A/N: So, here we are with the aftermath of the split in "By the Numbers." Yes, it's Morgan's fault mostly but these two women are not helping themselves any. Hopefully they will get it figured out by the end. We'll see.
This story deals with a lot of flashbacks to the events and emotions surrounding various Criminal Minds episodes. I will note at the end of each chapter which episodes are referenced. Most are available on YouTube so you can use that as a quick reference if you aren't sure what I'm talking about. (I used it myself to make sure I was getting things right!) :o)
Flashbacks will appear in bold. Enjoy!
Emily slowly makes her way to the day care center. She smiles at Matilda, who runs the center.
"Hi, Emily! You must be here to pick up Henry."
Emily puts on the smile she had perfected as the child of politicians. "Unfortunately I'm just stopping in to say hello. I've got to fly to Montana to testify in a trial that starts Monday. I have to do prep this weekend with the prosecutors and meet with the defense, too."
"Ugh. Doesn't sound like a fun weekend. Well, Henry is over there. Have fun!"
Emily sees Henry playing with his activity center. She just watches him for a moment as he laughs and giggles at the noises it makes. She chuckles and walks over to him.
His head whips around, shock on his face. She can't help but laugh at the cute look. It is quickly replaced by a huge grin and he throws his arms towards her. She lifts him up, hugging him close.
"Hi, Henry. I've missed you, Little Man. Oh, I've missed you so much."
He puts a sloppy kiss on her cheek and her heart melts. The thought of not having him in her life flashes through her mind. She has no legal rights to Henry. If she and JJ split he could be kept away from her. She closes her eyes against the tears that threaten. She takes a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves.
"I love you, Henry. I swear I want to make things work with your Mommy. I swear. But it we can't fix…whatever this is…I promise to try to stay in your life. I love you so much. You aremy son, Henry. You are." She gives him another kiss. "I hate to do this, Champ but I have to go away again. I hope by the time I get back your mother is speaking to me again so we can work things out. I love her so much but I really fu—uh, messed up. Try to put in a good word for me, will you?" He smiles and claps his hands. She smiles. "Thanks, Henry. I love you."
She can't tell him she loves him enough. She is terrified of losing him but knows she could never win a custody battle. Well, maybe with her parents' connections and money she could but she would never do that to JJ or Henry.
She starts to put him down but he grabs at her lip. She smiles and goes to sit in a nearby rocking chair. She cuddles him close and begins to sing to him. In no time at all he is asleep. She stares at the sleeping boy for nearly 5 minutes, soaking in everything about him. She finally stands and places him in the crib beside her. She pats his back once more.
"I love you, Henry."
She kisses his head and, waving goodbye to Matilda, walks out of the day care area. On her way to the front doors of the building she runs into Penelope Garcia, whom the profiler thinks was probably lying in wait for her.
"I don't have time for a lecture, Garcia. I fucked up. I know it. I have to go."
Garcia grabs Emily's arm and stops her. "Don't run away from her, Emily."
Emily gets defensive. "I'm not running. I've got to go to Montana on a case I consulted on. And she made it clear she does not want to talk to me right now. And I don't blame her. I fucked up, Pen, and I tried to apologize. She didn't accept."
"And that's it? The going gets tough so you get going? Right out the door? Damn it, Emily, love is worth fighting for!"
Emily stares out the glass doors a moment before turning back to Garcia. "Maybe I'm sick and damn tired of fighting for love from the important people in my life."
She pushes past Garcia and heads out the door. The cab she had already called for is waiting. She climbs in and gives her address. She spends the ride wondering how much longer she would have the condo. If she has lost JJ and Henry, she could never live there again.