Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter.
Prompt/Pairing: How about a naked photo of Harry gets sent to all the women of the village and they go nuts. The pairing could be Harry/Anko or Harry/Kurenai, either of the two trying to chase off the other women.
Warnings: Fangirlism, why kunoichi's are demons, Het
Harry didn't know how this happened, but he promised to find the culprit and hurt them in very serious and very creative ways. And laugh the whole time. It was nothing less than they deserved for putting him in this position.
He had moved to Konoha for some peace and quiet, away from the fans and admirers. He had found a lovely girlfriend named Anko, and had enjoyed the quiet time they spent together; fighting with snakes, hunting, and scaring the nosy shinobi that came around. Regular couple things.
Then IT happened. Someone had snapped a photo of Harry while he was enjoying the public hot springs, and circulated the photos throughout the village. Apparently they had made quite a bit of money from the incident.
Harry didn't even know it happened, until a younger kunoichi dropped by the house, drooling, and panting like Uncle Vernon when the new company cars arrive. He had tried to shoo her away, but once she was gone, two popped up in her place. They were like a hydra made of fangirls.
The numbers kept multiplying, until the girls banded together to rip off Harry's clothes to see the real thing in person. When the hands started getting frisky, Harry fled. Fast.
The scent of fangirlism must have spread through the air, because as Harry ran on the rooftops, the girls below, and behind seemed to increase. Looking ahead, Harry saw a beautiful sight, the T&I building. If there was one person that could stop this terrible fate that had befallen him, it was Anko.
Harry rushed inside and ducked under his girlfriend's desk, he would admit it wasn't very manly, but what else could he do? He covered his head and whimpered.
"What's wrong?" Anko asked. She was tossing senbon into the ceiling, and creating a very good replica of the Hokage monument.
"She-demons are t-trying t-to molest me." Harry mumbled into his knees.
Anko didn't wait to hear the rest of the incoherent explanation, as her office door was beaten down, and a flood of drooling and slightly insane girls flooded in. Seeing the pictures clenched tightly in their hands, Anko put two and two together, and smiled.
"I seriously hope you're not trying to touch what is mine." Anko's tongue dripped with acid as she glared at the group. The girls in the front shivered slightly at the slight maniacal giggle at the end of her words, while the girls at the back were still trying to push forward. The sheer volume of fangirls trying to get in, caused Anko's eyes to glint with sadistic pleasure.
Anko slowly withdrew some senbon, and gave the group of girls a wide terrifying grin.
The reactions varied depending on the female. The trained kunoichi hesitated, and briefly considering retreating and cornering Harry another day. The more devoted females ignored the growing killing intent in the room, as their eyes greedily searched for Harry. The more cunning plotted which girls to throw in front of them and use as a meat shield to get to their destination, and a few considered getting Anko's autograph for landing Harry or asking advice. There had to be some secret they could learn.
With one last look down at Harry, Anko jumped into the middle of the screaming fan girls, and started swinging. Knowing not to directly kill any of them, because then she would probably get in trouble from the Hokage, Anko used to senbon to hit their pressure points and knock them out.
Quickly the numbers of drooling girls were dropping, but there were still quite a few, fighting their way into the room and stepping over the body of the fallen girls. They didn't seem to care for the lurking danger as long as they got to see Harry. Anko could relate, but she refused to allow another woman to touch what she had gained through effort and skill. As more entered, Anko's giggles got louder and louder. She hadn't had this much fun in a long while.
Harry stayed under the desk, hiding his face, and muttering to himself about the new Ginny and Colin's. Memories he was hoping to forever avoid until he saw the pictures, and one particular redheaded fan girl that had managed to cut a lock of his hair, and then proceeded to pray to Kami-sama for Harry's soul. It was sufficiently creeped out by her.
When the office went silent, Harry slowly peaked over the edge of the desk to see Anko sitting on top of a pile of bodies, happily cleaning off all the senbon she retrieved.
"Are they all knocked out?" Harry whispered, afraid that any loud noise would awake the possessed pile of fan girls. One could never be too careful.
"They won't be a problem for awhile." Anko reassured him as she jumped down from her seat, and walked towards Harry. Once she was standing beside him, she gently reached up, and smacked him on the back of the head.
"Ow! What was that for?" Harry pouted as he rubbed the sore spot.
"Are you a wizard or not? You could have Apparated here and not dragged the rabid flock with you." Anko reprimanded him.
"Oh, yeah... I forgot about that." Harry admitted, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.
"Hopeless... completely hopeless." Anko said affectionately.
"I could take you on a dango date to thank you for saving me." Harry guiltily shuffled his feet as he made the offer.
"Well, you do know the way to a girl's heart."
Harry loved Anko. Anko Loved Harry. And they both loved dango so it worked.