A/N: At the request of a few of my reviewers, I have written in the POV of Gerald...this wasn't so easy. The story doesn't offer much in the way of a plot, but I think it came out alright. Gerald's such an awesome character, but I feel like I don't know him as well as I know Arnold and Helga. I hope this doesn't disappoint!
Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold!
They're Crazy. The Both of Them.
"Arnold, man, you can't be serious," I say, looking at my best friend in disbelief. "You're going to leave me by myself in the middle of the jungle?"
Arnold just sighs before turning to me. "Gerald," he starts, "I can't let Helga go by herself. We don't know what could be in there."
"Then why don't you just go?" I ask without thinking. I stop. "Never mind. I don't want to stay out here with her." I cringe at the thought.
"Hey, if you two chuckleheads are done talking about me like I'm not here, I'd like to get this over with," Helga growls. "And I don't need your help, Football Head. I'm Helga G. Pataki; I can take care of myself! Now, I found the cave, and I'm going to check it out." She turns away, drops to her hands and knees, and crawls into the tiny space in front of us.
I look at Arnold again. "So why can't we all go in?" I ask him.
"The space is too small for all of us," he answers. He finally looks back at me. "And someone needs to stay out here just in case something happens."
I guess that's logical enough. "Fine, man," I concede. "Whatever you say. Just hurry up, okay? Whenever you and Helga are alone together, things always end up weird."
He rolls his eyes at me before following Helga into the cave, but I notice the distinct blush on his face.
I sigh to myself. My best friend has lost his mind. I think this jungle heat is finally getting to his head. Seriously…I saw what was going on earlier today. I was seconds away from witnessing a kiss between Arnold and the pink terror that is Helga G. Pataki.
I'm not making this stuff up! She was just there, lying right on top of the boy. And he didn't look uncomfortable in the least bit! They said that it was an accident. Well, they wouldn't have been gazing into each other's eyes if it had been an accident. I just couldn't help but make a few sarcastic comments at the time, but, honestly, I'm worried about him.
Let's face the facts: Arnold falls quick and hard. It took less than a week for him to fall for Lila. Even less time for him to get a crush on our substitute teacher, Ms. Felter. He even told me about that girl at the beach, Summer. One night for him to go all gaga over that Cecile chick from France. And how could I ever forget Ruth? I'm not sure when that one started. But it sure lasted a while. And then there was that other sixth grade girl…Maria? So, it would be no surprise if Arnold fell for another girl. But Helga Pataki? That's crazy!
Now, I don't know much about Helga (I try to keep my distance as much as I can), but I know Arnold like the back of my hand. And I can tell that the boy is hooked. After Helga's quicksand accident today, I noticed how Arnold kept looking at her with this dazed expression. And he kept smiling and sighing. Yep, the guy's a goner.
But here's the weird thing: Helga has been doing the same thing. Does that seem insane? She's tortured him his whole life, and now she just looks like she's head-over-heels for the guy.
I sit down and lean back against a rock. Those two…it's just not natural. They always got teamed up for things in the past. For school projects and everything.
They were paired up for that egg assignment. They spent the whole weekend arguing and searching for the egg that they lost…twice. But then the egg hatched! How does that even happen? Only to those two.
And then that time they spent twenty-four hours in Arnold's greenhouse. Once again, they argued the whole time.
Then Mr. Simmons put all three of us, plus Phoebe, into a group for that social studies project. That was a nice little prank war they had going. Very entertaining.
They even had to share a desk when the school budget was cut. I had to share with Phoebe. That wasn't so bad.
And then there was that whole thing with Romeo and Juliet. Of course, that was mostly because all the other girls dropped out of the play. I'm kinda glad they all dropped out. Otherwise, Arnold would have had to kiss Phoebe. And that would NOT have been okay.
And that's not even counting the times outside of school! They're just thrown together all the time! On any given day, you can see them slam into each other rounding a street corner.
That time we went camping with Arnold's grandpa, Helga and Phoebe ended up at the campsite right beside us. Not that I'm complaining about that.
Arnold was the best man in Coach Wittenburg's wedding, and Helga was the maid of honor. That was just too weird: watching them walk down the aisle together.
Last Thanksgiving, Arnold and Helga both got fed up with their families and went to Mr. Simmons' house. Arnold told me how glad he was to see Helga end up happy with her family.
Then there were those crazy few days when Helga was acting like Lila…and Arnold spent Rhonda's whole party hanging out with her. I mean, Helga had come to the party dressed as Lila, for crying out loud.
And that time Arnold beaned Helga with a baseball and she got amnesia. So, of course, he helped her out. He felt so guilty about it that he waited on her, hand and foot, for a day and a half.
Ugh, and when Arnold's creepy cousin Arnie came to town, he started dating Lila. Arnold acted like he was dating Helga to make Lila jealous. He brushed her hair, massaged her feet, and even shared bubble gum with her. Gross.
And then, my personal favorite, when Arnold tried Rhonda's marriage predictor one hundred and TEN times, and he got Helga every single try. Arnold told me the next day that he didn't think being married to Helga would have been so bad. That was really weird.
Now she's on this search and rescue mission with us. She helped us save the neighborhood, too, apparently. And I wish I knew what happened on top of that FTi building. Because that's when Arnold started acting weird. He's been even more spaced-out than usual. And that's saying something.
But, looking back on it now, it seems like maybe Arnold might have liked her before FTi…without realizing it.
I don't know what happened. I don't know what he's thinking now. And I don't know enough about Helga to know what's going on with her. But I do know a little bit about crushes. And Arnold definitely has a crush on Helga G. Pataki. Go figure. And, to the naked eye, it might look like Helga's got a thing for him.
He's told me time and time again that Helga's a good person deep down and that she's just scared to show who she really is. I'm not so sure about that. But, she is Phoebe's best friend. And Phoebe is a great judge of character.
Man, I wish Phoebe were here. She'd know exactly what to do. We wouldn't be climbing into unknown caves if she were with us. She's the smartest person I know. And she's really driven and energetic. She's so great. Man, I wish she were here.
Whoa…that was a little off subject. My bad.
Anyway…if Phoebe likes her and Arnold likes her (or like-likes her), I guess I should give Helga a chance. But we don't have the greatest track record. I don't think we'll ever be friends. Maybe more like…neutral. I mean, it looks like she and Arnold like each other, and…well…I like Phoebe. So I'm going to have to spend at least a little time with her either way. I might as well get used to the idea.
"Hey, Gerald?" I hear a voice call.
I quickly jump up and make my way back over to the cave. "Arnold?" I ask. "What's up, man?"
"Um, I think I'm gonna need your help," he says. I see that he's backed his way to the opening of the cave. He clears his throat. "It seems that, uh, my head…"
"His head's too wide and won't fit back the way it came," says Helga's voice from farther into the cave. It sounds a little muffled. And amused.
I bite my lip at first. Then I smile a little. And, before I know it, a chuckle escapes me, and I'm laughing uncontrollably. "Oh, man," I gasp, trying to catch a breath. "That's hysterical. Just priceless. How did you even get in there in the first place?"
"Gerald," Arnold chides. He sighs. "I don't know. Maybe I angled it differently. Just pull me out!"
"Okay, okay," I say, still chuckling to myself. I grab each of his feet and tug a few times. He's lying on his stomach, outside the cave, in a matter of seconds. Helga crawls out after him.
She stands, crosses her arms, and then smirks at Arnold. "Good job, Football Head," she says. "Only you." She shakes her head in amusement.
"I didn't know it was going to be that small, Helga," he says. "And it was your idea to go in there in the first place." He narrows his eyes at her as he stands and dusts himself off.
"Hey, you insisted on coming with me, Hair Boy," she says, rolling her eyes. "Nobody told you to. In fact, I think Geraldo told you not to."
"Okay, you guys," I jump in. "It's no big deal. But I take it you didn't find anything worthwhile in there?" They both shake their heads. "Well, then let's keep going. We've still got some parents to find."
Arnold nods and picks up his backpack. He throws one more look at Helga before turning to lead the way back to the trail. I just catch a glimpse of the half-smile that's suddenly appeared on Helga's face.
Man, those two. There's really not much I can say. They're crazy. The both of them. I know that for sure. And one day, their craziness is going to explode. And something really insane is going to happen. I just hope I'm there to see it when it does.
A/N: So...what do you think? I hope you don't hate it. I just kind of ran with an idea.