A/N: Welcome to the emergence of "Say Uncle", the sequel to "The Life Before the Party". With the second season of JCA officially at an end, us amigos will now have to seek Chan and Co. in FFN. I don't care how much longer the show can go on, just as long as there's JCA FANFICTION 4 LIFE!
"Say Uncle" was the unanimous winner of Extremo Vote 2002, so I can't deny myself but to put it in. Next up is "Takato Wong", a futuristic follow-up to Digimon Tamers. As everyone should know, even I get to vote on my own!
"Jackie Chan Adventures" comes to you from the Sony Entertainment Arena thanks to Jackie Chan, his brother Willie and the folks at Sony Television. Laissez les bon temps rouler!
Anarchy rules in the world of JCA. Chairs, Tables, Ladders, Hopes and Dreams have been demolished in the struggles of the J-Team, but this chapter newly defines the word of extreme, as in extreme-ly crazy!
Prologue: Ditched Blade
Jackie Chan, the archaeologist with more lives than nine cats, had made the plane ride home to San Francisco. Retrieving the Sword of Kirishima was a tough job in itself, thanks to the underwater realm from which the sword had long gone into obscurity. At least there was no Shadowkhan to pester him this time around. Truth be told, Chan missed teaching the Shadowkhan a lesson or two about meddling with rare artifacts for magical purposes. To him, the purpose lied in its history, no more, no less, a centerpiece for people to know what they once were, so that they could know what they will be.
Where had Shendu gone? Shendu actually tried many ways to get back home after Jackie had banished him. There was the time Shendu had tried dashing into the body of Uncle, the chi wizard whose magic took him back to the Eighth Portal. As Jackie would later find out, Shendu's spirit ended up colliding with a cockroach Uncle was trying to squish, and as the cockroach fell off the bookshelf, Tohru raised the sole of his sandals and then…
But enough of that. Shendu was indefinitely old news. The new news was that the talismans had become more noticeable to circles outside of the Dark Hand and the demons. It had been about 3 months ago since old familiar faces were found to take sudden likings to the Horse Talisman, and that wasn't easy. Jackie rubbed his sturdy brow and crunched up his skin as if hoping his brain cells could relax for once. Even if the incidents had concluded before the J-Team's one-year anniversary, they still proved to Jackie that the J-Team wasn't immortal. And that might only have been the first test of things….
"OW!" Jackie yelled as his head felt another sensation besides his own hands. And so it was something else; the two-fingered salute from his Uncle.
"Jackie!" Uncle cried out, still donning his blue pants, orange vest, white shirt, and tiny spectacles. "Jackie, what took you so long?! Uncle been waiting 5 WHOLE HOURS, and wasted ALL the tea!"
"I am sorry, Uncle," Jackie moaned, half from the hurt and half from wanting a doze. "There was a delay in the flight, but you would've known that over the phone. I guess San Francisco's a popular tourist spot for the summer. Heh, heh."
"What is so funny?! Uncle taking no time to rest, is THAT WHAT IS FUNNY?!" Uncle glared at Jackie, who could see the reds of his eyes.
"No, it's…it's not…that!" Jackie stammered and shook both palms in a plea of innocence. "Uncle, why didn't you go to sleep? You didn't have to wait for me to get the sword."
"Of course I must wait! Whether I sleep or am awake, I must wait either way. And if I sleep now, I sleep like big baby until the noon! Noon! Do you think Uncle wants to open his shop at noon?!"
Jackie was very puzzled by his Uncle's sense of logic. "Um…uh, Uncle, perhaps…" he took out a sealed package among his baggage. "Perhaps you would want to research the sword now," he finished, hoping that would quiet down Uncle.
"Thank you, very much!" Uncle snatched the package eagerly. "That's what Elmer Presley would say!"
"That's Elvis!" Whap! "OW!"
"Uncle older than you..Therefore, Uncle WISER THAN YOU!"
"Chan…" came a low, grumbling, hapless voice from above the staircase, "what's going on out there?" The voice could belong to none other than Tohru, the 600-pound Sumo of a shop assistant. Tohru had taken to his emperor-sized bed already. Jackie could just imagine what Tohru must look like catching so few hours of sleep; he just didn't want to see him now.
"It's alright, Tohru," Jackie called with both hands cupped around his mouth to amplify his voice. "Uncle and I are having just a little disagreement."
Whap! "OW! Uncle, I was telling the truth!"
"Jackie, you are being ve-ry disagreeable! First, you said you be back this morning. Now it is next day! Second, you woke up Tohru, my assistant. You want him up by noon!? Third," Uncle was tugging at the box containing the Sword of Kirishima, grunting loudly, "I can not open this package. You think Uncle's not past his prime? Well, he is-Ayah!"
Uncle's hands broke the clasps off the box, and the sides flew off to the walls of the shop. At once, Uncle fell on his back and the metal blade of the sword spun into the air and slashed across Uncle, the sickening sound of pierced flesh resounding across the shop. Within seconds that felt like minutes, Uncle collapsed motionlessly and the sword fell next to him.
Jackie's face grew pale, and his heart beated rapidly. "NOOO! Uncle!"
He ran to Uncle, kicking the sword away and immediately removing the cut shirt and vest of his elder. "Please, not this way, Uncle, not this way!" Jackie had broken up his You're going to be alright. You WILL BE….All…right?" As Jackie had removed Uncle's shirt, he noticed not a single cut of the flesh was on sight, nor did a single drip of blood seep out of anywhere.
Jackie pondered at his Uncle's unmoving state, and put his ear to Uncle's heart. It was in a normal tempo, as if he was…asleep. The Chan Man saw his Uncle's face and could see it smiling as it inhaled and exhaled with loud snores.
"Uncle is okay?…Uncle is okay!" Jackie laughed, and then he shut himself up. He didn't want to awaken Uncle with his commotion. Uncle would complain Jackie was even more disagreeable for denying him a trip to Sheep Avenue.
"Lucky Uncle," Jackie whispered to himself. "I don't know how the sword could miss him. I could've sworn…No, there's no swearing anymore. There shouldn't be…" He saw the tattered upper clothes and replaced them with the next possible shirt in mind, a T-Shirt reading "I [Heart Symbol] Red Sox". Uncle had no idea what baseball was, but no time to question that. "Perhaps, tomorrow, I'll have to pay him for extra clothes, but that'll be a small price to pay. Hmm," Jackie saw Uncle and turned his sights to a rusty old alarm, and wound it up. "6 in the morning…Hopefully, that'll be enough time for Uncle to open the shop." He held up Uncle and placed him in a beige couch. The couch was usually intended for Tohru whenever the sumo needed a place to sit, but Tohru was in his bed, and Uncle was fast asleep to be interfered. So Jackie put a thick drape over Uncle, patted the shopkeeper's head and spoke, "Sleep tight, Uncle.."
As Jackie walked by, his foot touched the handle of the Sword. Jackie grabbed the sword ever warily and stared at what once remained of the package fastening it. "I must say, Uncle's a lot stronger than I thought. That's what always scares me," he yawned audibly before wrapping the sword up in thick bandages, before leaving it secured in a portable safe at the corner of the shop.
"Whew…" Jackie said as he walked up the staircase to retreat to bed. "In the morning, all this will feel like a dream. Why be scared of Uncle? He's always on the right side of things."
"Uncle?" Morning had risen, and it had been 10 minutes since the alarm clock had rung, bouncing everywhere it went before crashing onto the floor in pieces of gears and glass. Jackie at first supposed Uncle was sleeping like a baby, until he came to the front room of Uncle's Rare Finds and could catch nothing but the drape on the floor and small dimples on the couch. "Uncle? Where would he…Bwah!" His eyes locked long at the opened safe at the corner, the opened, hollow safe.
"Good morning, Chan," greeted Tohru as he walked down the stairs with his feet plodding over several steps at once. He rubbed his eyes and yawned with the boom of a bear's yawn, if bears ever yawn…
"Tohru, did Uncle go upstairs?" Jackie asked urgently, a vein nervously jolting on his neck.
"No, Chan. If he did, I would've heard him coming over to wake me and Jade."
"I don't understand," Jackie looked at the safe. "Uncle wouldn't leave the shop like this. It's not like him."
"Leave the shop? Well, it's possible that your uncle had some important business for the time being. Odd it is, but impossible it is not. He is a shopkeeper, after all."
"Then why is the sword missing?"
"Missing? Sword?" Tohru was perplexed.
"Sword of Kirishima. The University wanted me to search this sword from within the Yellow Sea. I took the sword and kept it in the safe, and now it's missing. I think its disappearance may have something to do with Uncle's."
"But why must Uncle play a role in this?" asked Tohru. "That is quite rash thinking, Jackie."
"The combination on the safe…only Uncle and I knew how to open it. But why he would take the sword with him?"
"What if he needed to consult someone with the sword? What then?"
"Hi, Uncle Jackie. Hi, T-Man," Jade skipped down the safe, and went over to the kitchen. "Hey, Tohru, you want me to get some of that grape soda for ya?"
"Um, not now, Jade. Jackie and I are trying to sort things out…"
"Pssh…Jackie and Uncle were sorting things out last night. Good thing I always have the topmost bed. Less noise…Huh?" Jade opened the refrigerator door, and the little convenient light was a no-show. Plus, that old wheezing noise on the fridge suddenly seemed absent. Were the lights and noise all part of some unnecessary dream? Nope. The abundance of food was starting to stink badly, except for Tohru's soda-pops, of course…
"Not, now, Jade," Jackie spoke, still looking only at Tohru and the opened safe.
"Jackie…I don't think the refrigerator's working…"
"Jade, there's something more important going on here," said Tohru to her. "We've got to call Captain Black just to be sure. I hope this isn't inconvenient." Standing at the breakfast table, he pulled up the black speaking box, and took out its receiver close to his right ear. Jade quietly took a banana off a basket and began eating it as she watched Tohru make the call for help, whatever that help was. But just as he was ready to lay a meaty finger on the numbers, Tohru paused at the disturbing silence of the phone, and his eyes trailed the phone's wiring to its firm connection to the nearest plug.
Tohru narrowed his eyes and looked at the ceiling, flicking a free index finger over the light switch close to the door, and to no effect. He dropped the receiver back where it resided. "Jackie, all our electric power is gone!"
"Fire Engine?" Tohru asked at the timbre outside.
Jackie looked outside the window, and the whites of his eyes ballooned as he saw crowds of tenants and families pushing and shoving each other, while broken telephone lines strewn across the streets were being handled by Public Works personnel. Firefighters were removing some people out of the streets to pump the fire hydrants into their hoses. The men in yellow effortlessly were dousing the flames that were eating away at two distant homes.
Knock Knock Knock!
The knock disturbed Jackie. Was there a fire emergency he didn't know about? Jackie looked at both Jade and Tohru, and then opened the knob on the front door, ringing the bell as always. "Sorry about the bell, but…Captain Black?"
The Captain, with his emerald eyes, crimson eyebrows and bald head shining from the morning sunrise, spoke up in concern. "Not the best way to start the day, though that's not saying night is any better. It's happened across the street, Jackie. Everyone's lost their power and water sources. Very odd activity, but that's to be expected whenever you're around."
"Sigh. When will I not be around?" Jackie frowned and scratched the back of his neck.
"Maybe not ever, Jackie. Maybe not ever. However, it came to my attention that you acquired an artifact from Asia, the…Sword of…Krishma, Krooshma, something? Section 13 suspects someone went through the havoc to get to the sword."
"Kirishima," Jackie corrected him, and he contorted a panicked façade and held his hands on Black's shoulders. "But I know nothing about today except my Uncle and the sword are gone!"
Tohru laid a finger on his cheek while pondering hard, and then the sumo paced slowly into Uncle's dusky library of archives.
"Your Uncle…is gone…as well as the sword," Black repeated the words slowly in skepticism. He slowly took Jackie's hands off his pliant shoulders. Now Black could believe magic was real and existent, but Uncle leaving the Chans? He knew the old timer never was one to disappear, especially with those two-fingered salutes always ready for combat.
"Gasp! Uncle is gone? How?" Jade lit up. "And why wasn't I told of this?" her eyebrows displayed resentment at her uncle's protectiveness for her. At age 11, Jade Chan didn't find it too childish to know of bad news when they came up, especially after Jackie accidentally left a window open for Ruby the cat to flee the shop…
"You weren't told of this because we were fearing the worst," Jackie said.
"Fearing the worst!?" Jade retorted. "If I don't know the worst, how can I prepare for it?"
Black thought a bit during this commotion, eyes pointing to his own temples. "You're fearing a little too much, both of you. Let's get things straight. Uncle's a sly kind of fellow. He'll be back safe and sound…Moving on now, Jackie, this..Sword of K., if I may call it…Does it have any magical powers?"
"I don't know."
"What?" Jackie didn't know anything about the artifact he found? Black's skepticism reached peak levels.
Jackie bowed his head as if feeling helpless. "I was in such a hurry that the colleagues from the University never informed me about the sword. I'm so sorry."
"No need to. I've found answers to all our questions, Chan," came up Tohru, who was wearing glasses that seemed microscopic compared to his build. The sumo also held up a book so small that it could've been crushed to dust had he balled his fist athwart it.
"This book tells me a little about the Sword of Kirishima. I was especially curious because the word 'Kirishima' belongs to my home country. It means 'curse', but I don't know what that curse was. That's when I read this text. A mysterious samurai, a ronin, once wielded a blade that, should it be touched, would render his victims unable to recall who they once were. And so long as it was infused with the wielder's soul, the blade can cut through anything of this world and control anybody struck by it!… The blade's background remains unclear, although without a doubt, someone's using that sword right now. Sensei must've known this. I bet someone kidnapped Uncle to keep us from knowing the truth."
"No, Tohru. No…that's not what happened.." Jackie replied, hands nervously clasped together.
"What do you mean?"
"Uncle's the one wielding the sword…He accidentally lost his memory…and now the sword has control over him, because of what I did…."
"You hit sensei with the sword?!" Tohru instantly replied, astonished and disgusted that his best friend could be responsible.
"Jackie, how could you?!" Jade looked at him with sad golden eyes, her confidence for her uncle dropping.
"No! No! No, it wasn't like that, Tohru! Uncle tried to open the package that had the sword, and he accidentally struck himself, or, or…"
"You let Uncle, of all people, OPEN a package for you?! Jackie, I can not believe you could ever do such a thing!"
"And then Uncle, he was about to sleep…" Jackie continued, sweat pasting up the flawless ends of his raven hair.
"So," boomed the hostile Tohru, "you let Uncle take a hold of the sword, just when you knew he was going to sleep?! Let me guess….The arguments were too much for you to handle?"
"Yes..I mean, No! Or maybe…Augh, if only you were there!" Jackie held his head, and squeezed his eyes to evade this nightmare.
"Remain calm, Jackie!" Black looked at his friend and gripped tightly his shoulder so he wouldn't tilt away into madness. The elite turned his attention to the sumo. "Tohru, can you tell me if there's any way to remove this curse off of Jackie's Uncle?"
Tohru calmed down, and he breathed a sigh, predicting relief. "There's no clear cure in the text, but if we are talking about a curse within sensei, then we do have a cure; the Horse Talisman. Removes all alien forces within. You still keep it in Section 13, right?"
"Along with all the others," Black smiled, and spoke to the still-nervous Chan Man. "All we must do is find your Uncle, Jackie. He shouldn't be too hard to find, not with all this destruction…" A frown recurring, Black felt his confidence fading a tad, as he continued. "Of course, if this trail goes on like this," Black stared over at the faltering telephone poles, "we're going to be seeing extra zeroes on our taxes."
"Ayah!" Jade lamented. "Last time we had to find the cure. Now we must find the patient!?"
To Be Continued…
Such a quick buildup…Not as funny as "LBTP", huh? I know, but sequels always must be different. This is just a sneak preview, so updates will take a while. Hope you like it. Adios, amigos!