Disclaimer: I do not own DGM.
Author: Ms. Mumpsimus
Author's note: I know I shouldn't be starting a new story when I haven't even finished writing the others, and yet, this story was demanding to be written, and I was far too weak to refuse such a wonderful plot bunny. Now, the only problem is the grammar. Please excuse all the grammar fiasco that you will see. Another thing: This was rated M for a reason. Kiddies, beware. To those who mind, now is your time to turn around. And for those who don't, please enjoy. There will be two to three chapters at most.
Summary:Kanda Yuu bounded Allen Walker in some kind of a contract for one year. However, he made it clear to the man that what was about to happen to them must not register on an emotional level. Little did he know that the young man he saw that afternoon in the subway was not really the man he thought he was...
9/22/2012: Kind of edited (again). Again, I apologize if you have seen some of them. I'll will recommend reading this again, if you can. :) Thank you so much.
"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this,
in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close."
― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets
Everything was clear between the two of them.
It was a matter that needed both their consent after all. Kanda wanted everything to be clear to avoid unnecessary complications but mostly because he hated complications more than anyone else.
He hated things he couldn't control and things he had no control with.
This was exactly the reason why when Kanda approached Allen Walker, a young man, barely 21, in a subway near the train station he always passed by when he go to his office every morning, he made it clear to the white haired lad that what was about to happen to them must not register on an emotional level.
It was a work for Walker.
And for Kanda, a way of alleviating his pain.
It was something that he couldn't avoid forever – that, he knew perfectly well.
He was just a man, and sooner or later, he would crave flesh.
He could have just chosen from the army of socialites swarming around him every day but his mind was rejecting every possibilities of being tied down by someone and lived his entire life in scorching hell.
Women were dangerous. They could be the perpetrator and act as the pitiful victim next. There was no guarantee they would honor their words and Kanda was so darn sure that every women he knew was after his fortune.
So, what made him think that swinging on the other side was any different?
First, he was gay.
He already knew that since day one.
People know that, too–It was not as if he was trying to hide it from them.
And secondly, He could just feel it; that was all and because it just so happened that Kanda was the kind of man that strongly believed on his instinct.
It was a pain in the ass sometimes –yes – but he wouldn't want his life any other way.
PART ONE: Setting the (my) rules
"You have to go to my apartment twice a week. Clean." He had already sent Walker to a doctor to check if he was unsoiled and the positive results of the checkup brought him adequate satisfaction.
"You can practically use everything around my pad, but never ever enter my room alone." Privacy was something Kanda deemed more important than any other things in the world and he made sure Allen Walker understood that.
"I don't want you calling my name," he said, his voice was low. He watched the young man keenly, like he was trying to decipher his thoughts at the moment. "I won't call your name, too. Let's keep this on a professional level and everything will going to be fine between us."
"You will be suitably compensated every week. You will also be given a credit card that you can use when you shop, eat outside, go to other places, or do anything – I really don't care what you do it as long as it is nothing illegal. Just make sure your actions won't put my name in jeopardy and we'll get along just fine."
Everything's well-taken care of.
Though their first time was quite a ruckus – tangled legs (Kanda was quite a tall young man), crashed lips, a little bruises here and there, and a few moans and curses thrown in the air – everything went perfectly well.
Well, preparing him had been quite tough because surprisingly, he was so tight and all.
And somehow, he knew that he hurt him in their first time.
But afterwards, after all his preparation, the pale young man beneath him (thankfully) enjoyed it based on the moans he elicited from him.
And most importantly Kanda enjoyed it, too.
And it made him think.
Now, he was not one of those curious men out there - not exactly (because, really, there was almost nothing that could pique his interest that was why he was quite surprise that this scrawny man caught his eyes) - but at that day, he couldn't help but wondered if how many men (or women for that matter) this fragile looking man had in his life. He was one of those naive and delicate looking people and hell, looks could be really deceiving sometimes. When he first talked to him about his proposal, Kanda thought he was going to see a beet red countenance.
Or be slapped. Hard.
He was even thinking that he would be punched.
He was just damn sure he would be hit.
Still, he took his chances and asked him.
He thought this would worth any humiliation he might receive from the white haired beauty.
Auspiciously, he said yes.
Kanda couldn't believe that he nodded and said yes.
Without batting an eye, the white haired stranger said yes to his crazy proposal that afternoon.
So he thought, ah, he was like that.
He didn't even know if he was disappointed or what.
Because, really, he didn't even look like it.
Kanda bet that many people worshipping that face and that he had many of them lined up behind his back, longing for his attention.
And he is mine for the whole year.
That was also one of his conditions.
In one year, Allen would not see anyone than him to ensure that he was unsoiled.
It was already three months since he first acquired Allen Walker's 'services', and so far, Kanda didn't have anything ghastly that he could say to the young man. Allen Walker was surprisingly very hushed. He seldom talked unless he was being asked, a trait that Kanda found very positive and admirable. Allen Walker was an enigmatic man whose eyes were as pale as his complexion. His hair – the very first thing that caught his attention was the young man's snowy locks that kept on caressing his pallid face – was the most beautiful hair he had ever seen in his entire life.
He had seen many beautiful faces, but Allen's was a remarkable exception.
His face was just like an empty canvass.
He is mine for one whole year, huh...
Their weekly encounters were beginning to feel like a regular routine – Kanda would purposely leave his door open while he was waiting for a certain albino on the other side of it because Allen had this weird, annoying habit of waiting at the door (without knocking first to let him know that he was already there) for hours. He asked him, eyebrows were furrowing – You have my key, right?And when he answered –yes – he thought the man didn't quite get what he had said about 'privacy'. He then explained again but was immediately shut down by a pale hand that suddenly mounted in the air and a soft voice –I understand. I just don't like entering other people's houses especially when I was not invited.
This would give Kanda a few headaches in first three weeks of their setup.
"I already gave you my keys. That means I already gave you my permission to enter as you please."
Kanda's lips pursed in slight annoyance. "What is?"
"Entering a house without the owner."
Kanda needed to see something funny.
He closed his eyes.
He was trying to think of something funny, like people slashing other people's throats.
"I am inside."
"You don't know I that I am coming."
"I am expecting you."
"You still don't know what time I'll be arriving."
The albino shook his head.
The creases on Kanda's eyebrows multiplied, "You don't have a fucking phone?" he asked, somewhat exasperated.
"No," was all that he said.
Kanda badly wanted to raise his hand and massage his poor temple.
"Alright," he looked up and met those gray eyes. "I'll wait for you then – just tell me when exactly you are going to arrive so that I won't end up wasting my fucking goddamn time standing in front of my door waiting for you. Do we understand each other?" His voice escalated at the last part of his sentence (or question, whatever it may be) – he felt his nose twitching – before he urged himself to calm down.
He was a calculated, calm, and cold person, for fuck's sake.
Kanda Yuu was not the type to lash out and all, you know.
He seldom got infuriated like a mad dog – detested it, in fact – because he believed that a man should always have a firm, tight grasp on his temper and rage.
He watched the young man's head bowed while muttering 'yes'.
He felt the corner of his left eye twitched again in irritation.
There was really something wrong about thatface that he couldn't quite put a finger on.
He was beginning to hate that apathetic expression. He was now so goddamn curious if he could make this impassible man moaned and writhe in pleasure once he was inside him –
" –– next week."
Kanda blinked away his lingering thoughts and gaped at the immaculate face staring at him.
"I might not make it here next week."
His eyebrows creased. "Why?" He asked, his tone was a little too high for his liking.
Was he concerned that the white haired couldn't make it next week?
Of course not.
He was just concerned about the sex, that's all.
It was just about the sex.
He just didn't want to be denied of his important needs.
"I have a business to take care of."
"What kind of business?"
Allen continued in staring at him, (Kanda was beginning to think that there was some dirt on this face) his face was still as stolid as ever. "Personal business." His eyes were so clear that he couldn't keep up with his staring game. It was as if those eyes were making him reveal his inner thoughts and fears.
Personal business.Allen made it clear Kanda wouldn't be asking more questions regarding his 'business' next month by the way he said it. When someone said 'personal', you ought to draw a line, like 'It's a personal matter', or 'Sorry I can't tell you. It was kind of personal', and so on and so forth.
It meant that you could no longer ask questions.
It's already a stop-poking-your-nose-into-my-mattermatter.
Kanda sighed and scratched his head. "All right. I don't really care, really. Just be sure you know your responsibilities and you'll be here the next day."
It sounded so euphemistic.
But he waited. He waited – expecting to see something.
Something he thought would be fucking interesting.
He watched the young man's expression, fervent to see even a slight change on it upon hearing the term he used but all he saw was the usual polite face he was always wearing since the day they both had agreed on this mad indenture.
Utterly disappointed, Kanda sighed.
Really, his sighs were getting louder and louder each day since he met Walker. "And knock, please. If you really don't want to enter my house using the key, then at least knock. That way, I'll know that you are already here," he said, his eyes were suddenly fixed on the black converse Allen was wearing. They looked so old and tattered.
It was the same pair he saw him wearing two weeks ago.
Kanda's eyes plunged again into those pallid ones. His held his breath for a few seconds before slowly trying to calm down his raging heart... and hormones.
Bad move. Baad move, you bastard.
"You don't know that," he said, closing his eyes.
"I know. I know that rich people, like you, are always busy."
Kanda massaged his temple. All these innocent remarks were just making him harder than ever. He just wanted a good fuck and a good night sleep.
Allen step forward and grabbed his hands.
"Here's your key."
Those warm and soft hands brushed onto his and that was when he finally lost it.
Kanda's eyes widened in disbelief when he felt his pants tightened.
Was this his idea of seduction?
Because if it was, it was fucking working – fucking effectively.
"Bathroom," Kanda abruptly said, cheeks were heating. He was so hard it hurts.
"I'll be going then. See you this week." Allen deadpanned, unaware of Kanda's rather painful predicament.
He gulped before he turned around.
"Y-yeah, sure," he muttered, gritting his teeth, angry at himself for being so weak against this.
Damn you! He inwardly cursed his now painfully bulging crotch before closing the door.
PART TWO: The get-to-know-each-other phase
After another two months, Kanda was proud to say that he was beginning to understand Allen's way of thinking, albeit a little.
He was not really as apathetic as he thought he was.
And he was... kind of different from what he really thought.
Somehow, Kanda was beginning to doubt if he had been right at all.
"I've already put your month's pay in your credit card. You can withdraw it anytime you want now." Kanda said one night, after their hour-long coupling. He could still feel the gravity of their last climax together and Kanda was fully sated.
Excessively sated, in fact.
The boy was really a good on bed and he had been good, too, if Kanda may say so himself.
He felt proud that he could make this calm and composed fellow writhed in pleasure.
Allen, on the other hand, was visibly still incoherent. His eyes still seemed not in focus. He looked tired and sleepy.
He inwardly smirked.
Then, he his elbow hit something. "What's this?" Kanda felt a hard thing under the comforter.
He reached it and was (a little) surprise to see an old model of a mobile phone.
His jaw almost dropped.
He didn't know that there were already mobile phones when dinosaurs roamed the earth.
He reckoned they would look really atrocious given that mobile phones started invading the human world in early 90s.
And the one he was currently holding now looked really awful.
"Sorry, I think I dropped it last night there," Kanda heard Allen said, his left hand was extended and reaching the 'phone'.
"This is your phone?" He asked.
"I thought you don't have one?"
"I bought it yesterday. I reckoned it'll be best if I just message you rather than you waiting for me at your door. "
Kanda looked down at the horrible thing again. "You actually bought this?"
"It's a cheap phone."
He couldn't help dropping his mouth again. "Yeah – it... it looks pretty cheap to me," he scrutinized the horrific thing again and sighed. "You could have at least bought something presentable. I didn't know that there are still phones like this in the market."
"It's just for sending messages. I don't really mind it."
But I fucking do. "There are many affordable phones out there. New models in affordable prices."
Allen just shrugged his shoulders. "But not as cheap as that one."
One thing Kanda found strange about Allen was his over the top thriftiness. He was giving him quite a lot of money these past few months and not even once he saw the man shop for himself.
He was sure that Allen wasn't buying anything for himself either.
He saw his rundown apartment (quite different from what he actually imagined) and there was nothing really quite appealing in his choice of furniture and his other belongings.
Everything looked so old and well – old and Kanda was thinking where all the money Allen was getting from his 'jobs' was going.
It was not as if he was raising a kid.
He was single and young. He could buy anything he wanted from all the money he was getting from his costumers.
Kanda was aware that he was giving him more than he had originally intended but it was only because he was satisfied by his 'service'. In fact, there had been a time that he thought he wasn't giving Allen enough. That maybe, Allen was comparing him to his other 'customers' and that gave Kanda a bitter taste in the mouth.
Then, he saw all ofthat.
And by carefully and patiently observing, he also gathered some unexplainable things about Allen that he didn't quite expected.
Kanda was bombarded by the fact that Allen only owned a one pair of old, almost deteriorating converse. He had only three (or two?) pairs of pants (including slacks), and one jacket. There were only four shirts, two long sleeves (one of them was the one he was wearing when he first saw him), and a few boxers and briefs.
When he asked about his cologne, shaving cream, deodorant and the usual stuffs...
"Sorry, I don't have any of those," he answered unperturbedly, like he what he was saying was normal –like when you asked someone how was their day, you would expect them to say something like, 'I'm fine, thank you' even if sometimes, that wasn't really the case and they were just saying that for formality sake or maybe they were that kind of a person that was always happy, so saying they were not happy would bring more questions and that was exactly what they were trying to avoid –that kind of normal.
"You mean you don't use any of it?"
But Allen always smelled great.
As a matter of fact, he smelled so great he thought he was using some kind of expensive perfume.
What? Was that his sweat?
It was so fucking ridiculous!
For a moment, Kanda thought he saw a blush crept on the young man's face but when he looked at it again, it was not there anymore and he wondered if his eyes were now playing tricks on him.
"No, I don't use that either."
Kanda's eyebrows scrunched. "But you arehairless."
Ah. Now he was sure he made Allen mad.
The man was pouting. His voice defensive.
"I am certainly nothairless."
"You don't have hairthere neither on your armpit."
"Can we just stop talking about my hair and where they usually hang around on my body?" Allen scowled and if not for the bewilderment he was feeling at the moment, he would be glad for the different emotions he was seeing on the young man's face.
"It's kind of annoying," Allen added when Kanda didn't answer.
He was slightly mad, yes. But mad nevertheless.
"Why don't you buy –"
"It's a waste of money." Allen deadpanned.
It just didn't make sense.
Maybe, he was, after all, wrong about all his assumptions?
No. Impossible. There was no way someone inexperienced could pull a straight face like that when being asked about sex, really.
Kanda sighed again and he dropped the phone on his bedroom table.
"We're going out," he said. He stood from the bed and grabbed his shirt and coat.
"But we're still not done for today –"
"We can do it some other time again."
That sounded so fucking wrong...
"Where are we going?"
He noticed that Allen was still not moving from the bed.
Kanda looked at those disheveled white hair, the wet, supple lips, and the exposed pasty lanky shoulders and abdomen that seemingly without any ounce of muscle in them. The other part of his body was, unfortunately, covered in Kanda's own quilt, much to his dismay.
Kanda could smell Allen's naturalscent from where he was standing and it made him want to go back again there, and be tucked under that warm, inviting quilt.
He wanted to jump on the bed and ravish that fucking annoying body again.
He gritted his teeth and looked away.
Without looking back (and using so much force on himself), Kanda trudge on the door and said, "We're going to buy you a new, presentable phone," expecting the white haired man to follow him.
What he didn't expect was to be followed by a stark naked Allen.
Kanda Yuu, for the first time in his life, wanted to throw all the remaining pride he had cultivated inside him for the last twenty three years of his life and jumped on the this particular man he never would have thought would fucking change his life for good.
But he resisted.
And he fucking won.
Next Chapter:PART THREE: The I-know-you-but-I-can't–really-fucking-understand-you phase