"I already told you - it's not easy. But it's fate. There's something you need to understand," Thalia said seriously. "Whatever happened in the past, Rachel, you need to put it behind you. It's the only way people like me and you can get by in this life time."
Rachel stared at Thalia, feeling her eyes burning. Her voice was barely audible when she asked, "How do you deal with it?"
Thalia's answer was simple. "Let it go."
Welcome to a companion piece for Letting Go.
I found this in my documents from a long time ago and thought it was about time to put this up.
Thalia and Luke are one of the deepest yet least developed pairings in the series. Although their story was left untold, I think one thing is for certain: Thalia learns to move on the second she joins the huntresses. This is a closer look at Thalia's story.
At first, it stings.
Thalia learns to tame it quickly. His name, every time it's spoken, sparks a feeling that is like second nature to her now. It starts like a sudden blow to her stomach as if a series of lightning bolts have been absorbed inside of her within that one millisecond. The feeling crawls its way up to her heart, igniting a sharp burn. It stings her.
It's a feeling Thalia's all too use to.
She's been allowing her heart to sink for days, but she won't admit it. As Thalia harbors the worst type of devastation inside of her, she still fakes a smile.
"Luke's gone." Annabeth's voice trembled. "He's a traitor."
Thalia's stomach turns every time she allows herself to think about it. She thinks about it a lot.
He's a traitor.
It's not about self-control anymore. Thalia allows herself. She's been trapped in a frozen world much too long to fight it anymore; Thalia does whatever she can to please her heart. She allows herself to think about it.
He betrayed you.
Thalia's confused. She would give anything to let her scream be heard – to wake up as if everything from the moment she last saw his face until the second she saw daylight again was a dream.
She has her family by her side. Thalia's never felt more loved as she feels Annabeth's worried gaze on her. Thalia knows she'll be okay.
But, she's missing a part of her.
She thinks about his voice – what they would be talking about if he was right next to her. She thinks about how it would be if she still had him. She would be happy.
Then, Thalia stops.
As much as she wants to believe it, it's not true.
He's the enemy.
Thalia knows deep down that he's flawed. Ice flows through his veins; anger and evil behind his dry smirk, and blood flowing with the darkest deeds behind the scar on his face.
He's a disappointment. He let you down.
So, Thalia tells herself to shut up. She decides to use logic. He's the bad guy. She's safe and protected, far away from him. There's no reason for her to be upset. She's free to move on, untangled from someone who was always meant to seek suffering.
So why does it hurt her so much? Why does she feel pathetic? Why is she angry at herself?
For the first time in her life, Thalia's not in control. She can burn her thoughts to nothing but dull whispers crawling in vacant space in her mind. But Thalia can't stop her dreams.
Her dreams are clear. She sees a vision. A vision that he'll leave it all – leave it all for her. She can't stop her mind from venturing into the same dark corners that he led himself into – she thinks about standing by his side; on his team.
She wrestles with this type of confusion for the first few weeks after learning about Luke's betrayal.
Thalia learns to find comfort in her friends. She learns what it feels to communicate again, to laugh. She can't be upset for their sake. She can't show her pain. So, instead, Thalia smiles as she hugs Annabeth. For a while, it's alright again.
Thalia gives up. Underneath her thoughts of logical processing, burned out feelings, and fake smiles, there's only one type of sensation Thalia can identify: it hurts.
Luke is hurt, too. She sees it in his eyes as she stands face to face with him on Mount Tam. Her fear of heights, Annabeth underneath the sky, Percy gripping Riptide, the feeling of lurking evil in the golden coffin right behind him – everything is gone as she stares back at him for the first time in years.
"Luke…" she chokes. "What happened to you?"
He tempts her. "Don't you remember all those times we talked?" She doesn't hear his words over the look in his eyes. "It can be like old times. It's my last chance. Please."
Behind his words there's pain. He misses her. He wants Thalia just as much as she wants him. But Luke is in too deep. There's no backing out. It stings him the same way in burns her.
Thalia suddenly remembers her promise to herself. She promised– she needed to see him. She needed to see him one last time to know for sure.
"All we need is your help."
Thalia only lets herself search his eyes a moment longer before letting it click.
"You aren't Luke. I don't know you anymore."
Thalia knows for sure – it's not the same. The boy in front of her isn't Luke. She expects it to come over her harder than it ever has before, but instead, a cloud of satisfaction seems to settle over her heart. The boy she loved died the second he let his own anger give away his soul to evil.
Thalia had waited for this moment. She had spent every breath running and fighting on her quest to get to where she was now – standing in front of him just to let her heart make its decision.
Thalia lets go.
She can't feel the love anymore. Luke's as good as dead in her eyes. She knows she's been gone too long; it's too late to save him. So, she lets him go.
Thalia's not thinking while she lets her impulse take over. It's only when Luke's sword falls to ground, clattering among the rocks, that she realizes her position. There are tears in her eyes. He's bleeding.
He's a traitor. A traitor.
Thalia has her spear to his throat. Before anyone can stop her, before she can stop herself, Thalia pushes him off the edge of the rocks, immediately feeling the absence of his form as he now lies on the stone below. He's broken and breathless.
Thalia inhales deeply as she stands with her feet braced steadily on Olympus.
She knows it's over. There's no going back. She can't even look back. There's only moving on.
As she accepts it, it still stings. Letting go hurts.
Thalia finds strength. As she closes one chapter in her life, she fights between regrets and painful memories. The one thing that keeps her going is hope. She hopes that one day something will replace the hole in her heart. She needs something to patch the wound.
The next time Thalia takes a deeps breath, she feels lighter. Thalia knows she's scarred. The wound is stitched, but it won't stop oozing blood. Thalia's stronger than this. She's stronger than him. She's lost less than he has.
Thalia is ready to put the memories behind her and walk on to the other side. Thalia's only taking away strength.
As Thalia speaks her next words, she's doing something far bigger than letting go.
"I will," Thalia says firmly. "I will not turn sixteen tomorrow. I will never turn sixteen. I won't let this prophecy be mine. I stand with my sister Artemis. Kronos will never tempt me again." Thalia doesn't know it, but she's digging her fingernails into the flesh on the palm of her hand. "I pledge myself to the goddess Artemis. I turn my back on the company of men."
Thalia's moving on.
I hope this can be a minor conclusion to the endless nature of Thalia and Luke. Review?