Until You Feel Safe Again
"Hey." Jackie walked up behind Pete, slipping her arms around his middle and pressing her cheek to his shoulder. "What are you doing in here?"
"Just watching Tony."
"Is he alright?"
"Yeah, just sleeping."
"Good." She held her position for a minute, gently kissing his shoulder as she shifted round to his side. "Are you alright?"
He looked at her as she looped her arm around his, her hand resting on his shoulder as she leant into him. "Yeah."
She watched his expression as he let his gaze settle back on their baby. "Why do you look so worried then?"
She smiled. "You do." She lifted her hand to run her fingers through his hair.
"I'm just watching our little boy sleep."
"I know he's beautiful and you love him but I can tell there's something else. Do you want to talk about it?"
"You know how old he is."
"Yeah, of course." She smiled. "Six months, why?" Her expression dropped. "Oh."
"I just need a moment to remember what he's like, how tiny he is and the colour of his hair and eyes and how he's got your nose. I need to commit him to memory so I can be sure he's real, that this is real."
"Rose was six months old."
"What if it happens again?" He met her gaze, silently pleading with her.
"Oh Pete it won't." She shook her head.
"What if this is gonna be it and this is all I get of you and I never get to help raise either of my children?"
"This isn't it. We're going to raise Tony together."
"We thought the same thing about Rose though, didn't we?"
"I know." She wrapped her free arm around his neck, hugging him close. "But I promise you, I promise that I will never let you go again."
He cupped the back of her head, pressing his face into her hair. "I can't survive another twenty years without you."
She held him tighter. "You won't have to." She gently reached up to hold his face in her hands. "You've already given your life for us once, and I love you more than you'll ever know for that. But now we get our life together and our family; we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together."
He closed his eyes as she caressed his skin. "Jacks."
"Look at me." She held his gaze. "Trust me." A smile spread across her face. "Trust me on this."
He began to smile. "You know I trust you." He leant his head slightly forward so his brow touched hers. "Above everything."
Slowly she let her hands slide to the back of his neck. "If you want though we can take extra precautions. Maybe I shouldn't let you go out alone; I can make sure someone's always there to watch your back. Just for a little while until you feel safe again."
"Just don't let me carry Tony when I'm crossing the road or even near a road. And don't, don't let me go to bed without you." He steadied his breathing, holding her closer. "I need you right now."
She softly pressed her lips against his. "I'm here."