I'm bored. And I have way too much time on my hands. So, I came up with this little fanfic idea about Kurt and Blaine arguing about dogs ('Cause there's an awful lot of Katy Perry vs. Lady Gaga arguments between them in fanfiction). This story takes place at the end of season 2. I do not own Glee, it belongs to Fox.
"So, New York, huh?"
Blaine and Kurt sat on the couch in the Hudson-Hummel's living room. It was raining outside, and they just finished watching a movie and talking about Kurt's plans after high school.
Kurt nodded. "I feel like I belong there. Broadway is fun and exciting..."
Blaine smiled and nodded. "It does sound fun. I'd love to move to New York with you and be a Broadway star with you."
"You'd really go to New York with me?" Kurt asked with shining eyes.
"I'll go anywhere with you. As long as I don't have to cook." Blaine stated simply.
Kurt chuckled softly. "Sweetheart, if you promise not to cook, I will take you with me anywhere."
Blaine chuckled in return. He sighed. "Just imagine. You and me in a large, brightly lit New York penthouse filled with posters and CDs of every artist and Broadway star known to man, bright furniture- ooh! Plus a cute little doggy!"
"Uh, heh. No." Kurt wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"I don't like dogs." Kurt stated simply.
Blaine gaped at his boyfriend in shock. "You...you don't like dogs? But why?"
"Because they're expensive to take care of, they leave messes everywhere, they bark at everything that moves, they shed, they leave a dry patch on your skin if they lick or sniff you, they beg for food like a homeless person, and they're just plain needy and annoying." Kurt explained.
"But they're cuddly and friendly and loyal!" Blaine exclaimed.
"So are boyfriends." Kurt winked.
"Okay...well...I'm not saying I would do this, but, sometimes friends and boyfriends betray you and are mean." Blaine replied. "Dogs always sense that something's wrong and all they want to do is comfort you and make it all better. That's why they're man's best friends!"
"I'd much rather be comforted by words instead of physical affection, thank you very much." Kurt said, nodding.
Blaine sighed. Kurt can be so stubborn sometimes. "You know, they also protect the house or apartment."
"Yeah, and once the visitor is let in, they turn back to being friendly." Kurt rolled his eyes. "I swear: a rapist or a burglar could barge in and they would still think that they're there to play with them."
Blaine blinked a few times in order to understand what Kurt just said. "Uh...okay...well...you could also always give them leftovers."
"Or we could save our leftovers so we wouldn't have to cook or buy food so often." Kurt argued back. "Or if Finn's around, give the leftovers to him."
Blaine sighed. "I guess that's true. Dogs will also leap to your defense if you're being attacked."
"Yeah- and they can't tell the difference between being attacked or being playful." Kurt stated. "You're losing the argument, here."
"Okay, just a few more selling points: dogs have been known to sniff out bombs, find missing people, help out blind people and help catch criminals!" Blaine said.
"Trained working dogs. Not house pets." Kurt rolled his eyes.
Blaine groaned. "Why are you so stubborn?"
Blaine was getting desperate. "Um...well, did you know that stroking your pet dog helps you feel better when you're sick."
"So? That's all psychological." Kurt shrugged. "You can just stroke your own hair or something made of fur and it'll have the same effect. Also, they could give you rabies or some sort of virus if they scratch you."
"Okay...so then why do you have a crush on Jacob Black and Max Goof? They're both dogs."
"They're fictional characters." Kurt pointed out. "I don't mind them in movies, TV shows, books, on articles of clothing and jewelry and stuff, but otherwise..."
"Well, at...least dogs will love you no matter what. They just want to be loved in return." Blaine made a sad puppy face.
"Well, you know what? Not everybody has to like everybody." Kurt stated.
"You know, people who don't like dogs are generally not very nice people."
"Well, then I guess I'm not a nice person, then."
"You are relentless!" Blaine threw up his arms in frustration.
"Oh, you love me and you know it!"
"Doggy-phobe." Blaine frowned and folded his arms.
"Hell of a lot better than being a homophobe or a racist." Kurt winked and smiled.
"Yeah, I guess that's true..." Blaine rolled his eyes. "All right, Kurt. You win."
Kurt smiled. "Glad you see it my way, Blaine."
"Yeah, whatever..." Blaine grumbled.
LOL Poor Blainey. Although, I'm with Kurt on this one, so...yeah.