Randy Orton is in the gym working out with Cena and a few other of the WWE stars when he notices a slight change in one of the super stars behavior.
Randy: "Does something seem off to you about Punk?"
Cena: "Off like how? Off like he's not on his game or off like something isn't right."
Randy: "Off as in not himself and acting really weird and different from normal."
Cena: "Different? Not really but I see where you say he's not really acting like himself."
CM Punk lay on the weight bench after his normal routine and stared up at the ceiling. His music from his IPOD blasting in his ears. The hard core punk music usually was all he needed to finish his work out. It didn't seem like enough. He was still thinking and his thoughts were driving him crazy. He is the WWE Champion and the Best in the World. This was not best in the World behavior coming from him right now. This was more like love sick teenager behavior happening for him. His stomach had butterflies. He felt anxious and wanted to run around the work out area like a mad man, but he remained calm and tried to do his best at being the normal CM Punk. But, he couldn't help it. Phil was showing his real emotions all over his face right now. He shook his head at the thought of referring to himself in the third party like that. Never say that out loud.
He sat up and glanced over at Randy and Cena talking with their heads together. They were obviously contemplating something. He had no idea what was going on and didn't really much care. He wasn't one to get too occupied with what others were saying or thinking. Suddenly, he realized that the butterflies in his stomach were flying again as he watched Randy finish his set of squats. Did that man even realize how truly beautiful he was? Cena had a good body, but there was something about Randy that was totally fucking with his normal way of thinking. There couldn't be three straighter guys in the WWE then Cena, Randy and him. Why was he even thinking that way about another dude? He wasn't about to go over there and start trying to pick up men. He worked with these guys every single day. Hell they were damn near intimate in the ring. He'd never had one single sexual thought in the ring. It was all about kicking his opponent's ass and keeping that title around his waist. He was proud of his accomplishments as a wrestler and couldn't ask for a better day job. He was finally coming into all the royalties a star of his caliber deserved. All the fighting and arguing with management had paid off in full finally. He wasn't about to risk all that by admitting he was harboring a serious man crush right now.
Man crush. The two words scared the living shit out of him. Now, don't go getting all crazy. He's not homophobic. He's got gay friends and he loves them. He supported all that gay rights stuff and didn't think that anyone had the right to tell you who to love or marry. Just because it was going through his mind doesn't mean he was suddenly going to sprout a rainbow flag and start marching in parades. Hell he was sure there were other guys in the WWE who liked guys and didn't come out and say it to anyone other than their partner. He still loved women and he still had sex with women. He wasn't going to give up on women because he thought Randy was absolutely beautiful and was consuming his brain right now. Come to think of it, it was ironic that he was man crushing Randy. Randy was the one who took him out of the game by punting him in the head a while back. It was well known the rivalry that was between Punk and Randy. Granted, they were both in different places at the time, but it was still ironic. He'd hit Randy with a lead pipe in the leg and went after his family on the bus. He sort of earned being taken out. But, now he'd developed an out of ring friendship with Randy and Cena both.
Hell, a crush is just that. He didn't have to have sex with Randy. Mr. Married man wasn't going to go there with anyone. A hand on his shoulder brings him out of his thoughts. He looks up to find Kofi looking at him. He takes the buds out of his ear and gets up off the bench.
CM Punk: "Sorry about that. I was taking a breather."
Kofi: "It's all right. Are you ok? You seem like you're confused about something."
CM Punk: "I'm good. Don't worry about me, dude. I'm going to hit the showers."
Kofi: "All right. I'm here if you want to talk later."
CM Punk: "Thank you."
He goes into the locker room and sits on the bench in front of his locker. Man, if Kofi could see something was on his mind then it's a shear bet that Randy knew something was going on with him. Damn, he wasn't ready to confront this man crush thing. Nobody knew about it. He hadn't talked it out with anyone. Yet, another ironic moment in the works. Mr. Pipe bomb was worrying about speaking his mind on a subject. At this rate he could be best in the world at being a bitch. That idea didn't exactly give him the motivation to come clean with his crush. All he could hear in his head was:
"Are you fucking kidding me bro? How the hell are you going to sit there with a straight face and say you have a crush on a man? Are you gay? Do you realize the man you're referring to is married to a woman? He loves women just as much as I thought you used to. What the hell is wrong with you?"
Then there was another side of his mind:
"How can you sit here and not tell him the truth? You're acting like a love sick school girl. It's obvious your behavior is different around him. Come on, he's not an idiot. He's going to figure out exactly what's going on with you soon enough. Don't be a pussy. You can be honest with Randy. He's not going to force you into anything. The worst that's going to happen is he's going to respectfully turn you down and just say he's flattered."
Suddenly, the butterflies died and there was a new feeling in his stomach. He was nervous. He was afraid that Randy was going to walk into that locker room and see straight through his cool as a cucumber outside. He was going to see the scared as hell little kid that was just going crazy inside him. God, would it be easier if he was a woman? He reasoned with his inner kid. What if he had an amazing rack? A tight ass and beautiful blue eyes with long, dark hair or multi colored hair? What if he was some crazy rocker chick that had been crushing him for a long time? Would that be easier to swallow? Hell no. The same butterflies answered his question. It didn't matter if he was a man or a woman at this point. He was so damn nervous he was sure he was visibly shaking sitting there. He had to do something. So he put his IPOD and shoes in the locker, grabbed his shower stuff and went to the shower area. He stripped off his clothes and turned on the water so it would get warm enough to stand under. He only had to wait a few minutes before Cena and Randy returned to the locker room. He could hear their voices in the next room. His stomach did a back flip as he let the warm water run down his body.
"Take a deep breath, Punk. Just relax. Let the shower calm your crazies away. Randy is not a telepath. He has no idea what's going on with you. As a matter of fact, he's more interested in what Cena has to say right now. Don't worry about him. Randal will come to you when he is ready or you will go to him. Just calm yourself."
He washed himself like he was trying to wash the thoughts right out of his brain. It seemed to be working until he opened his eyes and Randy was right across the way from him with his back to him enjoying the warm water himself. His heart leaped into his throat and started beating so fast he was sure everyone could hear it.
"Oh fuck me. I'm bound to drop something or do something totally retarded at this point."
How could an innocent act like showering be whipping him into a sexual frenzy? He was ready to pounce Randy like he was a hot chick. He was sure he was blushing in the face.
"Yeah, that's not a dead give a way something is wrong. Pull it together, Punk. That's one of your best friends over there. It's not like that's Amy or Maria. What's wrong with you?"
Finally he finished up his shower and gathered his stuff. He put his towel safely around his waist without any incident. At least that's what Punk was hoping for until he looked down at himself and quickly realized there were more obvious issues at hand.
"You've got to be kidding me. This can't be happening to me right now. Not with other people in the locker room. How the fuck am I supposed to get my clothes without drawing attention to this."
He turned his thoughts on to a less attractive train of thought. He thought about Vickie Gurerro naked or his mom and it went straight away. He sighed relieved. This was only a temporary solution. He couldn't look at Randy dressing. He went over to his own locker and started pulling out his clothes and other toiletries.
Randy: "Hey Phil."
CM Punk: "Hey Randy. How's it going?"
Did he just sound like he was rushing his words? God, get it together Punk. Its freaken Randy Orton. This man kicked you in the head and put you out of the game. He'd do it again if he knew you were acting like a girl.
Randy: "I can't complain. Did you hear about what's going on with Cena?"
CM Punk: "No. What's going on with Cena?"
He turned his attention to Randy. There was finally a subject that would take him out of his own thoughts and fantasies for five minutes. Randy glances around the locker room before closing the space between him and Punk so nobody else could over hear what he was about to say.
Randy: "Cena is divorcing his wife."
CM Punk: "Holy shit. Are you serious? What happened?"
Randy hushes him as his voice is showing the shock and surprise they were both feeling at the news.
CM Punk: (lowering his voice) "That's terrible."
Randy: "Yeah. He filed for divorce a couple days ago. Apparently they grew apart and he doesn't want to be married to her anymore. They were high school sweethearts."
CM Punk: "Oh my God. Is Cena all right? That explains why he hasn't really been that talkative lately."
Randy: "Yeah. He's on a sort of stress free schedule if you will. Apparently, the suits feel like he can't be under any pressure because they don't want him to pull what Hogan pulled back in the 80's."
CM Punk: "Hogan and Cena are two different people and its two separate situations. Damn, I am sorry to hear that. Elizabeth was a really awesome woman."
Randy: "Yeah she was cool. Her and Sam hang out all the time and commiserate. Apparently she found someone else she can commiserate with when Cena's on the road."
CM Punk: "Did Cena say she was seeing another man?"
Randy: "No, but there was a report on TMZ that she may have been cheating."
CM Punk: "You're no different from them if the news didn't come straight from Cena's mouth. Let him tell you if she was unfaithful or not. All we can do is be there for him right now. He's going through every man's worse night mare."
Randy: "Yeah. I know. I am sorry that he's divorcing her. That's hard."
CM Punk: "Especially with our lifestyle and having to be in the public eye 24/7 and try to act like it's no big deal. He probably is falling apart inside every night."
Randy: "Is that the voice of experience talking?"
CM Punk: "I've never been married or engaged, but I know what it's like to fall head over heels in love with someone and have it not work out. I've had it happen twice to me. I'm so cynical on love that I'm starting to believe it'll never happen again in my lifetime."
Randy: "That's what I said until I met Sam."
CM Punk: "Not everyone has it right the first time like you and Sam."
Randy: "We've had our problems in the past. "