Tony Stark and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Written in the style of the children's book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

(Every time there's a line break, that means I'm not writing in the style of the children's book and I'm putting more detail into the story. Please keep that in mind.)


I went to bed last night with Pepper angry at me for missing a conference that was held just two blocks away from Stark Tower. When I got out of bed this morning, I bumped into one of my robots who was offering me a piece of toast. Then, in the kitchen, I tripped over Thor's hammer, which he had left on the floor in search of Pop Tarts. I was trying to get the ketchup out of the bottle and onto my scrambled eggs, when some splattered onto Natasha's white pencil skirt.

I saw the way she glared at me and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.


Tony swiveled around in a chair. Something nagged at the back of his mind. Pepper had told him to do something, and he had promised…except now he didn't remember what he promised to do. It was something about something happening at 7:30. He looked at the clock. Oops, it was 8 p.m. now. Oh well, he bought Pepper flowers, just in case.

Just then, Pepper stormed into the room. Some papers flew off of his desk as she walked around the desk to look at him face to face.

"Anthony Edward Stark."

There were two things to take note of: her face was red, and she used his full name. That's an uh-oh.

He grinned innocently at her, "Yes my dear?"

"Aaargh! Do you know just how embarrassing it was? Everyone asked ME where YOU were! I TOLD you to be at the conference in City Hall at 7:30! City Hall is two blocks away, okay? TWO. There is no excuse for not being there. No excuse. And I come back and I see you here sitting and swiveling around in your dumb chair like a dumb 7-year old, as if you had no dumb conference to attend to, and you left ME having to deal with that dumb senator, and having to bring these dumb papers," she slapped a stack of papers onto the desk, "so you can sign them, just so I can bring it back to the dumb City Hall in twenty-five minutes."

Tony looked at her sheepishly. "I bought you flowers…"

He was glad looks didn't kill.

"Just SIGN the dumb papers." Pepper stomped away. He could hear her high heels click-clacking away.

As she left, she yelled over her shoulder, "And take them back yourself. "


Bruce got a fan letter in the mail and Thor got a box of chocolates. Steve actually received roses from some crazy fangirl out there. All I got was an official, business-y letter from Nick Fury. Yeah, I got several fan letters yesterday, but why doesn't anyone want to celebrate Iron Man, who risked his life for New York City, everyday?

I think I'll move back to my Malibu home.

After breakfast, we had to practice hand-to-hand combat. Bruce was let off of this one. Steve was paired up with Clint, Thor was paired up with Maria Hill for some strange reason, and I was paired up with Natasha. I remembered that day when I first met her; she had pinned down Happy Hogan. Oh man. What would happen to me?

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.


Nick Fury paired each man up. "I do not want anyone seriously injured. No fractured bones, no torn ligaments, no strained muscles, and definitely no deaths."

Tony glanced at Natasha and cringed.

"Last man...or woman standing wins." Tony looked over at Bruce. Tony couldn't help being irked by the fact that Bruce was happily swiveling on a chair.

"Wins what?" asked Clint.

"Hmm...okay got it. Whoever wins gets the whole 25th floor to themselves. Nobody is allowed in without permission," decided Fury.

That was serious motivation. Any privacy you could get at Stark Tower was like gold.

"Okay everyone, on the count of three...,"

Tony looked Natasha in the eye and started pleading. "Look, I'll give you...um...the whole 26th floor to yourself if you go easy on me."

"One..." Nick Fury started counting down.

Natasha gave him an unwavering stare.

"Come on, I'll give you my turn on the pac-man machine, you know, tonight's Arcade Night and..."

"Two..."

"I'll even update your weapons and stuff..."

"Three..."

"and I'll do all of that and-wait no, ah!-ow!-unh!-aaah!-******************!-HELP!-stop!-uncle! I said uncle!"

And that was how Tony found himself pinned to the floor.

And really, he couldn't help being irked by the fact that Bruce was laughing at him.


I was in the nurse's office, waiting for that hoity-toity nurse to get the ice pack to put on my black eye, which was slowly turning every color of the rainbow. Suddenly, the door opened and Thor limped in, moaning. The nurse, probably falling for his huge muscles, rushed to help him, instead of getting my ice pack. I huffed away and went to Pepper, who seemed to show even less sympathy than the nurse.

I think I'll move back to my Malibu home.

Finally it was lunch time, and let me tell you something: If Thor comes in first for eating the most, and Steve comes second, then Clint comes third. I was trying to make eye contact with Pepper, but when I looked back at my plate, I noticed a change, but I didn't know what at first. It finally occurred to me the Clint was stealing my french fries when they were halfway gone. Drat.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I thought that playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 with Steve would be a major advantage for me tonight (you know, Arcade Night). Boy was I wrong. At first, he couldn't get the hang of all the buttons on the control, so I thought I was finally in luck. Then it seemed all too suddenly that he understood how to play. On top of that, his super-soldier reflexes kicked in. He did so well that the others were rolling on the floor and crying with laughter.

I think I'll move back to my Malibu home.

I was brushing my teeth, and telling Pepper of my plan to move back to Malibu, California. She laughed and said sympathetically,

"Tony, some days are terrible, horrible, no good, and very bad, even back in Malibu."

Great.


OK! That's it! Finished! Please R&R! Reviews mean a LOT to me! A special thank you to Julliet15. C'symia for everything. ;)