Breathe No More
Summary: After an interesting talk with Sebastian Kurt makes a choice believing it will be best for Blaine's future. Songfic. Warning Trigger/Character Death.
Note: I do not own Glee, Evanescence or their amazing music. Don't hate me for this.
Kurt walked into the Lima Bean. He knew coming here probably wasn't the best decision. If he had Blaine by his side he'd probably feel a lot more safer. But that's why he was here to talk about Blaine.
"Well.. Well.. Well I actually thought you weren't going to show up."
"What do you want from me Sebastian?" Sebastian smiled pleased with the irritation in Kurt's voice.
"Ok if we are just going to the point then… I wanted to tell you that Blaine is going to break up with you. He's going to leave you for me." He said with a wicked smile.
"Enough! Enough of your god damn lies! I'm sick and tired of them and your little games!" Kurt said with nothing but rage filling his voice.
"As much as it would humor me to play with your pathetic emotions its real. You see my father the district attorney happens to be really close friends with Blaine's father. It seems like Mr. Anderson doesn't really like you in fact he hates you. So my father had a talk with him. Seems like even though he hates that his son is gay he would rather see him with me than you." Kurt froze at the statement. It seemed evil enough to be true.
Kurt got his phone and dialed Blaine's number. 'Please pick up.' Blaine usually answered the phone by the third ring instead on the third ring he got this…
"Hey you've reached my voicemail box. Which means I'm either busy or yeah just busy ha so leave your name and number." Kurt couldn't believe it everyone knows if it rings 9 to 12 rings that the person obviously hasn't noticed their phone going off. Three rings and a voicemail meant Blaine not only saw his name and call but he hit the ignore button.
"Let me guess no answer. Told you. Right now he's probably trying to come up with a way to get rid of you quickly. When are you going to learn that I'm what's best for him. Your living off a wild fantasy. You will never make it in New York!"
"Shut up!" Kurt yelled tears in his eyes.
"When are you going to learn that you are dragging him down? Kurt please get your head out the clouds and back down to reality. You know in your heart that I'm better in everyway. So please when he ends it with you let it go. Or better just disappear."
Kurt couldn't take it anymore he had to get out. He rose from his chair and headed towards the door.
"Oh Kurt one last thing." Kurt turned his head to see Sebastian smile. "Happy Birthday."
'More like the worst birthday I've ever had.' Kurt thought as he left and hoped into the car.
Unbeknownst to Kurt Blaine was at the mall. He searching for a ring that Kurt would adore. He had the whole night planned. He'd take Kurt to a new fancy restaurant in Westerville and then take Kurt to the staircases where they met and ask for Kurt's hand in marriage. If he'd answered the call earlier he would've spilled the beans a bit.
Although now that information would be so good. Kurt ran in his home. Everyone had left earlier Finn was picking up Rachel for a date and Burt and Carole where still in D.C. Just to be on the safe side Kurt ran into his private bathroom. No one should see his weakness. He had his hands holding on the sides of the sink and was gasping as he cried. He finally looked in the mirror. Starring at the pathetic person that he is.
"I don't deserve to be here! I DON'T DERSERVE ANYTHING! I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE!" he screamed at his reflection.
I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side
He punched the mirror causing it to shatter and lie upon the floor. He gazed down and cried. He had to snap out of this. He looked at the broken reflection. Broken like him. He reached down to his shattered self only to cut his finger. He hissed in pain an raised his finger to see the injury. There on his finger was a droplet of blood rising.
All the little pieces falling shatter
Shards of me,
Too sharp to put back together.
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
If I try to touch her,
And I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no more
'I have to stop. I have to stop now. But why?' Kurt debated with himself. One part of him was telling g him to stop. That Sebastian's just messing with him again. But a more powerful part of his mind was telling him to go on.
Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
The memories of his nightmarish past came to the light. He remembered how he was branded like a plague. He had 'caught' the gay and it was best to stay away because you can catch it. Then he was also made a freak when it came out that he suffered from depression. He remembers how people said if he became straight or no longer needed his medication that he world will make more sense. They talked but they refused to help.
Lie to me,Convince me that I've been sick all of this,Will make sense when I get better.
Kurt looked back at the shattered reflection. He finally saw why Sue called him porcelain. He was so pale like them and fragile like them. Such a beautiful doll he was. But Kurt thought how different the reflection was from the real him. The reflection was perfect in everyway. Beautiful one might say. But the real Kurt is ugly and damaged. He is in no way perfect.
Now that he thought about it. Blaine always told him how beautiful he looked. But he has been acting strange lately. Especially when Kurt tries to show his love and try to be near Blaine he's always say he's got something to do or somewhere to be. Which springs one question.
'Does he love me or my looks?' Kurt asked himself crying even harder.
But I know the difference,Between myself and my reflection.I just can't help but to wonder,Which of us do you love.
"Fine I will release you Blaine and whom ever else is unfortunately bound to me. I will do like I was asked. I'll disappear." Kurt grabbed one of the shards of glass and was about to cut when he stopped. "I need to say goodbye first." Kurt went into his room and grabbed his laptop.
"Hi everyone if your watching this I'm dead. I uh…(sniff) I got tired. I realized I am tying you all down. So I have to say even though I did drag you all down I loved each and everyone of you. My…my body should be in the bathroom. I'm sorry but I must like someone told me disappear. I know it will hurt but you will all move on. Blaine I hope you have a happy life with Sebastian. I wish you all a happy life. Goodbye."
Kurt put his laptop to where anyone can see it as they entered the house.
"This is it goodbye world." He went up to his bathroom and grabbed a piece of mirror and without a second thought he slashed his wrist. Letting the blood come out. He could feel himself being pulled into sleep. Eternal sleep.
So I bleed,I bleed,And I breathe,I breathe no...Bleed,Blaine entered the house quietly. 'Poor Kurt probably thought we forgot his birthday.' They all thought. He carefully walked up the stairs now besides Kurt door. He opened the door and entered the bedroom.
"Happy Birthday Love!" He looked around and saw no sign of Kurt. "Kurt where are you?" His eyes continued to search for Kurt when he caught sight of a bright yellow sticky note on Kurt's laptop. It said 'Watch Me'. Blaine was puzzled at first but then had some unpure thoughts and hit play.
"Hi everyone if your watching this I'm dead." Kurt said Blaine froze in shock this had to be a cruel joke. "I uh…(sniff) I got tired. I realized I am tying you all down. So I have to say even though I did drag you all down I loved each and everyone of you. My…my body should be in the bathroom…" Blaine got up and ran to the bathroom. "NO!" Blaine yelled as he saw the love of his life lying on the floor in a pool of blood. He ran to Kurt and held his limp body close to him. "Kurt baby wake up." Blaine cried tears streaming down his cheeks.
"Blaine…" Kurt said ever so faintly.
"Shh… save your breath you'll be better soon just wait."
"I'm sorry Blaine. I did it because I love you." After those word escaped Blaine lent down to capture his lovers lips.
And I breathe,I breathe,I breathe-
Their lips parted and Kurt's body became limp and cold.
"KURT!"I breathe no more.