Entry 52 - Musings
I feel winsome tonight, diary. Pensive. In a mood to reflect and recollect on the changes that both I and my family have faced in the past year.
I have seen much. From Tana and Gidden's wedding, to Allana's departure from tradition to become a holo star, to Jarid - my erratic and adventurous brother - becoming engaged. I suppose with both of my twins having found someone, it is only fitting that I should end the year by announcing my own choice of consort - of husband - and one that mother and father approve of heartily.
I have changed much through this year, diary.
I have been forced to reevaluate opinions and ideas, to grow beyond what I was and to look beyond my narrow view of the world. I have been forced to swallow my pride, to fight for that which I truly want - after realizing that what I wanted was not what I believed I wanted - and I have reconciled with my siblings.
I have grown from the selfish, spoiled girl I now see I was into a woman who has chosen her own path.
I am not a Jedi. I will never be able to be a Jedi. I am not a holo star, nor do I have a desire to be one. I cannot have father's affinity for animals, nor Tana's for plants; however, I do have my painting. I am a woman with a head for politics, for the arena in which I was born to take command. I find I am well suited to follow in my mother's footsteps and find myself hoping that it is a long time in the future.
I have found who and what I am and who and what I wish to be in this past year and have chosen to accomplish those goals. I have fought for what I truly believed in and won. I have what I wished for, what I was too blind to see when it was in front of me and only realized its loss when it could no longer be mine. I would have given up my crown, my title and my position to have regained my old Cyris.
Thankfully, that was not necessary.
I am and remain Layne Djo-Solo, Chume'Da to Hapes and future wife to Cyris. I cannot wait for my wedding!
Author's Note: And that's it folks! Layne was a fun character to explore this way - to showcase in an unconventional fashion. Not only did this diary spawn spin off vignettes - yes, plural; expect something with Layne and Cyris shortly ;) - but it was a good opportunity to explain what happened after Homecoming