The last 15 seconds of the previous episode are shown.

JULES: Travis, you know, there is something else to be celebrating tonight

TRAVIS: What's that, mom?

(Camera zooms out to reveal a clock. The time reads 12:15.)

JULES: (singing) Happy birthday to you.

(Travis is noticeably cringing, as Laurie and Bobby pick up the song.)

JULES, LAURIE, and BOBBY: Happy Birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear -

(Jules waves her hands frantically. Finally, Ellie, Grayson, and Andy join in.

JULES, LAURIE, BOBBY, ANDY, ELLIE, and GRAYSON: Travis. Happy birthday to you.

BOBBY: (wiping his eyes) I can't believe it, twenty-one years old.

JULES: (wiping her eyes) I know. Our little boy is all grown up. So, Laurie, will you be spending the night?

TRAVIS: Way to be subtle, mom.

LAURIE: No, I have to go home. There are still a few things I need to discuss with Wade. Peace out, homes.

TRAVIS: Bye, Laurie.

(Laurie grabs Travis by the shoulders and kisses him on the mouth, hard, for ten seconds.)

LAURIE: Bye, Trav.

(Travis collapses into his chair. He tries to get up and fails, miserably. He then tries to say something.)

TRAVIS: Buhla.

ELLIE: (bitch-grinning) Isn't that sweet. You kissed lover boy senseless.

(Laurie smiles and exits.)

JULES: (grinning) Be nice, Ellie. Travis has been waiting a long time for this. (to Travis) So, when are you two going to do the deed?

TRAVIS: Ugh, mom!

ANDY: I better get going, too. Good luck, Travis. (to Ellie) You coming?

ELLIE: Be there in a few, boo, but you go along.

BOBBY: Bye, Andy. (Andy exits.) I better get going, too. The crows got loose (Grayson grimaces), so I have to round them up and put them back in the oven. Later, guys.

JULES: Bye, Bobby.

TRAVIS: Bye, dad.

BOBBY: Night, Trav. (He exits.)

JULES: So, Travis, when are you and Laurie going to do it?

TRAVIS: I don't know, we want to wait a little first, maybe in-. (He pauses.) I mean. This is none of your business.

JULES: Of course it's my business. You're my son.

ELLIE: And I want to hear every juicy detail.

JULES: And don't forget to use protection.

ELLIE: Yeah, who knows what kind of diseases Jellybean might have.

GRAYSON: For the love of God!

JULES: What, sweetie?

GRAYSON: Could the two of you just lay off? Can't you just be happy for Travis?

(Jules looks at Ellie, and they both smile.)


GRAYSON: God! (He storms out of the room.)

ELLIE: What's gotten into him?

JULES: I think he's just nervous about the wedding.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that's what it is. I'm going to bed. Goodnight, mom, Mrs. Torres.

JULES: Planning for a big day tomorrow?

ELLIE: You hoping Jellybean will give you a special birthday present?

TRAVIS: (dripping with sarcasm) Mom, I'm really lucky to have you. Mrs. Torres, a pleasure as always. (He exits.)

(Jules and Ellie smile at each other and crack up laughing.)


Welcome to


Yay! The title makes sense again.



JULES: Do we have any champagne left?

ELLIE: Just one bottle.

JULES: Big Lou needs a refill.

(Ellie pops open the bottle of champagne and empties its contents into the large glass in front of Jules.)

JULES (CONT'D.): Do you think we are too harsh on Travis?

(Jules once again thinks of Ellie as her husband that should have been. She would never have this conversation with Bobby or Grayson.)

ELLIE: (laughing) Yeah, right. (beat) My God, you're serious? (Jules nods.) Well, maybe a little, but he's such a cute kid, and he's even cuter when he's nervous or upset.

JULES: I see what you're saying. (beat) Wait a minute. You haven't called Travis cute in like ten years. (shocked) Oh, my God, you're crushing on my son.

(Jules's expression now changes from shock to triumph. She can't remember the last time she outsmarted Ellie.)

JULES (CONT'D): You're jealous of Laurie!

ELLIE: Well, maybe a little. Sometimes I fantasize-.

JULES: You fantasize about my son?

ELLIE: Not like that. I just think that if I hadn't married Andy, maybe something could have happened between me and Travis. Nothing serious, just a little fun.

(Jules pauses as more pieces fit together in her mind.)

JULES: You're not prying for details because you want to tease Laurie. You want to live vicariously through her.

ELLIE: (mortified) No. (beat) Okay, maybe a little. He is really cute.

JULES: You already said that. Okay, I'll make sure we get every detail. (grinning) Don't think I won't use this to blackmail you, though.

ELLIE: (grinning) I'd expect nothing less.



Laurie is laying on her bed, holding a data tablet. Zoom in to see WADE'S face on tablet. Laurie is clearly distraught. As joyous as this time has been for her, it is even more stressful.

WADE: Hey, Laurie.

LAURIE: Hey, Wade. I think we should talk. I'm still a little upset about we ended things.

WADE: No, babe, don't be. What we had was great while it lasted, but I think it's time for you to move forward.

LAURIE: You're not upset?

WADE: No, not at all. Look, you said Travis is your best friend, right?

LAURIE: Well, his mother is. He's my second best friend.

WADE: Okay, close enough. And you enjoy his friendship?

LAURIE: Yes, a lot.

WADE: Do you have any idea how lucky you are? I don't have any close female friends, but what you and Travis have, that's special. It's something no one can take away from you. Because twenty, thirty years from now, once the attraction fades, you'll still be best friends. Now, that's truly magical, don't you think?

LAURIE: I guess you're right. But, what about us?

WADE: When you broke up with me, it was Travis who brought us back together, but that was before you realized you were in love with him. What we had was nice, but it won't be anywhere near as good as what you can have with him.

LAURIE: Where does this leave us?

WADE: I know everyone says it, but I hope we can stay friends.

LAURIE: Not to me they don't. (beat) You want to see them again, for old time's sake?

WADE: No, let Travis enjoy them now; he's waited long enough.

LAURIE: Ok, Wade. Goodnight, and stay safe.

WADE: Goodnight, Laurie.

Laurie presses a button on the tablet screen, it goes blank, and she puts down the tablet and starts crying.



Grayson is asleep in bed. Jules enters.

JULES: You had no right to say that in front of my friends.

GRAYSON: (groggily) What? I'm sleeping.

Jules turns on the lights. Grayson sits up abruptly and rubs his eyes.

GRAYSON: God, woman, can't you let a man get some sleep?

JULES: You really embarrassed me in front of my friends.

GRAYSON: Not half as much as you and Ellie embarrassed Travis.

JULES: He's my son. I'm allowed to embarrass him.

GRAYSON: And Ellie?

JULES: She's my best friend; it comes with the title.

GRAYSON: It's a wonder Travis isn't more messed up than he is.

JULES: What's that?

GRAYSON: Nothing, never mind.

JULES: That's right, never mind.

GRAYSON: Can we just go to sleep now?

JULES: Okay, fine.

GRAYSON: Goodnight, honey.

JULES: Goodnight.

Grayson turns the lights out and