much stuck the kids in a large house and told them to look after each other. It was cruel and wrong and… Nick has a terrible feeling that it was because he was bad, but that doesn't matter because Michael is being tortured too and that makes this worth it. So it's not Nick's fault… it's not.
He followed the kid all the way home and was about to turn around as soon as he saw the normal house with its white picket fence when he noticed something strange. The yard is full of dead plants and weeds and when the kid went up to his door he took out his keys and hesitated. So Nick became interested. And that's when the series of unfortunate events began.
If the kid hadn't hesitated then Nick wouldn't have given a damn.
When Nick sat down at the dinner table while Gabriel passed out the food, he's kind of on Nick's side as a huge 'not fan' of Dean, and Nick watched his brothers and sister eat more out of boredom than anything. None of them noticed his lack of appetite, and Gabriel could care less as he ate candy in front of all of them. Michael doesn't bother to correct him. He quit caring about Gabriel a long time ago, and it seems as if little brother doesn't mind. Anna and Castiel kept sneaking looks of annoyance at him though, mostly out of jealousy as was so plain on their features. It's okay, he'll die from obesity soon enough even though he's slim as can be. It'll happen; Nick's sure of it.
"Well Lucifer, you look extra creepy tonight. Want to share what naughty thing you did today?" Gabriel asked making Nick pause and glance over at him curiously. His younger brother has always confused him, too many jokes and not enough serious conversation, so it's difficult.
"Don't call him Lucifer." Michael corrected more out of habit at this point. Gabriel has been calling his older brother that since he was three years old. They've never been able to break him out of this habit and really, Nick could care less. He feels like he could be Lucifer some days anyway, especially when he tells them what he did today.
"Well I followed a kindergartner home and decided that he's delicious so I'm going to find out everything I can about him then make him completely mine by the time he graduates high school." He informed the table causing Michael to stop eating while Anna and Castiel ignored his antics. Gabriel didn't look surprised; in fact, he seemed to find it amusing. But then again he's always had more humor than Michael.
"You must be joking! He's three years younger than you and can barely talk properly!" Michael cried as if he knew exactly who Nick is talking about. Then he looked around the table nervously before whispering, "And he's a boy! Boys don't date boys!" he cried hoarsely. Nick just stared at him blankly before sighing and taking a stab at his spaghetti.
"And you lack passion and have too many morals." Nick retorted grumpily.
His name is Sam Winchester, he's Dean Winchester's younger brother, go figure. Of course the person he's grown interested in also happens to be related to a person that Nick deeply despises. It's only natural. It's just like how it's only natural to send a maid over once a week along with a man who brings groceries because Dad is too busy to come home and see his stupid kids. There are five and he acts like it doesn't even matter. He's too busy being big and famous and out there and just out of reach. It's not okay.
But it doesn't matter because from his classroom he can see the playground and when Sam's class comes out he watches the little boy. His mess of brown hair and those earnest brown eyes… he always sits on the grass somewhere in the shade and reads by himself. The other kids don't bother him, don't even acknowledge him and the teacher doesn't seem to care as she pays attention to the other kids. He watches Sam daily and grows more and more interested as he watches the way the child read so intensely by himself. Dean doesn't talk about his brother much except to say that 'he's really smart, like Einstein smart.' That doesn't really help Nick; he already knew the kid's bright. He wanted to know more personality based things but coming in too early could mess up his plans, so he resolved to wait until Sam had started first grade, then it wouldn't be so weird.
But as Nick dug a bit more into Sam's situation, he felt a pang of bitterness. The kid is a lot like him. He's got an older brother who has self-righteousness coming out of his butt and a father who doesn't get it. He heard from a reliable source that a few weeks ago Sam was yelled at by his father about telling stories at school. Apparently Sam told the teacher about some abusive situations he was put into by his father… the teacher told the kid's dad. According to his source, Sam never spoke up about it again and the teacher quit caring about him. It's interesting that his mother is dead, just like Nick's. They don't know anything about their mother. Even Michael who is a good year older than Nick doesn't remember her. They were put in the same grade so that Michael could protect his brother and so that they could both look after the younger ones on the same footing.
Everything is going according to some big master plan apparently and there's nothing Nick can do to stop it or change it. But when graduation day came for the kindergarten class, he ditched his own class to go. But before he could get to the cafeteria, he noticed Sam rushing to the library without his class. He had the book, the very first one in that Unfortunate Events series, and was handing it over to the librarian with tears rushing down his face. It was strange… watching the kid cry. He didn't even cry when his dad yelled at him so it was interesting seeing something so precious. The librarian said something and it made Sam smile before walking out and heading towards where he should be. It just made Nick want him more. That librarian… Nick never paid much attention to her but she's glowing and she helped the kid out. When he grows up he'll reward her.
When he got to the ceremony he watched firsthand as John Winchester had a firm talking to with his son, it seemed tense so he's probably used to being much louder and probably much more violent by the way Sam has moved into a protective stance already, but it didn't matter. Even though he was crying the boy looked stronger than Nick has ever seen him. Sam Winchester is a saint and Nick will have a lot of fun pulling him apart piece by piece.
Dean was in the crowd too, ditching class as well it seems, but somehow he missed the scene with his father and brother. Nick could assume by the way he proudly stood next to his Dad that he didn't know about the abuse. It looks like verbal and some slight physical abuse is taking place. Nick almost pitied the kid but at the same time he knows that it'll just be that much easier to make Sam his. All he has to do is come in at the right time and pose as the hero. The hero always comes when hope is lost. But he's impatient.
The ceremony was long but time passed quickly enough by the different awards Sam kept getting. He got the perfect attendance, perfect grades, and then the reading award. The last one was a surprise award that the librarian handed out. Apparently it was the first time she had ever given out that award but it was obvious that the only Winchesters that were proud were the two youngest. Dean seemed to be glowing even brighter than Sam with all his pride while the younger just stared in shock.
He's a child who doesn't know the cruelties of this world. He's someone who thinks there might be good in it after all. He's gone through so much… Nick is tempted to let him keep dreaming that school will be a place to make it better. But Sam is just about first grade material. After his first couple days of school Nick will come, and he will never release his hold on Sam once he gets it.