disclaimer: I do not own The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy nor any of the characters mentioned.


Marvin

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"Funny, how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does."

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Built to have Genuine People Personalities (GPP), Marvin is most obviously a personality prototype. He's been alone for seemingly forever, traveling the vast distances of the universe for the past googilian years (yes, googilian isn't a number— that's the whole point, you twit.) To know the answer to everything— like Dumbledore, but much worse— is the biggest tragedy of Marvin's life. Marvin the Paranoid Android can solve all problems times three, except for his own, of course.

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"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed."

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Miserable cannot even begin to express the way Marvin feels. Being a part of countless and even more meaningless trips throughout this insignificant galaxy with the most ridiculous excuse for company, Marvin has managed to not die— to his utmost disgust. (Pronounce the previous slowly.)

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"Life's bad enough as it is without wanting to invent anymore of it."

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But alas, Marvin's life wasn't always so terrible (depending on your definition of the word) — especially 40 million years ago when he had the best conversation of his life with a coffee machine; or when he met his first and only true friend, a dead rat. After that sad bit, well, let's just say his life isn't at its all-time high (if it ever was…)

Although Marvin is just as depressing as ever, at least you can trust in him that he'll never change.

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"I won't enjoy it."