Disclaimer: My Little Pony is the properties of Hasbro. This is a non-profit work made by an independent contractor outside of the official company's notice intended for non-profit entertainment and speculative purposes only.
By Darkryt Orbinautz:
A Chink In The Armor
Sunbreak approaches by and on the dawn
Solar lights lighting the smiles of the all the excited foals and fawns,
The Night Guard out in the day with their wings beating
Silver bells, clutched by blue hooves ringing,
Mares, united in ways more then one,
Must separate with their kisses undone
Trotting away to their rooms,
After all, it's bad luck for the bride to see the groom.
Rainbows, so indecisive and paralyzed,
Rush forward, moved by diamond eyes,
Yet these diamonds show treachery,
When they reveal plans to the one in armor so shiny
That which was once so feared to be seen,
Soothes once garbed in green.
Horns alight in their hues
Everypony starts singing old folksy tunes
What's that there in the horizon
In that veiled bridal netting?
Is a party? A fiesta?
No, you foals!
It's The Wedding!
Shining Armor and Cadence shook hooves with the newlyweds.
"Congratulations on getting married, Twily." Shining congratulated. "Even if wasn't to a handsome stallion who defeated dragons regular like you dreamed when you were young."
"Now, now, Shining, don't pick on her." Cadence lectured. "Every girl dreams about that when they're little."
Shining chuckled. "True, true...I used to think that I'd get married to a beautiful princess. Oh, would you look at that! I did!"
Now it was Cadence's turn to chuckle. "Come on. Let's give Twilight and Pinkie some alone time." with that, she and Shining turned towards the door and left the library.
"Bye guys!" Twilight waved after them as they left. "And thanks for being so supportive!" She closed the door and was met with a very perturbing sight. Pinkie was staring at her, hurt, and with hers glowing pink, like magic had been cast on them.
"Twilight...how could you?"
"How could I what?"
"I was your friend, Twilight! Your bestest best friend! But it wasn't enough, was it? You had to cast a spell on me!" The pink glow left Pinkie's in the form of dust, having not an unusual resemblance to tears. "We're getting a divorce!"
"What!? No! No!" Twilight rushed over to Pinkie and shook her by the shoulders. "Pinkie, please! I don't know what's going, but we can work it out! Together! As a couple, with our friends...whatever we need!"
"Get off of me!"
Twilight's eye did it's trademark twitch. "So, that's the way it's going to be..." Twilight sighed. "I'm sorry, Pinkie...you leave me no choice."
Twilight's horn emitted a beam of purple light which bore right into Pinkie's head, causing the pink glow in her eyes to return.
"Now, Pinkie, what do you say?"
Pinkie buried her head in Twilight's chest. "I'm sorry, sweetie...I don't know what came over me."
"I do, and it's nothing that can't be fixed with a liiiittle spell..."
Twilight shook under the covers of her bed. "Pinkie? Are you okay?" Twilight rolled over to see Pinkie awake with wide eyes and heaving chest, like she been horribly spooked. "Pinkie?"
"What? Oh...yeah. Just had a nightmare. That's all, Twilight."
"You want me to use a spell to make it go away?"
Pinkie kept her gaze locked on Twilight, her horn in particular. "I would.. prefer it if you didn't."
"All right." Twilight rolled back to her side of the bed. "If you change your mind, just let me know, okay?"
"Okay...Twilight, can I ask you a question?"
"Anything, pastry pie."
"If I said, right now, that I didn't want to get married, what would you do?"
"I'd probably ask why."
"Mm-hm...and...if I told I didn't want to get married to you, what would you do then?"
Twilight rolled back over to cast a suspicious look at Pinkie. "Pinkie Pie, where are you going with this?"
"It...It has something to do with my nightmare, Twilight. Just answer the question."
"Okay...I'd probably break down in tears, scream about how much I did for, then hurl you out the window."
"...But not cast a spell on me to make me love you, right?"
"No. Why would you even ask that-...Pinkie, did your nightmare involve me enchanting you?"
Pinkie nodded. "Mh-hm."
Twilight would've wrapped her front legs around Pinkie and whispered sweetly into her ear, but considering that she didn't know exactly what she did in Pinkie's nightmare, it struck her as not the best plan. She pondered an alternative.
"You want to go sleep with the Cakes tonight?"
Pinkie adopted a downtrodden look. "I want to be sure you won't cast a spell on me if I leave you."
Twilight sat up in the dark, trying to think of a solution. Then it hit her, of course! The easiest, most obvious solution was always the last a pony thought of.
"Pinkiemenia Diane Pie, I Pinkie Promise I won't cast a spell on you to make you love me, cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"
That seemed to alleviate Pinkie somewhat. "Thank you, Twilight." Pinkie brought Twilight close and kissed her. After that, Pinkie looked away. "You know something, Twilight? I probably should sleep at the Cakes tonight. It's bad luck for the bride to see the groom, remember?"
"That's superstition. Also, neither of us are the groom."
"You're pretending to be the groom for the minister, aren't you?"
"Well, yeah, but..."
Pinkie shut her up with another kiss. "I'll see you at the altar, Twilight." Pinkie threw her half of the ocvers off herself, jumped out of the bed and left the room, leaving Twilight
"Pinkie..." Twilight muttered once she had gone. "I love you."
"What was that?" Spike questioned, adjusting himself in his basket.
Oh. Okay. Maybe Twilight wasn't alone. She still had Spike.
Not that counts for much, of course. Who cares about Spike or what Spike thinks?
Laying on Dash's cloud bed, Rarity skipped over some magazines, looking for new things for her and Dash to do each other.
"Oh, this is interesting! The Love Bubble! A spell developed by a unicorn named Fizzy in the 1980's to lighten up her stuffy roomate Wind Whistler, this spell is creates an pink bubble that two lovers can move around in! Doesn't that sound exciting, Rainbow Dash?"
"What? Oh yeah, yeah, sure..." Dash responded, laying on the floor and looking out the window at the stars, arranged in rather silly pattern like a half-eaten cookie.
"Dash, are you well, darling-dear?"
"Yeah, I'm fine..."
"Dash...I know you. You're very apathic. But this behaviour is approaching depression. What's wrong?"
"I was thinking...about speaking up at the wedding tomorrow."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. 'How could I betray Twilight like that'? I already went through this with myself, Rare. But then you showed up on my doorstep, ready to forgive me..."
Rarity closed her magazine and put it on the dresser. "Then what's wrong?"
"Well, I know what I said earlier...but I was thinking that if I went ahead and spoke up anyway, it would mean you and I were meant to be...but you said I couldn't 'act out' on my love for Pinkie, so...and there was the screaming your name and the making-out and-"
"Yes, Dash, I know about the screaming and the making out. I was the pony you were doing with, remember?" Rarity cradled her cheek with her hoof, thinking about the implications. She had to be careful with her reaction to this. A proper lady dealt with rejection proudly, but was this really rejection she was dealing with?
She lowered her eyelids and put on a smile. "Dash? I agree with you. You should speak up at the wedding tomorrow, and if your objection gets through, you and Pinkie will have a wonderful life together. If it doesn't, you come crawling back to me, understand?"
Dash nodded, flying up to hug the unicorn. "Thanks, Rarity. You're a good friend...when you want to be."
"Watch it, Dash. I only just forgave you. Don't make us have to go through that all again." Rarity hopped off the bed. "I think I'll leave now, but we should make plans to use Twilight's trick with the chocolate cake..."
"Trick? What trick?"
Rarity whispered something into Dash's ear.
"What!? No way? Twilight did that? Our Twilight? Like, spends all day in a book Twilight?"
Rarity had to forgive Dash's surprise.
There was a reason Twilight's trick with the chocolate cake was in the 'too much information' portion of the journal.
The next day at the castle...
Chrysalis swerved around, looking at her new sparkly green dress in the mirror. Rarity stood beside the pedestal she was on, having been the one to make the dress for Chrysalis in antipaction of Twilight's wedding.
"It's beautiful, Rarity." Chrysalis complimented genuinely, satisfied with the dress.
"Of course it is. It was made by me." Rarity answered, stroking her ego more then Chrysalis' confidence.
"Celly said I couldn't possibly be disappointed with what you made, and I certainly am not. How much do I owe you?"
"Owe? Owe? You think you 'owe' me something for this dress? Nonsense! It's been a bumpy ride to accept your new position in ours and Celestia's lives...for all of us. It is my most sincere hope that this gift will help represent you being accepted! Now, if you'll excuse me, I wish to speak to Twilight's brother..."
"Shining?" Chrysalis asked. "What for?"
"I'd rather that remain between me and him." Rarity answered.
"Hmmm..." Chrysalis' suppression was roused, but she let it slide. After Rarity left, she glanced at herself in the mirror one more time before leaving the dressing room herself and roaming about the castle, waiting for when Celestia and Luna would call her for the wedding. Some guards' eyes widened at the sight of her in her dress, while some Changelings' tongues dropped out of their mouths.
Chrysalis chuckled at their expression. She thought herself as attractive, but having a dress that accented it was nice. Her thoughts were interrupted when she passed a door that looked like it was made of stained glass. There was no picture, just colors. That was weird. What kinda nutjob pony would go through all the trouble of making a stained glass door then not put anything on it? She reached her hoof out to touch the doorknob, but a stinging pain zipped across her head as she did.
"Ooww..." Groaning, Chrysalis began walking away from the door. She found that as more distance was put between her and the door, the pain lessened. Halfway down the hallway, she turned around and started chewing the door.
"I'm on to you, door! I'll report you to Celestia for this! Oh yes, just you wait! You'll pay for whatever magic is your working!"
A guard and a Changeling walking in the adjacent stopped to watch her outburst.
"Eeaa...do all Changelings have issues with doors like that?"
"No..." The Changling answered, having learned how to talk like a normal pony.
"...Do all Changeling Queens have issues with doors?"
"CELLY!" Chrysalis yelled, running down the opposite hallway to look for her misstress. Her green dressed billowed tantailzing behind her.
"Man," the Changeling complained. "It's too bad she's Celestia's loveslave...she's hot."
"Oh, I wouldn't be too depressed...you could get an opportunity with her." The guard said meekly.
The Changeling gave him a funny look. "What?"
The guard shift his eyes, trying to see if there was anypony who could hear him nearby. Spotting nopony, he beckoned the Changeling closer.
"Celestia has a dark secret." The guard. "All the guards go through an intense iniation process...and there's one part that's led to all of us to call 'Molestia' behind closed doors. Shining Armor and a few other lucky ones don't have to do it, but most of us do..."
The Changeling glared at him. "...Molestia? What kindov' dumb name is that?"
"D-dumb? Why's it dumb?"
"Just pronounce it! 'Mole-est-ia' it sounds like you're trying to combine Celestia with a mole!"
"Uh...you might want to stop talking about this now." The guard tried to warn him.
"Stop talking? Stop talking? Why should I stop talking about Celestia's stupid nickname that her guards gave her? And this step of the initiation - I want to know more about that!"
The Changeling suddenly felt large snouts breathing just above and behind both his ears.
"Perhaps," Celestia whispered into his right ear, "You might be interested in trying the process...firsthoof."
The Changeling nervously stepped forward and turned around to both Celestia and Chrysalis giving mischievous, spine-tingling smiles.
"Uh, uh..." The Changeling stuttered. "Queen Chrysalis, didn't you fetch Celestia to address the weird door?"
"I did." Chrysalis answered. "Celly tells me it's just a cursed door that was built a long time ago before she came into power."
The guard seemed to take an interest in the door now. "Hey...Princess, that's the door you and-"
Celestia motioned with her hoof for him to shut up. "Uhp-uhp-uhp!"
"Yes ma'am...I think I hear the chef screaming...Yeah." The guard fibbed to have an excuse to get away.
"Now, back to where we were..." Chrysalis purred at the Changeling, only to find him gone.
"He can't hide forever." Celestia playfully assured Chrysalis, wrapping her leg around the non-pony's neck.
Chrysalis giggled, imagining hers and Celestia's plans for the all-too-curious Changeling.
As Chrysalis walked off, Celestia cast a concerned look over her shoulder at the stained glass door.
Shining Armor paced around the floor of his apartment, occasionally stopping to look up at Cadence. He never said anything any time he did this. He just quietly looked up at her.
Cadence fiddled her hooves nervously. "So!...The wedding is today."
Shining Armor mulled this over. He seemed intent on focusing on anything other this. "The blue you picked out for our apartment is nice."
"Shining...if you want to distract me, I know you can do better then that."
"You're right." Shining said. "...so, last night I was looking up at the sky."
"Yeah?" Cadence responded."And?"
"And I looked from one constellation to the next, and they all looked like they'd been ...put together wrong somehow."
Cadence flinched. "O-oh yeah?"
"Yeah! And get this; The moon was pink!"
"Pink, huh..." Cadence asked, trying to feign disinterest.
"You think Luna's sick or something?"
Cadence shifted her eyes around the room. "...Or something."
Much to Cadence's relief, there was a knock on the door. Shining wearily opened it to find Rarity standing there.
"Rarity?" Shining questioned. "What are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to give you something I managed to get from Spike." Rarity said amiably, holding up some sort of tool for Shining to take.
Shining leered it cautiously. "This isn't going to, like, turn me into a worm or something like Big Macintosh's potion?"
Rarity chuckled. "Hmmmhmm...no, Captain. I assure you this object is completely non-magical. Oh, and ask Twilight Sparkle about the tool there when you next see her."
Cadence looked up at the clock. "We should probably get going before we're late. Rarity, would you like to join us on the train?"
Rarity bowed. "I''d be flattered to."
The three of them left the house together and headed for the train station, being joined by Fancypants and Fleur-de-lise along the way.
"Ah, Shining! Good to see you're still going to the wedding." Fancypants greeted.
Shinining gave a very forced chuckle. "Yeah, well...that's me. Going to my sister's wedding no matter what."
"Good, good...So, you've settled all your issues with Twilight's choice of, or rather, lack of groom?"
Shining's jaw clenched and grated on itself, trying to spit out a lie on instinct. "Y-No...but don't worry! I have a plan!"
Fancypants gave him a leery eye. "This isn't like the plan that resulted in Twilight Sparkle threatening to vaporize you, is it?"
"No! You know why? Because this one will work!"
Fancypants adjusted his monocle. "I"m sure you thought that about your last plan."
"Well, it will this time, really! I mean it!"
"Hmmm..." Fancypants didn't look convinced, but he dropped the subject.
They arrived at the train station soon enough, where Pinkie's and Shining's respective parents had beaten them there, but the train wasn't rolling out yet, so they had time to meet up.
Shining pointed at Clyde and whispered to Fancypants. "That is my plan."
"Hmmm...I will only say this once, Captain: This reeks of inevitable failure."
Shining scoffed. "You and your big words."
"I mean it." Fancypants whispered.
"What are you two unicorns on about there?" Sue questioned.
"Nothing." They both lied. After they said this, Celestia and Chrysalis came approaching to join them in waiting for the train. Shining found it really hard not to stare at Chrysalis in her dress. He winced, expecting Cadence to notice and say something.
"Chrysalis?" Cadence asked with awe. "Where did you get that dress?"
Chrysalis pointed at Rarity. "She made it for me."
"If you'd like Cadence, I can make a similar one for you." Rarity offered, then looked up at the station's clock. "Not in time for Twilight's wedding, of course, but..."
"I'd appreciate that." Cadence bumped Shining's leg with a knowing smile. "And I'm sure Shining would too."
"What?" Shining shook his head. "Sorry, I was distracted...uh, I'll just say 'yes' to whatever it was."
Everypony chuckled. "Just like a good husband should when he doesn't know what his wife is on about."
The train gave a steam-fueled whistle. The conductor poked his head out the window and shouted. "All's aboard if you're going aboard!"
Everypony climbed in and set themselves in a cabin. Fleur and Chrysalis started gossiping and laughing. Cadence pretended to so as not to come as rude, despite not really understanding what was so funny. Fancypants and Night Light did some very business-like discussions, and Sue, Celestia and Velvet all started going on about different sewing techniques. Shining Armor sat next to Clyde with some unease.
"So..." Shining said slowly. "Anything...noteworthy happen at the rock farm?"
"Inkie made an entire new quarry by herself a few days before Pinkie made her relationship public." Clyde gruffly answered.
Shining nodded, pretending to be interested. "Uh-huh, uh-huh, anything else?"
"Sue got a scuff on her hoof."
"Oh, I'm so sorry."
Clyde, usually so gloomy, snickered a little. "Don't let her catch you saying that. She's a tough one, and she'll tear you a new one for pitying her."
"My bad. I didn't know." Shining fiddled 'her' hooves together. "So...you're gonna speak up at the wedding?"
Clyde's eyes widened, then he gave Shining a glare as hard as the rocks he worked with. The haystalk in his mouth looked like a poison dart, waiting to be blown at some unfortunate passerby. "Sonny, what are on Equestria gave you that idea?"
Shining stammered and stuttered. "I-I-I thought I heard you say you weren't sure about letting your daughter marry a mare!"
"I'm not." Clyde answered. "I don't approve of it...but don't you think if it there was something I wanted to say to my daughter about it, I might've talked to her before the big day?"
Shining drooped his head. "... ... ... ... ... Probably."
"I got another thing to tell ya, Shining." Clyde added. "I don't approve of mares marrying mares...but I don't approve of something getting in the way of my daughter's happiness even more so." To make sure 'she' got the message, Clyde snorted into Shining's face. "Is that clear, soldier?"
Shining instinctively saluted. "Sir yes sir!"
"Good." Clyde snarled. He got got up off his seat. "Why don't you go talk to Night Light for a little bit?" He trotted off to find another seat on the train, no doubt to get away from Shining Armor.
Shining started panicking internally, clasping his hooves against the side of 'her' head. Fancypants was right! His plan did reek of failure! Now what was he going to do!?
Cadence saw the weird position her husband was in. "Shining, are you all right?"
"Anything I can do to help?"
With everypony else away from him, all Shining could hear besides his thought for the rest of the trip was the churn on of the train's wheels.
The train arrived in Ponyville without any incidents involving gryphon's needing to be shoved up pipes this time. Pinkie's parents headed for the Sugercube Corner to find their daughter. Shinng's and Twilight's parents did the same. Everypony else went off to do...stuff. Cadence noticed Shining lagging behind and stayed with him.
Cadence nuzzled Shining's neck. "Oh, Shining...what's been bugging you since the train?"
Shining looked over at Cadence. He really didn't want to admit what it was that was bugging him to her for fear of what she might say.
He shoved Cadence off. "Come on...let's go see Twilight Sparkle."
He and Cadence trotted their way through Ponyville, spotting a shaky mound of mouthwatering appletastic treats that seemed to moving on it's own.
"...W-what is that!?" Cadence exclaimed, pointing at it.
Shining looked at the tower, then narrowed 'her' eyes at the bottom of it. "I think that's Big Macintosh."
"Big Macintosh? I knew he was catering Twilight's wedding, but...but that's-that's-"
"This is Apple family legs at work!" Big Macintosh shouted at her.
Cadence's jaw dropped. Shining grabbed her by the shoulders and urged her more towards the library. They got there, and just as they were about to knock on the door, Spike opened it for them, looking quite snazzy in his own tuxedo.
"Hey guys!" Spike smoothed his headscales and adjusted his necktie. "What do you think of my tux?"
Shining raised 'her' eyebrow. "...Isn't that the same tux you wore to our wedding?"
"...What's your point?"
Cadence put her hoof against her horn. "It's right here!" She and Spike chuckled. Shining remained solemn.
"Where's Twily?" He asked, lazily shoving Spike out of his way into the library.
Spike scratched his head. "What's his...her...his problem?"
Cadence shrugged. "He won't tell me."
"Twily!" Shining called. "Twily, where are you?"
"She's in here!" Night Light answered, pointing to a door. "Me and your mother just finished talking to her."
Shining nodded and entered the door, finding his sister standing in front of a mirror. She was wearing a tuxedo that, bucking tradition, was a glossy, shiny purple rather then black.
"Hello, Shining." Twilight greeted coldly, looking at him more through the mirror.
Shining scraped his hoof around in circles on the floor. "...You look nice."
"So I'm told."
Shining looked around the room, hoping for a topic. "So...you ready for your big day?"
Shining blinked his eyes. There was no way he heard that right. "I'm sorry, I thought I heard you say no?"
"...Now, when you say 'no', you mean..."
Twilight finally broke away from the mirror to look at him, but that didn't matter much as she probably couldn't see throught the water in her eyes.
"I MEAN I'M NOT READY, SHINING!" Twilight caught herself and took in a deep breath, but the tears flowing from her vision didn't falter. "Pinkie Pie...had a nightmare last night where I put a spell on her to make her love me, and I Pinkie Promised that I'd never do that, but I don't know if I actually would or not! If...If she left me...I don't know..."
Shining averted his gaze from his sister. He wasn't prepared for whatever this was. "Uh...you say Pinkie dreamed you putting a spell on her?...Ummm...er..." He threw his hooves into the air. "I thought you did that already!"
"Is that a joke, Shining? THAT ISN"T FUNNY."
"I thought it was..." Shining muttered. He slapped himself. "Come on, Shining, get it together. Twily needs you right now."
He grabbed Twilight by the shoulders and pulled her close. "Twilight Sparkle, I know you would never cast a love spell on Pinkie."
Twilight sniffed and looked up at Shining's face. "How do you know that? How can you know that?"
Shining frowned. "All right, Twilight Sparkle, I don't know wheter you would do that..." For emphasis, he shoved her off and turned around.
"...But I do know that my Little Sister Best Friend Forever is a better pony that."
Twilight dropped to her haunches. "...Shining...am I your Little Sister Best Friend Forever?"
Shining turned back around. "I thought you were."
Twilight sniffed and dabbed at her tears with her hoof. "Thank you, Shining...but I still don't feel ready to face Pinkie yet."
"Hmmm..." Shining sat down, something jabbing his flank as he did so. "Ow! What's-" He reached into zero subspace dimension cartoon characters keep their stuff in and pulled out the thing Rarity had given him. "Oh, hey! Rarity gave me this and told me to ask you about it!"
Twilight looked up at the thing. "That's a tool jewelers use to make rings-wait...let me see that..." Twilight got up and took the item from Shining. "This is my tool!"
"Yeah. It's the one I used to..." Twilight's speech slowed down. "to make Pinkie's ring." She held the tool close to her heart. "Oh, Pinkie Pie...I was so upset with myself I forgot how much you mattered..." Twilight carefully walked towards the nearest desk and delicately put the tool on it.
"You're blocking the door, and I have a wedding to get to."
Shining smiled and moved of Twilight's way. Twilight galloped out the door and out of the library.
Shining stepped out of the room to his parents confused.
"Shining? What did you say to Twilight to make her cheer up that fast?"
Shining raised his neck proudly. "Well...it was what I showed to her that really made her cheer up. That reminds me, there's a certain white unicorn I need to give a piece of my mind..."
Shining stomped out of the library.
The wedding was set up in the outdoors. An...unusual decision, but interesting. A pink carpet led the way to the minister's stand where the bride(s) would be soon...or so everypony hoped.
"Where is she?" Celestia muttered, pacing back and forth. "It's not like Twilight to be late for a event as important as wedding...escpically her own!"
"Ah'm shore she's just running behind, Princess." Applejack assured her.
Fluttershy looked around the rows of chairs set up. "Say, Applejack? Is there somepony missing besides Twilight?"
"Where are Rarity and Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy questioned.
Applejack put a hoof to her chin. "Ah don't know."
"Oh, I hope nothing awful happened to them...that would be just-just awful!"
"Hey guys! What'd I miss?"
"Twilight!" The three exclaimed.
"Thank goodness! The three of us were starting to think y'all weren't gonna make it."
Twilight shifted on her hooves. "Well...I almost didn't, but I'm okay."
"Twilight Sparkle, I'm ashamed of you!" Celestia announced. She scooped her hoof under the rose in Twilight's tuxedo.
"A plastic rose? Really? All the expenses and you couldn't get a real one?"
"I could've, but I didn't. I figure I pulled me wedding dress out years later, I wouldn't want to the flower having rotted all over it."
Celestia removed her hoof from the flower. "...Oh. That's...that's rather well thought-out, my student. Well done."
"Thank you, Princess." Twilight looked around. "Hey, where are Rarity and Rainbow Dash?"
"Uh-huh." Rarity nodded, looking quite bored. "Explain this to me just one more time, Rainbow Dash?"
Dash groaned. "Uggh! Fine. I'm gonna stand over there." Dash pointed over by the Boutique's trash can. "Then I'm gonna start running for the wedding. If I time it right-and you know I will- I'll arrive at the wedding just as the minister is asking for objections!"
"I see..." Rarity said boredly, examining her hoof.
Dash ran over to by the trash can, scraped her back hoof and huffed, then took off blazing. Rarity watched her go with an unreadable expression.
"Rarity! I have a question for you!"
Rarity looked over to see Shining Armor running towards.
"Ahh." Rarity thought. "It appears I have been found out...Perfect. Just as planned." Clearing her throat, she gazed in Shining's direction to show he had her attention. "What can I do for you, Captain?"
"That thing you gave me before we got on the train...that was Twilight's!"
"Is that so?"
"Yeah, and I can't help but wonder why you would take it from her like that..."
"I didn't take it from her. I told you; I got it from Spike."
Shining facehooved. "I-I-You know what I meant!"
Rarity drably raised hoof to admire it. "I'm not sure I do, Shining...oh, and by the way, did you know Rainbow Dash is going to speak up at the wedding?"
Shining forgot all about questioning Rarity about the tool. "The wedding? Which the wedding? The wedding happening today? That wedding?"
"I do believe so, yes."
Shining raised his hoof into the air to celebrate. Yes! Yes! Maybe it wasn't his plan, but at least somepony was going to keep Twilight from marrying another mare! Yes! Yes!...
Yes...Shining suddenly unable to keep his hoof up. Somepony that wasn't him was going to keep Twilight from marrying Pinkie...from marrying a baker...
Fancypants adjusted his monocle with his hoof. "I see. Tell me, Shining Armor, do you think that Pinkie is...wrong for your sister, somehow?"
Shining's plan seemed to be going perfectly, judging by the look on Twilight's face. But then Pinkie Pie stood and whispered something into Twilight's ear. Shining perked his to hear what it was.
"When all...is said...and done and dead, can he...love you, the way that I do?"
"Weeel," Big Macintosh drawled. "Ah heard that Shining Armor here had a few...issues with Twilight getting married to another mare..."
"Which I still deny." Shining Armor said, crossing his- sorry, her- hooves.
"So Ah figured he'd accept it better if he went through the day as filly himself, then at the end of the night, he'd tuck in for bed and then..." Big Macintosh gestured over to Cadence suggestively.
"Now that's done...we may proceed." Luna said staunchly. "We believe congratulations are in order, Twilight Sparkle. We hope thou have a wonderful foal. Who's the father, if thoust will permit us to ask?"
"Pinkie." Twilight answered with a completely straight face.
"Eeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyeah!" Pinkie said at last. "Sure! Let's go with that!"
"I didn't use my horn on Pinkie in an inappropriate manner for which it was not intended!" Twilight snapped defensively.
"Twilight?" Cadence asked in concern, pointing at the unicorn. "What happened to your side?"
"Hmm?" Twilight whipped her neck around to see her side, still raw from Pinkie's lashings. "Oh, that...well, ya see..."
"She's a masochist." Pinkie supplied, then gave Twilight a hard glare, which made Twilight flush. "And an insatiable one at that."
"I would like to know that as well." Night Light said, leering at Pinkie. "This...physics-defying mare is marrying my studious daughter? I honestly can't see this working out."
"Oh, Twilight says I'm more important to her then the laws of physics!" Pinkie chipperly informed him.
Night Light seemed flabbergasted. "That's...impossible."
Clyde and Sue chuckled. "Well, if there's one thing Pinkie Pie does, it's the impossible."
"Pinkie, your scenario is invalid." Twilight told her. "I would never marry somepony besides you."
"If! IF! Come on, Twilight! If!"
"There is no if when it comes to you, Pinkie!"
"You like her ring?" Twilight asked. "I made it myself, because I knew not even Canterlot's gem stores could make one that was just...perfect."
"I don't approve of mares marrying mares...but I don't approve of something getting in the way of my daughter's happiness even more so."
She held the tool close to her heart. "Oh, Pinkie Pie...I was so upset with myself I forgot how much you mattered..." Twilight carefully walked towards the nearest desk and delicately put the tool on it.
...From marrying the pony she loves.
Shining scrutinized his face at Rarity. "You...you planned this, didn't you?"
"So what if I did?"
"One of the best, darling." Rarity grabbed Shining by the shoulders and threw him in the direction Dash had left in. "Now go stop her, soldier!"
Shining stumbled from Rarity tossing him, then braced himself to charge. "YAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
Rarity, seeing her plan now set in full motion, felt comfortable to go striding to the wedding.
Twilight walked down the aisle, all eyes on her as she did so. Most ponies kept silent, but a few muttered compliments about her suit. Up ahead in the sky, Luna had been so kind as to provide her Night Guards to serve as musicans, ringing hoof-held silver bells in the sky. Once Twilight had reached the minister's stand, they stopped. Then Pinkie took her turn and they resumed. As she walked up the steps, Pinkie couldn't being comforted by the smile on Twilight's face. Both mares now standing, the Minister cleared his throat and rasied a hoof for silence. The Guards stopped ringing their bells.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today. To see these two wed in holy matrimony and perform that most holy of unions."
Rarity suddenly appeared next to Applejack. "Where have ya 'been?"
Some miles ahead, Dash was galloping, but she couldn't have been going at full pace, since Shining caught up with her. Dash was willing to ignore and just focous on her goal, but Shining swerved around and placed himself in front of her.
"Shining Armor?" Dash questioned, screeching to a halt. "What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing." Shining replied.
"Uh, preparing for my last shot at having a shot with Pinkie Pie?"
Dash cocked her eyebrow. "Shining. could you get out of my way?" Dash stepped to the side to the little, but Shining stomped his hoof in front of her.
"I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash...I can't let you do that."
Dash's narrowed her eyes. "Shining...Get. Out. Of. My. Way."
"Do you promise to be together, through any kind of weather?" The minister questioned.
"I do." Twilight answered.
"I do." Pinkie echoed.
"I'm warning you, Shining! Move it or else!"
"Or else what?"
Dash suckerpunched him, causing him to stagger. He recovered and reared up his hooves, intending to bring them down on her, but she tuck-and-rolled out of the way. The two of them snorted at each other.
Dash, seeing she wasn't about go through Shining, flared her wings and soared upwards, intending to go over him, but he jumped and chomped his mouth down on the end of her tail.
Dash whinnied and flailed. "Get-Off!"
"No! I have to keep you from ruining Twily's wedding!"
Dash flew in loop-de-loops around the air, trying to shake Shining off.
"Do you, Twilight Sparkle, take Pinkimenia Diane Pie to be your lawfully wedded wife, till death do you part?"
"And do you, Pinkimenia Diane Pie..."
Applejack was distracted from hearing the Minister by the sight of Shining hanging from Dash's tail. "What in tarnation?" She bumped Fluttershy's and Rarity's knees. "Girls, look!"
Rarity and Fluttershy did so.
"Oh my!" Fluttershy exclaimed. "What do you think is going on?"
"Ah don't know...Got any ideas, Rare?"
"Not a one." Rarity told them, maintaining a facade as cold as ice.
"Shining, get off me right now or I will run us both through a storm cloud!"
Shining's eyes widened in alarm, but then he tilted his head as much as he was able to Dash's tail.
"I'd like to see you try!"
Dash gave him a dismissive glare, then barreled herself to the right of the sky. By now, everypony at the wedding below aside from the Minister and Twilight and Pinkie themselves had their eyes more on Shining's and Dash's runaway flight-fight then the wedding.
A gray cloud swam into Shining's vision.
"All right..." Shining thought to himself, closing his eyes in concentration. "You got one shot at this, Shining...make it count." Trying his best to do two things at once, Shining tried to point his horn at the cloud. A purple light came streaking out of his horn which passed by Rainbow Dash's face and startled her. The light hit the cloud, causing it to crackle with electricity before shooting off a lightning bolt at the nearest object...which was Dash and Shining.
"If anypony here has any reason why this two should not be wed, speak now or forever-"
The Minister and the two brides looked up to see Dash's and Shining's electrocuted, burnt-black smoking bodies descend from the sky and crash into the pink carpet on the aisle. Dash was out and landed first, forming a cusion for Shining to land on. Shining was still concious and weakly pushed himself up.
"Is...is the wedding over?"
Twilight and Pinkie cast nervous glances at each other.
Shining indignantly threw his hooves into the air. "Well, what are you waiting for? Say..." He started wobbling, his body making gyrating motions. "...'I do'...already." he blacked out and fell unconscious on top of Dash.
Twilight smiled at her brother, happy that he was supporting her now. The Minister reached his hoof over the stand and poked her on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, Twilight...was that an objection or...not?"
"Okay then." The Minister retracted his hoof. "In that case, I now pronounce you mare and colt-mare and mare- you may kiss the groom, I mean bridge, I mean..." the Minister gave up, burying his head on the stand with his hooves. "Just kiss already."
Twilight and Pinkie did so. Everypony cheered and whooped for them.
"All right." The surgeon pony announced, coming into Shining Armor's room with a clipboard in hoof. "I have good news and bad news."
"What's the bad news?" Shining replied, laying under the blue covers of the hospital bedding.
"The shock from the lightning bolt means you and Rainbow Dash is going to mean you two both stay in the hospital for awhile."
Shining rolled his eyes. "Great...what's the good news?"
"We can take your rib brace off!"
Cadence smiled at him. "That is good news, isn't it?"
"Yeah. I guess."
The surgeon waved goodbye and left the room.
Cadence wrapped her hooves around Shining's. "I'm really proud of you. What you did today was brave and selfless."
"Well...what can I say?" Shining asked. "When all is said...and done...and dead. I can't love her the way that Pinkie does."
There was a knock on the door.
"Come on in!" Cadence urged. The door opened to reveal...
"Ditzy Doo!" Shining exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
"My job." Ditzy answered, holding something that looked like a folded-up scroll in her hoof.
Cadence looked at Ditzy, then at Shining. "Shining, how do you know this mare?"
"She's the bestest mailmare in all of Equestria." Shining answered. "I had to be there for the signing of her certificate saying so this year...and the year before that...and the year before that...and the year before that..."
"I get the idea. " Cadence cut Shining off.
"Here you go!" Ditzy hoofed Shining the scroll. But in Shining's hoof, it didn't feel like a scroll at all, it felt like a vial. Shining tucked at it and pulled the paper, revealing that it was a vial underneath it indeed. He saw writing on the packaging- it was note!
Y'all did good today.
Shining looked at the note, then the vial. "I-is this...?" Shining quickly removed the cork from the vial and chugged the whole thing. It was incredibly sour, but Shining didn't care. The unicorn's body started spasming and convulsing.
Ditzy got concerned. "Is he okay?"
"Eh, he'll be fine." Cadence assured her.
Once the muscle movement had stopped, Shining looked at his-his hooves.
"THANK CELESTIA! I'M A STALLION AGAIN!" Shining screamed in joy.
"Well, I'll just be on my way. " Ditzy excused herself and opened the door, only to see a quartet of doctor ponies rushing a patient on a stroller.
"Move, move!" One of them dictated.
"Oooown...it hurts." The patient complained.
Shining, despite knowing he really shouldn't move right now, bolted upright to look at the patient. The voice sounded like...
"Twily? Twily, are you okay!?" Shining did his best to shout, but the surgeon ponies wouldn't stop for him to talk.
"I'll go see what's up and come right back. I won't be long." Cadence told him, then galloped out of the room.
Shining just lay there, alone with nothing but his thoughts. A terrible pony to be alone with when he wanted to know something, not think about it. Was his little sister okay? Did she get hurt? Was she mugged? Did she and Pinkie have a really big fight that ended with Twilight gettting hurt? Did she and Pinkie have a fight that caused Twilight to leave the house and get mugged?
Shining looked at the clock. Cadence had been gone for a couple of minutes.
"I'm...sure she's going through some paperwork." Shining reasoned with himself. "It's not like Twilight's did something to her..."
10 minutes now. What was taking her so long? Maybe Twilight did do something to her...what if she had a disease she transfered to Cadence? Or worse... maybe Twilight's old crush on Cadence came back and Twilight's trying to convert Cadence!
Scrambling, Shining picked up the remote used by patients to summon staff. "Hello, staff? My name is Shining Armor. What room? 114, but that's not why I'm calling. My wife left the room some time and said she'd be back, and she's not back yet. I'm starting to worry...you will? Thank you so much!"
Okay! Apparently the staff were going to send Cadence right back to his room. Thank Celestia she was all right. He put his hooves together, waiting for her expectantly.
The door was cautiously brushed open, and Shining could see Cadence poking her head through.
"SHHH!" Cadence told him. "Shining, I want you to meet Lucky Swirl."
Shining tilted his head. "Who?"
Cadence entered the rest of the room, showing she had somepony in her hooves. The pony in her hooves was a pink unicorn with a flat, waterfall-like mane that had Twilight's mane colors in it.
Shining gasped, reaching his hooves out..."Is-is this?"
Cadene nodded. "Uh-huh. Our niece."
"Do you have everything?" Twilight asked, Chrysalis standing in front of her on the library foyer.
"Uggh, yes! I'm the hive queen of an entire species! I think I can handle a single unicorn foal!"
Resting his shoulder on the drawer. "Heheh, yeah. That's what I said...before Twilight turned me into a origami crane."
Twilight blushed. "Shining! There's no need for Lucky Swirl's foalsitter to know that!...Also, I could walk by the time I did that."
Chrysalis lowered her horn and pushed Twilight with it. "Go! Go on! Enjoy your special day with Pinkie! Shining, Spike and I have Lucky covered."
"Did you have the diapers?"
"The educative slips-"
"That your friends all sent you and were approved by you? Yes!"
"GO! Out! Play! Eat dinner! Do any number of things that aren't nagging me!" Chrysalis picked up Twilight with her princess-sized hooves and hurled her out the door.
Outside, Twilight Sparkle picked herself and dusted herself off. Shining walked out the library door to check on her. "Hey, you in one piece?"
As Shining helped Twilight get steady, he couldn't help but reflect on life. He had been cleared by the hospital, Chrysalis was Lucky's foalsitter for when both Twilight and Pinkie were out, but he, Cadence, and Twilight's friend alternated being Chrissy's assistant. Twilight noticed lately that Rarity had her tail wrapped around Dash rather possessively, but aside from that, everything was good.
"Shining...I have a request of you." Twilight started.
Shining smiled softly. "Anything, sis."
"Now, Shining...this is a very personal request, and I understand if you don't want to do it."
Shining furrowed his eyebrows. "What is it?"
"While Chrysalis and Spike are here and me and Pinkie are away..."
"And me and Pinkie are out..."
Twilight paused. "You may find this slightly upsetting, since I'm not pregnant anymore..."
Shining bit his lip. Was Twilight still mad at Chrysalis? Was she going to ask him to hurt her when the Changeling wasn't looking?
"But I want you..."
"You want me to what, Twilight?"
Twilight averted his gaze off her.
"I want you to get me some kiwis."
Author's Note for 'The Wedding'
So, just to make it clear: Celestia continues her Molestia activities with the less 'lucky' guard ponies after 'adopting' Chrysalis...and makes Chrysalis a part of it. Chrysalis actually enjoys it. You know, considering what she is...
Mmmmkay, so, I was gonna start this chapter off with a song, but I couldn't make the song come out the way I wanted...so I just made a poem instead. Yay. Workarounds.
Can YOU tell what all the lines in the poem are referring to?
Except 'Horns alight in their hues
Everypony starts singing old folksy tunes' and 'Solar lights lighting the smiles of the all the excited foals and fawns,' they don't refer to anything. Their just there to make it longer. They're filler.
For those who are into this sort of thing though, this was as far as the song got before I scrapped it altogether.
Celestia: The day has dawned!
Where my student prepares to marry her chosen one!
I can't help but think,
They make a lovely couple of pink
Luna: Night Guards, quit your lying about.
Take these bells and start flying up and out
when the minister finishes his preaching,
I want to hear those bells screeching!
Twilight: This will be the perfect day!
(Or there'll be Tartarus to pay...)
Now I have something to say about this entire fic in general.
This entire fic...this ENTIRE STORY was made, thought of, and written...because I don't like Shining Armor. Let me explain.
Shining is presented as Twilight's Big Brother Best Friend Forever.
The series premier 'The Mare in the Moon/Friendship is Magic' is ALL ABOUT how Twilight doesn't want any friends.
The extended theme song included in a dvd has the explicit line sung by Twilight Sparkle: 'When I was younger, I was too busy to make any friends...'
Shining Armor's love for Cadence let Chrysalis beat Celestia.
Shining Armor and Cadence's love beats Chrysalis.
What does Shining Armor HIMSELF do? Get brainwashed and turn all of Twilight's friends against her, that's what.
And has anypony noticed every time there's a serious threat, the guards are useless against it, yes? And we are sure this isn't because they have a crummy captain...how, exactly?
I also like to think, given the way she handled the brainwashed bridesmaids, Cadence could've beaten Chrysalis on her own, were it not for Chrysalis threating to send her to the mines. You know why I like thinking that? It makes Shining look bad, that's why.
Okay, *Deep breath* rant over...
I feel that this fic isn't written how I wanted it be written. It was supposed a dramedy- a dramatic comedy. The way to do a dramedy is to comedicaly deal with drama. I feel the story shifts from comedy to drama at random. But nonetheless...it was a learning experience for me, and I appreciate everyone who went out of their way to point all the flaws that they saw so that hopefully, in the future, my stories won't have them.
Lucky Swirl's name is taken from a blind bag pony redeco of Twilight Sparkle. Fitting, no? Her appearance it supposed to be Pinkie's coat and the flat hair Pinkie has when depressed, but with a horn and Twilight's hair colors, just in case this wasn't clear.
So, this is the end of 'A Chink In The Armor'...in the meantime, keep it real...and later, I'll see you *poke* in Componydium.