I do not own Pokemon... ONWARD!

Dear Diary,

I've loved him for so long, much longer than you could believe. I love him so much it hurts my aching heart. I cannot grasp the thought that he has gone from me forever. I must fight for myself, that I am allowed... At least, I want to fight for him, but he already has a girlfriend. He says he loves her, and I can't help but feel my heart breaking when he says that. Oh, now I've made myself cry... I don't wish to write anymore.


I brushed my watery tears away as I shut my diary. It was too early in the day to make myself cry. I stood, backing away from the desk and wandered through my house. My pokemon stared at me, seeming to be worried in their own way. I patted my krabby's head and padded outside to retrieve the mail. It should have arrived by now. I opened the white mailbox, peering inside expectantly. Within sat the usual pile of mail, which was generally a bunch of junk. I pulled out the pile and began to scan through them when I came across a fancy looking letter.

To: Miss Misty...

I stared at it for a moment then proceeded to open it as I walked back into my house with the rest of the mail in the crook of my elbow. I pulled out the elegant card and began to read it. It wasn't everyday that I received something like this.

We cordially invite you to the joining of:


Ketchum & …

I stopped reading. I knew exactly who the name of his fiancée belonged to. I cringed in attempt to hold back my tears. I had no chance now... I felt the paper crumpling in my shaking hands. My staryu floating up to me, staring. I had no idea what it felt in this moment, but I was completely crushed. I remember his girlfriend's name all too well. She was the one who'd supported me in my love for him. How could she have done this to me? Was this her idea of a joke?

I dropped the letter onto the table as tears rolled down my face. I couldn't help it. I liked Ash for the longest time. We'd traveled together... I stared at the hardwood floors as my tear drops splattered onto it. I let out a choked cry, feeling my heart break into two. Why had she encouraged me? Did she always want to hurt me like this?

Questions pounded at my mind as unwanted memories came back as if they'd only happened days ago. I clenched my fists as I cried.

"N-no... I don't want to remember her," I whispered in a shaking voice, but it was already too late. I knew those memories all too well.

"Misty, you should totally confess to him," she told me, a wide smile on her innocent face. I smiled back, feeling my heart speed up at the prospect.

"Oh, I will! Thanks so much!" I called, running off to go find Ash. We'd planned this all out together. I'd ask him to meet me at the park, where I'd make my confession. I was excited. I was fidgeting when the time rolled around and I ran off to the park. As I came to the meeting place we'd agreed on, I found something I couldn't believe.

"Ash, I like you!" she cried desperately, honesty sparkling in her eyes. My heart dropped into my toes. My eyes widened in hurt and disbelief. I'd been betrayed. Ash stared at her, his face turning bright red. Please, please don't say you like her too, Ash!

"Heh, I like you too..." he replied, rubbing the back of his head. I whimpered before turning and running from the scene. I couldn't believe this! How dare she do this to me, her best friend!

I left my house, not wanting anyone to see me like this. I felt like I was falling apart. I ran away from my house toward the bridge. It was empty at the moment. I climbed over the railings and sat with my feet floating in the air above the water. I was a simple push away from ending my life in that strong current below. I didn't move. I held a daisy in my hand, staring at it emotionlessly.

"He loves me," I whispered, plucking off a petal, "He loves me not..." It was a test that was as old as time. I stared at the yellow flower as the petals floated down to the current. I felt tears bite at the corners of my eyes as I plucked off the last petal. He loves me not.

I felt my fingers tense around the railing. I was afraid. I was afraid of what awaited me in reality and in death. What might happen? Was it painful? Did I deserve that pain? Would I never have anything after this moment? I gulped, feeling like climbing back over the railing and facing what life would throw at me next. I couldn't kill myself... could I? I turned, placing one leg back over. I looked back at the water, wondering what life would be like after I... I shook my head, trying to dispel those thoughts. I wasn't going to commit suicide... not tonight.

I took a deep breath, changing my mind. I let go of the rails, leaning back away from safety. I closed my eyes, hearing the frightened beating of my heart ringing in my ears. I'm such an idiot. I hit the water, my body slapping the surface roughly. A shocked gasp escaped me and I was pulled under. Fear took control of me and I tried to battle my way out. Slowly, I weakened, a burning pressure closing its grip around me. I gave up, and was swept away in the tide.

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