Fandom: Home Alone
Summary: Set during the first movie, this is an "extended scene" on when Harry and Marv are robbing the Murphy's house which is across the street of Kevin McCalister.
"So, which house are we breaking into first?"
"I told ya already. We're breaking into the house on Lincoln Boulevard-"
"But I thought-They aren't gone yet—"
Harry Lyme glanced over at the man who was sitting next to him in the van, not appreciating the fact that he had just been cut off. He gave him a quick glare before focusing his eyes back on the road. "And people say ya don't pay attention, Marv" he snapped sarcastically.
Marv Merchants grimaced at the insult, leaning further back into the run down passenger seat and staring at his collection of mini snow globes on the dashboard. "So…..They ARE gone?"
Harry sighed. "They sure weren't last night. Someone turned on that light. I'll bet they're leavin' today. In all the chaos that was goin' on in that house when I was pretendin' to be the cop, it would be no surprise to me if he gave me the wrong day by mistake."
Marv nodded, touching one of the snow globes and securing it better to the dashboard.
"So, we're going there now?"
"No!" snarled Harry. "We're goin' to the other house we marked on Lincoln Boulevard; the Murphy's house. The house you're thinkin' of is the McCalister house; the jewel of all houses!"
"Riiiight" guffawed Marv, a goofy smile playing on his lips.
It didn't take them long to get the Lincoln Boulevard for they were staying in a run-down apartment building across the small city in Chicago. For weeks Harry had planned out which houses they were going to rob. Eventually they planned to rob all of them; since most everyone was on vacation; but their biggest two hit targets just happened to be right across the street from one another; Murphy and McCalister.
Marv smiled, thinking about all that they would be able to steal from both of the houses. His chocolate eyes lit up at the thought. He had known Harry for years now, basically ever since he was a young teenager and he had always looked up to Harry and always considered him to be like family. Though in the past year, his feelings had deepened for the short-tempered man and it could no longer be stated to simply be brotherly.
After what had seemed like an eternity to Marv, Harry had finally admitted having some similar feelings, but he had also told him not to get carried away. "It's mutual, sure. But don't do that lovey dovey shit on me. I don't want ya getting' all gaga like some dumb broad! We have work to do!"
Marv had agreed and promised Harry he wouldn't do anything of the like. Though that didn't mean there weren't days when he hoped Harry would loosen up and allow their relationship to take a step forward. It wasn't that they didn't do things together or weren't intimate. No, they did that. But Marv was a sensitive guy at heart and liked the little things in life and simply wished Harry would show his appreciation to him every now and then.
Marv was brought back to reality when Harry made a left turn and brought their blue plumbing van into the driveway of the Murphy house. The van screeched to a stop, proving that the brakes needed oiled. Harry cut the engine, yet before Marv could move to open the passenger door, Harry grabbed his wrist, earning him a curious look.
Harry leaned in and stared hard at Marv. "Don't do what ya did last time!" he hissed.
Marv shifted uncomfortably in his spot, knowing exactly what Harry was talking about. "….I won't…." he mumbled reluctantly before snatching his wrist back and getting out of the van.
Harry opened his door and got out. "Don't forget to lock it!" he called over to Marv.
Marv, who had just slammed his door shut, grunted and rolled his eyes, opening the door back up and locking it. He slammed the door shut. "There! Happy?"
Harry, who was walking to the back door to the house, scoffed. "Not yet, but I'm gonna be once we get inside this joint! I can just imagine all the goodies in here!" He pulled out his crowbar which had been hidden in his thick winter jacket. Marv pulled out his own from his coat. They smiled at each other with identical grins. "Crow bars up!" They tapped the crow bars together at the top and snickered before Harry got busy busting the door open.
It didn't take the shorter burglar long to get the door open. He cackled as the door swung open and they walked inside.
They walked into the kitchen, which was done in blues and whites for their décor theme. As they inched further inside, Marv shut the door behind them. Harry, being in front, peered to the left and saw the living room, where a Christmas tree was a decorated and presents surrounding on the floor.
Marv smiled widely, looking like a little kid on Christmas Day. Harry stepped into the threshold of the living room, whistling when he noted the amount of expensive looking vases and knick knacks throughout the room.
Marv was about to follow him when he gave a cry of fright. "Ahhhh!"
Harry flinched, nearly dropping his crow bar and whipped around to see what had happened. He raised his crow bar threateningly; ready for whatever was going on. He froze though when his eyes landed on Marv and found the lanky man to be perfectly fine. Marv was staring at the wall next to the door with terrified eyes as he leaned away from it; as though he was expecting it to hurt him.
"What?"exclaimed Harry, shaking his head. He didn't understand what was going on. "What is it?Marv?"
Stammering and making little squeaking noises, Marv pointed at the wall distressingly. "Uh….ehh….That—"
Harry, unsure of why Marv was behaving in such a way, cautiously peered around the doorway and at what Marv was pointing it. He made a deadpan face when he saw what all the commotion was.
On the wall sat a little black spider.
Harry made a face as he turned to look up at Marv. "You're kiddin' me. Tell me you're jokin'" he pleaded.
Marv gulped. "It's a spider, Harry! You KNOW how much I HATE spiders! Ugh!" He shivered at the idea that a spider was so close to him.
Harry shook his head with a look of disgust before pointing at the spider. "It's no bigger than my thumb nail!"
"So? It's still a spider!" argued Marv. "I hate the way they crawl! They have so many legs and –ugh!"
"You're a baby, you know that? A baby!"
"I am not!" claimed Marv.
"Fine then. If you're not a baby—Touch it! Touch it and prove to me you're not a baby!"
"Touch it?" screeched Marv incredulously.
"Yeah! It's fine. Look-I'll do it!" reasoned Harry. He took a finger and touched the spider, making the little critter quickly move up the wall a bit before settling in a new place. Marv groaned as it moved. "See? No harm done!"
Marv pouted and bit at his nails, staring at the spider on the wall. After waiting for Marv to touch the spider for a good minute and half, Harry finally gave up. "Fine! Don't touch it! Just proves you're a baby!" He turned to go back into the living room. "Meanwhile, I've got a house to rob!"
Marv let out another groan before inching his way into the living room, being sure to lean as far away from the spider as possible as he did so. He watched as Harry started kicking at the colorfully wrapped Christmas presents on the floor.
"Are we opening these up? They're not for us…" he asked before he could stop himself.
Harry, who was about to open a large red colored present, looked up at him. "No, Marv. We're not opening them up. We're just gonna leave them here and admire them from a distant….Of COURSE we're openin' them!"
Marv flinched and quickly grabbed a present. He shook it and listened, trying to figure out what was inside. Unable to figure it out, he started ripping off the paper, setting his crow bar down on the carpeted floor. Once the wrapping paper was off he could see that it was a box that claimed it to be a scuba mask. "Cool!" He tore open the box and pulled away all the plastic. He admired them for a moment before placing them on.
Harry looked up to see what he had done yet made no further comment. He knew Marv was childish and odd and after the spider incident, he didn't feel like he could handle anymore stupidity from his partner. Harry, in the meantime, had found a remote control car and began hooking it up. He had always liked them as a kid. After grabbing the stockings, Marv had found a small little snow globe.. "Cool! This can be added to my collection!" The lanky man stuffed it into his breast pocket gleefully.
"Found another snow globe, did ya?" asked Harry.
"Yep!" claimed Marv proudly.
Harry shook his head. "What a strange hobby….Collectin' snow globes."
"I like 'em! Especially these small ones!" He pulled out a piece of gum and popped it into his mouth, knowing he would need it later.
After the two of them continued to open more presents, finding a little bit of everything, including a new television and a Kaleidoscope, Harry thought it best if they would start focusing on the rest of the house.
"Marv, why don't you get a bag and start gathering up anything valuable-lookin' in the house?" he suggested, plugging in the red remote car.
Marv nodded, pulling his attention away from the new cassette player in his hands. He stood, pulled off the scuba mask, and went back out to the van and grabbed a bag. After coming back in, he stepped around the spider that was still at the doorway. He could see Marv looking at the spider wearily even after he was out of its way.
Harry glanced up as he did this and sighed. He dropped the remote control and stepped stood up beside Marv. He decided it was time to tease him a bit. "Ya know, Marv, if you're scared of a tiny little thing like that, I'd hate to see what you're like if you ever saw a tarantula in real life." He spoke with fake sympathy.
Marv blinked at him, immediately nervous. "A what?"
"Ya know, a tarantula. A GIANT spider that lives in the jungle" he informed his childish friend.
"Giant spider?" gumped Marv, taking a step back and fiddling with the bag.
Harry nodded slowly. "Mhm….Some of them can get to be the size of your palm…."
"You're palm?" squeaked Marv, practically breaking into a sweat. He glanced down at his own hand and shuddered as he imagined a spider that big.
Harry continued to speak to him calmly. "Mhm…..Yeah….so next time ya get all freaked out over a tiny spider like that….ya just remember those tarantulas….Boy, it sure is a good thing ya won't be seein' one of those around here though."
"Nope. They don't live in Chicago, so the chances of ya runnin' into one of them is pretty slim" he assured Harry.
"Oh…..good…" sighed Marv with relief.
"Except the one that's behind ya."
"WHERE?" cried out Marv, ducking and turning around to face the wall. Just as he did this, Harry took a hand and slapped Marv hard in the face, causing the taller man to cry out in pain. Marv nearly tumbled from the impact and turned back to Harry, holding his cheek.
"Ow! Harry! You did that on purpose!" accused Marv angrily.
"Figured it out, did ya?" sneered Harry, glaring at the taller man with a scowl. "Now stop your snivelin'! You remind of a damn girl! Now stop foolin' around and start collectin' stuff! We can't be here all day! And if I see ya cower from that spider one more time I'm gonna shove it up your nose!"
Marv took a step towards the other room, rubbing his cheek and heading into the other room; yet bot before snatching the scuba mask and putting it back on.
Harry, content for the moment, continued to play with the little red car. He sat there on his knees, smiling as he watched the car move back and forth; his gold tooth shining in the light.
Marv, meanwhile, started doing as Harry asked him, though with his scuba mask on everything was a bit bleary.
Marv meanwhile, is in the next room making as much racket as possible. He has a scuba mask on as he is doing this. He is shoved everything off the shelves with his crow bar and stuffed all that fell into the bag in his hand.
He upturned everything in the room and knocked over a lamp, which started flickering off and on. It was a cheap plastic and therefore nothing they would be interested in. He pulled out all the drawers to the cabinets, snaking his hands though everything to see if there was anything good. He pulled rugs off the back of chairs and upturned the small table in front of the couch. This was his favorite part of robbing a house; making a mess.
Marv, making all the noise in the world as everything clanked and slammed together, walked over to a cabinet with glass windows and opened it up, taking his crowbar and shoving all the expensive looking statues off the shelves and into his bag. This caused even more noise.
Harry looked up, hearing all the noise his partner in crime was making. "You're one of the great cat burglars in the world, Marv. You think you can keep it down a little in there, huh?" he sighed and went back to the little red car. He tossed aside the remote and picked up a golden kaleidoscope.
It was at this moment that the phone rang. Harry ignored it as he raised the kaleidoscope up to the windows where there was more light. Marv, on the other hand, walked over to the answering machine that was on a table near him. He stared at it through his scuba mask.
The answering machine came on a moment later. "Hi, you've reached the Murphy's. Please leave a message after you hear the beep" said the voice of Mr. Murphy.
A new voice rang from the machine. "Hey. It's Peter McCalister again….and we're still in Paris at my brother's apartment." Marv grabbed the answering machine and inspected it closely, wishing his scuba mask would allow him to see better. "Let me give you the number. The country code is 3-3. The area code is 1-4" As Peter continued his message, Marv looked over to Harry, before looking back at the machine. "And the number is: 694-876—"
Marv finally spoke up, drowning out the rest of the message.
"Yeah?" replied Harry as he spun the kaleidoscope.
"That house we were at last night, was that the McCalisters?"
"You're right. They're gone."
Harry stopped looking into the kaleidoscope and turned to smile at Marv, his gold tooth shining. He nodded knowingly. "I knew they were."
"Silver tuna tonight! Heh heh heh." Snickered Marv as he continued to make a mess of things in the other room.
Harry looked back into the kaleidoscope and spun it, watching all the colors swirl around. "Wow."
After about an hour of playing around with the presents, the bandits collected everything they wanted to steal and started carting everything out into the van. As Harry walked out the door, he could see Marv eyeing the sink. "Don't EVEN think about it! Come on!"
After several more trips, Harry still wouldn't let Marv get the chance to clog the sinks like he wanted to. On his final trip out to the van, Marv looked back at the house yearningly. He glanced at the van to see Harry was setting things up in the back.
With a look of determination, Marv leaned into the side of the van and said, "Hey, Harry! Be right back! I-I think I forgot something!"
"Make it snappy!" barked Harry as he went to climb into the driver's seat, his mind busy thinking of other matters.
Stealthily, Marv grabbed a bag he had around brought out along with a small VCR and walked back into the house with them. That way it would look like had forgotten something. In reality though, he was going to clog that sink.
After stepping back into the kitchen, Marv chuckled as he stuffed the sink's drains with thick dish towels. He switched on the faucets to full, laughing and chewing on some gum. He threw the bag of loot over his shoulder and walked out of the kitchen.
He walked out the back door, still laughing, and went to meet Harry at the van.
He stuffed his loot with the rest of the stuff in the back and Harry noticed he was laughing as he was rubbing his hands together.
"What's so funny?" Marv didn't reply, instead he simply continued laughing as he got into the passenger's side. "What's so funny? What are you laughing about?" Marv got in and rubbed his hands together. Harry narrowed his eyes at him. "You did it again, didn't you?"
Marv pulled out the gum he was chewing and pulled out the small snow globe he's found earlier and stuck it the dashboard of the van.
"You left the water runnin', didn't ya? What's wrong with ya? Why do ya do that? I've told ya not to do it" reprimanded Harry.
"Harry, it's our calling card!" insisted Marv. "All the great ones leave their mark. We're the Wet Bandits."
Harry gave him a look of disgust. "You're sick, you know that? Really sick." He turned to key to the van and turned it on, turning up the heat.
"I'm not sick!"
"Yes, you are! That's a sick thing to do!" Harry pushed on the gas and slowly started driving out of the driveway.
"I'm not sick!"
Harry shook his head angrily. "It's just that we don't need that kind of heat!"
"Don't tell me what to do! I can do it if I want to!" Marv truly hated it when Harry told him what to do. If he wanted to clog the sinks and call themselves the 'Wet Bandits' he would. "I'm not sick!" he declared one last time. He glanced out at the road as Harry continued to glare at him. "HEY WATCH OUT!" shouted Marv as they headed straight for a little boy walking on the sidewalk.
Harry slammed on the brakes, causing them to screech loudly. They could hear the boy screaming. The van came to an abrupt stop and both bandits looked out the front windshield with wide eyes, wondering if the boy was still alive. Neither of them were aware that they had come centimeters away from running over a kid named Kevin McCalister, who would end up ruining their lives.
Author's Note: And the rest is history. This was just a little one-shot that I suddenly thought up and decided to write up. Just a little filler on what happens between scenes on the movie. A longer look at what happens when they are robbing the Murphy's house. I hope you all liked it. Please review!