It Involves the Kevney letters, i didn't know where to put it so forgive me. Also I know songfics aren't allowed but I just had to write something to this song called "I Still" by The Backstreet Boys. Hope you guys enjoy and ps. don't tell


"WHO ARE YOU NOW, ARE YOU STILL THE SAME OR DID YOU CHANGE SOMEHOW"

Kevin wrote on a sheet of yellow writing paper but then tore it out and crumbled it. He was writing a letter to someone that he has loved forever. That would be the first contact he has had in years with her since the last time they had been together. He had no idea what she was going through until a friend of his informed him that he had to reach out. There was so much involved in that situation, he didn't know how to respond to their request. He thought about calling her, but what good would that do? So many people around her keeping her away from certain things, he probably would get some lame ass excuse saying that she isn't available. And if he left a message for her to call him back she would NEVER receive it. And if word gets around that he is trying to hook up with her the press would have a field day. They had already been on to him for years about what his true feelings for her were thanks to his big mouth. So what good would writing a letter do? He didn't know but he would try anyway.

"WHAT DO YOU DO AT THIS VERY MOMENT WHEN I THINK OF YOU?"

He often wondered how she was coping with life, raising her growing daughter and still dealing with that ass hole husband of hers. How could she stay with him for so long, was it to prove a point or was it that because at the time she couldn't have him. He was married and on the verge of divorce but she didn't want to get the blame. No matter what he did or say nothing could stop the world from blaming his divorce on her. She was right when she told him that so long ago. Not long after they wrapped the movie she got married and it broke his heart. He made up some excuse not to go to the wedding and his wife at the time agreed that they shouldn't attend. The wife was a little jealous because she seen the chemistry, she seen the fire that myself and my love had for each other. We were the perfect match that god created but the woman who stole my heart didn't see it that way.

"NO MATTER HOW I FIGHT IT CAN'T DENY IT JUST CAN'T LET YOU GO"

He started to write down more words his brain fed him but it turned into his feelings

"I STILL NEED YOU, I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU. THOUGH EVERYTHING'S BEEN SAID AND DONE. I STILL FEEL YOU LIKE I'M RIGHT BESIDE YOU. BUT STILL NO WORD FROM YOU"

He ripped the sheet of paper off again and threw it in the waste basket. He was frustrated! He wanted her to know that he still felt the same way he did back in 1991 when they were filming their only movie together. His heart was telling him to jump on a plane and go find her but he couldn't. He couldn't just go and take her away from it all. He wanted to but so many obstacles stood in his way, her husband for one which he was sure he could just knock out one time, his fiancé which let's face it he just settled for. It's just so many things in the way that shouldn't stop him but it does. And what if she doesn't want to see him now?

"NOW LOOK AT ME INSTEAD OF MOVING ON I REFUSE TO SEE. THAT I KEEP COMING BACK YEAH I'M STUCK IN THE MOMENT. THAT WASN'T MEANT TO LAST"

He knew what he was getting himself into once he fell for her though. He still remembers the days they spent couped up in hotel rooms, trailers, anything you name they were there with each other. All were spent making passionate love, laughing, crying, they did everything together for those months and no one knew. Maybe except a few people in her life the ones she held close to her. So many nights in each other's arms talking about what a future would be like with each other only to come back to the reality of it never happening.

"I TRIED TO FIGHT IT CAN'T DENY IT, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW"

That's right she didn't know. She didn't know that he spent years after his divorce waiting for her to come to his senses. Waiting for her to leave that ass clown, he would have helped raise her daughter, he would have loved her no matter what. He had heard that around 1994 or 1995 she was ready to divorce him but they worked things out and stayed together. She lied to the press all the time about how much she was in love with her husband. The fact was that she was in love with pretend bodyguard. He would always remain her bodyguard far as he was concerned. The reason once again for not leaving her husband was to prove to the world that her marriage could work, just like she "proved" to the world that she was hood after the soul train incident. She didn't have to prove shit to him because he loved her just the way she was. She didn't have to change a thing for him or anyone. She was perfect.

'I WISH I COULD FIND YOU JUST LIKE YOU FOUND ME THEN I , THEN I WOULD NEVER LET GO"

He wanted to find her and just smack some sense into her. Why the hell was she so deep in drugs? Those enablers kept her strung so they could milk her dry. How could she let that happen, how could he let that happen to her. Why didn't she let him into her life, things would have been so different. The press kept talking bad about her and he defended her every chance he could get but she would never know. The people that started out as her crew in the beginning of her career were no longer there and were now replaced with new ones. New people who didn't give a damn and he knew it. If he could find her he would never let go.

He started to write the letter again and actually made it past a few lines. He wishes he could go back in time and do things over again and make her see that they should be. But for right now this is all he can do until she comes back to him.

"THOUGH EVERYTHING'S BEEN SAID AND DONE. I STILL FEEL YOU LIKE I'M RIGHT BESIDE YOU. BUT STILL NO WORD FROM YOU"

Kevin mails off his letter to make the journey to Atlanta. He it finds it's way to her and if she doesn't he will surely write more.