Seppen: Ello Readers! I'll make this bit short and sweet. I was randomly inspired by Xaria's torture of bowling for three or so hours a while back and came up with this. This is a completely random one-shot since I needed to do something new before getting back to annoying everyone. I hope you enjoy and have a good laugh.
Disclaimer: I own Seppen and Xaria owns herself, everything else belongs to its respective owners.
"Why are we here?" Larxene grumbled as the Organization exited a dark corridor and appeared in front of a bowling center.
"It was Demyx's idea to come here." Saїx replied, sounding as if the idea alone was giving him a headache.
"So why did the Superior stay home?" Larxene asked, noticing they were short a Nobody.
"It was Demyx's idea to come here." Saїx repeated, glancing at said Nobody as he raced inside the building.
Larxene nodded with understanding as she and the rest of the group entered the building. Demyx was already at the counter, speaking happily with the manager as he bought his shoes.
"Alright Demyx, here are your shoes and lanes three and four are open." The manager went on, handing Demyx his shoes with a grin on his face.
Demyx nodded before turning around and tugging Xaria with her shoes over to lane three. The pair were followed by Axel, Roxas, Xion and Seppen; leaving lane four for Marluxia, Larxene, Vexen, Lexaeus and Zexion. While Saїx, Luxord, Xaldin and Xigbar hung off to the side.
"Now, let me show you a real how a real bowler bowls." Axel grinned walking up to the lane after plucking a ball from the rack.
With a fluid, pro-like armswing, Axel released the ball and turned to face everyone as the ball rolled down the lane.
"Please hold the applause." Axel grinned before hearing a smack as the ball rolled straight into the left gutter.
Turning in disbelief, Axel watched as the ball continued down the gutter without having hit a single pin. Fuming, Axel grabbed the ball as it came back up on the return and walked down the lane and rolled the bowling ball into the gutter yet again.
"That, sports fans, is what we call an open frame." Xigbar remarked from behind a randomly placed desk, somehow wearing a suit with a headset.
"That it is, Xigbar." Luxord agreed, wearing a similar outfit while shuffling a pile of blank pieces of paper for dramatic effect.
"Did you gamble with the manager to get his desk?" Larxene asked, eyeing the manager's office where a lonely chair sat.
"I resent that remark, I merely asked to borrow the desk as there are no other lanes for the rest of us to bowl on. I am not a gambler." Luxord remarked matter-o-factly.
Larxene rolled her eyes before turning back to glance at Axel who was glaring at the screen as a cartoon of pins laughing at a gutter ball played before the score came up on screen.
"The lanes messed up and the ball was oddly shaped." Axel complained, sitting down in a chair as Demyx took his turn.
"Let me see." Demyx replied as he picked up the same bowling ball and walked up to bowl.
With an awkward swing, Demyx released the ball and it went sailing straight into the pins, knocking all ten of them down.
"Seems fine to me." Demyx remarked as a cartoon of a strike filled the screen, the cartoon pins covered in bandages.
"That was a marvelous strike by Demyx after Axel's failure to hit a single pin by default of the puddle, or dreaded gutter ball." Xaldin pointed out, Xigbar and Luxord nodding in agreement.
"Okay, you don't have to rub it in!" Axel grumbled as Demyx returned to his seat and began spinning around in circles.
"We can always raise the bumpers so it can't go into the gutter next time." Seppen soothed, rubbing Axel's back in an attempt to calm the pyro.
"I don't need bumpers." Axel huffed.
"That was awesome, Demyx." Xaria cheered with a widespread grin, "now it's my turn!"
Xaria practically ran up to the lane, picking up a random ball as she swung wildly and watched as it soared down and knocked most of the pins down. Everyone flinched at the loud smack and watched as only the number seven pin stood up.
"Ah, a blowout let's see if Xaria can win a spare without rolling into the gutter like Axel." Luxord spoke in somewhat of a low, dramatic whisper.
"I heard that!' Axel shouted.
Several people turned to Axel for him to be quiet as Xaria picked up her ball and rolled it down the lane. In spite of Axel's wishes, the ball soared straight into the seventh pin, earning Xaria a spare. Demyx cheered as Xaria walked back to her seat to watch the as the cartoon pin is knocked over to make a spare.
"Seppen, are you going to go next?" Xaria asked with a grin plastered on her face.
"I don't really like bowling." Seppen responded with a shrug.
With that, Roxas rose, took one of the bowling balls from the rack, and made his way towards the lane.
"Um, Roxas, I think that bowling ball is too heavy for you." Xion remarked as Roxas struggled to get a grip before his swing.
"Don't strain yourself." Axel warned, eyeing Roxas as he began to swing, momentarily calmed down.
With a labored sigh, Roxas rocked his arm back only to lose his grip on the ball as it was sent flying backwards.
"Hit the deck!" Xigbar shouted as he dove under the desk, "Fire the cannons in retaliation!"
In unison, everyone dove down and gave Xigbar a weird look as the ball sailed by. Just as everyone released a sigh because the ball was about to hit the door to the bathroom, Saїx exited said bathroom and collapsed as the bowling ball made contact with a rather painful spot.
"And Saїx is down for the count." Xaldin remarked as Saїx released a groan.
"Since when were we wrestling sports announcers?" Xigbar responded perplexed.
"How about we get back to bowling, preferably to the less likely to cause causalities, lane four." Luxord suggested as the trio carefully readjusted themselves in their original seats.
Marluxia walked over to the bowling ball rack to pick a ball as a large figure picked up their own ball.
"Excuse me, miss, but you're better off choosing a lighter ball unless you want to end up like that poor kid." The man went on, pointing to Roxas.
"I'm not a woman!" Marluxia shouted as Larxene suddenly appeared next to him so he would not attack the man.
"With your hair and, well you just sort of…" the man stuttered.
"I know I've heard it all before. Besides, I don't even have a chest!" Marluxia growled, on the verge of summoning his weapon.
"Flat-chested," Seppen said between mock-coughs.
Marluxia glared at her as he grabbed a pink bowling ball and angrily rolled his ball down the lane. The ball flew down the lane and managed to knock over half of the lanes.
"Come on, even Flower boy managed to hit the pins!" Axel shouted, nearly summoning his chakrams, after having earned his third open frame.
"And with that, Axel earns a buzzard after three consecutive gutter balls." Xaldin explained.
"Yep, those puddles sure have it out for out Pyro," Xigbar agreed.
"Axel, just put the bumpers up." Seppen pleaded, having trouble soothing the pyro.
"Not happening!" Axel shouted as Demyx rolled yet another strike.
"Demyx has now earned himself a turkey, the exact opposite to Axel's buzzard." Luxord said in a mock-amazed tone.
"Shut up!" Axel shouted, stalking to the concessions to buy a drink.
"Now back to lane four," Xigbar redirected.
"You're not missing anything; Vexen is still making his calculations in the hope of finding the perfect formula for a strike." Larxene huffed, completely bored.
Vexen looked up only to glare before crouching low to measure the lane's lengths. As Vexen was weighing the bowling ball in his hands, Xaria zoomed past towards the bathroom, knocking the ball from Vexen's hand. The ball landed with a thud and slowly made its way down the lane. The bowling ball seemed to dance on the edge of the gutter before rolling away and knocking all ten pins down.
"You have got to be kidding me!" Axel shouted, spilling his drink on the unconscious form of Saїx.
"With that, Vexen tops Marluxia's spare with a strike. Nice job, dude." Xigbar congratulated Vexen.
"All my careful calculations were all for nothing!" Vexen moped as Xaria came out of the bathroom.
"What did I miss?" Xaria asked, sitting back in her seat as she twirled around in sync with Demyx.
"Nothing much," Seppen shrugged with a smirk.
"Now we have Zexion taking a turn." Luxord went on.
"We don't need a freaking play-by-play!" Axel grumbled, sitting back in his seat.
Zexion picked up a dark colored ball and walked over to the lane as one of the other members remarked "emo" while coughing. Narrowing his eyes at the perpetrator, Zexion turned back to the lane and rolled the ball straight down the lane. Cupping her hand over Axel's mouth, Seppen and everyone else, watched as the ball made contact with the middle pin and caused all, but two pins to fall over.
"Oh my, the dreaded seven-ten split, dudes." Xigbar said with mock-worry.
"Bed posts, a bowlers worst fear." Xaldin remarked with equal mocked-dramatics.
Zexion smirked to himself, picking up his bowling ball off the return. With a great amount of confidence, Zexion rolled the bowling ball straight down the middle of the lane. Without hesitating, Zexion summoned his lexicon and sent a strong air currant down the lane, slicing the ball in half. Both halves knocked into their respective pins and the image of cartoon seven-ten split pins being knocked over played.
"Your turn, Lexaeus," Zexion pointed out as he sat down with a self-satisfied smirk on his lips.
"I'd rather not." Lexaeus remarked, not caring to explain his words.
"Come on, Axel, it's your turn, just roll one last time." Seppen coaxed, "the games almost over."
"I'm done." Axel growled, turning away in his seat.
"We won't be able to start the second set until you go." Zexion complained, regarding Lexaeus with somewhat of a depressed look.
Lexaeus glanced about, as if the place would collapse simply by him standing up.
"Fine, then, I'll bowl for you." Seppen sighed, rolling her eyes as she stalked up the lane, gripping Axel's bowling ball in hand.
Giving in, Lexaeus rose, lifted a remarkably large bowling ball, and stood at the same point of opposite lanes with Seppen. Glancing at Lexaeus, Seppen nodded as she swung her arm back and released the ball as it soared down the lane straight for the head pin. Axel seemed to perk up at the promise of a strike as Lexaeus swung back and then lofted the ball into the lane. With unprecedented speed, the ball reached the pins before Seppen's and caused several loud bangs and thuds upon impact. The second Seppen's bowling ball made impact, lane four seemed to explode as Lexaeus' bowling ball made contact with the electronics and resulted in a succession of explosions from the rest of the lanes, including lane three. The pins in lane three were blasted towards the ball before it made contact. Zexion face palmed as everyone yet again dove down behind equipment as the blasts caused the entire building to start malfunctioning. Bowling balls were sent flying everywhere and Xigbar shortly stood up on the desk, raising a breadstick like a sword before a bowling ball knocked him over.
"No fair!" Axel shouted as Seppen pulled him down before a bowling ball hit him.
"So much for bowling," Larxene shouted as a bowling ball hit the manager in the gut.
The group quickly exited through a dark corridor, Lexaeus dragging an unconscious Xigbar and Saїx with him.
"I just want to know one thing." Axel huffed, leaning on his knees as he panted for breath after entering The Castle that Never Was.
"Which would be?" Seppen asked, leaning against a wall.
"How in Kingdom Heart's name did Demyx learn to play that well?" Axel huffed, staring at the blonde.
"Of all the things you could ask, you ask about Demyx's playing skills? The entire bowling alley erupted with bowling balls and that's all you care to ask?" Larxene practically shouted.
Axel nodded, earning a face palm from Larxene as she and several other left for their respective rooms.
"Where do you think Demyx runs off to when avoiding missions?" Xaria giggled.
Saїx seemed to wake up as he glared at Demyx.
"Well, its useless now since the bowling alley just exploded." Xion shrugged.
"It did what!" Saїx growled, on the verge of going berserk.
"Nothing," Seppen responded, noticing Xaldin handing Luxord something.
With a sound whack, Seppen hit Luxord upside the head.
"What was that for?" Luxord groaned, rubbing his head.
"You said you don't gamble, and it's not nice to lie." Seppen smirked, pointing her stick at the munny on the floor.
"I swear you have a sixth sense." Luxord grumbled with a wry smirk.
"How did you know that the bowling alley was going to explode anyway?" Xaldin asked, having changed back into his Organization cloak.
"You really think that if we go on an outing with Demyx something won't go horribly wrong?" Luxord remarked.
"Good point." Xaldin nodded.
Seppen: And there we have it, I feel I may now call that bowling alley, the bowling alley that never was. Gutters are sometimes referred to as a puddles, thus I felt that if anyone were to have complications with said puddles it must be everyone's favorite pyro. Anywho, hope you enjoyed and please leave a review, thanks.