Summary: He always said if I were to go, he would follow soon after. I just frowned and made him promise to never do that. He made me promise the same. I did. But he also promised me forever. Since he broke his promise, can't I break mine?
My computer has been in the shop for the past…few weeks. I forget. Anyway, I got it back now and I can write again… (Cheer) Yeah. Chapters for the others should be out soon. This one just kind of spilled out and so I'm gonna go with it. Should be completed by the end of the day. Enjoy!
Contains suicide and angst, which is a new thing I'm trying. The angst, not the suicide. Yeah.
DISCLAIMER: Not Stephanie, not even close. Just a girl with a dog that may be trying to imitate zombie noises…
It's been a week since the decided I'm stable enough to be left alone. The house is cold. I'm cold. Everything seems less warm now. I used to love Florida. We lived in Forks, born and raised. Then we grew up and had dreams of places less…sad. So, what better place than Florida? It's called the Sunshine state for a reason, yeah?
The pain never goes away, I know. I haven't felt warm in a while, even though it's the middle of summer. It's usually rainy by this time of year. We get a lot of rain in the summer, strangely. That shocked us a few years ago. To figure out that it did rain occasionally and that the sun didn't shine twenty-four-seven.
Sarcasm, did you sense it?
I deadpan more often these days. Nothing I say sounds a bit funny. I know. They all look at me with pity and worry, but they don't understand, because when they go home, they have their other half with them.
Rose and Emmett live in Florida with us…me. They went to Alabama for college and then moved down to Florida to fulfill Rose's dream of living on the beach. And Emmett would do anything for Rose. They're a few years older than the rest of us. They're trying for kids. Have been for a few years now. Rose is in denial and won't go to the doctors. Em went. He's fertile. I don't like Rosalie a lot. She's close-minded and though sometimes she can be good company, most of the time, she's not. Sometimes I think she only likes Emmett is because he's such a child and all she wants is a child. Emmett kisses the ground she walks on and she kicks the dirt around for the heck of it.
Rose has been over a few times. After she sneered at me and said, "Just get over it already," she wasn't allowed back. Emmett just gave me a small shrug and followed her out. I haven't seen him in a while.
Mom tries, but she doesn't understand either. She has Phil and dad. Yes, both. I know about their affair. Turns out paradise was fun for about a month until Phil had long practices. Mom turned to someone and the one still there to catch her was dad. And he takes being the other man because he loves her. But her. She just needs someone to hold her, make her feel important. It's pathetic, really.
Alice and Jasper flew in from Austin for a few days. Alice couldn't last five minutes without convulsing on the ground in tears. Crocodile tears, of course, because I knew as soon as Jasper dragged her away, her eyes were dry. She's studying in theatrical arts. Dram star all through high school, competitive, manipulative, and extremely controlling, he would make it big someday, I was sure. Jasper followed her. He didn't know where he wanted his life to go, so he went with a history major, then switched to go for a teaching license, but then wanted to pursue music instead.
I never went to school, because I never knew what I wanted to do and I wouldn't go until I knew, so I worked. I went from job to job, trying to make a living here with him, while he went to school. After various fast food failures, I landed a job as a secretary for a carpentry company. All I had to do was answer phones and take messages. My boss was a nice guy who knew I had no type of experience in anything technical and told me to come to him for any problems. Sometimes he would come and sit with me on an off day when he didn't have numbers to work out or houses to build. He would talk about his family and how they were all growing and in return, I'd tell him about my family. He'd laugh and say, "I'm Mexican, I know all about crazy, huge, in-your-face families."
He easily negated my mom's comment that I was a naïve little girl when I told her I was going to Florida and forgoing college for a while.
We were doing good, so good. Things were settling at home, the family drama was easily ignored.
Then one day, out of the blue he tells me he's going to die.
Thinking he's joking, I roll my eyes and turn to face him on the couch. "Everyone has to die,"
At the time, it easily rolled off my tongue, but now my stomach clenches.
He smiles and pecks my nose, wrapping his arms tighter around me. "Not you, you will never die." I snort. "And if you do die...well," He pauses, probably for dramatic effect. He's just like his sister. "...I'll be right after you." He says quietly, kissing my cheek. I didn't like this conversation.
I frown at him. "Don't talk like that." I give him a stern look and he mimics me, before going cross-eyed. I laugh a little easing up. "Promise me," I say, holding his face between my hands. "You have to promise me that if I were to die, you can't follow me like that. I love you, but I love you happy and healthy, you understand?" I poke his nose with mine. "Grow old, get a dog, have...a wife and children," It hurt, but I had to say it. He looked at me with sad eyes and I wanted this conversation to end, so we could be happy again. "Promise," I look right into his eyes. He hesitates. "How would you feel if I went after you?" I ask and his eyes widen slightly before he shakes his head.
"I promise, if you do too. If I go, you can't follow, you have to grow old and have a dog, but if some man touches you, I'll haunt him forever." He says seriously and I burst into laughter. "I'm serious. He'll be in the shower and I'll flush the toilet or something. Oh, he'll be sleeping and I'll put his hand in warm water. I wonder if I'd be able to draw on his face..." I laugh at his terrifying haunting ideas.
"Hey," I say, breaking him from his head. "Remember, only you,"
"Forever," He finishes in a promise.
He broke his promise. I don't have him forever. Not anymore