Title: The Three Little Piggy Scientists
Author: Shenandoah Risu
Content Flags: really really really bad fic
Characters: Volker, Brody, Lisa, Rush. And Young, incognito.
Word Count: 468
Summary: Once upon a time there were three little piggy scientists working on Destiny...
Author's Notes: Written for a fusion fic challenge at the LJ Comm Stargateland. Quite possibly the worst thing I've ever written. My apologies to the Three Little Pigs and all their fans. I just did it for the points for my team, I swear.
Disclaimer: I don't own SGU. I wouldn't know what to do with it. Now, Young... Young I'd know what to do with. I wouldn't blow his house down. Instead I would blow-... Ummm, never mind.
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The Three Little Piggy Scientists
Once upon a time there were three little piggy scientists working on Destiny, and the time came for them to leave the Bridge and build their own quarters on the giant ship.
Before they left, their commanding officer told them "Whatever you do, do it the best that you can because that's the way to get along in the world."
The first little piggy scientist, Volker, built his quarters out of straw because it was the easiest thing to do.
The second little piggy scientist, Brody, built his quarters out of sticks. This was a little bit stronger than straw quarters.
The third little piggy scientist, Lisa, built her quarters out of bricks.
One night the big bad Rush, who dearly loved to yell at little piggy scientists, came along and saw Volker in his quarters of straw. He said "Let me in, let me in, little Volker, or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your quarters in!"
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin", said Volker.
But of course Rush did blow the quarters in and yell at Volker.
Rush then came to the quarters of sticks.
"Let me in, let me in, little Brody, or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your quarters in!"
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin", said Brody. But Rush blew those quarters in too, and yelled at Brody.
Rush then came to the quarters of bricks.
"Let me in, let me in," cried Rush. "Or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your quarters in!"
"Not by the hair of my chi-… umm… heady head head," said Lisa.
Well, Rush huffed and puffed but he could not blow down those brick quarters.
But Rush was a sly old scientist, and he climbed up to the next level of the ship to look for a way into the brick quarters.
Lisa saw Rush climb up to the level above and called Volker who helped her put a big pot under the air vent, and Brody filled it with his best home-brewed hooch.
When Rush finally found the hole for the air vent he crawled down and KERSPLASH right into that pot of hooch, and that was the end of their troubles with the big bad Rush because he was drunk for weeks and didn't bother them again for quite a while.
The next day the three little piggy scientists invited their commanding officer over. He said "You see, it is just as I told you. The way to get along in the world is to do things as well as you can."
Fortunately for the three little piggy scientists, they learned that lesson. And Brody made more hooch for Rush, and they all lived happily ever after!
Thank goodness. The End.