A/N: This is my gift to beegurl13 for the FAGEtastic Four. Beegurl13-I can't thank you enough for all that you have done for me and for DCM with the banners. You are wonderful, hopefully this little OS will be a small token of my appreciation. I don't own Twilight, but I sure do like playing with the characters. Super huge thanks to Vampiremama for whipping this one shot into shape. :D
Title: Giving Chase
Written for: beegurl13
Written By: chartwilightmom
Summary/Prompt used: "Chase Me Email" image
(which can be found on my blog www dot chartwilightmom dot blogspot dot com)
If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this exchange visit the facebook group: Fanficaholics Anon: Where Obsession Never Sleeps or add the C2 to get all the stories direct to your inbox.
www dot fanfiction dot net / community/Fagetastic_Four/98339/
I have spent my whole life with people giving me good advice.
Eat your vegetables.
Get plenty of sleep.
Do well in school.
All were well intended, but in the end, they really didn't help me when it came to matters of the heart.
Apparently, there isn't a manual for falling in and out of love.
I have experienced first love, first rejection, the normal relationship issues that most people have, nothing truly special.
Until my senior year of college when I fell hard and fast.
It was then that I met Edward Cullen, a brilliant student with a kind heart, inside and out. One of the most beautiful people I have ever known. We started out as friends, which only lasted a week before he swooped me up in his arms and kissed me till I couldn't breathe anymore. We moved onto dating, consuming each other on a daily basis. Our lives intertwined and mixed, everything was passionate and cohesive between us.
When we weren't in class, we were studying together, enjoying meals and sharing the same bed, despite our respective roommates. We did argue and fight from time to time, usually over stupid things. But in the end, we worked things out and moved on. Edward, the short amount of time that I had known him, had become everything to me. He was my best friend and lover.
But during our last semester, it became clear our chosen career path would be taking us in different directions.
For the first time in our relationship, I was at a loss on where we would be, thoughts of 'down the road' leaped into my mind.
Edward applied for several graduation programs on the East Coast, and I applied for several jobs in the Pacific Northwest. With only a month till graduation, I had accepted my job offer, while Edward was sitting on the fence about which graduate program offer to accept.
He received acceptance letters from three programs, all with wonderful colleges, but one in particular took a limited amount of candidates, the program one of the best in his field.
Without consulting, I made the decision for him, for us.
One huge fight, well placed lies, and our relationship was over.
That was a week ago.
I continue to stare at my cell phone in my hand as I sigh heavily, realizing that the text message is going to burn into the screen from the number of times that I have read it.
I wanted you to fight for me. I wanted you to chase after me. But instead you just watched me leave….
What did he expect to happen? Did he expect me to chase after him and admit the truth? Would he even believe me if I told him? I knew that pushing him away would be the best thing for the both of us and he knows this is the best thing for him. As much as I care for Edward, he needs to follow his heart, and pursue his graduate program.
He owns my heart, and no one will ever replace him. I never could figure out why he loves me in the first place; it always felt like I love him more than he loves me. Keeping that thought in mind was a mantra while I pushed him away; he's too good for me and I will never be enough for him.
He would never go if I didn't break up with him.
He would stay with me. Edward would miss his chance.
And because of my decision, my heart breaks every time I breathe.
I clutch my chest, a pain settling in and rolling around in my heart, thoughts of once given advice by my grandmother drifting through my head: if you love something set it free, if it returns to you, it's yours, if not, then it was never meant to be.
I try and put some faith in her words, only to be reminded that I am indeed a dumbass after reading his words again.
A dumbass that will be alone and lonely for the rest of her life.
I close the text, wondering for the hundredth time if I should just delete it. I have already memorized them, words I will never forget.
Going back to packing, I tape up a fresh box and start to fill it.
College is ending, and graduation is tomorrow. In less than a week I will be settling into my new apartment, a new town, a new place to start wallowing forever.
"Bella, did you need any packing peanuts?"
I look up from my spot in next to my bookcase to find my roommate, Angela, standing in my doorway holding a plastic bag in offering.
"Thanks, Ang, I'm good. Are you all done?"
"Yeah, Ben will be here in a little bit to get a load."
"Yeah, my dad will be here soon with my U-haul."
A sigh releases from both of us, after four years as roommates, we are also going in different directions. Angela has been there for me, supporting me and always being the devil's advocate in my decision-making.
"Are you going to be okay?"
Picking up another book, one that Edward gave me on our first date, his way of knowing that I prefer books to flowers and chocolates, I close my eyes and will my mouth to speak without causing my eyes to leak once again.
"Not yet, but I will be."
She comes into the room and gives me a big hug. "You will be, Bella. I promise. You did the right thing for Edward."
"God, I hope so."
The next morning I wake up, puffy eyes again, and my room is empty except the air mattress I slept on and my items for the day. The room feels cold, all my personal belongs boxed up and sitting in a U-haul at the hotel with my dad and mom.
I shower, dress, all the motions of someone functioning on a daily basis, all the while his text playing in loop in my head. He didn't speak the words to me, but I can hear his voice as though he did.
The tenor would have dropped; the pain would have been evident in his voice. He would have been holding back tears, the ribbon between us pulling tightly for us to get back together.
Angela and I meet in the living room, giving it a once over before leaving and locking up for the last time. With her hand on the key she looks to me. "Ready, Bella?"
A silent nod is all that I can offer her, everything today feeling more like attending funeral than a celebration.
I leave with Angela to head to the auditorium for our graduation ceremony, never more thankful that we are seated alphabetically today.
C before S.
Mom and dad are there, all smiles, and I can tell that they are working extra hard today to make me forget my pain. My mom fights back tears of happiness, underlined with her own mourning of my relationship. Apparently I wasn't the only one that wanted Edward and I to have our happily ever after.
My mom has tried to get me to talk, but there is something about telling your parents the how and why is like pouring lemon on a paper cut. Just that we broke up is cut enough.
The ceremony begins, some music, a few speakers, all before the names begin to announce.
I know he is next, I hold my gaze at my hands, knowing that if I look to the stage I will start to crumble. After his name is called, he will move on, head to the East Coast and begin his new life—without me.
"Edward Cullen." Soft clapping as his name is called, the footsteps that he takes on the stage heard even from the distance of my seat.
"Isabella Swan!" my name is yelled loudly into the microphone. My head snaps up, only to find Edward with said microphone in hand, staring directly at me.
Like a deer caught in headlights, I stare back, eyes wide, frozen while he speaks.
"I want you to know something. I'm not giving up—ever. You can push me, you can ignore me, you can break up with me a million times. I don't care, because I'm never giving up on us. I know what you did, I know that you pushed me away so I would take that position across the country. I know."
He continues to stare at me, his eyes focused only on me towards the back of the room. Everyone is watch, listening, waiting to see what will happen next.
A sinking feeling crashes through my body, regret at the deepest levels. He knows echoes as I listen to him continue.
"I love you. I have since that first day that we bumped into each other on the quad. Emmett told me I was nuts when I said that you are the girl of my dreams," he pauses to look behind him at twin his brother in line. "Didn't you, bro?"
"I know that you love me too. Only you, ever the closet romantic and martyr, would break up with me so that I could pursue what, some graduate program? Are you really that unsure about me, about us? I really hope not because I'm not going."
"Oh yes you are!" I yell back, finally finding my voice.
"No, I'm not," he growls into the microphone.
I want to scream at him, remind him what he is missing out by not going, by giving up his career and life dream to be with me. I am not worth any sacrifice he would make.
"Then what are you going to do, Edward?"
He stops, a smirk appearing on his face. "I'm going to chase you. I'm never going to give up on us. And you want to know why?"
He pauses for dramatic effect. "Because I love you, nothing is more important in my life that you. Not some graduate program, not some fancy college. Nothing. I love you and that will never change."
"You need to go." My broken heart is yelling at my head as the words leave my mouth, 'Stop! Don't go!'
"No, you know what you need to do? You need to get it through your head, I love you and I'm not going anywhere without you."
His words ring through my head, 'not going anywhere without you.'
He drops the microphone, a deafening sound ringing out around everyone, before running down the side stairs and making his way directly to me, stopping just before he pulls my body into his, kissing me soundly.
Cheers erupt around us as we kiss, my body responding with my heart and ignoring my brain.
"I can't be what stands in your way of this program," I say, breaking our kiss. The sounds continue around us, the cheering dying down and the microphone being picked up, the monotone voice apologizing and continuing with the ceremony.
Edward continues to hold me close, gentle but possessive. My body is relaxing just with his touch, softening into his embrace, the hell of the past two weeks liberating from my body, a private bubble surrounding us.
"You don't have to, you are coming with me," he whispers. "Like I said, I'm not going anywhere without you."
"How? I have my new job."
"You do, just in the same town as me. You can stop trying to convenience yourself that I don't love you enough. You can stop pushing me away. I'm in this for the long haul. I'm always going to fight for you—for us."
I shake my head, confused, fighting the thoughts about us. "But the school system is on a hiring freeze."
I did look into schools on the east coast, anything within a fifty-mile radius of his college. After hearing of the hiring freeze within the state, I stop looking.
It was then that I made the dumbass decision to break up with him.
"Not for long, the school board just approved lifting the freeze," he says, looking me, his smile wide and bright.
Until now, I didn't know that he knew all the details about my job search.
"Oh, my God, Edward," I break down sobbing into this chest.
"No, I'm so sorry. I ruined everything." The tears continue as I hide against him, not wanting to face the gravest mistakes that I have made.
"Bella, love," he whispers, taking my face in his hands and rising my tear stained face. "I understand why do pushed me, and I forgive you. Please don't beat yourself up over this. I know what you are like when you set your mind to something. Just know that I am the same way."
"Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry. I can't tell you that enough. I can't even tell you how much I love you right now for fighting for me."
"Bella," he says, dipping his head down and giving me a sweet and tender kiss. "I love you."
In a confused state, I eventually make it across the stage, shaking hands and accepting the fake piece of paper as my diploma, Edward smiling from his seat.
After graduation, our parents decide to join parties so that we can be together during our celebrations. The small table that we are all crammed into at the restaurant is happy, smiles on everyone's faces. I am glued to Edward's side, dying for some alone time—to talk.
At least that is what I keep telling my body.
Being back in Edward's arms again, I feel whole again, everything normal and optimistic; the smile on his face evident that he feels the same way.
With a last minute change in sleeping arrangements, I decide stay at the hotel that Edward is at versus the one with my mom and dad. Angela takes me back to get my car, leaving me with a few moments to myself.
This day went from the worst in my life to one of the best. So many things have changed, all because of Edward's caring heart and unrelenting love for me.
In a spontaneous moment, I grab my phone while sitting in my car, typing out a fresh text to Edward.
You fought for us and I love you even more for it. You chased me, and I have never been happier at being caught. I don't ever want to let you go again.
Feeling happy about my words, I start the car and make my way to the hotel. I remain in a dreamlike state as I park and make my way to room 306. I knock at the door, seconds later it is opened by Edward.
"Hi," I whisper, watching the happiness cover Edward's face.
"Hi," he says. "Got your message."
He reaches out and pulls me quickly into the room, closing the door behind us and pulling me into the dimly light area. My eyes slowly adjust seeing a small hotel room, candles on the few flat surfaces available. The room is romantic with the soft glow.
Pulling up further into the room, I find a makeshift ice bucket out of his cooler on a table with a two-liter of Vanilla Pepsi sticking out of it. Only Edward would have my favorite drink waiting for me.
"What is this all about?" I ask. He squeezes me closer and I grin at the thought that Edward needs our physical connection as much as I do.
"I want to show you, I'm never going to let you go, I'm never going to give up on chasing you."
"Then it's a good thing I'm never going anywhere to be chased. Edward, I'm really sorry," I start apologizing again.
"Stop apologizing, I know you were scared, we never really talked about a future together. I am as much to blame. I was so hurt that you broke up with me and pushed me away. But after I had a few days to think, I pieced it together what you did, what you did for me."
"I'd do anything for you, even if it means breaking my own heart."
He pulls me in for a quick kiss, the tension of the day starting to melt away. "So would I."
We talk for the rest of the night, holding each other in bed, divulging fears, hopes and dreams, about our relationship, our careers, everything. At some point I fall asleep in the comfort of Edward's arms.
Early the next morning, I awake feeling the heaviness of yesterday gone replaced by the feelings of hope for the future. The soft morning light is peaking through the crack in the curtains at the window, allowing just enough light to illuminate Edward, lying next to me in bed.
At some point during the night, we both stripped out of our clothes, and I find myself deliciously naked with Edward. Moving my hands along his body, I find what I suspect.
Last night was so emotional; I don't think either one of us thought about having sex, even though it has only been less than two weeks since we were together last.
But this morning is a different story.
A hard one apparently.
Kissing along his neck and shoulders, I grasp him and give him a few strokes, eliciting deep moans from his sleep. My kisses continue across his chest, to the other side of his neck, reaching his ear lobe only to nibble on it.
Not wanting to waste any more time, I straddle his body and position his hardness at my entrance. A few swipes and I am sliding down, filling myself and moaning his name.
"Fuck," Edward groans, waking up more, his hands finding my hips, his fingers massaging my flesh.
"Sorry, I just couldn't help myself."
His beautiful green eyes open, looking up at me as I gently rock.
"Does it look like I'm complaining?" He smirks and reaches behind to squeeze my ass, his hands guiding to the rhythm that always works so well for us.
"I love you," I whisper, looking down at him, seeing his love for me, knowing that I will never take advantage of it again.
"As I love you, Bella."
We make love, tender and slow, enjoying a reconnection on an intimate level that we have always shared, but have been without for our time apart. Everything feels the same but somehow different. I know that it will take me some time to absorb everything and to forgive myself for hurting him—and us.
Funny thing how my grandmother's advice rings true; Edward came back, but in looking at everything I don't think he ever really went away.
I know that my heart never gave him away.
A/N: Hope everybuddy enjoyed this, I don't have plans to expand or continue it, too many other bunnies to work on.