A/N- Hi new people! This is my first LoK fic, and I'm excited to say I think I did a pretty good job on the first chapter! I know it's a little dark, but that's the kind of things my brain comes up with.
What can I say?
I fell in love with Legend of Korra.
I fell in love with the cuteness that is Bolin.
I fell in love with the hotness that is Mako.
I fell in love with the badassness of Korra.
I will never be the same again.
Now please enjoy!
Korra was in her room, curled up in a ball on her bed. How could this have happened? She never did anything like this, yet here she was, totally in love with a guy and the worst part was that Mako was with Asami! Just the thought made the Avatar squeeze her eyes shut in a futile attempt to keep back the tears. They refused and ran down her cheeks in rivulets, testaments to her emotional pain.
It all flooded over her; the kiss, the hidden looks, secret gestures… And now, after she'd been captured by Tarrlock, she thought he'd finally see how much she loved him. How much she needed him. But it was the same as before. Korra was just beginning to heal and had already seen the firebender kissing Asami. As if those words he said after taking her off Naga didn't matter.
That's what hurt the most.
Mako had been so concerned, so worried that he pushed past everyone else and picked her up bridal style, said words so tender and sweet as he placed her on Oogi that Korra was sure he was going to kiss her or say he loved her or something like that, but he never did. He stayed with Asami. And it hurt.
With a jolt, the dark haired young woman remembered one of her friends back in her village. She'd done something so incredibly unbelievable that it had sent the whole tribe into a panic. Korra remembered how Layba had told her about how it helped her deal with the pain and the stress that was put on her as the Chief's daughter. Layba said that it helped her deal with her cheating boyfriend who she just could not let go of.
Layba had cut.
Maybe, just maybe, could it help her too?
Korra jerked into a sitting position. Had she really just thought of that? No, she couldn't do that! It wasn't right, wasn't good! …But what if Layba was telling the truth and it could take away all of her guilt and jealousy and the pressures of being the Avatar? Korra shook her head. Not now, she couldn't. If it got worse, well then, she'd jump that hurdle when it came. But for now, she wouldn't go there.
Mako didn't know why he was doing it. He was in love with Korra, he knew, so why did he keep going back for Asami? Was it because she was rich and looked like a fallen spirit? He didn't know, but he had to figure it out soon before he hurt them both.
His footsteps reverberated around him as he walked through the rubble of the Probending Arena. This was where the firebender had first met Korra- the cocky, sneaky, exotic girl who was plenty confident and was nothing like the city girls he knew. It had been so weird to see a girl who didn't want his autograph or see some firebending moves, as most fan girls did. It was refreshing to have someone treat him as he was a person, not some big pro who was famous.
Mako tried to block out the sight of the place that used to be his home in wreckage. It almost made his chest hurt to think that he could not lie down at night and think about Korra, never wondering if she'd come to visit as she often did now. It had been his own personal haven, letting his thought reign free and never have to worry if the girl in question was about to come in.
She was the first one- besides Bolin- that he had trusted after his parents were killed. She made the firebender feel alive and free. Like he didn't need to protect anyone and he could just be himself, no more, no less. He didn't have to be the protective older brother that he had to with Bolin, or the sweet romantic guy like with Asami. It was all himself.
And, he guessed, that part of the problem.
Mako couldn't let her go. She was smart, funny, amazing, strong, beautiful… But the firebender couldn't let Asami go either.
He grabbed his dark hair in frustration. They were going to be the death of him! With a furious yell, fire exploded from his mouth. What was he to do?
What would happen to Korra and him?
Over the next few weeks it got worse. Korra's wounds healed on the outside, but on the inside she was hurting so bad that it was almost rare now to see her doing anything else but trying to airbend or meditating. She wasn't eating as much as she used to, as much as she should, yet Pema was the only one to notice.
Tenzin's wife tried in vain to get the young girl to eat. She cooked all the things she knew were Korra's favorites, but the Avatar ate only a few bites before excusing herself or playing around with it enough to look like she had eaten more than she had. Pema knew it was hurting her- she was losing significant weight and it was not being put back into muscle.
It was worse, as Korra couldn't keep her mind off the blade in her boot. Albeit, it was meant for self-defense, but the idea of dragging it across her skin started looking more and more appealing. She tried to keep it to the back of her mind, but it kept coming up. Whether it was while she was training, meditating, or just trying to go to sleep at night, it didn't matter. It was always on her mind.
Then came her breaking point.
It was a month after being taken. Korra had decided to go to Narook's. She wanted to get a few dumplings there, for old time's sake when Bolin used to bring her along. Now the Avatar had pretty much alienated herself from her friends, immersing head first into everything she could do alone so she wasn't forced to think about Ma- no, think about the firebender.
Korra had found things were easier if she distanced herself from Bo's brother. She no longer thought his name. It was always the firebender, her teammate, Bolin's brother. But never… Never his name.
She sat down and ordered a plate. While Korra waited, she looked around at the little shop. Then she saw them.
Asami and Ma- her boyfriend were in a booth not far from her. They were making kissy faces while sharing a drink. It was sickening, heartbreaking. The Avatar felt her chest constrict and her breath shorten. Then, the two leaned in. They shared a long, passionate, deep kiss.
It broke Korra.
They pulled apart and the young woman shot from her seat, tears starting to stream down her face. How could he? How could he?
Mako looked up, startled at the sudden flurry of movement nearby. The Avatar saw the look and then realized.
She loved him
She loved Mako.
A sob tore from her chest as Asami turned around to see what had caught Mako's eye. The once-rich lady's eyes widened at the sight of her crying. Before either of them could call her name, Korra ran out of the shop, hand muffling her choking sounds.
She ran and ran and ran, far into the city. Eventually she broke down in some alley, her knees cracking audibly against the hard pavement. The sounds tore from her throat, filling the place with the cries and screams of her agony. It hurt to have your heart broken in two. Actually, that was the easy part. Korra had given half of her heart, her soul to Mako. Then he shattered it.
Korra didn't think she'd ever be okay again.
Mind clouded with sadness, fear, and absolute failure made the Avatar pull the knife from her boot. It gleamed in the moonlight as she unsheathed it, the metal shining menacingly, viscously.
The first cut was the hardest to make. It stayed positioned above her wrist for what seemed like the longest time. Then with a swift move, it slit open the skin and blood started dribbling out.
It got easier as time went on. Soon, her arm was covered in blood, staining the ground beneath her. It was a total of eight cuts. One for hurting Bolin, one for possibly hurting Asami, and six for the pain Mako brought.
The moon hung high in the sky as Korra clumsily cleaned her arm and wrapped it in a neckerchief she had in her pocket. The blade was cleaned and the Avatar couldn't deny that Layba had been right. It felt good to let go of the emotional agony and just live in the moment of physical pain.
She wondered why she didn't do it sooner.
That's where Korra stayed, falling asleep in the alleyway, head resting on a crate till morning. When she woke up, it felt like her arm was on fire, but it didn't matter.
The Avatar was hooked.
Mako was sharing a drink with Asami at Narook's. He saw out of the corner of his eye as Korra came in, her pale and thin image burning into his mind. Her clothes hung loose on her body and she no longer seemed as strong and determined anymore. It hurt him because he couldn't help. The beautiful young woman wouldn't let her in.
He'd tried, oh how he'd tried, but he was always denied access into the new walls she had placed around herself. To get away from it all, Mako had suggested a date to Asami, using the excuse that they hadn't been out for a while. She had readily agreed and they had arrived not ten minutes ago.
Everything was going smoothly. Korra didn't seem to notice they were there, and Mako would glance over at her now and again. She ordered something and leaned back. Then her eyes began traveling the room.
The firebender quickly looked back down when Asami started flirting. He flirted right back, momentarily forgetting about Korra. They shared a passionate kiss. While they did, Mako's thoughts drifted to when he and Korra had kissed. It had been perfect, even if he wouldn't admit it.
Then they pulled apart and there was a loud sound from a few tables away. The Fire Ferret player glanced up to see what the commotion was as a chair tipped and crashed to the ground. There stood Korra, tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes, hand over her mouth to stifle a sob.
She was staring directly at them.
Asami turned around when she heard Mako gasp. Then the Avatar ran as they were going to call out to her. Mako cursed under his breath. "Asami, I think we better go see what's wrong."
The girl nodded as they stood. "I've never seen Korra like that before. Was she crying? What do you think happened?"
"I don't know. But I intend to find out." They rushed out of the place, leaving the yuans on the table. They followed the sound of crying until it suddenly faded away. Mako cursed again. "She probably used her bending to go faster."
"Where do you think she'd go?"
"I'm not sure. I don't know what's bothering her. If it's Tenzin she'd probably go to the park or something since the Probending Arena is still mostly destroyed, but other than that, I don't know." He looked around desperately, searching for a clue as to where she could have gone.
Asami swung her head to face him. "You don't think this has anything to do with when she was taken, do you?"
Mako shook his head. "Like I said, I don't know. I have no idea."
A/N- How did I do, you guys? Did I write like a true LoK fangirl? I have no idea!
So, will Mako figure it out, or rather, find out? What happens if Korra goes a little… too far?
Oh, and to any and all Merlin readers here, I promise I will update my Tricks of Topaz fic as soon as I can! I just am having a problem with seeing them now with… Well… With either Mako's scarf or Bolin's hair… So… Heh… I'll get on that soon.
Thank you all! Please review!