Okay I have the best news~! (No it can't wait) You know how I was ill before? Well basically I've had some tests done over the course of the past week which have found that I'm going to recover~ :D What had happened was an error with my medication like a year ago has been slowly screwing up my body because it was stronger than I needed so my organs were all like noooo~ but now its been found and the damage is reversible ^-^ Sorry for the overpersonal intro but like I'm so happy and I've basically been told I'm not gonna die so...yeah! to celebrate, a chapter! I'd like to say a huge thank you to all of you! To everyone who's wished me well and put up with me all this time, you guys are amazing. Literally, you amaze me. You're all such beautiful people, like you were wishing me (an almost total stranger) wellness and were so lovely and supportive. I cannot thank you enough. This is all for you! I love you guys! This chapter is a little shorter than the last, but its a chance to cool off after everything~
Lovino stared over the low coffee-shop table into Antonio's weary eyes. They had decided that they needed to talk, to explain everything, so that they could clarify where they were and where they wanted to be. A chance to understand each other and their whole situation properly. The atmospheric soft chatter of people behind them was comforting, and they both could feel their voices fading into the background. Sitting opposite each other on low, comfortable brown sofas; Antonio went first, explaining how he had always thought of Lovino as a mature and attractive young man, but was overwhelmed with what he felt would be taking advantage of his student. Then, Lovino explained how he could tell to some extent that Antonio liked him, but found his actions misleading and confusing. He had never known where he stood with the man.
The discussion seemed to go on forever, eventually they ran out of things to say or were just too exhausted to continue, and instead both just stared at each other across the gap. Lovino admired the defined contours of Antonio's face, while the Spaniard marvelled at the softness of Lovino's cheeks. It was so quiet. They had reached no real conclusion, but they both felt so foolish for their actions, their ignorance. It was so painfully obvious to them now that so much pain could have been avoided if they had just spoken. Just like they had been doing all afternoon with relaxed ease, as if they had been discussing a recent movie, or television show. Something that they had both found so daunting was really so painfully simple once they began to try.
Antonio looked down at his lap, sighing softly. "I'm going to get fired." He muttered, playing with his hands. Lovino stared at him for a while, unsure of how to respond. Antonio sounded sad, but not completely heartbroken.
"Maybe. And maybe I'll get expelled." He added unhelpfully. Antonio just looked guilty at that. "Antonio, what have we just been talking about? My actions are my own." Antonio's face relaxed slightly, but it still held a soft poignancy that Lovino didn't like. "Were you hoping to work in that school for the rest of your life?"
Antonio thought about it. He hadn't really thought about how long he intended to work at his old school. He liked being able to go back to the place he had started from, but he couldn't see himself being happy there in fifty years' time. "Maybe… I don't really know. I figured I would just go along with whatever happened and see where I ended up. I never really considered anything else." Lovino had to smile at that, it was so typical of the carefree Spaniard. "What about you Lovino? Do you have any 'big plans'? "
Lovino smiled pensively, remembering a dream he had held onto since he was young. "No plans, but I've always had a kind of dream. " Antonio looked interested, captivated by the soothing tones of Lovino's deep, Italian accent. "I don't want to live in this country forever, I want to go somewhere warm and closer to my home." He began, remembering the heat of Sicily on his skin. "Somewhere where there's lots of space, and I can grow my own food." He smiled contentedly, "I don't know what I want to do with my life, but I don't want it to be here. Perhaps I could work on a vineyard or something? Sell tomatoes and home-made wine at a local market…" He sighed languidly, "Yes, I can see myself being happy doing something like that." Antonio smiled and hummed in agreement, Lovino's dream sounded amazing.
It was quiet again. Fidgeting, Antonio finally looked to the cup of hot-chocolate he had ordered when they entered; both that and Lovino's coffee had gone untouched. He ran his finger over the curvature of the handle of the mug, before dipping it gently into the cold liquid within.
Lovino watched the older man, wanting to speak but unsure of what to say. He inhaled deeply for some form of courage and broke the building silence. "What are we?" They had avoided talking about the kiss since it had happened, but Lovino wasn't satisfied with pretending it had never happened.
Antonio looked up from the cup to Lovino, confused, "We're people, Lovi." He answered sincerely. Lovino tried not to laugh, but he couldn't help the slight noise that escaped him. He shook his head and the corners of his mouth twitched fondly.
"Not like that," He replied, a little disheartened by Antonio's response. "Are we people who are also friends, or people in a relationship, or?"
"Both?" Antonio asked, his tone hopeful but not confident. "I mean, I guess? Maybe, if you want." Lovino smiled, hope and happiness settling within him. It would take time to trust Antonio entirely, and for the feelings of betrayal to leave completely, but that could not stop him grinning stupidly at the man his heart had stubbornly settled on.
"Then, can I hug you?" Lovino asked. His smile shook nervously as Antonio blinked back in surprise. The Spaniard nodded and held his arms open invitingly, beckoning him closer. Lovino laughed as he struggled over to the other man. He had intended to just sit beside him, but Antonio pulled him directly into his lap and wrapped his arms tightly around the younger man. Lovino snuggled happily into the older man's chest, feeling the vibrations of Antonio's laugh running through him. The Spaniard's smell was musty and dirty, Lovino was going to force him to shower later, but underneath was that same earthy smell that was natural to him. Lovino took comfort in the smell that was distinctly Antonio, letting it wrap around and soothe him.
Antonio cradled the younger man softly, blowing the longer strands of soft hair that tickled his chin away from his face. Lovino's body was still so small in his arms, but something about him felt fuller, like there was physically more to him than there had been before. He was so warm. Everything felt so right; finally Antonio's mind knew peace.
"This has all been so crazy." Lovino said, his voice was muffled by the fabric of Antonio's shirt. He felt the older man nodding in agreement, before Antonio rested his head on top of Lovino's.
"I still feel like it's all my fault." Antonio replied, sighing sadly. "And I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through. I hope I can make it up to you one day." He said. Lovino wanted to take the blame, to tell Antonio that it didn't matter, but part of him was still mad at the older man, and he felt he couldn't deny that Antonio had made some large mistakes and would have to earn back his trust.
"Well, you have forever to do so." Lovino finally decided on saying, looking up at Antonio.
The Spaniard wasn't sure if he'd heard the younger man properly, "Forever?" He asked.
Lovino nodded, his face reddening as a light blush settled across his cheeks. "Well yes, unless you don't want to?"
Antonio's smile stretched across his face in a way it obviously hadn't done in many months. "I-I would love to spend forever with you Lovi, if you'll have me." Lovino hid his face back in Antonio's shirt and nodded, enjoying the softness of the fabric against his skin.
This story is so close to finishing~ Like two chapters or something left!
My next plan is to redo Six Months and then finish The Date and then on to the next story!
As far as my plan currently goes, it's USUK and should be university/college set~ I'll also try to write another story at the same time, which I've had planned in my head for years now!
I also want to start on some original stuff, so I don't fall out of touch with it, but hopefully that wont detract from my work here :3
Thank you so much for reading ^-^ You guys are the best!
Love you all!