"Hokage-sama! They're at it again!" yelled a random shinobi looking frazzled.
"What is it this time?" the Hokage sighed.
"See for yourself!"
The Hokage looked out...and face palmed.
He had hopes that Harry would be a good influence on Naruto...which he was to an extent. But what he hadn't know was that Harry was just as big a prankster as Naruto, with an unlimited supply of magical tricks. To make matters worse, he had corrupted Sasuke!
Not that he was really complaining about that bit, mind you, but really was it too much to ask that they not target the ANBU every week?
He sighed. And went to the owl that was on permanent standby near his window.
"Really Harry, can't you at least pretend to try and curb their impulses?" complained Sarutobi.
"I could, but frankly it's their fault."
"How is it their fault?"
"If they didn't bother the boys so much with their looks of pity and disgust annoy them so much they can't help it."
The Hokage conceded the point. Most of the really unpleasant pranks had been caused by people not keeping their mouths shut, or worse, openly praising the Uchiha in front of his now surrogate younger brother while scorning Naruto in the same breath.
Those had been particularly horrific to watch.
"Still, it would be nice to have one week without them pranking the ANBU."
"Why didn't you just ask them? I'll see if they'll leave the ANBU alone for a month, how's that?" said Harry.
"Thank you..." said the Hokage with some relief.
He didn't see the grin Harry had on his face when he closed the door. If there was one thing the Hokage loved about Harry, it was the fact that unlike a good majority of his shinobi forces, Harry actually used the door to leave instead of jumping out the window.
"HOKAGE-SAMA!" yelled an irate Hiashi.
The Hokage took one look at him, and started banging his head. It had been a month since Harry had promised to get the boys to leave the ANBU alone...and immediately after he hit the Hyuga clan.
The entire Hyuga clan.
Hiashi looked like something out of a paint factory and he had rabbit ears on his head.
Evidently Harry had convinced the two to use the month planning a prank spree the likes the village had never seen.
He stopped banging his head on his desk long enough to open the window, which the owl flew out of without being told or handed anything.
A helpful chunin brought him some fresh sake once the banging noise stopped. He was actually grinning at the sight of Hiashi's new look, but then again he was a branch member of the Hyuga clan.
The owl returned with a note from Harry.
He read it...and started swearing worse than a sailor.
Took the boys out for a well deserved camping trip outside the village. The papers are probably buried under the mission requests from the Daimyo's Wife, so you most likely won't receive this letter until after Hiashi storms into your office looking pissed off.
To be fair though, he should know by now that I don't condone child abuse, even under the guise of training his heir.
Tell him that if Naruto and Sasuke hadn't seen the signs we might have left his clan alone. If he doesn't want a repeat, learn to be a better father.
The Hokage handed the note to Hiashi, who looked like he was fully prepared to castrate Harry for that comment. It took the Hokage five minutes to locate the paperwork Harry had left on his desk, and to his annoyance it was filled out properly for a month long vacation outside the Elemental Countries.
A week before Harry had filed for passports for both boys and a leave of absence from the Academy for a month. The Hokage had been so swamped with paperwork at the time that he hadn't actually read any of it aside from mission requests.
Looking back on it, that was probably a bad idea.
Harry waited an hour before putting camp up, and sure enough the Hokage sent a letter back. As well as a warning that he had best stay out of sight for an additional month, because Hiashi was looking to kill him.
He filled out the request for a two month leave (which the Hokage sent along with the note) and then whistled for the two boys to join him.
They had gone fishing with the wolf like Padfoot, who doubled as a guard sentry.
They came back with four large fish, which had Harry grinning.
"This will be dinner!" he said cheerfully.
"What did the Hokage say?" asked Naruto eagerly.
He had been the one to alert Harry about the abuse Hinata suffered.
"We taking an extra month off. I don't want to be castrated by an irate Hyuga."
Naruto and Sasuke laughed hard at that. It was Harry's idea to hit them once their month long hiatus ended. But it was Sasuke's idea to leave the village and see Britain, since they had been told stories of it by Harry.
Plus Harry needed to refill his pranking supplies, since Naruto and Sasuke kept swiping them. Apparently chakra could be used to activate some of the more magical components.
Naruto and Sasuke were both excited for this trip. Neither of them had been outside the village before.
"HARRY JAMES POTTER! WHERE THE BLOODY HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" shrieked Ron.
Ron was looking more fit than the last time Harry had seen him. He had actually started to go to seed.
Harry had wisely silenced his ears to save his hearing, and a few weeks in the T and I department had taught him to read lips like a pro.
It was easy enough to trade for those lessons, once he bribed Ibiki with a potion called veritaserum. Needless to say Ibiki loved that little potion, since they could torture a suspect and then get the real answers out of him to verify.
Naruto and Sasuke were being shown around by an amused Luna, so they were spared the scream fest.
By the time Ron was done with the very impressive impersonation of his mum, Harry cheerfully removed the spell on his ears. Ron was still peeved at him.
"Nicely done. I zoned out about halfway through, but all in all very impressive."
Ron looked at Harry with pure rage in his eyes.
"How could you trick me like that?" he demanded.
"I didn't trick you. I told you that you would be getting my job with all it's perks, and that's what you got. It's your fault for not considering the fact that it had to have it's downsides."
Hermione, who stood there throughout the rant fest with some annoyance, looked at Harry with disbelief.
"...I can't believe that never occurred to me either," she said.
"I needed a vacation, and found a new job that I actually like. Besides, Naruto and Sasuke need me more than the magical community, plus the fan girls can't exactly follow me to Konoha without attracting enough attention for me to get away."
And then Harry looked unrepentant about the whole thing.
"That, and it was the funniest prank I've played in a while."
"NII-SAN!" yelled an orange and blue blur.
Harry caught Naruto with practiced ease. His body had hardened during the year he lived in Konoha. Hardened enough to take a flying Naruto Tackle without getting a massive bruise the next morning.
Ron and Hermione had tensed when they heard the volume level Naruto let off, but relaxed once they found the source.
"So who are these kids anyway?" asked Ron.
"Naruto Uzumaki. I took him in once I learned that his village for some reason hates him as much as the Dursley family hated me. The little pyromaniac behind me is Sasuke Uchiha. He decided to live with me after his brother murdered his entire clan, leaving him an orphan. I was the only person who would treat him like a normal person instead of worshiping the ground he walked on."
Ron and Hermione gawked a bit at that, before looking at Harry in disbelief.
"Bloody hell...it's you with both sides of your personal issues..." said Ron.
"How long you staying?"
"Two months. More than enough time for a certain clan to lose interest in castrating me for a prank we played on them," Harry replied with a grin.
Harry cheerfully handed in his resignation from the Auror department (which meant Ron was stuck with his old job until he decided to drop it) and went to see George.
It had been a bit of a shock to Harry to learn that his natural attribute was lightning.
Kakashi, the one ANBU who didn't curse him on sight, taught him a few lightning jutsu which Harry spent quite a few months turning into their spell equivalent.
Chakra and Magic, while being practically identical, did have a drawback.
After turning 10, it was impossible to unlock chakra coils in a mage without crippling them. Fortunately Harry had spent an entire five months learning how to cast wandless magic behind his former mentor's back, which meant he could adapt as necessary.
It had taken weeks of nonstop training for Harry to duplicate Kakashi's lightning jutsu, but the results had been worth it.
Harry found George in St. Mungo's, with his brother's comatose body. Fred had taken a nasty hit during the battle of Hogwarts, and for some reason had yet to wake up. George spent every weekend by his brother's side, hoping his twin would finally wake up.
Harry made sure Naruto was quiet with Sasuke trailing behind him as he walked up to George.
Harry looked at Fred's sleeping face, and a crazy idea came to him. Unseen by George, Harry's hand was sparking.
Harry laid a hand on Fred's shoulder, and a jolt of electricity equivalent to a muggle stun gun went through him. It wasn't enough to put the boy into cardiac arrest, but it was definitely worth a shot.
Fred's eyes flew open, and he looked around with crazed eyes.
George, once he realized Fred was finally awake after three long years, cried tears of relief.
"...I honestly didn't expect that to actually work."
"Nii-san, what did you just do?" asked Naruto.
"I gave him his wake up call. Perhaps all he needed was a shock strong enough to show him the way back," mused Harry.
"Harry? George? How long have I been out?" said Fred in confusion.
"Three long years. Welcome back Gred," said Harry with relief.
Molly Weasly looked at her special clock out of habit. It took her three seconds for the change to register.
Where Fred's hand used to be at 'Mortal Peril' it was now on another spot entirely. Her heart nearly stopped, as she looked at it again, hoping the clock wasn't broken.
Then George's face burst through the floo.
"He's awake! Harry woke him up!" he cried.
The second that registered in her mind, she started crying tears of relief and activated the floo tree that Hermione had developed for mass calling of the family.
Withing minutes the entire Weasly clan, children and all, were beside Fred crying tears of relief.
Upon learning that it was Harry who woke Fred up after three years, the Weasly brood decided to throw a party. Naruto and Sasuke were completely caught off guard by how lively the family was.
Parties in Konoha were either wild or destructive. But this sort of liveliness without worrying about the ANBU showing up telling them to turn it down or jutsu being thrown about by drunken idiots was new to them.
Both of them absolutely loved meeting Teddy Lupin, Harry's godson. Particularly when he made himself a double of both of the boys.
Naruto originally had been concerned Harry loved Teddy more than him, until he learned that the bright little boy mostly lived with Harry when his grandmother needed a year off.
Which was why Teddy was going to spend a few years with them until he could go to Hogwarts, and then he would live with Andromeda.
By the time the four returned to Konoha, (after getting a passport for Teddy) they couldn't help but feel relief.
Fred had taken the news he had been asleep for three years well enough. It had taken the twins a month to return to their old selves. George in particular seemed much more lively now that Fred was back.
In Hermione's words, he no longer acted like a living Inferi.
The second Kotetsu and Izumo spotted Harry, they grinned.
"Back to wreak more havoc?"
"Back for good. A few life changing events back home, but no biggie."
"My surrogate older brother was in a coma, but a shock to the shoulder woke him up. Who knew Naruto is a fun drunk?"
"...You got him drunk?" asked Kotetsu slowly.
"Well actually it was the twins who gave him an entire bottle of fire whiskey, but you get the idea. Thank kami he doesn't know any jutsu yet, or the house would have been in ruins," said Harry cheerfully.
"...What about the Uchiha kid?"
"Those poor chickens..." said Harry solemnly.
The two gate guards laughed.
"I thought I scared away the gnomes?" asked Sasuke in a whisper to Naruto.
"I think he didn't want to confuse them..." whispered Naruto.
"So who's the new chibi?"
"Godson. His grandmother needed a break and I promised to take him in until he was old enough to go to the school I went to."
"The Hokage know about this?"
Harry handed the passport, complete with Hokage's signature.
"Carry on then. It's been waaay too quiet since you left," said Kotetsu grinning.
"Any requests on targets?"
"Anko and Ibiki. You've never heard such whining. Oh, and Ibiki ran out of that potion you gave him last week."
"I'll get to brewing as soon as Teddy is settled in."
Iruka took one look at the class, and hid a grin.
It had been so peaceful for the last two months that he could actually call it boring.
To the shock of the more biased teachers, Naruto had improved leaps and bounds since his vacation. Harry was a better teacher than most, and even Sasuke's grades improved.
Of course that wasn't the biggest change. In a few years Teddy Lupin, Harry's godson, was going to join the Academy. All it had taken was a small demonstration of Sasuke's Grand Fireball and the kid had been hooked. Harry didn't have a problem with it, since it would give Teddy a head start on combat training.
Teddy wanted to be an Auror like his mother, and this would help
him later. People were already cursing the boy's ability to mimic others, particularly children. It had taken quite a few sake bottles to get over the sight of two Naruto. Iruka and the Hokage had been the only ones to laugh.
Naruto was bringing lunch to Kotetsu and Izumo for Harry when he saw a pair of familiar faces.
"Gred! Forge! What brings you to the village?" asked Naruto excitedly.
"New shop. We're going to be the first wizard's shop in Konoha!" said Fred with a victory sign.
The Hokage decided to bring in some new blood by allowing wizards into the village. They had to pass a test first, but once they got over the idea that the statute of secrecy didn't apply in the Elemental countries things tended to go rather smoothly.
Most of the new blood happened to be muggleborns, who rather liked the fact that there wasn't any blood prejudice in Konoha.
It ended up with a sudden influx of new students at the Academy. (And to the Hokage's absolute delight a drop in paperwork. Most of it was repair requests from civilians, which was usually solved by asking the nearest wizard to cast a repair spell.)
Thanks in part to the donation Harry gave to the village, they were able to build a new Academy. Now it had classes for magic and chakra.
It was during this transition that Harry met the Aburame clan. They were a rather neutral force when it came to the clan meetings (in which Harry only took part because he was Sasuke's guardian and the head of a clan by Konoha standards) but most people avoided them because of their techniques.
Something Harry found quite silly, to be honest. He always went out of his way to be friendly and nice to Aburame members, which usually resulted in Shibi siding with him during the meetings.
The fact that Harry would willingly work alongside an Aburame and even share a room with them when the situation called for it meant he was on their good side.
And once he explained why he approached that particular clan, it lead to a startling change in the Aburame heir.
Upon learning that Harry didn't find the clan creepy, Naruto and Sasuke decided to try befriending Shino. To the horror of the Hokage, this lead to Shino joining their little group in pranks.
Harry had bridged the gaps between clans. Naruto and Sasuke were good friends with the Hyuga (Hiashi, once he calmed down, looked back on his actions and realized Harry had a point. Hinata slowly quit being a wallflower because of it) Aburame, Nara, and Akamichi clans.
However the amount of chaos their group could inflict (particularly when they were testing a Weasly Twin prank) was enough to drive him to drink.