Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN STYLE SAVVY!
Please enjoy reading this other view of the fashion world. At the pain and suffering that was inflicted onto her...
Warning: Eating disorders, death/suicide
She feared herself.
How much weight did she gain?
Did she have to go to the gym tonight to shed off the unwanted fat?
Her head was fueled with fears and worries as she stood before the mirror. If only she could see how she was wasting away...
Her once vibrant tan skin was gone and replaced with a dull tone of white. She rarely has gone out now with her most prized customers on her breaks since her store had began to become popular. A spray of self tan on herself might help. Perhaps add some more blush into her cheeks so Renee won't comment at how sickly she looks.
Black circles were starting to form under her eyes. Most likely her fault for staying coped up all night and day at her store with no thought of sleep in her mind. A dash of foundation and cover will easily fix that up!
Sharp joints were practically poking out from her elbows and her rib cage was easily seen along with her shoulder blades as she bent down. Her frame looked so fragile and almost air, but she glared at the small remaining fat on her. Yanking on a pair of black skinny jeans hid her knobby knees and a tight yet loose sweater hid the disgusting evidence of her skeleton body.
Now what to do with her thin long hair. It was practically limp and lifeless...
Grabbing a can of hair spray she went to work. Yanking a handful of hair she managed to tie a ribbon as she sprayed. There...A simple ponytail that looked good on her and gave the illusion that her hair was perfectly thick.
Slicking on a nice coat of red lipstick she studied herself.
Smiling, how beautiful she was...
Renee was worried...Worried about her friend and boss...
Now Renee never worried over anyone except for Renee. That was her motto, her mantra through life. Her guidance to avoid being hurt. But now was the time to break such a life long vow...
Her friend was growing...Away.
Renee can see the way she shakes. How her long thin hands tremble while folding the countless clothes over and over. The weak arms that struggle to pile the last of the season's clothes to the storage room. How her long legs begin to wobble as she struggles to carry a heavy box out of the store.
She can see how obsessed she is with her make up. Renee saw that little compact of hers flipping up every minute after a customer leaves. How those nails poke harshly at her cheeks and an always present frown on her face.
Renee can't even stand the sight of the never presence of food near her. A salad Grace would bring over sometimes would be shoved deep into the trash can. As she stuffs her face with sandwiches Renee sees her walk away quickly as if she was the plague.
There is no way that she is that stupid to know exactly who is making those sounds in the bathroom heaving out food that was forced down her throat after a lunch with Dominic.
All the signs are there. A ghost is there in her old friend's place. Replacing the smiling and bright woman she was proud to call her friend.
And now her best friend is gone...If only she could have stepped in to save her at all the times she could have...
It was his fault. All his fault...
It was his foolish ambitions that she turned like this.
She was the only one who treated him normally. To her he was not the big boss of her little store. He wasn't an attractive male she could have easily seduced. To her he was just Dominic.
He remembers how they first met. Her large green eyes peering up at him under her beret hat, how her smile made him want to see her again, and how pleasant the sound of her voice was to his ears. Warm and inviting.
But that all changed as soon as she entered their world. The world that caused her so much pain.
Her determination and leadership to keep her store running was admirable. It was new, it was something he rarely saw in women in the fashion business who were snobby and pitied those who weren't as exact as them. She never changed herself until the day he angrily told her that she was unfit to run his store as she was.
It hurt him now. He was only trying to give her a push for being better!
How could he not see?
The sneers she suffered as the other owners at fashion shows as she ate a whole meal before entering a contest. How customers would ignore her comments of trying on clothes a little bit bigger then the usually requested zeros and ones. How models whispered things behind her back about her body, how much fatter it was compared to their slender frames.
And how could he ignore the biggest one of all...
When she looked at him with tears in her eyes at his accusing tone of her imperfections. How those eyes hid her soul cracking from the stress she had to endure. How could he not hear her heart break as he left her all alone, unaware that he had hurt the one person that would truly love him as just plain Dominic...
Cried for being too late.
How could she have failed to save her? The signs were all there.
But she only brushed it off as the girl only having a tough time adjusting herself.
But she could have saved her.
The girl always came to her. Silent, but always present in front of her as if trying to get her attention. Of course Grace paid no attention to her former employee and now rival. She was too busy with her own affairs to see the pain the other was going through.
The clothes that once showed off her full and beautiful body had suddenly disappeared into loose clothes that hid her too skinny body. Grace didn't even notice one day how she purchased a rather too large dress and how the sleeve of her hoodie that day revealed a too skeleton like forearm as she swiped her credit card down the slot.
How didn't she not see how the girl cringed at the sight of herself changing in the dressing room. Angry at her reflection and pinching her stomach so hard a bruise formed. Grace was too busy thinking of an outfit sure to beat her ex-employee's own brilliant outfit.
The last day she saw her Grace didn't even stop herself from her task to listen to what the girl was trying to say to her.
She stood in front of her, face looking down and her legs shaking in a pair of rather tall heels. "Grace..." Her voice was so quiet, it sounded like a haunting ghost whisper, "Grace...Grace please...I...I need your hel-"
"I'm busy right now sorry," Grace told her, "Come back later okay?" With that she turned away and walked off, leaving her.
How stupid was she? How could she not hear the plead in her voice!
She can't even grab on tightly to the railing of the bridge as rain pours on her.
Her throat is so dry and her body is shaking so hard. She kneels down onto the pavement heaving out gasps as she struggles to think.
Grace wouldn't listen to her. Dominic had told her she was imperfect. Renee didn't even try to save her. No one was there to save her.
She tries to block out the dark taunts emerging from her mind.
The other owners scoffing at her when she offered them a friendly time out together. How they laughed at her for even asking them to form friendships.
How those models who smiled and giggled in front of Dominic turned at her with malice and taunts. How they laughed at her for having such a "fat" body.
The way the customers accused her for lying to them about their size. How they laughed at her when they realized she would never fit into the clothes that they were buying.
She was cracking. She was shattered.
She tried to make herself perfect. Fit into the world.
She felt so tired...So tired for living and trying to keep herself alive...
Staring out into the road she saw a huge truck...Without thinking she flung herself right on time. Her body hit right on time. She felt the impact snap her spine in two. Ah...Her lips formed a painful smile.