Tony was leaning against the doorway to the shared lab on the S.H.I.E.L.D aircraft, frowning as he watched Banner check a computer and write something down. He waited until Bruce checked his phone, smiled at whatever it was and typed a reply before setting it down on the table. Tony stepped towards him, grinning as if nothing were wrong.
"Hey, buddy," he said, stepping closer to Bruce and – more importantly – his phone.
Bruce looked up and smiled at him, "Hey."
"So – what're you working on?" A few inches away from where his left hand was resting was Bruce's phone.
He shrugged, going back to the computer, "Nothing."
"Hmm," Tony hummed before internally cursing when he got his phone and checked the screen before shoving it into his pocket. Great.
"Stop trying to steal my phone, Stark," Bruce said, typing on a computer and smirking when Tony huffed.
"I just got the memo that you're leaving tonight," he said, frowning down at him, "Care to tell us why?"
"So I can be where I need to be tomorrow," Bruce answered without looking up from the screen. "That's usually how these things work."
"But why do you need to be somewhere? Where are you going?" he glared.
"Home," he shrugged.
Tony blinked, "Why? Something wrong with your parents?"
"No," he shook his head, wanting to get away from this conversation as he hated where it would lead eventually.
"Tomorrow's Father's Day!" Tony finally grinned, "Going to see your old man?"
"No, I hate my 'old man,'" Bruce glanced up at him dully, "Look, what I'm doing tomorrow is my business, and I'd appreciate it if you'd stay out of it."
Tony sighed and sulked out of the room.
When Bruce had said "home," Tony was expecting a nice little old lady's house, complete with eighty cats, or a little hut in the jungle somewhere. Instead, Tony was hiding behind a tree, looking into a rather large clearing, where a house you might find in the suburbs rested. Bruce had just walked into the house without knocking, so this was obviously where he lived. But it looked well-kept, as if the owner hadn't been gone for nearly a year.
Tony slowly crept up to the window, peering into a kitchen, where Bruce had already rolled his sleeves up and was making something.
"Strange," Tony muttered to himself.
He started when a British feminine voice said, "Says the bloke hiding in our bushes."
Tony jumped up and stared wide-eyed at the woman. She had curly brown hair and big brown eyes, smirking up at him as she crossed her arms over her chest. She seemed to be somewhere around Bruce's age, which would've had a few alarm bells going off normally, except he was a little mortified at the fact that the woman had just caught him.
She opened the front door wider and stuck her head in, "Bruce, some bloke is creeping in the bushes!"
"Tell Tony to come on in!" he called back without looking.
Tony hung his head and shot the woman a sheepish grin before following her into the house. Bruce wiped his hands off on a rag and walked into the entryway, arching an eyebrow at Tony as he stood before him.
"So you followed me home?" he asked.
"I was only worried about your safety," he said, making the woman snort and grin away from them.
"In my own house?" Bruce grinned back.
"Alright, I was curious," Tony huffed, "You can't blame me though."
"Actually, yes I can," he chuckled before sighing, "Fine. Tony, this is my wife, Hermione."
"'Lo," she waved, smiling as Tony gaped at her before she walking into a dining room and disappeared from sight.
"You're married? That wasn't anywhere on your file!" he yelped.
Bruce shrugged, "I pulled strings with Fury and Romanoff to keep it off my papers."
"And this is Natalie," Hermione said, bringing in a little girl on her hip. The little girl had curly black hair and rather tan skin, frowning up at her mother with brown eyes that could've been either of her parents. A purple crayon was in one fist, a sheaf of paper in the other.
"You – have – a – daughter?" Tony gaped even further at the grinning Bruce.
"You talk funny," Natalie smiled at Tony before frowning, "Why you yellin' at my daddy, Mister?"
"Natalie, this is Tony Stark," Hermione said, "He works with Daddy."
"Oh," Natalie blinked at him, "Please stop yellin' at my daddy, Mister Stork."
"Stark, Honey," Bruce said as he picked Natalie out of Hermione's arms, "S-t-a-r-k."
Natalie looked thoughtful, "That's not how you spell 'Stork.'"
"No, it's not," he smiled back before pecking her on the head and setting her down on the ground. She zoomed back to the dining room to go color.
"Agent Romanoff, Director Fury and my husband decided to keep me and Natalie safe by keeping us off of his file. Since I changed my last name, mine was rather easier. Professor Hermione Granger is, for all intents and purposes, studying in Berlin. She never met Doctor Bruce Banner, they never dated, they never got married, and they never had Natalie Dawn Banner."
"What did you do for hers?"
Bruce grinned, "We never had Natalie Dawn Banner. We did, however, have Natalie Joan Banner."
"What did I do?" Natalie asked rather frightfully from the dining room.
"Nothing, Love, we were just telling Mister Stark your middle name," Hermione called.
"Okey-dokey-lokey!" she chirped.
Tony slapped his hand over his face, "You came home for Father's Day. And I'm ruining it."
"A little bit," Bruce shrugged, making Hermione frown and elbow him lightly in the ribs. Natalie ran in, tripping and ripping the paper in her hands. The little girl gasped and looked sadly at it before wadding it up and scrunching her brow. Tony wanted to tell her that they could tape it back up, that she didn't need to do that, when she started unfolding the repaired paper, no creases on it as she ran up and handed it to Tony.
"Oh, also, I'm a witch, and Natalie's one as well," Hermione said, scratching the side of her nose, "Don't tell too many people, okay?"
Tony nodded dumbly as he gaped at the little girl, who was waiting patiently for him to look at the picture. He looked and saw him, even the words 'AC/DC' on his shirt.
"Thank you, Natalie," Tony blinked at her as she finally grinned and turned to her father.
"Can I have cookie dough?" she asked.
Bruce frowned, "No, it'll make you sick."
"Mummy eats it."
"Mummy doesn't listen to me."
"Oh…" she looked at a loss, as if wondering who she should be listening to on this situation. She then brightened again, "Can I have peanut butter?"
"Get a clean spoon, Love, and sure," Hermione answered, smiling as she beamed and ran into the kitchen, making airplane noises as she did so.
"Well," Tony shuffled his shoes, "I'll just…be going."
"Good," Bruce mumbled, Hermione grinning and trying to frown at him for it. "See you tomorrow, Tony."
"Tomorrow?" Tony turned on him and frowned, "You mean you're just staying today?"
"Uhh, yeah," he shrugged.
"But…you've worked at S.H.I.E.L.D for nearly a year, surely you can take a week off to see your family."
"If I take a week off, everybody will go nuts," Bruce snorted, shaking his head and grinning at him, "Don't worry about it, we've got it."
"Bye," Hermione called, picking up a stray crayon.
"G'bye Mishta Stahk!" Natalie called through a mouthful of peanut butter.
"Bye everybody, and sorry," he apologized as he left and shut the door behind him. He glanced back and saw Bruce kissing the side of Hermione's head, making both of them smile as Natalie wrinkled her nose and rolled her eyes, holding the spoon in place in her mouth.
"Happy Father's Day, big guy," Tony grinned as he left the little clearing.
Wanted to get this chapter up before Father's Day was over. My dad is currently in the hospital, but he'll be fine, so…yeah. Kinda sad over on this end, but I'm dealing.