Turian Worryin'

Note: Femshep x Garrus romance. Default Jane Shepard. Spacer. ME3 fic. Femshep and Garrus offer someone interspecies relationship advice... Although they try better than Mordin did. & ooh look! I rhymed. I can't seem to come up with good titles lately... lol. ;) Enjoy!

Extra note: Rated M just to be safe.

New!: Prequel is published! It's called Turian Worryin' Origins.


Shepard was leaning against Garrus in a booth at Purgatory, glass in hand. Whereas one of Garrus' hands held a glass, while the other was wrapped around Shepard's waist.

Garrus was laughing, "So this kid was holding the rocket launcher determinately, and it was crushing his shoulder, and when he shot it – Ha!"

His laughing was interrupted when a tall dark haired woman with brown eyes came over to their booth, "Jane! Is that you?"

Shepard quickly got up, nearly spilling her drink in the process, "Amy!" She hugged her, "What are you doing here?"

Garrus glanced up at the two women. Shepard obviously knew her well, she hardly displayed such emotion in public. Perhaps it was the alcohol. Regardless, she seemed incredibly excited.

Amy smiled, pulling out of the embrace, "Shift's over, and I need a drink. How about you?"

"Shore leave." She said simply, leaving out details. She turned partially to motion at Garrus, "Garrus. This is Amy Young. An old friend of mine. Our father's were friends, and we practically grew up together."

Amy pushed at Shepard's shoulder, "It's actually Officer Amy Young now. C-Sec." She smiled.

Shepard's mouth hung open, "You're not with the Alliance anymore?"

She nodded, "I... umm... Actually quit when you –"

Shepard squeezed her shoulder. Letting the subject drop, she turned towards her turian companion, who was still seated, "Garrus was C-Sec. He's part of my crew now though."

Amy walked up to him, and offered a hand. He shook it and said, "Garrus Vakarian. Nice to meet you." He cast a long glance at Shepard, before continuing, "I don't think I've met anyone from Shepard's past before."

Amy smirked, "Go figure."

Shepard dragged Amy to sit beside her on the booth's cushion, before she resumed her relaxed position with Garrus.

"Wow. Don't you two look comfy." She looked at the couple with a smile tugging at her lips, "Wanna fill me in, Jane?"

She shifted a little against Garrus. Nervously she replied, "Garrus and I, well... Ah... He's my... boyfriend..."

Garrus looked down at her, blue eyes shining, "I thought you didn't like that word."

She chuckled and lightly flicked his mandible, "Well what else am I gonna call you?"

He tapped his chin, "Mate."

Her brows furrowed, mulling over their sniping date they had the other day. She huffed a breath, and turned to look back at her girlfriend, "Fine. Garrus is my mate." He chuckled softly, and nuzzled the top of her head.

When Shepard regained eye contact with Amy, she expected a look of disgust or outrage in the typically hot-headed woman. But it wasn't there. Amy's smile had broke free and she was grinning wide.

"You two are so cute. It's disgusting."

Shepard's eyebrows shot up her head, "What? I thought you'd be all like 'Jane, you know he's an alien right?'" She said in a mocking tone.

"Pfft." She waved her hand dismissively, and reached for Shepard's drink. She downed some and continued, "That's something your mother might say, but not your friend. I'm more opened minded than you think, obviously."

"Oh? Obviously. How so?"

Amy adverted her gaze then, "Well I'm, ah... Crap. I'm gonna need a drink..." She downed the remainder of Shepard's brandy. "Fucking hell. How is it that you always get me to spill my guts so easily?" She sighed, "There's this guy. Also C-Sec..." She looked at the freshly empty glass in her hand, "Name's Merik Avaricious."

Jane quickly shot straight up, "Naw."


"No way."

"It's true."

"I don't believe you. You?"

"Yes! Alright Jane! Apparently we both find turians hot! Is that so hard to believe?"

Shepard scooted closer to her friend. Garrus was understandably quiet during this whole exchange. He recognized the name, but couldn't place a face to it. He found the situation amusing, but uncharacteristically kept to himself.

Shepard leaned closer towards Amy, "Are you two... Have you... Do you..." She sighed and waved over a waitress, "Could we have two more brandies, and two shots of vodka if you have it?"

They sat in silence until the waitress came back. Shepard picked up the shots and offered one to Amy. They both drank in unison before Shepard continued, "Is it just a crush?"

Amy nodded, "For now. I mean, I'd like it to be... more."

"Like... serious?"


Shepard sat back against the cushion, "Is he interested?"

Amy sat back too, "Have no idea... I'm not that good at reading turians."

Shepard looked over towards Garrus, who sat up a little and asked Amy, "Do you work together often?"

"Yeah, actually. Mostly lower wards."

"Volunteer duty?"

She nodded.

"Have you ever... interacted after work?"

She slightly grimaced, "We've gone drinking with the boys a couple of times."

"Did you stay in the group the entire time, or did you sometimes end up alone?"

She thought about it, "We've ended up alone a few times."

"Were you the only female there?"

She nodded, and he clicked his mandibles affirmatively, "I'd say he shows interest."

Amy perked up, but her expression seemed to show that she needed an explanation.

Garrus briefly looked at Shepard before continuing, "Beyond, uhm, one night arrangements, when we're really interested in a female, we tend to spend a lot of time with her. Oftentimes avoiding other males for the sole purpose of interacting with the female."

Shepard looked over towards him, "Oh? So is that why you never come out of the main battery?"

He tilted his head slightly, "Partially. But it mostly contributed to why back in the early days on the SR-2, you were really the only person I spent any time with... Although after we, uh, started things, I began to spend more time with Joker and Tali..." He turned back towards Amy, "Even though casual... liaisons are common, we still have the instinct to mate for life. It's true not everyone follows their instincts... And that instinct tends to make us what you humans may call over protective, or maybe clingy. It's just normal behavior for us. We're very loyal to those we care about."

Amy ran a hand over her face, "Okay... Thanks. But, um, how would I move things along? Or can I?"

Shepard smirked wickedly, "Well, for me, I did have to make the first move."

Garrus interrupted, "Because you're the superior officer."

Amy looked confused, "That matters?"

Garrus flared his mandibles and nodded, "We're militaristic. What's the case with you?"

She smiled, "We're equally ranked."

Garrus took a drink and pulled Jane back to him, "Good. You can 'make the first move'."

Shepard chuckled, and Amy looked towards the both of them, "What is the first move?"

Shepard pulled Garrus' arm across her waist, "I offered casual sex to blow off steam, but hinted at an offer of something more."

Garrus tightened his grip, "Which wasn't subtle." He joked.

Now Shepard was confused, "What?"

He drooped his mandibles slightly, "You honestly thought you were subtle?" She nodded, "But you were very, umm, physical. We touched!"


He sighed, "Which is more than someone would do if the offer were only casual."

Amy interjected, "So I take it that touching is... important?"

Garrus clicked his mandibles, "Turians don't really casually touch with one another. A touch is more, uhm, meaningful. Humans touch casually all the time." He lowered his voice and muttered, "Took me awhile to figure that one out."

Shepard leaned forward to grab her brandy, "So what? You thought everyone was together, on the SR-1?"

Garrus looked away embarrassed as she rearranged herself against him, "Not really... But, I, ah, didn't know until Wrex... explained. In C-sec, I guess I never really payed close enough attention to humans. Like that."

Amy chuckled, "I wonder what Merik thought when I hugged him goodbye that other night."

That got Garrus' full attention, "Turians don't hug." He raised a brow plate, "What did he do?"

She shrugged and sipped her drink, "He hugged back." She giggled, "But not at first. He just kinda stood there for a few seconds before he hugged. And when he did, his mandible tickled my cheek." She touched her cheek and fluttered her fingers as if recreating the sensation.

Garrus smiled wide, "He's definitely interested." He leaned down to brush his mandible against Shepard's cheek, "Touching, ah, mandibles is a sign of affection." He encouraged Shepard to turn slightly so he could rest his forehead against hers. He pulled away, "Touching like that is probably most like a human kiss. It shows care, trust, loyalty. A symbol of affection. A reassurance of deeper emotions."

Amy's mouth hug open, and Shepard laughed, "Merik... He did that! Today!"

Shepard stopped laughing, "What? Elaborate."

Amy took a longer drink, "There was a brawl between some refugees. A batarian and a human. The human pulled a gun on me. Tried to shoot me, but Merik tackled him and beat the shit out of the guy." She shook her head, "After we took 'em in, he pulled me aside and started lecturing me on being more aware of my surroundings. After a bit, I got frustrated. I yelled at him and started to storm off. He grabbed my wrist, forced me to turn around." She swallowed hard, "And did that thing. I was still pissed, so I left. And as soon as I could, I came here. I just thought he was being an ass." She groaned, "Now I feel awful."

Shepard reached over and patted her knee, "It's okay... But I think you should be having drinks with him, and not us."

"Yeah. You're right." She suddenly looked nervous, "What if... What if drinks lead to something more?"

"Isn't that what you want?"

"Well, yeah. It's just –"

Shepard cut her off, "What do you want to know?"

"Damn... Okay. I heard about allergies?"

Shepard shook her head, "People usually over exaggerate that. Have you ever had turian blood on you, and it burned?"

She thought about it, "No."

"Then you should be fine. The allergy is rare."

"What about him?"

Garrus shook his head, "Turians rarely have allergies. There's a lot of turian and asari couples, and I don't think I've ever heard of allergy problems with them."

Amy perked up, "Oh. Well that's good... Now what about this chafing thing?"

Shepard laughed, "Only happens if you're... rough. And it's nothing some lotion can't fix."

Amy took a drink, "So what happens if it's rough? I mean, turians have, ah, talons..."

Shepard laughed again, "It's like fingernails. They can be sharp if you don't trim and file them, but they don't really hurt." She leaned her head to the side, "They're actually really nice."

Garrus clicked his mandibles, and interrupted, "They can damage if you're aggressive. But if you're with another species, you'd keep it under control. You don't see many asari walking around mauled because they had a night with a turian."

"Oh!" Amy exclaimed as she took a moment in thought, "I've also... heard... that they're barbed."

Garrus mumbled under his breath before Shepard spoke up, "You know turians have everything... internal, right? Well it wouldn't be very... comfortable, or safe, to have it internal with barbs. It's not like that... Sure it's more rough, and has more ridges. But that is only good. Trust me."

"'Kay" She took another drink, "Okay. So I should go see Merik." She stood up, "I don't know where he is." She plopped back down, pulled up her omni-tool, and sent him a message. After another long drink, her omni-tool beeped. After reading it, and replying she stood back up, "Says he just got here. I told him to come in." She smiled, "Thanks you two. It was nice seeing you again Jane. And nice meeting you Garrus."

Shepard smiled, "Use the time you have well. Good luck." Garrus nodded in agreement.

She smiled, waved and left.

Garrus nuzzled the top of Shepard's head, "I can see why you two are friends. You're a lot alike."

"Why? Because of the turian thing?"

He tilted his head to look at her better, "No. You act a lot alike." He nodded in the direction of the bar's entrance, "Look."

They saw a light brown plated turian walk in with white markings. Amy walked over to him, grabbed his arm, and lead him to a nearby corner.

From where they were sitting, they could see them exchange a few words. Amy then stood on her tiptoes, and rested her forehead against his. He seemed to stiffen a little, and then brought her close as he relaxed. It looked like they kissed before they left.

Shepard smiled up at Garrus, "We are such good advice givers."


Author's note: Partially inspired by an old masskink prompt, and Mordin. My take on turian-human relationships.