Cherry on Top
A/N: I am not sure why this happened. A lot of authors say, I just need to get this off my chest and then I'll go back to updating my multichapters, and I have. But, still, no inspiration to write more worthwhile stuff, so you get this. Enjoy, I guess? Don't own Death Note.
"Look, if I do it, then you'll just up my Kira percentage because supposedly I'm demonstrating aggression and sadism even though you made me do it," Light said in exasperation.
"I would never force Light-kun to act in a way that incriminates himself," L said. "He has the right not to testify against himself, which in America is called pleading the fifth, although currently the Japanese term escapes me, if they even have such a clause."
"I don't care if you don't remember what it's called, and I don't know either; I just know that I would much rather you did it than I."
"How do you expect me to maintain my abilities of rationalization when you insist on my doing this, Light-kun?"
"You aren't supposed to rationalize when you do this, Ryuuzaki," Light said impatiently.
"There you are! You are clearly scheming against me, Light-kun. You plan on making me lose my senses so you can eliminate my suspicion of your being Kira! That, and you know that I do not appreciate any part of my body being confined in tight spaces. There is no doubt that you are plotting my detriment," L said rather blandly for such a paranoid statement.
"How are you planning to keep your position in the meantime, if you make me do it?"
L blushed slightly. "I… well, I will, uh, crouch… above, er…" He averted his eyes and did not continue.
"Ryuuzaki, I didn't realize you had thought this through so thoroughly," Light said mockingly. L blushed harder. "Could it be that you're knowledgeable than I thought you were? But of course, you and the Internet are fast friends."
"Actually, I have never done this before," L said. "Which is why I am asking you to do it, since I would probably do a poor job and displease your nitpicky Highness."
"That must have taken a lot of pride to come out and say, Ryuuzaki. I'm shocked."
"Will Light-kun just accept my sincerity and do it now?" L said, his voice beginning to show the slightest strains of irritation.
"You'll have to beg me for it. And really mean it, too."
L glared. Was his dignity worth it?
"And even then, I probably won't listen." Light smirked. "I was thinking - "
"When are you not thinking, Light-kun?"
" - that this would be the perfect way to get Misa off my back."
"If I tell her that I did it, she'll just think that I'm letting off stress, and that I still love her and want to respect her by waiting. Or some such old-fashioned nonsense. But if you do it, she'll be forced to accept that she can't give me what I want. She'll realize her own inadequacy!"
"It's no fault of her own," L murmured compassionately.
"Ryuuzaki, stop stalling. I know you want it as much as I do. I'm tired of arguing, and unless you want to spend tonight with your hand, I suggest you get over here and fuck me already," Light finally snapped.
L weighed his options. He could 1) let himself and Light spend a very dissatisfied night alone and take it out on the task force in the morning, or 2) he could give in to Light and do it his way.
"Hurry up," Light said from the bed, where he was already appropriately attired for the event. "There's no need to bring lube."
"But Light-kun, it's cherry-flavored," L whined.
"Fine then. But hurry up, please."
That was all you had to say, Light-kun, L smiled internally. Pretty please with a cherry on top.