Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the properties of Hasbro. This is a non-profit work made by an independent contractor outside of the official company's notice intended for non-profit entertainment and speculative purposes only.
By Darkryt Orbinautz:
A Chink In The Armor
Somewhere far far away from the prestigious city of Canterlot, away though train tracks and deserts roads, A hushed conversation ensued in some supremely dark place, somewhere hidden in plain sight. The perfect hiding spot for anything, be it conversations or ancient relics.
"Oh you...you always know to make me smile."
"That's what I do, Silly Filly!"
"You...you ready to tell them?"
"Them who what?"
"I...think it's time."
"Time for what?"
"OH...my...Celestia...it's so small...and pink! It's...it's perfect. Where do you get it?"
"It had to be perfect. It had to be absolutely perfect. I knew no jewelry store in Equestria would have something that like it...so I made it myself...will you-"
"YES! YES I WILL!"
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, or just 'Cadence' was busy painting the new house of hers and her newlywed husband, Shining Armor, captain of the Royal Canterlot Guard when Shining burst through the door, causing her to jump and fall of the ladder she was using, the bucket of paint landing on her head, soaking all pink feathers blue.
"Cadence! Cadence, I have great news!" Shining Armor yelled, bouncing up and down.
Cadence lifted the bucket up over her head to look at her husband's face. "What? What is it?"
"Well...you remember when you and I got married and we invited my sister and she helped us save Equestria from the Changling Queen?"
"How could I forget?" Cadence asked rhetorically.
"Well, we're gonna do that again, except with out the part where the Queen nearly took over Equestria!"
Cadence raised an eyebrow. "We're...going to get married again?"
There was a moment of silence in the room as Shining contemplated what he just said.
Shining Armor shook his head and back forth. "No! Twilight's getting married!"
"Really?" Cadence put her hooves together. "Aww, my little foal is all grown up! Who's the lucky colt?"
"It's a surprise!" Shining informed her, whipping out a paper. "We've been invited to the unveiling of who it is over at the Ponyville Library!"
"What are we waiting for?" Cadence asked, lifting the bucket up off her head and tossing it aside. "Let's go!"
After some...after much difficulty, Shining Armor and Princess Cadence arrived in Ponyville.
"I never thought that a conductor would have that much trouble loading a gryphon up an pipeline." Shining noted.
"I never thought I'd see a gryphon be shoved up a pipeline!" Cadence exclaimed.
The two ponies trotted along, stopping by Big Macintosh on their way.
"Oh, hey Big Macintosh!" Shining said, outstretching a hoof for a friendly shake. "Applejack told me all about you!"
Big Macintosh munched on the stalk of hay he kept in his mouth at all times and responded to Shining's invitation. "G'day, Mister and Missus Armor. Ah take it y'all here for the big surprise?"
"That depends..." Cadence replied coyly. "What surprise?"
"Why, the surprise about the mystery identity of Twilight's Very Special Somepony!"
"In that case, yes!" Cadence cheered.
"You wouldn't happen to know who it is, would ya, Big Macintosh?" Shining Armor questioned. "Wait! It's you, isn't it? A big strong stallion for my little frail bookworm of a sister, am I right?"
Big Macintosh chuckled. "Well, ah don't know about that, but Ah can certainly tell it's not me. Ah was on my way to Canterlot to meet some cousins for some apples. Twilight's offered me to cater, since Applejack did that at your wedding."
Shining Armor nodded, and let Big Macintosh through to the train.
Cadence smacked her lips in thought.
"What'cha thinking, about, Cadence?"
"Well...You asking if Big Macintosh was it made me think...what if we found out before Twilight reveals it, but acted surprise when she did?"
"Yeah!" Shining agreed. "Let's be discreet about it. Wouldn't Twilight knowing we know...now, how many colts in Ponyville do we know of that have met Twilight?"
Candence paused in thought. "...Not many. We'll have to ask colts that we don't know."
Shining shook his head enthusiastically. "Yeah! Let's go!"
So they set about Ponyville, trying to find a good candidate they for who thought would be the mystery groom.
"I'm sorry." Mr. Cake told them. "You do realize I'm already married, right?"
"...Um, yes." Shining Armor answered embarrassed. "Well...do you know who it is, though?"
"I have a pretty good idea." Mr. Cake replied. He brushed his hoof across his mouth and made 'zwooph' sound. "But my lips are sealed."
Shining lowered his head. "Could you give me a hint?"
Mr. Cake shook his head no.
"I'm sorry?" Doctor Hooves said, banging his funny-looking tool against the side of a payphone for whatever strange reason.
"I said, are you Twilight's Very Special Somepony?" Cadence repeated.
"Oh, I haven't got the time to be sompony's Special Somepony!" Hooves exclaimed in his British accent. "Which is funny, if you think about, since I have got practically all the time in the known universe...and some in the unknown."
"Well..." Cadence said. "Do you know who actually is?"
"I know it's somepony very close to her!" Doctor Hooves teased.
Cadence rolled her eyes. Of course it's somepony close to her, or she wouldn't be getting married to them!
"Well, thank you for time, Mister Hooves."
"No problemo." Hooves assured, picking up the payphone and dialing a number. A horrible screeching noise came out of the phone, and Hooves hung up. "Ah! The TARDIS is back in order!" He watched Cadence go, putting a hoof on his chin thought.
"...I wonder if I should've told her Shining's going to screw everything up?"
"Hey Ace, can I ask you a question?" Shining Armor questioned, trotting into the tennis court.
Ace bounced a tennis ball off of his hoof. "Not unless you serve with me at least once."
Shining shifted his hooves. "Uh...O.K., sure."
Shining Armor just stood there for a moment.
Ace furrowed his eyebrows. "...You don't have any idea what that means, do you?"
Ace signed. "Come on. We're gonna teach you tennis."
After several attempts to teach Shining Armor how to play tennis (Which may, or may not have, given both Shining and Ace shiners in their eyes.) They were finally ready to have a match.
"Ready, Shining?" Ace called from his side of the tennis field, slightly muffled from the racket in his mouth.
"As I'll ever be..." Shining muttered, also slightly muffled from the racket in his mouth.
Ace leaped into the air and smacked the ball at Shining.
Shining panicked and used his unicorn magic to set the ball alight and throw it back at Ace. Ace didn't miss a beat and smacked it away into the Whitetail Wood, which caused a forest fire. Over in the distance as thunderclouds suddenly formed over the Whitetail. Rainbow Dash's swearing and cursing of tennis players and their flaming balls were audible all over Ponyville, though it was too distance to make out at some places.
"-If I-" Dash promised.
"Wooow!" Ace 'ooh'ed. "I never hit a ball that started a natural disaster before!"
"-just one time with a wrench in my mouth and a paddle in my tail!" Dash continued.
"So," Ace greeted, walking under the tennis goalpost over to Shining. "What do you want to ask me?"
"If, um...you knew who my sister, Twilight Sparkle, was getting engaged to?"
Shining Armor stared blankly. A black eye, several rounds of tennis practice, and a natural disaster later, he wasn't any closer to finding who Twilight's mystery groom. He trotted away downtrodden.
"Oh!" Ace exclaimed. "She was that crazy unicorn who said Nightmare Moon had quit being evil on Nightmare Night, right?"
Shining signed. "Yes."
"What...are we thinking?" Cadence questioned as she and Shining hid in the bushes. "Neither of them are Twilight's type! And Even if they were, Snips and Snails are way too young for her!"
Shining scrunched up his face, noting that Snips and Snails had somehow wrapped themselves together as some sort of duct tape mummy. "You're absolutely right."
"Hey guys, what are you up to?" Pinkie Pie questioned, popping the same bush out of nowhere.
"I could ask the same thing!" Shining exclaimed, his heart beating extra fast from Pinkie's sudden appearance.
"Oh, it's Cupcake Day! I'm going around giving everyone a free cupcake! Speaking of which, could you two get down?" The two did as told, Pinkie pulling out a green shotgun with a scope and firing cupcakes from it at Snips and Snails and every one of the foals playing in the playground.
"Thank you, Pinkie Pie!" chorused from the students. They couldn't see Pinkie, but they knew who was responsible for the pastry barrage.
Pinkie cocked her shotgun and fired again. "Somepony take that one to Cheerilee!"
"Can do!" Pipsqueak yelled.
Pinkie laid her Cupcake Shotgun to her side. "So, what are you up to?"
"We're trying to find out who's Twilight's groom!" Shining answered.
Pinkie look concerned. "But didn't she want that to be a surprise?"
"So, aren't you betraying her trust by trying to find out before she wants you to?"
Shining Armor and Cadence's eyes both widened, and they both felt guilty. "Oh gee...we didn't think of that. We're sorry, Pinkie. It's a good thing you caught us in time."
"We'll wait like everyone else." Cadence assured.
"Good!" Pinkie cheered. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." Pinkie cocked her shotgun again. "There are more cupcakes to be given away!" and with that, she ran off.
"From Castle Midnight to the Halls of Iacon!" Rainbow Dash continued her tirade, despite the fact that the Whitetail fire had been put out.
The yellow lights of the tree house library flashed on as the moon finished it's rising.
Shining Armor, Cadence, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Big Macintosh all gathered up around the door. Rarity asked Shining about why he was keeping away from Rainbow Dash, but all he told her was that Ace was good tennis player. Applejack knocked on the library door.
"Come in!" Twilight's voice beckoned. They all entered and took the seats Twilight offered around the dining table. Spike rushed over to Rarity's side to make sure she was comfortable.
"So, I take you know why we're all here." Twilight said. Everyone nodded.
"To know you it is you're marrying!" Rarity exclaimed.
"Um...Twilight?" Fluttershy mumbled.
"I...um...I just wanted to check to make sure you thought this through...marriage is an awfully big commitment, and it would be horrible for you to marry somepony you just met..."
"Oh, no need to worry, Fluttershy! We've been in a relationship for a long time now. We just kept it a secret." Twilight assured her, thanking her for her concern.
There was an air of tension as Twilight made sure everypony was seated comfortably.
"Oh, enough with the good hosting, Twilight!" Rarity snapped. "Tell us who it is already! The tension is killing me!"
Twilight giggled. "All right. Spike? Pull the switch!"
This was it. The moment of truth.
Spike went over to the kitchen light switch, and pushed a button that looked it had been recently added on.
A patch of the ceiling opened, and Pinkie Pie plopped down from it and onto the table, causing the silverware to rattle.
"Pinkie!" Applejack scolded. "We're in the middle of something real important, and we ain't got no time for your antics!"
Twilight bit her lips, clearly trying to stifle a huge laughing fit.
Everpony's jaw dropped at their simultaneously realizations.
"PINKIE IS YOUR GROOM?" Boomed and echoed through the kitchen.
"Yep!" Twilight answered, dragging Pinkie close to her and nuzzling her on the nose. "She's my little pastry."
Pinkie wrapped her hooves around Twilight. "And Twilight is my own personal star, see?" Pinkie gestured to Twilight's star Cutie Mark.
"Well...congratulations!" Rarity said.
"Ah'll admit, if I wasn't seeing with my own eyes, ah'd never believe it." Big Macintosh admitted.
It was just now everypony noticed the wedding ring on Pinkie's nose. It had pink gem on it that was shaped and sculpted like a white wedding cake's lowest' and biggest level, with a bulbous detailing resembling a king's crown on top.
"You like her ring?" Twilight asked. "I made it myself, because I knew not even Canterlot's gem stores could make one that was just...perfect."
"It's covered in saliva." Rainbow Dash pointed out.
"Oh yeah, it is! I keep forgetting it's not a real cake and trying to eat it." Pinkie explained.
"Shining?" Cadence asked with concern.
Everypony craned their necks to see that, unlike them Shining still had his jaw dropped down.
"My little sister is...is...is a filly-fooler!"
On that, Shining fainted and fell out of his chair.
Author's notes for 'The Announcement.'
There are like, 4 pop references in this chapter.
You see where this is going, don't you, reader?
June 16 of 2012: Edit: One of the reviewers (Hypermarc, I think,) said the beginning was 'bit fast' or something like that. I'll try to fix that somehow, sometime. Also, I intended for the time between weddings to be ambiguous. Gives me more artistic leeway, you see.