A/N - Someone once wrote on YouTube that Mission Impossible shouldn't be called Mission Impossible but rather Mission very very hard but actually possible. I laughed hard. This time however, the mission may very well be impossible…
Oh, well. Let the missions begin. You decide if it's impossible or not.
Mission Impossible: Who is Loki's Lover?
Prologue - Loki has a day out
It was a sunny day and lucky little Loki was out on a daytrip to the city. Stark on the other hand had a sour face. He was stuck with babysitting duties.
Because this is what happened. After the Manhattan battle, Odin had sent Loki back to Earth with Thor to do some 'community service' as Fury put it. Stark thought that was a load of bull and Odin probably just didn't want Loki on planet Asgard. But Fury had granted Loki access to Earth. And here he was.
What was even worse now was that Loki got a 'treat' for being such a good little boy and not pranking anyone for three days straight (a new record according to Thor). So he got a trip out to the city and Stark got stuck monitoring him.
Loki wasn't allowed out scot-free. He had a tracker and a listening device taped to him. To add, there were cameras on him everywhere. And apparently he had promised not to touch them. Yeah right, Stark thought. Trust goes a loooong way with the God of Mischief.
Loki had left that morning, waving Stark goodbye with an irritating waggle of fingers. He practically skipped out of base. And now it was mid-morning and Loki had been searching for a place to eat. He took ages to choose where. He scanned menus and looked at the scenery. Finally! (Stark had nearly fallen asleep out of boredom now) He sat down at a small bistro which served pasta and other western dishes.
And now Stark had the delight of watching him chose what to eat. Which took him another 10 minutes. And what was worse? Well, Loki ordered the food and ate the pasta ever sooooo slowly. It irked Stark like hell. There was Loki: eating Mediterranean pasta with garlic bread and onion soup, and here was Stark – stuck in a grey room with cameras as his best friend and a cup of water. Pathetic. Stark made a note to eat fancy tonight.
But just as Stark was telling Jarvis to note that down, a female voice distracted him.
"Hello." Came a soft, elegant voice. "Mind if I sit here?"
Loki grinned. Stark didn't. Because the camera couldn't see this supposed female. A potted plant blocked a clear view. All Stark could see was brown soft hair and a slim body.
"Why Loki's table!" Stark hissed indignantly.
"Please do." Loki offered in an overly gentlemanly fashion. Stark pretended to gag. "But why sit at my table?" Yes, why? Stark thought acerbically. "Can I help you?"
"Yes. You can." The female said, a touch of wickedness in her voice. "You see, I couldn't help but notice how…handsome you were."
Loki's smile grew broader. "Oh. It's a good thing I'm single then." He smirked.
"Is that so?" the female asked coyly. "Need I say more?"
"Of course not." Loki smiled. "Would you like to go out for dinner then?" he asked with a small bow.
"It would be my pleasure."
"Guys!" yelled Tony, contacting everyone via phone immediately. "It's an emergency!"
"What's wrong?" Natasha asked instantly, professional as always. "Aliens or humans?"
"Loki!" Tony screamed. Thor sighed.
"Tch. What'd he do this time?" Bruce groaned. "I knew that day trip thing was a bad idea."
Clint grunted his agreement. "His community service should be to sit in a room and let little kids throw tomatoes at him."
"Oooh. Good idea." Tony said distracted. "It would improve their aim. Kids these days are getting really bad at sports."
"Stop diverting Stark." Steve muttered. "Back to the point, what happened?"
"Oh." Tony said simply. "Loki got a girlfriend."
There was silence. And more silence. And then suddenly…
"WHAT!" came the unanimous scream from all the Avengers.
"You're joking." "That's impossible." "You're mistaken." "It must have been a trick of light." A variety of responses came muddled through the phone. Each one more obscure till there was swearing involved. Tony held the phone away from his head to preserve his hearing ability.
"Chill people." He said. "I know Loki got a girlfriend…apparently…but the world isn't going to end yet."
"Don't count on that." Clint said darkly. "If they get together, married and all, you know what's next? Little Lokis. Urgh." He shivered.
In the background Natasha choked at the thought.
"Let's gather and discuss this properly." Steve suggested.
"Good idea." Tony seconded. "My place in five."
All the avengers were gathered in Tony's living room. On the television was a frozen picture of the CCTV camera feed where Loki sat with his pasta and a half-hidden girl opposite. Tony pressed play and in the video, Loki leaned forwards to capture a pasta-y kiss.
Natasha grimaced. "So it's confirmed."
"Oh yeah." Tony nodded. "It's a girlfriend…if a very mislead and mistaken one."
"What do we do about this…misguided…female." Thor questioned in a deep voice. "We cannot allow her to be hurt."
"Of course not." Steve agreed. "We have to interrogate Loki when he comes back."
"Interrogate me about what?" came a voice from the doorway. "Hello people." Waved Loki. All the Avengers shuffled three steps away from the Asgardian god.
Loki looked at the TV screen with interest and then smirked. "Ah, I see you saw my…date."
"Explain." Thor demanded. "Who is this woman you are fooling."
"Fooling?" Loki looked at his brother with an injured expression. "I fool nobody. If you saw that film properly, she approached me first."
"And what trickery did you play to lure her there?" Steve asked firmly.
"None." Loki raised both hands in surrender. "I simply offered to date her and she agreed."
"Who is this woman?" Clint finally asked. "We'll ask her ourselves."
"Can't tell you that one." Loki smiled, a wide, wide grin of someone who had the upper hand.
"Why not." Tony folded his arms.
"Because." Loki said simply. "It's a secret."
"Damn." Tony punched the ground. "He's not going to tell."
"No." Bruce agreed, taking off his glasses and polishing them with his shirt.
"It's simple then." Natasha shrugged drawing eyes to her. "We just have to find out ourselves."
"Agreed." Clint said shortly.
"How do we do that?" Steve asked. "You have a plan."
"No." Natasha shook her head. "But plans always come to mind quickly."
"Of course." Tony was grinning now. "After all you have a resident genius to solve your problems."
Thor smiled. "Good. We shall steal the upper hand of battle from my brother and acquire the truth."
Steve however looked doubtful. "And what plan is going to work. I mean this is against Loki. And as you know all the plans we seem to come up with are quirky and weird."
"Right." Tony smiled. "Any plan will work. The quirkier and weirder, the better!" Steve just sighed and resigned himself to this crazy plot.
"So people." Tony rubbed his hands together. "This plan needs a name."
"Hmmm, how about Mission Impossible." Clint suggested. "You know that awesome movie with Tony Cruise and Jeremy Renner in it."
"Nah." Tony dismissed the name. "It has a ring to it…but it sounds like we can't do this thing. You know because it calls itself 'impossible'".
"Change the name slightly then." Steve suggested.
"Like what?" Bruce questioned. "Mission Loki?"
"Urgh." Tony groaned. "It's got the word Loki in it. It'd kill me." He pretended to fall to the ground, mock strangled.
"Mission Discovery?" Steve proposed.
"Bo-ring." Clint sang. "It needs more of a ring to it."
"Well human." Thor rolled his eyes. "If it's not Impossible then just say it's very very hard but actually possible."
"I like it!" Tony exclaimed, picking himself off the floor. "That's it! Mission Very Very Hard but Actually Possible. A done deal."
Natasha rolled her eyes. "Let's just called it a mission and be done with."
"Where's the fun in that." Tony whined. "It's Mission VVHAP."
"Vap?" Thor sounded confused.
"Whatever." Clint leaned back in his chair. "The mission's on and the aim is to find out who is Loki's lover."
Tony smiled. "Let the mission begin."
A/N – Sorry for the long intro. I had a lot to explain. The rest of the story though will be shorter. More drabble like and meant for humor and fun.
So hope you get the gist of the beginning because here comes the mission: avenger style~
Over and out-