~Never Thought I'd Lose You~

Sup! I thought the previous writing was crappy, so I have a rewritten version now! I changed the plot a little cause I feel like an ass breaking Allen and Kanda up, leaving our PMSing samurai alone... In the evil world... With no Moyashi... XD So enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I owned D. Gray Man, Michael Jackson would probably have a real nose.

Summary: -Rewritten- The Musician had fallen by my blade. Because, it was my promise to you, Moyashi. That I will be the one to kill the 14th Noah. Now, wait for me. Death-fict.

Allen's POV

A sigh escape my lips as I lean back comfortably into my lover's chest, my back molding perfectly with it. My eyelids slide shut as I snuggle into his warmth, feeling at ease for the first time today. But with this heavy weight in my heart and mind, I can never be fully at peace. I listen to the steady heartbeat of Kanda, and his hand hold my chin gently, tilting it up to kiss my lips passionately, making my mind go blank with a happiness that could last me a lifetime. He pull away, those dark and mysterious grey orbs watch mine softly. "What's wrong?" He whisper. "Why'd you suddenly come to my room?" I lightly peck at his lips. "I'm fine. I just miss you." Kanda scoff.


"I'm not lying Yuu."



I give up. I mean, I don't want to have to regret for not telling Kanda the truth. I feel my defiance shatter as I drown myself in his deep eyes. "I... I just... I'm scared..." Just pour it all out. Let it all out. Before it's too late. Before your selfishness destroys everything you love. "Scared of?" Even his calming voice cannot make me feel secure, certain. "I'm scared... Of the Fourteenth. I can feel him." I clutch at the flesh above my heart. "I can feel him fighting, to break free of the chains that hold him down. He's going to destroy my mind, Yuu. He's going to break me, take everything away from me. Even this body of mine." Kanda wrap his long arms around my waist, pulling me down so that we lay down on the bed face to face. He press my face into his warm chest. His heartbeat seem slightly faster. Was he... 'Yuu... Are you scared too? Are you scared I'll become the Fourteenth? Will you detest me for it?'

"Don't say it like that, Baka Moyashi."

"Name's Allen."

He embraces me tighter. "I know you're hurting, Allen. But you're strong. You can fight back. You won't lose to a mere second consciousness buried in the midst of your mind. Just think of everyone you have here. You're not just gonna let him take it all away, are you?" I close my eyes, trying to not let the tears escape. "I-I know that... But... But this body, you see... It belongs to Neah in the first place. It was never mine. The moment his will was given to me, this body was his, a vessel waiting to be taken over-"

"Shut up Moyashi."

Kanda snarl ferociously. He force my head upwards to look into his face. "Don't you talk like that, idiot. If you ever talk like that again, I will slice you into pieces with Mugen before that fucking Noah ever gets a chance to get to you. Just... Think of your friend, your family, me... When you feel like you're losing hope." I laugh softly as the tears finally come down. "Funny I should hear that from you. You've gotten so mushy, Yuu." He feels his shirt become wet where my face is, a hand coming up to ruffle my white hair lovingly. "But," I continue. "It's inevitable that I'll one day succumb to all his fighting and shatter. And Allen Walker will cease to exist. You know that." A silence envelop the dark room, his heartbeat the only thing that reminds me that I'm still here.

"I know."

He whisper monotonously, his hand gripping my left hand tightly, lightly caressing the Innocence. "If you were to become him, make sure, that you put up a fight. So that the whole Order– the whole world– will know; Allen Walker was never a traitor. He fought till the end of his burdened life." I smile at his words. "I will. I promise. In return, you have to do me a favor."

"What is it?"

"After I put up that fight, but loses to the Noah, promise me you'll be the one to end my– his life. You don't have the Sword of Exorcism, so he'll die in the end. Promise me this." I reposition my head so it rests on the crook of Kanda's neck. "That you, exorcist Kanda Yuu of the European Branch, will be the one to kill the 14th Noah." His mouth open to retort against my favor, but closes it, a deep exhale out his nose. "I promise, Moyashi. But you'll still be known as the Destroyer of Time to us." He kisses my forehead. "Go to sleep, Moyashi." I smiled, closing my eyes shut. His arms, one wrapping itself around my waist, the other holding my left hand. It was not long before I felt a powerful throb in my head, and I gasp, my eyes fly open. Kanda is asleep, a few hours had past after we went to sleep. I smiled sadly. I'm not going to sleep for a while. I want to remember this, I want this feeling etched in my mind even after I'm long gone. I lay a kiss on his cheek, and feel the Noah in me grinned evilly.

"Yes, that's right. Don't waste away the time you have left. It won't be long until this body becomes mine, while you'll be locked in here, watching me destroy everything you have, yet unable to do anything. After all, I am the Musician!"

Normal POV

"Allen Walker please proceed to Komui's office. You have a mission." Allen dragged himself off his seat in the cafeteria and groaned. "You okay Walker-dono?" A newbie Finder asked. "Yeh, I'm fine thank you. Just… Tired." He stretched himself and made his way out the huge room to Komui's office. The Finder stared after the retreating back with a worried expression, making his way back to his friends. "I sure hope Walker-dono is fine. He looked so tired. He's so young..." A Finder snorted from his seat across the newbie. "That traitor? He doesn't deserve such kind words and concern. Haven't you heard? He's got a Noah in him!" The newbie gasped. "Are you serious?!"

"Yes! He's going to destroy us all if we don't get rid of him! Why he isn't going to be executed yet is beyond me."

Lenalee, who was seated a few tables away with Marie, Miranda and Krory, clenched her fists. She hated it, how everyone speaks of Allen, of her little brother, as if he were a revolting piece of trash. "Shut up!" She screamed, slamming her hands onto the table. The cafeteria fell silent as the normally cheerful Lenalee Lee trembled in fury. "How can you speak of Allen-kun that way?! He's been on a mission with you before, no? And how many times did he risk his life to protect you? He can't stand to see any innocent people die and put their lives before his! And you still speak of him that way?!" She glared piercingly at the Finder, and a few had their heads down in shame. A Finder snorted. "He could have been faking-"

Before Lenalee has a chance to go over and kick his sorry ass to Mars, a flash of orange and red and black zoomed across the room, and before everyone could comprehend what had entered, the Finder who had mentioned those cruel words was being held in the air by his neck. "Shut. The fuck. Up." Lavi hissed furiously. "We know Allen better than you, Finder. Allen would never betray us. And if he did turn into the Noah, he did his best to have fought him off for so long. If you say anymore of this crap, believe me when I say all of us exorcists, especially me and Kanda, will assure you the most brutal death you can ever imagine."

The Finder swallowed, eyes wide with fright. "I-I'm sorry, E-Exorcist-sama." Lavi let go of the man, who coughed and clutch at his throat, and the exorcist went towards Lenalee's table together with the others.

"I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling." Toma said, worry evident on his face as he walked with his friend. "You too, Toma?" Lavi said, watching as the man strolled towards the table to the door. "Lavi-dono?" The redhead lowered his head. "I got a feeling that this mission is a big mistake." He admitted, turning to look at the door where Allen had gone through a while ago.

"Be safe, Allen."

In Komui's room, Allen had just received his mission report. "It seems that in a forest in Rome has been rumored to have a mystical power. Witnesses claimed to have seen dead animals and plants being brought back to life. And that they saw something glowing within the trees. But whenever they get near, the animals become hostile and start attacking them. Only when they moved away will the animals stop attacking." Komui announced, eyeing Allen and his stalker, Link. "Please go as early as possible. There's a large amount of Akuma there. And there have been sightings of Noahs too." Allen nodded, gathering his file, and left the office.

"Link you can return to our room first. I need to go check on something." Link gave Allen a look before stalking off. Allen smiled at Link's act. He felt arms snake around his waist and a warm breath down his neck. "Hey Yuu." Kanda rested his chin on the top of Allen's fluffy head. "You have a mission?" He muttered, catching sight of the booklet in Allen's hands. "Yeh. In Rome. It won't take too long though. Probably just two three days. " Allen replied, nuzzling his cheek on Kanda's chest, eyes sliding shut. "You should probably go now. Don't want to keep that asshole stalker waiting." Allen sniggered. "Okay then, goodbye Yuu. I'll see you in a few days." He waved, and started walking towards his room. 'I hope…'

Allen brought his claw down on yet another Akuma. "How… Many are… There?" He yelled between pants. "Just keep fighting Walker! I'm close to the Innocence!" Link shouted, as he fought off animals that had lunged at him. The blonde haired Crow looked back at the boy. He looked paler than usual, more sickly and frail. Link frowned, but was snapped out of his stupor when a wolf pounced at him. Allen's vision was getting bleary. 'Shit…' He cursed inwardly. And out of the blue an Akuma blasted an attack at the boy, shocking him and pain coursed through his veins. Falling back down to the ground, he instead hit a broad chest. "Thanks Link…" He gasped out. Hands held on his shoulder tightly. "Link?" He glanced upwards, only to see the Noah, Tyki Mykk. The boy gasped and struggled to get out of the man's grasp. The Noah smirked and tightened his grip on the small frame, squeezing to the point where the arms nearly pop out of their sockets. Allen let out a cry, as a Tease bit down sharply on his Innocence, forcing it back into its normal form.

"I suggest you don't fight back, shounen."

The smooth voice of Tyki Mykk filled Allen's ears. He gritted his teeth, trying to fight back against the pain. "The Noah is trying to force his way out. Why don't you let it?" He whispered into Allen's ear. "The Earl wants me to try this on you. He said it would force the Fourteenth out. Now, hold still…" Allen's struggled became more desperate after he heard what Tyki had said. The Noah leaned in close to Allen's ear, whispering words that the white haired boy don't understand, before he felt a throb in his head, and his vision started to fade. 'No… I can't… Can't lose control… Kanda's… Waiting…'


And it all faded to black. Tyki muttered a few more words before the pale milky skin turned a light gray, lighter than a normal Noah's tone. Stigmata appeared on his forehead, and beautiful golden orbs flickered open. "Welcome back, Fourteenth."

Kanda's POV

I can't believe my ears. What Link had just shared... Is it true? Or is he lying? I clench my fists, watching the scene closely. Komui seem to be in a state of shock as well, his lanky form trembling in what could only be horror. I can tell he is trying to regain his composure as he cough and asks with a shaky breath. "Link... Are you certain? Did Allen really..." Lenalee is completely mortified, her hands raised to cover her mouth, her purple eyes wide. The rabbit was also stunned by the information, his form still and unmoving, having been caught in a serious atmosphere. Link nods his head silently. I can't take this crap anymore. I slam my fist into the wall next to me, glaring at the fucking stalker with everything I've got.

"How the fuck do we know if you're lying?!"

"Please refrain from using such vulgarism on me, Exorcist Yuu Kanda. I assure you I am telling you the truth. Timcanpy recorded the entire event." Link states, his red eyes boring into mine, a staring contest. Komui clears his throat. "So... Allen has really... Allen is... Gone?" Link sighs sadly. Did he really care for the Moyashi? His eyes are closed, as if if he were to open them, he will have to face the harsh reality again. Tim hop forward on its seat on the sofa, hesitantly opening its mouth filled with razor sharp teeth, and a hologram appears before us. It was my Moyashi, fighting against a huge group of Level 3 Akuma. And he fell...

Into the arms of a Noah.

"Tyki Mikk!" Lavi snarls, watching the hologram intently. Moyashi struggled madly for a while, before he went limp when the Noah fucker said something into his ear. And then... And then...! His soft pale skin slowly fades into a sick gray color, the color of Noah. His eyes open slightly, and golden orbs showed through. Even as a Noah, he is still so beautiful. Like an angel. Lenalee scream, collapsing onto the floor and start to sob at the loss of the Order's favorite exorcist. Lavi clench his fists, eye shut tight as he grits his teeth. Komui let out a shuddering breath. "Now that Allen is a Noah... As much as we don't want to do it..." I feel my heart ache, as I recall the promise Allen made me keep. I didnt want to believe. The next sentence nearly killed us all.

"You are to kill Allen Wal- the Fourteenth Noah should you see him, do it without hesitation. He is not Allen anymore. He is a Noah, our enemy. You... You may leave."

"Promise me this. That you, exorcist Kanda Yuu of the European Branch, will be the one to kill the 14th Noah."

I find myself on a mission a week after the tragedy had been revealed. I wander through the dense forest, so beautiful and calm. It is almost like a fruit orchard instead of overgrown vegetations.

In Rome.

Where Allen 'died'.

Where Allen was stolen from everyone's lives.

Where I see 'Allen' once more.

My eyes widen. Is that truly... Him? Should I call out to him? Or should I keep quiet and watch? The body look so weak and fragile from not having transformed fully. The perfect chance to kill the Noah. But that would mean...


He is smiling so softly, his hair now wavy. His once silver eyes still retain its softness, its gentleness. He looks like a fallen angel, forsaken by god and left in the Garden of Eden all by himself, to live a life of loneliness.'Allen's' hand reach up to pick a fruit off a tree branch, when his eyes pop wide open.

A sword– not just any sword– Mugen, is pierced right through his thin body. Blood seep out of the stab wound on his shirt right where his heart is. I feel myself shaking, but I steel myself.

This is not Allen. It is the fucker who took him away from me. I have to kill the Noah to avenge Allen.

His head turns downwards, seeing the familiar blade protruding through his chest. Those golden eyes turn to look at me, so sharp and heart wrenching. But a smirk slowly appeared, an expression that did not belong to my Moyashi at all. Blood flowed out his mouth, some dribbling down his nose. I drive the blade deeper into his chest, blood spurting out onto the green grass below as his head fling back in agony. The small figure shudders, and open his mouth for the first time.

"How cruel, you would do this... Even to your lover's body." He says,his left hand holding onto the end sharp blade, caressing it, feeling it. The dormant Innocence reacting to the other in Mugen. "Was it one sided love after all? Or did you truly love him?" I feel a sudden wave of energy flow up Mugen and my arm. I think I see him... In my head. And his voice... Fluttering by with the wind.


The Noah push the sword completely out of his body, stumbling a little but his balance is intact. The figure just stand there, arms limp and head lolled to the front, swaying a little with the breeze. And I feel a strong grip on my uniform as the body spun around, placing his soft cold lips on mine, shocking me. His eyes are closed, but they open slightly, not breaking the kiss. My bottom lip tremble.


They are silver in color.

Then the orbs roll back and the body crumple to the floor at my feet, a pool of blood forming around my boots and his body.

"Kanda, I love you..."

I stand still as I watch the invisible breeze, staring at where it blows to, imagining that Allen is there too, following the wind. The tears finally come down my face, when the wind stop. I cover my eyes with a blood stained hand, knowing that the Finder is watching from afar, finally having caught up. I take in a deep breath, only for it to make me cry harder.

"My promise is fulfilled." I say to the sky.

The funeral is to be held today. I brought back Allen's dead body, so he will have a proper burial. When the exorcists and scientists saw his body, they had burst into tears. Lenalee and Lavi were crying hard, holding onto his cold body which Iaid on Komui's couch. Krory and Miranda brawled their eyes out. I stood at the corner, listening to their cries and wails.

The black coffin is a beautiful creation. Designed with golden leaves, swirls and his name. I walk over tracing the golden words.

Allen Walker
Age 15
The Destroyer of Time
The Musician
Our Heart

Allen look so pale, his face the same shade of his hair. The inside of the coffin is filled with lotus flowers, the flower that represents me. I close my eyes shut as Komui start his speech.

"Allen Walker is a boy with a burdened life. In his short 15 years, he'd experienced much pain, sorrow and devastation.

Things became worse after he was branded as traitor even though he was so fateful to the Black Order, helping us when the time comes. He puts other lives before his, placing all the responsibilities on himself. He was a beam of hope among the dark sea of despair.

Allen Walker, will forever be an exorcist, whether Noah or not, he belongs in the Black Order, his family."

The heavy doors swing open, revealing a tall figure dressed in black and gold. Long red hair flow down his back. "C-cross-gensui?" Komui stutter, as the once-thought dead general stood proud and tall at the door. His boots echo loudly as he strolled towards the coffin. He kneels down, taking away his cigarette, and blow out the smoke. He looks down to face Allen. A small smile creep up his face.

"Baka deshi. Surely, you should've known that the Earl wants you. So why did you not run when the Noah approached you? Idiot. You should've been an expert at running away. After all, you are my apprentice. Oh. And Mana would like you to have this." He places a golden pocket watch into Allen's hands, 'M.W.' engraved at the top. "And hey, who knows, kid. You might be able to see him again. Up there." Cross exhale deeply through his nose, standing back up. He walks towards me, dropping the golden golem into my hand. "My idiot apprentice would've wanted you to look after him." He strolls out the door just like that. Just as he walks out the doors behind him. I decide to speak up what I have to say.

"Allen Walker was never a traitor. He fought till the end of his burdened life."

Everyone's eyes are on me, but I ignore them. Cross stops, raising his Innocence, Judgement, into the air. And the door closes.

Komui takes off his beret, holding it in front of his heart, he bow. Everyone else follow suit. Komui stand up straight again, and he finally let the tears free. The Order is filled with wails of sorrow, screams of agony, and cries of a single name. "I kept my promise, Allen. So now, promise me you'll wait for me." Kanda whispered. A light breeze is felt in the room.

"I'll wait even a thousand years for you Yuu."

A few months had passed since your death. I wandered into my room. "You lived up to your prophecy Allen. You lived up to the name Destroyer of Time. The Earl was devastated by your death. Apparently he couldn't stand losing the Fourteenth Noah a second time. Now, a new chapter begins." I whisper, talking to Allen.

"I've done my part for the war. I fought for years. I think I'll stop. Stop serving for the Vatican. How about that? Moyashi."

I reached out for my hour glass with my lotus inside. I feel your presence. I see you in front of me. Your hand reaches out for mine. I smile, turning off Timcanpy, and reach for your hand. I drop my hour glass, and the glass shatters, the lotus petals falling off as the glass shards tear at them. Pain wreak my body, but I'll be okay. Because you're here. No longer are you alone. Because I'll be there too. You don't have to wait any longer. My body collapses, and I'm still holding your hand. Leaving my body, you laugh as you see Timcanpy flying around our heads. I don't care what will happen when they find my body. Because I have done enough for the war.

And so have you.

~The End~