Disclaimer: The following is a KhaosOmega fanfic. Mario belongs to Nintendo. The "You Gotta Be Bleeping Me" line belongs to Ken Harrelson. I own the "There Goes the Fourth Wall" sign. Please support the official release.
Chapter 1: Luigi Circuit
I thought they were never gonna get those team setups out. Basically the ten Double Dash teams were kept intact, with two new teams entered. One team was called Storm Rush, with Mona, as Wario identified her, and Rosalina as the team members. What we were unsure of was the two members of the other new team, the Inferno Angels. The team name sounded familiar, but i couldn't place a name to it. Plus, both team members were wearing full cloaks to hide their identities.
"Peach, don't get too carried away with the plot before you - OW!" Daisy was saying to me before a sign appeared out of nowhere hitting her in the face. I looked at the sign.
"There goes the fourth wall." it said. Anyway, as Daisy was saying before that sign randomly popped up, i'm Peach. The Double Dash Racing League was hosting a new, tewlve team All Cup Tour, meaning twelve pairs of two would race all sixteen circuits presented. These All Cup Tour race events always started at Luigi Circuit and ended at Rainbow Road, with the other fourteen tracks thrown in with a different random order each time. I hoped the tracks that were randomly chosen for which spot in the lineup didn't start with my least favorite ones. The last All Cup Tour held started with me and Daisy, my partner for this one, not even in the grid as Team Ultra beat us at the last second. Mario and Luigi, known together as the Super Mario Bros. (i know that for sure as they gained that name by rescuing me from Bowser long ago) won that run with a perfect score, and were ready to defend the title. But something told me the Inferno Angels would give everyone a run for their money.
Everyone lined up in the grid for the first race, Luigi Circuit. The Inferno Angels won the pole for the opening race. This race was the only one in the All Cup Tour with qualifying rounds, as every subsequent race would have the starting lineup set by the previous round's finish results. Luigi said that this reminded him of F-Zero, but with a different setup. In F-Zero races the better you finish in a race the further back you start the next one. Mario Kart set the lineups as finish result equals starting spot for the next race. Well, the grid was three rows of four, and with Bowser's large, spiky shell blocking our view of the Inferno Angels (Bowser and his youngest kid, Bowser Jr., were starting fifth while me and Daisy were ninth) we couldn't get any accurate info on them. Lakitu then flew in, with a set of lights on his fishing pole, and we were off three seconds later. The front four teams (the Inferno Angels, Mario Bros., Wario Bros., and Storm Rush teams) took off with Double Dash starts, the jet from Mario's Red Fire kart not helping us with our engine as one of us overcharged it for a dud start. Team Ultra and the Mushrooms both evaded their jets quickly enough, and Team Troopa was fortunate to be far enough right to miss the jets altogether.
"Oh, you gotta be BLEEPING me!" Daisy had yelled after we couldn't refire the engine the first try. By the time we managed to get it started again Bowser threw his team's Signature Item at the Mario Bros., missing them but hitting us en route, wrecking the right rear tire.
"First the engine and now this. I sure hope this doesn't get any worse." i said. That's when the fuel cell exploded from a Team Ultra-thrown Fireball hitting it. King Boo and Petey Piranha, known as Team Ultra, didn't have a personal Signature Item, but could use anyone else's. The Fireballs thrown were red, the only color they could access for it. Fireballs, the Signature Item of the Mario Bros., and Team Dino's Signature Item, an Egg, were the only items whose coloration differed depending on who got the item, and the only ones where Team Ultra only had one coloration accessible.
"Aw, man, Peach, you did it again." Daisy complained after the explosion. Before we could even begin the first lap, we were out of the opening race. I could see what Daisy was complaining about: Every time i hope things don't get any worse that the current situation, things turn that direction almost immediately after i get done saying it. The explosion of the fuel cell forced us to the pit lane where we could only watch a complete blowout win by the Inferno Angels. The Mario Bros. took second, and the Storm Rush team managed to pass Wario and Waluigi at the last second for third. Once everyone was in the paddock for the next race the track location popped up on the screen.
"You REALLY gotta be BLEEPING me!"