This is a chapter I did purely for fun, enjoy.

I got big booty bitches,
Big, Big booty bitches
I got big booty bitches,
Big, Big booty bitches
Big booty bitches
Big, big booty bitches
Big booty bitches
Big, big booty bitches
I got, I got
big booty bitches,
Big, big booty bitches
I got big booty bitches
Big, big booty bitches (x3)

Little bitches get out,
We don't want no skinny bitche-"

"...what the hell are you listening too?"

Alex nearly fell out of his chair in surprise, as he quickly excited out of the interesting video he was watching"I was looking into different music that I might like"

James held his head in disbelief, as he said "And you chose big booty bitches? at 4:00am?Damn it Alex, I don't want maya exposed to that "

"...It was in your daughters bookmarks" Replied Alex. He watched in curiosity as Heller instantly fell onto the floor in shock, unmoving. Alex stepped over towards his body, and kicked him slightly in the side" ok?"

James continued to lay on the floor for another few minutes(with Alex kicking him in the side slightly), before he jumped up and bonked Alex on the head...with his hammerfist "Stop kicking me! What if I was dieing?"


"What if I was in a coma?"


"What if I DID actually fucking die"

"Then it would be funny"



James looked at Alex with a face that could only mean 'What the fuck?' " Why would that be funny?"

"Because the man who ripped my arms off died from finding out his daughter listens to "Big Booty Bitches" Why Else?" Alex replied dead serious .

Alex likes to troll occasionally.

"You know what mother f-""ALEX, JAMES!" Both men looked at each other, before dashing out the room.

Dana watched as they went flying through the furniture, her furniture, and create thier usual arsenal out of thier arms."What's wrong Dana?" Asked Alex, as Heller began to make his way up to Maya.

"Oh calm down, your both so paranoid...I wanted to talk to you about what the hell I saw on the news. Are you guys CRAZY? YOU CAN'T JUST-bLA BLA BLA BLA"

James and Alex looked at each other, and made a silent agreement. See both men decided to spend the rest of thier night after getting back home discussing what actions they would take in every day life, how to handle blackwatch, and how to protect the girls. Another issue that came up was how to deal with Dana's rather..dangerous chewing outs. They decided that the only thing to do is to runaway, jump onto the roof, sit back, relax, and wait for it to blow over.

At least James thought it would work.

"Are you even listing to me!" Said Dana shocking the two back, and causing Alex to start inching backwards"I can't BELIEVE you guys!-"

She was cut off as Alex sent a light kick into James's back, launching him directly into Dana. He then high tailed it upstairs like Speedy Gonzales and didn't even look back. James found himself on top of Dana, who in return had fire in her eyes. The man could only say one thing as Dana opened her mouth again.

"fucking TRAITOR!"

( Maya Room)


The little Heller looked up a Alex literally dive rolled into her room. He dashed forward at speeds she could barely follow, and locked the door behind him. He looked around the room fragrantly, before his eyes landed on the closet. With no hesitation, he jumped into the enclosed space and closed the door behind him.

"Ummmm Mr merce-"

"Shusshhhh, hide little girl! You don't want to see what's going on out there"

Maya giggle a bit, before replying" Is Big sis arguing with daddy again?"

Alex peaked through the door slightly and responded" did you?"

"I hear a lot of Bad words"


" And it isn't the first time it happened, plus dad used to hide in my room all the time from mom."

"Really?" asked Alex, smirking at the new material he has.

"Yeah! you should come out it won't be long"


( 5 hours later)

Dana giggled as she took another sip of vodka, due to her watching the now very nervous James in front of her. See, Dana had to pause for a moment in her 4 hour long rant to get a sip to drink. In her haste, she forgot that they put the vodka in the pitcher instead of a bottle, due to James's arguing over the usefulness of it. When the man tried to warn her, she chewed him out again and went on anyway.

not to long later, this happened

"Come on James, right here on the couch, Alex doesn't have to*hiccup* know" she said to the large man with a wink, as he began to crawl away from her...again"

"Now D-Dana you aint thinking this through" James told her as he found himself backed into a corner. He felt a hand sneak up his thigh, that caused him to squirm in alarm"Damn it woman, no means no!"

"Daddy..." stated Maya from the steps, which shocked Dana out of her drunkenness and caused thee woman to jump off of the man in front of her.
" Mr Mercer won't come out of the closet...and he took my game boy deluxe" she payed no mind to what was goign on in front of her, she got over it the first 10 times Dana got drunk.

Dana looked at James apologetically, before making her way upstairs.

( Mayas room)

"Alex, come out of the closet please!" Asked Dana who was barely able to even comprehend this situation.

"Your just going to yell at me...and I'm playing Super Mario Bros. games are actually very entertaining"

"Come on Alex" stated James from the door" Your playign Mario in my daughters closet with a blanket over your head...Now what is wrong with this image?"

"Lots, but it's a fanfiction what the hell do you expect? Now let me finish this level"


"I'm not coming out! Now unless unless black watch is attacking i don't wanna hear it"

Dana sighed"Please Alex, your acting like a kid and quite frankly it scares me"

"Yeah that's rich coming from some one who got drunk from drinking out of the wrong bottle and almost raped me" replied James again from the door and Dana heard the game pause as Alex looked up at the both of them from the closet in alarm.


If any of them were to look up into the window, they would see a camera sticking out of a tree...

(At red crown)

"WHAT!" simultaneously shouted all Blackwatch(aka cannon fodder) personnel in the communications room, but none louder than Colonel Rooks.

The operation to spy on the two monsters was the most exciting part of his day. He even began to play some music and drinking his office once he heard of the camera planting being successful. Imagine his surprise when he walked into his communications deck, and heard that James Heller, a man he's grown to respect and hate, talk about being almost raped by his fellow terrorist's sister, a fellow terrorist who locked himself in a closet to play a gameboy...not even a DS, a fucking old ass gameboy.

"Sir, what do we do?" asked one of his subordinates from his side.

"Kid we do nothing, I'm going to my office. If anyone needs me I'll be banging my head on the desk...good work boys"