Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama. It is owned by the awesome Sorachi Hideaki-sensei, Sunrise and Shueisha.
Rating: M / MA
Genre: Romance, Comedy
Summary: Tsukuyo is out on the surface for work, and Gintoki stumbles upon her. Add an odd request and a weird circumstance, and a very exciting moment will occur. TWOSHOT.
Author's Notes: This fanfic was a challenge given to me by Zack Clyde Von Crisst a month ago. Zeniec-chan, sorry if it's late, and sorry if I can't make this into a oneshot! (It's too long..) But still, I hope that all of you would enjoy this! Part 1 is M-Rated, and Part 2 is MA. I know that FFN's removing all those sexually-explicit M-Rated fics now, but that won't stop me from doing this! LOL XD The title (Watashi ni xx shinasai!) was stolen from a manga of the same name.
Lastly, this fic was supposed to be a songfic of the song, "Rape Me" by Nirvana. I planned on making the title "Rape Me" before, but I didn't go through with it since… well, I might get in trouble with that title. And besides, my current title seems to give the same type of idea, doesn't it?
Okay, so I repeat, THIS IS A SONGFIC AND IT TALKS ABOUT RAPE. (And of course, sex.) For those faint of the heart, stop reading. This isn't angsty though. It's more of a comedy type if you ask me. And don't get the wrong idea, this is a challenge. I definitely don't like rape fics at all. This fic tends to poke fun on rape though. And Zeniec-chan, I know that you like OkiKagu more than this pairing, but I can't seem to write anything M-related to them at all. For me, they're too… young. At least, Gintoki and Tsukuyo are adults. XD
Do XX Unto Me!
A Gintama Fanfiction
CHAPTER 1: Control
Sakata Gintoki walked aimlessly along the streets of Kabuki-chou.
He was bored, and he had nothing to do. He wandered through all the establishments in every corner, but since he didn't have any money, all that he can do was to sigh in disbelief. Stifling a yawn with his hand, he kept on walking.
On late afternoons like this, he would normally laze on the sofa and read his favorite Jump on one hand, and clutch a carton of strawberry milk on the other hand. Shinpachi would probably nag at him for being so lazy, and Kagura would probably be busy munching off on some sukonbu as she played with Sadaharu. However, none of those things happened that afternoon since all of the occupants except him were out, leaving only a note behind.
Shinpachi said that he would go to Otsuu's live concert tonight, and hence, he wouldn't be around. Kagura, on the other hand, said that the Shinsengumi sadist had challenged her to a fight and that she would meet him tonight at the park for their match. She even brought Sadaharu with her as an audience to her victory. And he… he had nothing to do. If he had any money, then he would've gone out to pachinko, or even drink some sake with Hasegawa-san. Unfortunately for him, he had none.
His lazy eyes scanning the area for something interesting to do, he thought of going somewhere else, like Yoshiwara… Maybe he can stay there for a day or two, and Hinowa might even give him some freebies since he was their so-called "savior."
And he might even—
He then stopped on his tracks as he noticed someone familiar pass right in front of him.
Not wasting even a second, he quickly ran towards that person, but hid himself just in case. Now a distance away from that person, Gintoki stared intently at her.
Yes, her—since what he saw was a young blonde girl whose hair was pinned with a kunai. She was with a guy wearing a suit, and he was walking beside her far too closely than he had ever imagined.
W-Wait a sec, don't tell me that's—
Gintoki had a gut feeling that the girl right in front of him was no other than that Shinigami Courtesan from Yoshiwara. However, he still didn't want to believe it, since it was just… unbelievable. Rather, the idea of her walking beside a guy that close was far too absurd. And didn't she say that she had given up on being a woman a long time ago?
Unfortunately for him, the girl looked behind her, which made him instinctively hide behind a post. He then stared back at the girl, and the realization that he had made his jaw drop.
That girl… was indeed Tsukuyo.
And what's worse, she was with a…rather handsome guy. Since that guy was wearing a suit and seemed to be exuding somewhat of a rich boy kind of aura, he deduced that he would be the one to spend for their… date.
Oi, oi, don't tell me that they're on a date? Rather…who's that guy? Why are you with him? What happened to the 'I've given up on being a woman along with this scar!' act of yours? Have you gotten yourself a boyfriend?
Gulping the huge lump on his throat, Gintoki continued on following the two. The two seemed to have a nice conversation going on, as the guy talked and talked while Tsukuyo replied to it with a smile.
He felt irritated by this.
Aren't you acting a little out-of-character there, Tsukuyo? Why are you acting like that? It's not fair! Even I haven't seen you smiling like that! Who the hell is that guy?
Pissed at the sight in front of him, he studied the young man that was walking beside Tsukuyo. He was indeed good-looking—he can give him credit for that, even though it was hard to admit—and he seemed to be wearing a soft expression on his face, his brown eyes mirroring his brown, straight-permed hair. Gintoki felt a twitch upon seeing that guy's hair.
Damn, I'm completely beaten by this guy… not only is he rich, but he's got that straight perm too! I'm not competing with that guy—but wait! Does that mean that Tsukuyo likes those kinds of guys? Talk about some high-class taste… I'm gonna tease her the next time I see her, prepare yourself, kono yarou!
Gintoki heaved a deep sigh. What has gotten into him that he's here, following Tsukuyo and her date? He doesn't give a damn about what she does or who she's with, since she's nothing to him at all. He's just curious, that's why he's following her. Yeah, just curious. Really curious.
Heh, this is ridiculous. I'm going to head back home—
Just as Gintoki was about to turn his back, he saw that Tsukuyo clutched that guy's arm with her own. This act made Gintoki furious.
W-W-W-WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
Gintoki just stood there hidden behind the lamp post, his crooked finger pointing towards the couple.
THIS IS WAY OUT OF CHARACTER! TSUKUYO, JUST WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU? ARE YOU POSSESSED OR SOMETHING?
Much to his ire, he then saw that they stopped in front of a theater.
Going to the movies, eh? So sweet, ants are probably crawling over them…
..And that the guy leaned closer to Tsukuyo, as if he was about to give her a kiss—
"AH, I'M SORRY, MY HAND SLIPPED!"
Gintoki was unable to contain his frustration any longer as he suddenly rendered the guy unconscious with one strong whack to the head. As soon as the guy fell down to the ground with a thud, Gintoki pulled Tsukuyo away from the area, running towards the entrance.
With the both of them on their knees panting heavily, Gintoki then stared at Tsukuyo.
"What's the matter with you, huh? Are you possessed or something? Have you gone insane?"
The piece of kunai that had suddenly pierced through his head was the only reply that she had given.
Gintoki gulped. "What's the big idea? Here I am, saving you from the spell that that vile sorcerer had—"
"—You're an idiot! Mind your own business!"
"WHAT? The hell's wrong with you? I'm lending you a hand here! It looks like you're in a real pinch!"
"What 'pinch' are you talking about? If you're talking about being in a pinch, then it's that one here!"
"Here? Hey, I think you've gotta thank me for doing this!"
"Why should I? You've already destroyed all of my plans!"
Gintoki was taken aback upon hearing this. "T-Tsukuyo… don't you mean… that you're really going out with that guy..?"
Tsukuyo blinked for a few seconds before realizing what the silver-haired samurai in front of her had said.
"ARE YOU AN IDIOT? WHY THE HELL WOULD I DATE THAT FREAK?"
"OI, OI, YOU BETTER ASK YOURSELF! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S WITH HIM!"
Seeing that Gintoki must've gotten the wrong idea, Tsukuyo then heaved a deep sigh. "Ah, this is ridiculous. Not only have you ruined my work, but you've caused such a ruckus too," she trailed off, glancing at the people who looked at them as they argued earlier. "You're such an idiot, Gintoki."
"Oi, oi, I'm not an idiot! Everyone would get the wrong idea! Eh, wait—did you just say work?"
Tsukuyo nodded in agreement, much to Gintoki's dismay. "Yeah. It's for a mission," she replied. "I've heard that a certain syndicate that's been targeting some of the oiran in Yoshiwara had this particular place as the area where they would exchange information. They're the ones responsible for the opium outbreak in some areas."
"Opium—you mean those illegal drugs?"
"Then why are you with that guy?"
"I've been acting as his girlfriend for the day. As you can see, he frequently picks up young girls around the area. He's quite lecherous, you see."
Gintoki rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I can see that clearly. What I don't get is why you have to do this kind of thing."
"He's Nakagawa Shuuichi, one of the leaders of that organization. As of now, we still haven't got any clues as to what organization he's a member of, and he is the only lead that we can get. Hence, I tried my best to extract some information out of him, but you knocked him out cold."
"Well, he's about to kiss you, can't you even see that?"
Tsukuyo gave him a blank look. "Come again?"
Seeing this, Gintoki only felt his irritation increase in spades.
What the hell! So this girl wasn't even aware of that?
"Ah, forget it," said Gintoki as he faced his back on her, his hand already scratching the back of his head. He then started to walk away from her. "Okay, okay, it's my bad, so let it be. You can go back into dating that blockhead, and I'll go home just as I—"
He then stopped on his tracks as a hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder.
"Don't you dare run away from me, Gintoki. I still have to get inside that cinema."
"And how are you going to do that?"
A few seconds had passed before Tsukuyo decided to reply.
"You," she started with a hint of authority on her voice. "You'll gonna date me."
Gintoki just stared at her, still speechless at what the blonde woman in front of him had said.
Gintoki and Tsukuyo sat in the last row of seats inside the theater. Upon going inside, they noticed that this particular hall had only a few people inside, despite the fact that the movie was kinda halfway now. However, by the time that they had watched the movie itself, they noticed something really intriguing.
The movie being shown… was rated NC-17.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? Are those guys really members of a syndicate? Are they really here to exchange goods and information or are they just here to yank off themselves and watch porn?
Upon realizing this, Gintoki scanned the area. It's not like he had never been on a date before—not that this would be called as a date, either—but it was absolutely wrong to watch such pornographic films with a girl! With this realization, he glanced over the Shinigami Tayuu at the corner of his eye.
She still didn't notice what the movie's all about, much to his relief. She seemed to be distracted by the audience, looking at everywhere in sight. She sat on her knees, her back facing the screen. But even though she did that, the audience did not seem to even notice it as she kept on ogling at them with suspecting eyes. She didn't even take heed of Gintoki's presence, as she concentrated on finding the members of the syndicate that she was targeting.
"Oi, Tsukuyo," he called out, his voice in a mere whisper. "I think you've done enough research for today. Let's head out."
Hearing this, Tsukuyo looked back at him, shooting him with an irritated glare. "It's not research," she corrected. "I'm investigating. And besides, you don't have the right to order me around. I'm the one who paid the tickets."
Gintoki gulped nervously at her words. Well, it's true that she was the one who paid for the tickets, since he didn't have any money at all. But still, she didn't have to be so blunt about it..
Grumbling to himself, he then looked back at the screen, and watched the movie in silence. It's not like he doesn't watch those kinds of movies, anyway. After all, he's just your average guy who loved those kinds of things. He was just being decent, that's all. If she really wanted him to stay, then he'll stay and watch to his heart's content.
Tsukuyo, on the other hand, noticed that Gintoki had finally stopped nagging. Curious on what made him stop, she then glanced back at him, and saw him munching off the popcorn which he had shamelessly bought out of her money. His eyes were glued to the screen…and at that exact moment, she remembered what she had come here for.
Aside from looking for the members of that ominous syndicate, she was here to watch a movie with Gintoki. Moreover, it was her first time ever to be with him like this, since that time at the planetarium was not counted. Realization finally dawning upon her, she gulped nervously and settled down to her seat, gluing her eyes to the screen as she became redder by the second.
Isn't this… what you call a date?
Now extremely embarrassed, she tried her hardest to concentrate on the movie that was being shown on the screen. She didn't find anything that may have a connection to what she's been looking for, so she deduced that the information that she got was fake—and thus, they can leave the premises right now. However, she was too nervous to actually nudge Gintoki and tell him that they're gonna leave, since he seemed to be somewhat enjoying what was being shown. Watching him as he chewed hastily on his popcorn, she then noticed a trail of red liquid ooze out of his nose.
Gintoki had a nosebleed. She didn't know why, but he just did. His eyes were still glued to the screen and he seemed to be enjoying what was being shown. Intrigued at what may have caused him to act like this, she then looked back at the screen.
She expected something of a horror or an adventure type of flick to be shown in the cinema. However, never did she expect that something like this would greet her.
What was being shown on the screen was the image of a young woman running down the dark chambers of the old mansion, as if she was running away from someone. Her hair was disheveled, there were marks all over her skin, and her clothes were torn apart, leaving her lush, ample breasts into view. Seeing this, Tsukuyo glared daggers at the silver-haired samurai beside her.
Being a pervert here, aint'cha? So shameless..
Heaving a deep sigh, the Shinigami Courtesan looked at the screen once again. She had paid for it, so she should just watch it. After all, Gintoki seemed to be enjoying it.
In the movie, the girl didn't stop on her tracks as she ran as fast as she could, not even caring if she may have broken or destroyed something in the process. Tripping over the pile of steps, she fell down the floor with a thud, and found herself pinned into the arms of a young, muscular man.
Rape me, rape me my friend
Rape me, rape me again
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
Tsukuyo gulped the huge lump that had suddenly formed on her throat. Somehow, she knew where these kinds of flicks were heading to… and she didn't know how to react. She just stood there dumbfounded, her mouth agape as she watched the young woman struggle against the man's vice grip, her hand jerking him away.
Do it and do it again
Rape me, my friend
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
Embarrassment getting the best out of her, she tried to distract herself by looking at the other people near her. However, that option seemed to be much worse since she saw that there was a couple who kissed fervently in front of her, the sounds emanating from them seemed to be depicting something more than just kissing.
My favorite inside source
I'll kiss your open sores
Appreciate your concern
You're gonna stink and burn
She then looked to her right, but she saw another couple doing the same thing as the ones in front of her. She then looked around—but purposely avoided to look at the silver-haired samurai beside her out of shame—and she only heard lustful moans everywhere. Since everything was too much for her, she found herself dizzy all of a sudden.
She tried to assess her current situation. Was it really the norm to do this kind of things inside a theater? She wasn't new to the idea of sex, since she lived at the red-light district of Yoshiwara. She was used on seeing courtesans talk about something like that as well. She knew all things related to that, but come to think of it, it was the very first time that she had seen someone do that in action.
Not to mention that on the very first time she had seen such things, the one who is with her was no other than the man closest to her heart, Sakata Gintoki. This fact only made her even more embarrassed—she didn't know why, but she just felt like it. Steeling her resolve to continue, she glued her eyes to the screen once again. She was an adult after all, and it's not a big deal for adults to watch something like that.
However, seeing the girl's lust-filled expression as she let out a scream of passion and ecstasy seemed to have brainwashed her since she just stared at the sight in front of her, not even looking away even for a second.
Somehow, watching the girl writhe beneath the young man's muscular body made her remember a few things about herself.
Unease slowly creeping its way onto her, she bit her lip as she saw the girl collapse on the floor, unconscious. She squirmed in her seat. She wanted to go out now. She wanted to get out of here.
Fortunately for her, the credits rolled as soon as she stood up. She then looked at Gintoki, who was now stifling a yawn with his hand.
"Ah, Tsukuyo," he said in-between yawns, making the girl more irritated. "I fell asleep. Are we going home now?"
Tsukuyo gritted her teeth. Yeah right, fell asleep. You're the one who enjoyed this movie the most, you bastard.
However, Tsukuyo tried to mask everything by putting on a serious face. "Yeah," she said. "We're going home."
The moon bathed the room once again with its silver glow.
The fusuma slightly open in order to let some air come inside the room, Tsukuyo stared at the spectacle before her. A gush of wind then entered the room, the cool night breeze brushing against her alabaster skin as it sent shivers down her spine.
She tossed and turned on her futon, trying her very best to fall asleep. However, all her efforts were in vain since every time she closed her eyes, what comes into her mind was the image of the earlier events in the theater, and of a certain silver-haired samurai.
Somehow, she felt that she was becoming more and more curious in regards to that thing. In fact, while she was walking home, she then took a glance at the group of courtesans happily chatting with each other in front of an establishment. She observed them intently—how they acted, how they talked, all their gestures as they chatted happily. They seemed to be exuding some kind of a womanly aura, and somehow, she felt.. kinda envious of them.
She knew that even though she claimed to have abandoned her femininity, there is still that desire lingering on the depths of her heart—the desire of becoming a woman again.
Back when she was a child, she was just like any other girls. She dreamed that someday there would be someone who would sweep her off her feet, someone who would love her the way she was. She would get married, have kids, live with a happy family… But gone with those dreams was her womanhood, which she threw away back when she swore to train with her master, Jiraia in order to protect Hinowa and Yoshiwara.
Even now, she still believed that she wasn't a woman anymore. She was a full-fledged warrior who dedicated her life on protecting what's precious to her, and she planned on sticking with that till the end. However, she seemed to betray herself as she found her resolve break down slowly into pieces, ever since the day when Sakata Gintoki invaded her world. With each passing day, she found herself becoming more and more interested into becoming a woman again.
Like those other women her age, she wanted to find someone whom she'll love. She wanted to revel on the feel of his arms, of his warm chest…And as much as she did not want to admit it, she also wanted to be intimate with the one she loved. However, all of these desires were suppressed deep down inside of her, as she continued on convincing herself that she was a woman no more.
But fate did not seem to be with her. Gintoki was beside her by the time that all of those desires were awakened inside her, and she couldn't help herself. Somehow, that permhead seemed to invade even her dreams… And God forbid, the thought of being intimate with him even crossed her mind! And it was all because of that stupid incident in the movies!
Slapping her face in order to bring her back to reality, she looked back at the night skies once again. And at that moment, she saw that Hinowa entered the room, staring at her with a concerned look on her face.
"Tsukuyo, are you awake?" asked Hinowa as she moved her wheelchair inside the room. Tsukuyo then stood up and turned on the lights, and looked back at the woman in front of her. Somehow, Hinowa's look of concern seemed to ease all the worries in her heart.
"You arrived so late today, and we were all so worried. We thought that you still haven't gone home, but it appears that you're here. Why didn't you drop by the shop when you arrived? You didn't even have dinner tonight."
"I was tired," replied Tsukuyo. "I needed rest, so I decided to go straight here and sleep. I'm sorry if I worried you, Hinowa."
Hinowa looked at her with knowing eyes, and as soon as her own brown orbs met with hers, she knew that there was some apprehension present in the very eyes of the Shinigami Tayuu. "You're worried about something, weren't you? I know you very well, Tsukuyo. You've gone out to the surface again, haven't you?"
Tsukuyo bit her lip. Hinowa had guessed right—and she was in trouble. Aside from the fact that her investigation about the syndicate that loomed over Yoshiwara was a secret, she needed to keep the fact that she went to the movies with Gintoki all to herself, too. Hence, she remained silent, not knowing how to answer.
"You know, there were cases of rape on young girls there on the surface. You shouldn't go out too much at such late hours, Tsukuyo."
The blonde girl shook her head. "Don't worry, Hinowa," she assured. "I'll be fine. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."
Hearing this reply, Hinowa couldn't help but to heave a deep sigh. She knew that Tsukuyo was strong and perfectly capable of protecting herself. She was aware of that. However, she's still a girl. She still isn't aware of the dangers present to girls her age.
Hinowa tried to think of many things in order to persuade Tsukuyo to stop going out on the surface during such late hours. After a few seconds, a twinkle seemed to appear on her eyes as she thought of the perfect plan.
Excusing herself, Hinowa then went straight into the living room, and grabbed the telephone.
She was going to call the Yorozuya—specifically Gintoki—for help.
Only the sound of the footsteps trudging along the rough, cemented pavement can be heard as Gintoki and Tsukuyo walked along the streets of Yoshiwara.
It was late in the afternoon, and upon seeing Tsukuyo conversing with the other Hyakka on the streets, he called out to her and asked her to accompany him as he took a stroll. Tsukuyo seemed hesitant, but she accepted it nonetheless. However, there was something to that than what meets the eye.
Yesterday evening, Hinowa called to tell him that she would assign him another job. Since he hadn't got any money at that moment, he accepted it without any hesitation. He thought that Hinowa would assign him any Odd Jobs as usual, or ask him to help on some mission with the Hyakka, but he was wrong. Hinowa asked him something he didn't ever expect—she asked him to scare Tsukuyo by "raping" her. Of course, she didn't mean to actually rape her; she meant that he would only scare her, but he shouldn't even dare to do anything to her. Hearing this, Gintoki furiously declined the job.
Of course he'll decline the job. He won't destroy his friendship with her just for money. He knew better than that.
Still, Hinowa seemed to press further into the issue. She said that he'll just act the part, and that when he noticed that Tsukuyo seemed to be scared even a little, then he'll stop. After all, since he's a good actor and an expert sadist, she knew that he can pull it off. But even so, Gintoki wasn't deterred.
Much to his dismay, Hinowa seemed to hold the ace up on her sleeve. She blackmailed him by telling him that she'll make him pay for the replacement of all those pachinko machines that he accidentally destroyed a few weeks ago, which was worth a fortune. He knew that even if he combined all of his wealth he still wouldn't be able to pay all of those. Thus, with no other choices left, he hesitantly agreed.
And now, here he was, walking with her. He was nervous on what he was about to do, since he hadn't experienced such a thing before. Thus, in order to make himself at ease, he ran a simulation on his mind.
Gintoki: Tsukuyo, I heard that you're always going out late at night. Don't you think that's dangerous?
Tsukuyo: And why is that? I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, you know.
Gintoki: Yeah, I'm aware of that. But still, you're a girl. What would happen if you get raped?
Tsukuyo: What nonsense are you saying? I am—
*Tsukuyo stops on her tracks as Gintoki attacks her, and brings her into a dark place. He tries to kiss her, and when he noticed that she was frightened by his actions, he would stop.*
Tsukuyo: *looks at him* Gintoki… why did you do that?
Gintoki *smirks* I'm just going to teach you a lesson… You're not fully aware of the dangers present nowadays, are you? You should learn to listen to what others think what's good for you, Tsukuyo.
Gintoki: And besides, Hinowa requested me to do this. Sorry about that.
Tsukuyo: Ah, no! It's okay. I understand. I was wrong! Thank you so much, Gintoki. Sorry for the trouble.
Gintoki: Nah, it's nothing. You should learn to be more cautious from now on.
As he thought of this, Gintoki then grinned to himself.
Yeah, I better proceed with this. Everything would be okay, right? Everything would turn out as planned, right? I won't botch this, right?
Tsukuyo then stopped on her tracks, which made Gintoki snap out of his trail of thoughts. As the Shinigami Courtesan looked at him with curiosity in her eyes, he then steeled his resolve and gulped to himself.
"Where are we going?" asked Tsukuyo, who now eyed him with a bored look while she took a smoke out of her kiseru. "You don't seem to have any destination, do you?"
Faced with that question, Gintoki felt even more nervous. He knew that he had to do it, but he just couldn't help himself. Should he even proceed with it? If he does, then how should he even do it?
But even so, he knew that it's better if he would be indifferent. He supposed that if he used the topic of "rape" in their conversation, then he could do his acting smoothly. Thus, he decided to proceed with his plan.
"I heard that you were always going out late at night, Tsukuyo," he started, walking down the streets once again. "You really are careless, aren't you? You've got no sense of feminine awareness at all."
"Of course I wouldn't," she snorted. "Didn't I tell you that I've already given up on being a woman a long time ago?"
"Sure you do. You know, it's really dangerous at night. I heard that there are serial cases of rape near this area, so you better stay at home at night."
Hearing the word "rape" made Tsukuyo stop on her tracks. Somehow, that word seemed to trigger the memory of yesterday's events to resurface again. Clenching her fists tighter on her sides, she continued on walking once again.
"If I were you, I wouldn't waste my time with this. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Gintoki."
"Oh, really now? Says the one who let her guard down and allowed herself to almost get kissed yesterday."
"What are you talking about?" she demanded, grabbing him by the hem of his shirt. "Nothing of that sort happened yesterday, you retard!"
And Gintoki stood there, looking at the girl in front of him. The distance between them was shorter than usual, and he used that to his advantage by taking hold of both her wrists, tightening his grip on them.
Tsukuyo tried her hardest to break free from his tight clutch on her wrists, but she realized that he's just too strong, that she's no match for him. Still holding her in place, the silver-haired samurai then dragged her into a dark alley, where no one would ever see them.
Gintoki gave her a smirk. "What, didn't you say that you can take care of yourself? You looked so helpless to me."
With this statement, Tsukuyo can only feel her heart beat faster on her chest.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? Let go of me!"
But much to her dismay, Gintoki didn't say anything, but instead pinned her against the wall. He then shot her a smug look, and at that moment, Tsukuyo seemed to be aware of the danger she was in.
"G-Gintoki! Don't you even dare! I—"
"I—what?" he asked, making the poor girl stop on her ranting as she noticed that he was slowly inching his way closer to her.
Gintoki looked at her intently, akin to that of an animal's stare at its own prey. He tightened his hold on her wrists, and started to lean down his head towards hers, his lips only a few inches away from her own supple lips. He could even feel the warmth of her breath on his face. As he gradually came closer, he was able to breathe in her scent—that womanly scent that was slowly intoxicating him and making him unable to render any coherent thought. And at such a distance, Gintoki realized something.
He knew that he was just supposed to scare her. He knew that he shouldn't do anything to her. He knew that he shouldn't even touch her and be close to her like this, since they aren't even in a relationship. Thus, he tried his hardest to stop himself.
However, at such a distance, he realized that he was already slipping out of his control…and he couldn't help himself.
Sakata Gintoki was a perfectly healthy young man. And just like any other men his age, the sight of Tsukuyo looking so vulnerable as she stood there helplessly against the wall tempted him. That worried look of hers mixed with fear seemed to turn him on, and he even felt a little bit sadistic as he gradually shifted his weight onto her.
The way she called his name had a certain ring to it which even he could not comprehend. He didn't know why, but just hearing her voice makes him so—
The way she had said his name had so much strength, so much urgency in it. And upon hearing this, something in Gintoki snapped as he quickly silenced her with a soft, chaste kiss.
It was short yet sweet—nothing romantic about it. As he slowly pulled away from her, he looked back at her and saw that she had a shocked expression plastered on her face. Her eyes were wide open, lips parted slightly from his kiss.
And it was in that moment that Gintoki had lost all of his control, as he suddenly dipped his head down to kiss her once again. However, the way he kissed her now was far too different from before.
Rape me, rape me my friend
Rape me, rape me again
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
He forced himself on her, giving her frantic kisses on her lips, despite her protests to stop. He could feel her whimper on his mouth, but he didn't take any heed of it as he deepened the kiss, not caring if either one's lips may be grazed by their teeth since the girl wasn't kissing back.
Rape me (rape me)
Rape me (rape me)
Rape me (rape me)
Rape me (rape me)
Rape me (rape me)
Rape me (rape me)
Rape me (rape me)
Rape me (rape me)
With all the strength that she could muster, she pushed him away.
And with that, Gintoki seemed to have gone back to his senses.
Realization dawned upon him as he saw Tsukuyo on her knees, panting heavily. Despite the darkness in the whole area, he could see her flushed face illuminated by the moon. Her lips were red and swollen, an obvious result of his earlier actions. He studied the look that she had given him—it was a look of shock and disbelief, and not a single shred of hatred on her expression was apparent, much to his relief. However, as he looked closer at her face, he then saw something that broke his heart.
There were tears in her eyes. And as he saw this, he quickly realized his actions and its possible consequences.
He shouldn't have done this. He shouldn't have done this at all. Who the hell knew that he could lose himself that easily? He quickly regretted all of his actions. How was he supposed to face Tsukuyo now?
She deserved better. She deserved better than a moron like him who couldn't even control himself. Gritting his teeth in frustration, he then stared at her with a melancholic expression on his face.
"I'm sorry, Tsukuyo. I was unable to contain myself at all that I just.. I just can't help it. Call me whatever you want, you may insult me whenever you want, and you may do whatever you want to me… since it's…my fault."
He then faced his back on her, and took a step forward. "Hinowa told me to scare you by pretending to rape you. And at the middle of it, I kinda lost myself as I gave in to the temptation. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, Tsukuyo."
As Gintoki said those words, Tsukuyo just stood there, dumbfounded. But before she can even say anything, he left without a single word, not even leaving a single trace of his presence behind.
Tsukuyo stared at the area where Gintoki was standing earlier.
She then instinctively reached out her hand towards her lips, her dainty fingers tracing its contours.
"Gintoki….why did you..?"
Gintoki continued on walking, not even halting for a second. He just walked and walked along the pavement, without even taking heed of where he was or where he's headed to. He went wherever his feet had led him… He was like a robot who just continued on moving, without a mind of its own.
He sighed for the umpteenth time that night. He tried his hardest to forget about the earlier incident with Tsukuyo, but despite his efforts, he just couldn't help it. The image of her tear-streaked face kept on appearing on his mind, and because of that, he only felt his guilt become heavier by the second.
Truth be told, he never expected that he would actually lose control of himself, and do that kind of thing to her. On the contrary, never did he thought that he would actually act like that towards a woman, especially someone like her, since he knew that he wasn't interested on anyone else besides Ketsuno Ana. However, that incident clearly proved him wrong.
It was the very first time that he had been so close like that with a woman. It was also the very first time that he had kissed someone at all. All his life, he had lived a very celibate life since he had no luck with his love life, even though he had a stalker who was very willing to offer herself to him.
Everything was new to him. The sensation, the experience, the feeling… Never did he know that women can be so… intoxicating, that even he had a hard time to restrain himself. As he kissed her fervently back then, he noticed that she was just perfect in his arms, and that the taste of her lips were so sweet and addicting that he couldn't help but to kiss her again. And even though he longed to feel that way again, he knew that it was impossible, given the circumstances.
Tsukuyo must've hated him for what he did. But, who wouldn't? He just took her first kiss. Who knows, maybe she was just like those other girls who treasured that kind of thing…was she? He knew that she was different from the rest of them, but he also knew that what he did was wrong. Thus, steeling his resolve, he swore to himself that he would go see her tomorrow, and apologize once again.
"Aaaah, this is so frustrating," he grumbled to himself, his hand finding its way on his permed hair. "I need to calm down. It's not like I have molested her or anything. It was just a kiss… Well, not exactly your ordinary kiss, but it's still a kiss. A kiss."
Hearing someone giggle in front of him, Gintoki stopped on his tracks. In front of him were a group of courtesans, and they smiled at him as they approached him, snaking their hands on his arms.
"It's Gin-sama! Yoshiwara's Messiah had come to see us~!"
Gintoki felt awkward at this. Moving back a little bit, he gulped and said, "I-It's nice to see that everyone's doing well. I'm off to the surface now, so I g-gotta go now.."
"But Gin-sama!" hushed one of the courtesans, tightening their grip on his arms. "We haven't seen you for a long time now! Please, come in for some drinks!"
"B-But I don't have any money," he replied. "Seriously, it's not the time for me to relax, I have lots of problems to solve and—"
"It's on the house! You do not need to worry! For tonight, you can just relax and feel at home! Please Gin-sama, you're Yoshiwara's savior! This is the least we could do for you!"
Gintoki sweatdropped in response. He didn't even know what happened just now as he found himself being dragged by the courtesans into one of the establishments in the red-light district of Yoshiwara.
Tsukuyo sat on the engawa in front of her room, reminiscing about the things that happened between her and Gintoki. Her hands leaning against the wooden surface, she then let out a deep sigh.
She was still confused about what happened. She thought that Gintoki just asked her to be his company as he walked along the streets of Yoshiwara, but it seems that she was wrong. Turns out that Hinowa asked him to teach her a lesson, but somehow, Gintoki had done something more than what Hinowa had instructed.
Much to her surprise, Gintoki had kissed her. And he didn't only kiss her once—he kissed her twice, thrice, until she had lost count. He kissed her fervently, with each kiss increasing in need and desire. And truth be told, she wasn't against it. She liked the idea of kissing Gintoki, but as soon as his kisses grew more and more intense, she couldn't help but be embarrassed.
Every time his lips had crushed into hers, the idea of being more intimate with him kept on appearing in her mind. Since she was ashamed and embarrassed that she had thought of such dirty things like that, she tried to hold herself back, and in the process, she wasn't able to kiss him back, but instead, had pushed him away.
She knew that Gintoki was hurt by her actions. The look that he gave her after she had pushed him away broke her heart, and she was frustrated about it. She didn't know why Gintoki had done this, but this is what she'd hoped for, what she'd dreamed of. And now that it happened, she had pushed him away due to extreme embarrassment. No matter how she thought about it, it's just unfair to him. She needed to settle this mess.
Hence, she decided that she'll find him tonight, no matter what it takes. She received reports from the Hyakka that he's still in Yoshiwara, so she'll take advantage of that situation and apologize to him.
Standing up abruptly, she then went to close the fusuma when she noticed a bottle of clear liquid with no label on it. Deciding that it was some kind of refreshment, she then took a glass and poured its contents over it, before finally taking a sip out of it.
"Yoshiwara no Kyuuseishu-sama, come on, drink more, it's on the house!"
"Gin-sama~! Ne, what do you think of Yoshiwara? Do you enjoy it here?"
"Do you fancy anyone here in Yoshiwara, Kyuuseishu-sama?"
Despite all the nudging that the group of oiran in front of him did, Gintoki remained motionless, as he continued on staring at the empty ochoko in his hands, void of any sake.
Seeing that Gintoki wasn't enjoying himself, the oiran then tried their best to entertain the young samurai by pouring sake on his empty ochoko. "Gin-sama, you seem occupied today," one of them remarked, which startled Gintoki. "Is there something wrong?"
He shook his head. "It's nothing important anyway. Please…just ignore it."
The women around him knew that whatever made him that depressed was no trifling matter. In fact, half an hour had already passed ever since they've invited him over for some drinks, but the only thing that he did upon his arrival was to take a few sips of sake, and stare at his empty ochoko, his mind obviously going off to somewhere else. And because of that, they were getting worried.
They tried their hardest to cheer him up—they chatted with him, massaged his back and shoulders, poured him sake and served him some snacks, but everything was in vain as Gintoki still remained motionless and depressed.
Not being able to take it any further, one of them inched closer to him and looked at him intently.
"Gintoki-sama, please cheer up."
Hearing this, Gintoki only looked back at the oiran who had said this, and gave a small chuckle. "Come on, don't worry about me. I'm fine, really! I'm just a little bit tired, that's all!"
"I'm fine," he assured, and took a sip out of his ochoko. "Thanks for your concern, but I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about."
Gintoki was keeping things to himself, and the oiran in front of him knew that. Hence, they tried to be straightforward with him.
They inched closer to him. "Was it about work?"
"Was it about your family?"
As soon as he heard that, Gintoki was rendered speechless. He tried not to answer it by taking a sip of sake once again. However, the courtesans knew that they had guessed right.
"Kyuuseishu-sama, if something happened with you and your woman, it's best if you would settle this quickly," said one of the oiran as she refilled the ochoko with sake. "Nothing would happen if you keep on fretting about what happened, you know. Talk to her—I'm sure she'll understand."
With those words, Gintoki realized that she was indeed right. He had spent a lot of time there, thinking about that incident between him and Tsukuyo. He was stalling himself from the truth. He needed to talk to her.
Hence, he decided that he should find Tsukuyo and talk to her. He'll explain everything to her. He'll apologize to her. But if he's still here, he wouldn't be able to do it. Hence, he stood up, much to the surprise of the oiran beside him. And with one bow of apology, he quickly ran out of the room, and out of the establishment.
However, by the time he went outside, he then saw a familiar figure of a girl standing right in front of the gates, her back facing him.
Gintoki felt his sweat trickle down his skin as he studied the sight right in front of him. The moonlight illuminating her from the dark, he then realized that the person right in front of him was no other than the person that he wanted to meet.
ochoko – are small, cylindrical vessels used for drinking sake.
sake – alcoholic beverage of Japanese origin that is made from fermented rice.
Yoshiwara no Kyuuseishu-sama — Savior of Yoshiwara-sama
oiran – courtesan
fusuma – are vertical rectangular panels which can slide from side to side to redefine spaces within a room, or act as doors. They differ from shoji as they are covered with paper on both sides, and light cannot pass through it.
More Author's Notes:
So..this is the first part of my very first M-Rated fanfic. Tell me what you think in a review! Sorry if the concept of rape kept on appearing though, since it was the topic given to me, so I needed to include it. I actually think that Hinowa wouldn't do that kind of thing either, though for this fic's sake, let's just pretend that she can do that. Yeah. I made them kinda OOC, right? Forgive me.. but it's just hard to make this story work without them acting like that. *sweatdrop*
I know you may have already noticed this, but I made it as a twoshot in order to set the mood for the lemon. At least now, both of them have the "reasons" as to why they'll do it, right? Next chapter would be fluffy and lemony, and I'm sure that Gintoki's fangirls (like me) would have nosebleeds on how adorable he is. ('Coz he is!) Anyway, since I've posted stories weekly now, that means I can make a wager now, right?
So minna, if you want the next chapter… please give this story at least ten reviews. Pretty small, no? Well, I'll feel bad if this gets such a low number of reviews, since I exerted so much effort on this, after all. And besides, ten reviews are too little for a story of 8,000+ words, no?