I raised my gaze to the tree line in the distance,attempting to steel myself for the walk to find Alona and Erin, wherever they'd disapeared to (and with Alona's situation I could only pray that wasn't literally the case) and froze when I got a good look at the woods.
The light-bright and warm- was reaching above the treetops in a glowing pillar. The light had come for someone. Was it for Erin? Or had it come for Alona? Maybe both.
Would Alona be gone before I could reach her for a final good-bye? Before I could tell her that she made my life wholly better even though at times she drove me out of my mind? That I really DID need her, that we'd made a great team?
I needed to see her, reach her before she stepped into the great light where I would probably never see her again. My eyes were stinging and clouded as I limp-ran into the woods.
Before I really went too far into the woods I ran into Ed, who nearly slammed into me. "What are you doing?" I asked, surprised to see him out here. I hadn't seen him leave the car but obviously he did.
Ed was crying, he clutched his glasses in his hand with enough force I thought he would break them. "She's gone. She's gone." He said before he broke down sobbing. I pushed passed him, he obviously wouldn't be able to tell me in time just who was really gone.I would find out for myself.
I kept my eyes trained on the pillar of light, it grew brighter the deeper I went into the woods.
Then it was gone. As fast as it had appeared, it vanished, as if it had never existed in the first place. I skidded to a halt, my eyes taking their time to adjust to the blackness around me.
"No! No, no, no!" The words crackled in my throat, barely making it out as audible noises. As my eyes adjusted I stumbled through the woods blindly, calling Ally's name. "Ally!" I shouted, spinning one direction then another before deciding which way to go. There was no response, and though I'd mostly suspected there would be one, I still felt as though she should have answered.
Fresh tears stinging my eyes I stumbled through some brush and small bushes. Then a cloud drifted away from the mood and pale splotches of light filtered through the branches above me, one landing on a pale shape yards away from me.
Dear God, no. No.
Racing towards it I fell to my knees next to it, ignoring the screaming pain shooting through my ribs. I gathered her in my arms, a tear of mine fell on her cheek and glistened there in the moonlight before finding a path down her cheek.
The scent of been wafted off her, but I could still detect the sweet-smelling shampoo she used, when she was Alona, and now as Ally. Lily's body was breathing still, but that was not what I was looking for, I was looking for her spirit. Alona's spirit. No signs of life other than her pulse and breathing showed. She was gone. It was all over.
Tears spilled down my cheeks, warm and sticky, stinging the cuts and bruises aquired from bushes and low-lying branches I'd torn through. I didn't care about any of it.
I lifted her up to me, pressing her face into my shoulder I shuddered with sobs. "I'm so sorry. I should have been there. I didn't mean for you to be alone...i'm sorry.
Lily's body made no response and I truely knew she was gone. The light had come for her, both Erin and Alona. I didn't even get to say goodbye. But life wasn't fair that way.
I brushed my tears off her face with the pad of my thumb, her pale skin cool. I gently brushed her hair out of her face. Using my thumb I rubbed away the lipstick that was smeared across her mouth, Alona never would have tolerated that.
But this wasn't Alona, it wasn't Erin, and it wasn't even Lily. It was simply a body, an empty shell, a soul-ess husk. Alona would never anime it again.
I set Lily's body down gently in the leaves, the pale moonlight shining across her face. I took her hand and brought them together over her stomach, she looked eerily peaceful, not a single burden of the world weighed down on her shoulders now.
Rising to my feet again I held my side to brace my ribs for the movement. I took one long last look at her in the pale light before turning away and walking back out of the woods slowly, solemly. At the edge of the woods I could see the party still going on, someone had set up beer pong with the red cups on an old card table. Hands shot up in the air as they cheered for a shot that landed.
I climbed back in my old car and reached on the passenger seat for my craptastically old phone and flipped it open, holding down a button to see the time. 11:40pm. I flipped it back closed and tossed it on the passenger seat and turned the keys in the ignition.
Pulling onto the street I turned right onto the main road, down a couple side streets with my lights off, and parked. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the headrest and waited. It wasn't long.
I heard a deep horn blowing and the ding-ding of of the railroad safety blocks slowly coming down and to a stop on either side of the tracks with their flashing red lights. I opened my eyes and slowly rolled my head to the left, unblinking. The bright light on the front of the train grew brighter and closer as the sounds of the train grew louder.
I finally know what it feels like, dad. To give up. To park your car on the tracks and wait, and now I know, in your last moments, the last thoughts you had, there were none. Just a cloudy nothingness.
What remained of Will Killian's car was found scattered among the tracks. The train crashed into the driver's side of the car and he was killed instantly. It was the same section of tracks where Daniel Killian had been found as well.