A/N: Okay here's a one-shot song fic inspired by Mayday Parade's "Miserable At Best. I recommend listening to the song while reading. Oh the lyrics are in bold and the brackets [ ] are where I edited the lyrics to fit the fic. Laven and slight Lavi/Kanda and Allen/Lenalee, written in Allen's POV.
Whoops I forgot to disclaim again... Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man or any of the characters, etc. I also do not own Mayday Parade, Miserable At Best, and the lyrics.
Tonight is my prom night I should be happy right? Wrong, very wrong. I lost the person I love most and it's killing me. No, he's not dead; we broke up before I realized how much I needed him. We'd been together for a year and he admitted he loved me, I was afraid because the last person that loved me, my adopted father, died when I was young. Because of this, I was scared of commitment, he was ready and I wasn't so we had not choice but to break up. I thought I wanted someone else, I thought we'd be good together, but she never compared to him. That's when I realized I loved him, but it's too late.
This might be confusing since I've used him and her; I'm bi and was attracted to my two best friends Lenalee, and Lavi. I realized how hard I fell for Lavi when it was too late, so I'll just be miserable at best tonight. I throw on my tux and sigh; I'm going to my prom dateless and heart broken.
When I get there I sit in the corner by the food table, I can eat a lot so I guess that might make me feel better. My heart stops when Lavi enters, he's alone as well, but he won't be for long because of how stunning he looks. He's abandoned his normal green and black bandana, letting his red hair fall around his face effortlessly. His basic black tux makes him look as sexy as a movie star on the red carpet, and yet he looks so sad. [Lavi], don't cry, I know you're trying your hardest, and the hardest part is letting go of the nights we shared. I don't want you to forget, but I know you need to move on. He smiles as he greets our friends, his beautiful emerald eyes lighting up, but I know the happiness is fake. He'll put up a front for them, just like I will. But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright and when we look to the sky, it's not mine, but it want it so. I know you're not mine anymore but I can't help but love your eyes, I know it's cheesy but the stars will never be as bright.
My stomach drops when I see another across the room checking him out. Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight, I know he's there and you're probably hanging out and making eyes, while across the room, he stares. I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor and ask my [guy] to dance, [he'll] say yes.
My breaks as I watch the Japanese boy cross the dance floor, "YU-CHAN!" Lavi calls excitedly. The redhead smiles as Kanda asks him to dance in a low awkward tone. He's embarrassed but I know he likes Lavi. He accepts and pulls the raven-haired out on the floor. I know I was never good with words, because these words were never easier for me to say or [him] to second-guess. But I guess that I can live without you, but without you I'll be miserable at best.
I'm so miserable I just want to scream. I want to run and grab my love out of Kanda's arms. Lavi, You're all that I hoped I'd find in every single way. And everything I could give is everything you couldn't take. I continue to watch them dance, getting more desperate and more upset, He's so close but so far. 'Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away. It hurts to live without you and the hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay.
"Hey Allen!" Lenalee calls brightly, making me jump because I didn't realize she approached me. "Why are you all by yourself?"
Because I'm better that way, then I can't hurt anyone.
Before I can say anything she follows my gaze and sighs, "It's him isn't it?"
"Lavi! Who else? He's why you're so upset."
I plaster a smile onto my face, "No what do you mean? I'm fine see, I'm smiling," but I want to cry.
"I'm not stupid Allen, I've known all along how you felt. We dated once, remember?"
I wince thinking of how I hurt her. "I know."
"Yes and I know you, I know that you don't want others to see you unhappy. I knew, even when we were together, that you still loved him."
"Lenalee I did have feelings for you."
"I know Allen and I love you so I want you to be happy. I'm not mad Allen, I never was. I understood that you were afraid of commitment and when he wanted to commit you ran. You had feelings for me so you thought you could be happy with me. You did the right thing Allen, you needed to explore your feeling for me before you could truly be with him. Go tell him! I know you found out you loved him, after being with me. Don't be afraid, he's not over the break up either. I saw how sad he was and I know, like you, he's just pretending to be okay."
"Lenalee how did you know?"
"I'm smarter and more perceptive than you'd think. I want what's best for you and for Lavi and I know it's the two of you together."
"But look how happy he looks with Kanda!" I nod to them across the room.
She shook her head. "No. Kanda may be attracted to Lavi, but that will never last, they're too different. Trust me! Look the songs over, now's your chance. Go talk to him."
I swallow deciding to take her advice, because I could never stay away from him. And this will be the first time in a week that I'll talk to you, I think as I approach him. "Uh Lavi? I… I," and I can't speak. Been three whole days since I've had sleep 'cause I dream of his lips on your cheek. I got the point that I should leave you alone, but we both know that I'm not that strong and I miss the lips that made me fly.
The sadness returns to his eyes and can't help but think, compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright. "What is it Allen?" His sharp tone hurts me even more.
"Can we talk?" I move my eyes to the floor waiting for him to say no, but I miss his sad, yet beautiful smile.
"Yeah, sure." he turns to Kanda, "I'll be back." And my heart breaks yet again. I lead him to the hallway where we can talk without the loud music. "Okay Allen, what is it?"
"I know I might be too late because of Kanda, but I've realized I love you. I was scared but I want the commitment, I want to be with you. I love and I'm in love with you and without you I'll be miserable at best." I blurt out. I know I'm good for something, Lavi, but I just haven't found it yet. I need it and I need you.
I notice the light in Lavi's emerald eyes when mine finally meet his. He sighs, "Allen I'm still so in love with you, but I'm afraid, I don't want to get hurt again."
"I got the point that I should leave you alone, but we both know that I'm not that strong and I miss the lips that made me fly." That was so poetic and cheesy I can't believe I said that out loud, I think, blushing. "Lavi I miss being with you, I miss your lips, I miss your warm embrace, I miss you whispering in my ear, and I miss your love. Please just give me one more chance! I know I love you now and I'm afraid but I want to make the commitment with you."
He sighs taking in all I've said, "I don't know. How do I know you won't hurt me?"
"I can honestly say you don't, but I can promise you I'll try my hardest."
"What about Lenalee? I know how you felt."
"I had to explore my feeling for her, and that's when I realized, sure I found her attractive, but I was in love with you."
"So you and Lena wouldn't get back together?"
"No, I can promise you that. Please, can we try again?"
"Really?" my heart was pounding and I felt like I could fly.
"Yes," he leans in and places a slow unsure kiss on my lips. I kiss back and it's perfect. He pulls away and the smile that makes melt, the same one that makes his eyes shine.
"Wow." We both sigh together.
"Dance with me?" I nod in reply and he pulls me back onto the dance floor wrapping his arms around my waist. I wrap my arms around Lavi laying my head on his shoulder, finally feeling at home. Sure, we both know our relationship may be kind of shaky from here but I don't have to be alone and I don't have to be miserable at best.
A/N: I know this is similar to my The Boy All The Girls Want to Dance with Ouran fic, but I originally wanted to do it for Laven so I wrote a similar one to a different song. I hope you enjoyed it and feel free to tell me what you think. I apologize if Lavi seems OOC, but I blame it on him being hurt and sad.