Last one: I hope you enjoy the last installment of Jack Encounters. Tell me what you thought!
Disclaimer: Still no
Deeks' feet hit the floor as he got out of the bed quietly making his way to his living room. Someone had been softly knocking on his door and it was ten at night. Although most people thought that he was a player and partied, most nights he was in bed at midnight and nights after a long case he made it to bed as early as possible. Tonight he had been exhausted, but a visitor at his door was not a common occurrence and he was immediately fully awake with apprehension.
Reaching his door, he peered through the side pane and was very surprised to see Kensi standing on the other side. Once in a while, they would hang out at each other's places, but never had she come over without talking to him first.
Deeks swallowed and opened the door as fast as he could. She didn't look good. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her body shivering from the cold and from emotions. Even though Deeks had only known Kensi for a little over two years, he knew her and this was not the normal Kensi. Her face was strained, pain shone in her eyes.
Sweeping his eyes over her body, Deeks found no sign of a physical problem. Speaking softly, his voice laced with concern, Deeks tried to prepare himself for whatever had happened to his stoic partner, "Kensi, what's wrong?"
Kensi tried to still her body, but the air and feelings seem to have control over her. Seeing the concern clouding Deeks' blue eyes and hearing the gentle tone of his voice, Kensi had to fight tears. This was a big step for her. Kensi Blye was not the type to show weakness and definitely not to ask for help, but there had always been something about Deeks and this was not a typical situation. Kensi opened her mouth and fought past the tightness in her throat, "I…needed you."
A tear trickled down her face and Kensi ignored it. Deeks had never seen her so vulnerable and never dreamed he would see the day that Kensi said she needed him. His heart clenched with worry for her, but he had to admit those words coming from Kensi had sounded beautiful.
He put an arm around her shoulder and guided her inside his house leading her to the couch. She sank onto it as more tears fell from her eyes. Kensi didn't bother to try to stop them, she had been stopping them for years and holding them in for nearly two hours. She was safe with Deeks. No matter his teasing and his goofy exterior, Kensi knew she could be completely vulnerable with him and he would be exactly what she needed.
Deeks left the room, but was back in seconds holding his gray pullover. Kensi took it from his outstretched hands and slipped it over her tank top without hesitating. Deeks put a box of tissues on the coffee table and then sat gently next to her angling his body toward her. He left a small amount of space between them so he wasn't crowding her and so he was close enough to show comfort and support. Deeks spoke quietly, "Wanna talk about it?"
Kensi's brown eyes met his. Tears had emphasized the deep brown of her eyes and hurt and confusion swirled through them. Deeks saw her swallow. Her eyes fluttered closed trying to calm herself enough to talk. He knew it was a good sign that she wanted to talk about it.
She opened her eyes taking solace in the calm of Deeks' ocean blueeyes. As she opened her mouth to speak, another wave of emotion hit, but she wavered through it, "I saw him. I was at the mall and I looked over at the food court and there he was. He was sitting with two kids. My heart started pounding and my hands were sweating. I always knew I would see him one day, but I never prepared for it because I was too busy trying to forget…" Kensi's voice cracked and she paused to swipe tears from her cheek. She had to get through this, "I can't believe it, but I was actually considering going over to talk to him. I have no idea what I would have said anyway. Then an attractive blonde walked over to him and they kissed and he put his hand on her pregnant belly. They were talking and smiling and interacting with a toddler and another child.
"I froze…the kids prove he got married shortly after leaving me and now he has a beautiful family. I knew I should have just walked away, but I was so shocked and hurt. I just stood there with my eyes wide and lips parted. He glanced over my way and looked directly at me. His face filled with pity for me and he took a half step toward me. That's when I realized I was crying so I turned around and raced from the building. Deeks, Jack has a family and I'm still broken and alone," her voice broke and she tried to brush her tears away.
Deeks pulled her into his chest holding her close to him. Wrapping his arms around her, he rubbed her back soothingly, "I'm so sorry Kens. I wish I would have been there with you. Why didn't you come over right away?"
"I should be over it, it's been years so I was trying to just ignore it and move on," Kensi shook her head, "but I couldn't."
"Kensi, you don't have to be over it. You need to grieve, I'm sure you never let yourself," Deeks heard her trying to choke off the emotions and whispered the last part, "You can cry, Kensi."
That was all the reassurance Kensi needed. She let the sobs come shaking her body with the anguish of what she went through and what she lost. Balling a fist in Deeks' t-shirt, Kensi buried her face in his neck and cried. She released the years of hurt and anger, the pain over seeing that Jack moved on without her, the bitterness of being alone, the sadness of being left, the sorrow of realizing Jack had replaced her with another woman, and the jealousy of having a family.
Deeks' heart broke with each sob that shook Kensi's body. Anger bubbled inside of him. How could anyone hurt someone like this? How did Jack just leave her? He was sincerely angry that this stranger had hurt his Kensi. Kensi was the most amazing woman Deeks had ever met and he would never break her like Jack had. As Deeks felt her tears soaking his neck, Deeks closed his eyes and mumbled soft words of comfort to her. Feeling her hand twisted in his shirt, Deeks could feel her heartbreak, but it also showed him just how much Kensi depended on him. Tonight, she had admitted that she needed him and he knew she trusted him, but that one gesture of clenching his shirt in pain spoke volumes. Kensi was clinging to him for strength. And he would gladly be her strength and hold her for as long as she needed.
After a good thirty minutes, Kensi's tears began to slow and her sobbing turned to shaky breaths and sniffling. Kensi remained leaning on Deeks, head resting on his shoulder, face nuzzled in his neck. She was comfortable here…in Deeks' arms. Kensi knew Deeks was strong and dependable even though she teased him, Kensi knew he was always there for her. And sitting next to him, leaning against him, Kensi felt belonging.
Since she didn't show any indication of her wanting him to let go, Deeks continued to draw soothing circles on her back and placed a feather light kiss on the top of her head. Knowing Kensi had calmed down, Deeks whispered, "You're not alone, Kens. You have your own family at NCIS and you…" Deeks' voice became husky with raw emotion, "have me. You will always have me, Kensi."
Kensi couldn't help, but smile even as fresh tears sprung to her eyes. Now they were not tears of sorrow, they were tears of happiness. As much as her heart ached over Jack, she realized now that in a weird way she was over him. Of course, the pain over being abandoned was still there and she felt betrayed that he got married shortly after leaving her, but she wouldn't take a second chance with him even if it were possible. Because her heart had healed and moved on when she met a certain LAPD detective. Deeks reached a part of her that she thought had died. Kensi had not allowed herself to rely on people since the day Jack had left. Then Deeks came to NCIS and Kensi couldn't help, but need him. She met his eyes with her watery ones, "I know."
They sat in a comfortable silence both thinking, hoping, healing, and dreaming. Kensi sat up next to Deeks leaning against the couch staying close enough for her shoulder to be touching Deeks. Deeks could sense a change in her. Kensi sat with a new resolve and a new confidence. Looking at her questioningly, Deeks spoke without words asking if she was okay and if she wanted to explain her rapid change.
Kensi took Deeks' hand in hers, "Thank you, Marty."
His eyes widened minutely, but enough to show Kensi she had his attention. "No problem. What are partners for? Are you okay?"
Kensi nodded reassuringly, "I am officially over Jack."
"Did crying really help that much?" Deeks brushed his thumb back and forth across her hand.
Taking a breath, Kensi gathered every ounce of strength she had, "No. You did. Deeks, I guess I was over Jack a few years ago. It still hurt to see him because the pain of being abandoned doesn't go away," Kensi glanced down at their joined hands and then looked back up at his face. His calming blue eyes gave her the courage to continue, "My heart healed the moment I really met you."
Deeks' breath caught. Was Kensi really admitting that she had feelings for him? He decided to play it cool for now, jumping to conclusions would only hurt them both, "I care about you, Kensi."
Kensi smirked at his hesitance. He was always trying to protect her even if it meant sacrificing himself. She squeezed his hand, "You healed the heart Jack broke. I didn't think I would ever be able to love anyone again, but you changed that." Kensi's heart rate increased with every second that Deeks didn't respond.
Deeks was shocked. He loved Kensi, but he hadn't let himself dream that she loved him back. He cleared his throat and moved ever so slightly closer to her, "I love you, Kensi Blye."
Kensi's face broke into a smile and she let out her breath, "I love you too, Marty Deeks."
"Does this mean I have permission to kiss you? Because I have been wanting to, but was scared for my life." Deeks leaned closer and closer to her, eyes flickering to her lips.
Sliding her tongue over her parted lips, Kensi answered, "You most definitely have permission."
He pressed a chaste kiss to her lips and then whispered, "I promise I will never break you."
Kensi smiled and answered, "And that's why I love you."
Deeks broke away long enough to mumble, "I should send Jack a 'thank you' card after I punch him in the face of course."